


Darkest Space

by WorldAnchor



Series: Jane and Saren fanfictions [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 3, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 14:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 104,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorldAnchor/pseuds/WorldAnchor
Summary: This is a Saren/Femshep romance/action fanfic which spans over Mass Effect 1/(2)/3."There was a hunger in his eyes, like he needed a prey, someone who was strong enough to entertain him. She took a couple of steps, ending up inches away from his face.He was an extraordinary sight.He towered over her, tall and muscular, and his plates were pale as snow. His whole chest and shoulders moved with every ragged breath, his fingers flexing, waiting for the fight, hungry for the damage. Her chest suddenly sank from anticipation. She came here to beat her sadness out and had found the perfect opponent once again. And he was waiting for her too."





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Please enjoy and a leave a comment if you're interested/like it! :)

Saren could barely see anything.   
He didn't know where he was, nor where he came from or how he got there. The sand was coarse under his feet, tiny rocks hit his ankle as he stumbled upon this strange, dark ground. He was weak, but he kept going.  His feet would not stop, his talons kept digging into the sand as he lost his balance.   
  
There was no one here, just an endless desert and distant stars on the sky. His memories started coming back as he fell face flat to the ground.   
  
"Jane" he whispered slowly. Her face was all he could think about, he couldn't forget.    
Her eyes as she shouts, a gun in her hand. Screaming. Devastated and angry, losing her grip on reality.   
  
_Her red hair flew around her face as she fearlessly left her cover to storm to him, to try and make him change his mind. To fight him, to hit him, to do anything, but she was unable to reach him when he pointed his gun to his own head._  
She was eerily beautiful, but it was too late.   
"It's too strong" he breathed. And he pulled the trigger.   
__________________________________________________________________________________________________   
  
How much time passed? Hours? Days? Years? It felt like he was lying in the sand for so long that it became a part of him.   
  
But soon he felt his strength coming back to him and he became more and more aware, like after a long night of sleeping. He stood up and looked around, trying to figure out where he is. It was all just dunes, no buildings around. He could have been anywhere in the galaxy. A cold wind swept through the night as the turian got himself together and slowly folded his scarf around his mouth.  
  
As he went from dune to dune, hill to hill, his resolve got stronger and stronger.   
He had no idea why but he lived again, and he did not intend to waste this opportunity.   
  
"You will pay for this" he murmured, already plotting the revenge, when his feet hit something hard in the sand. He crouched down and found that something was buried in the ground. He swept the sand away and his talons touched a cold metal surface. He started to dig out more and more but it never ended. That thing must have been huge.   
  
And the touch... was so familiar: a strange sensation lingered in the metal, a feeling that he could not mistake for anything else. A feeling he did not want, but was once planted in his mind, that never really left.   
  
Indoctrination.


	2. Visions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mass Effect Saren/Jane Shepard romance fanfic spanning through ME 1/(2)/3.  
> I might add other tags later as the characters come along.  
> I'm so excited! :)

 

Jane Shepard stepped down from the CIC and made her way to the elevator. The crew seemed to be pumped up and ready for action after her speech, though she knew that accepting 3 aliens on board might take some time for them. Well, traveling to Feros should leave them enough, to do just that.  
But at the moment she had more pressing matters to tend to.

She fired her fist into the elevator controls which took her to her quarters. She locked the doors, got her PDA out and started searching for the only name that kept flooding her mind since she first saw the Council.

Saren Arterius.

She wanted to check the sealed Spectre records of him the Council has offered her to help with her investigation, but to her surprise, they were gone.

"Fuck" she cried out "That asshole hacked his own profile!" She was impressed. Saren deleted his own data on purpose, so she can't get a glimpse of it and learn any valuable information of him. So Jane turned to the beauties of the extranet and looked him up. All she could find was an article about the youngest turian ever to become a spectre: a young Saren who looked just as frightening as his older version. Other that this she couldn't find anything valuable. She browsed for hours, but nothing came up, no articles, no interviews or other media. Eventually all she could find was another picture. She did not know who took it or when, but it was the most haunting picture she had ever seen. And she's seen some dinosaur faces in her life.

The picture reminded her of their meeting in the Council's chambers. How arrogant and dangerous he looked... those piercing blue eyes. Everyone who had heard of or met Saren was terrified or disgusted, but all she could see in him was raw strength. What are these Reapers that he's after? She tossed her red hair behind her ears. She was going to crack this turian's secret and finally end the overwhelming boredom in her heart.

_______________________________________________

  
The blue light coming from the computer lit up Saren's eyes even more. He was so deep into his research he almost molded into the screen. He went through tons of reports, interviews, pictures, articles and the more he saw, the more he was amused by this squishy human girl. Jane was practically a war hero at 18 after the Skyllian Blitz, where she single-handedly kicked the ass of an entire batarian troop.

There was even footage of that. She moved like lightning, effortlessly, her moves resembled dancing to Saren. The camera was shaky and the view was bad, but he could see her bright red hair flying everywhere, she had pistols in both hands. She cut through the batarians like a hot knife through butter.

And those interviews... she didn't give many, but the reporters were practically destroyed by the end. She was quick, witty and strong.

So... she was the one who used the beacon on Eden Prime... and now she was after him.

Saren's mandibles twitched, like he was smiling. He stood up with the strange thought in his head that he's looking forward to the moment she catches up to him, and he can finally wipe that cheeky smile from her face.

"The Cipher is your goal" a voice ripped through Saren's mind, and he knew it was Sovereign. A shiver went down his spine.

He turned the computer off and stood in the darkness for a long minute, before making his way to his bed.

  
_______________________________________________

  
Destruction. War. Chaos. Panic.  
Bloody images filled Jane's mind again and again, and a horrendous voice screeched in her head. Her heart sped up and she felt like she was dying. An inevitable darkness followed her faster and faster and she couldn't get away. She tried screaming but her body went numb. She saw an insect-like creature for a second.

She bursted out of her bed, sweating, barely being able to breathe. The same damned vision kept creeping back into her mind since she touched the beacon. The same images, over and over again, tiring her out every night. She eventually calmed herself down and went to take a shower. There were only hours left before they would reach Feros.

Finally, some action – she thought as she dropped her casuals and stood under the hot stream of water. When finished, she just jumped to her desk, raising her PDA and checking her messages. Captain Anderson, that fucker Udina and tons of ads about krogan testicles.

"Wrex, if you could see this" she laughed as she scrolled down the list. That was when something caught her eye. It was a message from an unknown source, without any subject. She clicked on it.

  
"You can't catch me."

  
She flew out of her chair, kicking it back to the other side of the room. She was startled and amused at the same time, because she knew that this message could only come from one person, or one turian, to be exact.  
Before she could do anything, the comms on her door chimed.

"Yes? Who's that?" She asked, closing the message and quickly putting her chair back to its original position. She fought down a smile, she was so excited.

"The best sniper in the whole galaxy" came a familiar low voice from the comms. Jane opened the door to reveal Garrus, who was ready for battle, and clearly excited that she already picked him on their first mission.

"You're not even the best shooter on this ship" she laughed, letting the turian in.

"Ahw, I know you're jealous, there's no point hiding it" said Garrus and made his way into her quarters. Since she brought him on the Normandy, they quickly found a mutual tone of playful banter and dirty jokes, and this time was no exception. "We have an ETA of an hour till Feros and your hair is still wet?" He commented.

"At least I have hair, not like you, you dinosaur-face!" She laughed and sat down to her desk again, motioning for Garrus to come take a look at her screen.

"Can you at least tell me what a dinosaur is?" he asked, continuing their play. He then took a look at her PDA where Jane pointed. It was a one-line message from an unknown source.

Garrus' mandibles twitched, and his green eyes widened. Heavy air filled the room as the turian buried his face into his commander's PDA. He looked at Jane, but his face was void of the happiness and playfulness it had a minute ago. His eyes radiated disgust and a low rumbling escaped his throat.

"Where did you get this from?" He asked slowly.

"I have no idea, it doesn't say. But it can only be from Saren..." Jane said, no expression on her face.

"Let me check" he said, and they switched places. Garrus started digging into the source code of the message. "Ah spirits, it's all encrypted, we won't be able to find out where he sent it from."

"Yeah well" Jane started as she gathered her stuff together "He is a professional." She lingered for a moment "But why would he contact me? He risks a lot with this little message."

Garrus stood up and crossed his arms, looking at Jane. The obvious concern and anger was easily readable from his gestures. He was disgusted by Saren.

"He has a reason I'm sure" he grumbled as he turned around to leave her quarters "A reason you might not want to find out" and with this the door swooshed closed behind him.

  
"Or a reason I need to find out" Jane said to herself as she was now alone in the room.

  
_______________________________________________

  
Feros was proven to be a hell of an adventure. There were geth everywhere and the corporation named ExoGeni was hiding a weird creature called the "Thorian" which eventually poisoned the colonists in the region. When they finally found the thorian and managed to beat the shit out of it, they had encountered an asari woman named Shiala.

"I served Matriarch Benezia" she started "She allied herself with Saren to guide him down a gentler path. But Saren was more compelling than she had originally thought. Benezia lost her way."

Tali and Garrus exchanged looks.  
"Her plan backfired" he said.

"Saren can control minds?" Jane asked with innocent curiosity. Maybe that's why he was messaging her?

"No, he has a vessel. An enormous warship unlike anything I've ever seen. He calls it Sovereign. It can dominate the minds of his followers." Shiala started nervously walking around "They become indoctrinated to Saren's will. The process is subtle, it can take days or weeks. But in the end, it's absolute."

Jane swallowed down her nerves. She didn't see the whole picture yet as to what Saren wants, but she had an unsettling feeling inside her stomach. Normally she loved action, fighting, as that was what she was the best at. She hated everything that other people called a "a normal life" and tried to fill her own with as much fun as she possibly could. Fighting the thorian and saving the colonists with grenades was fun, just like discovering hundreds of planets in the galaxy, but this indoctrination... she already hated it. It sounded like something that takes away the core of your purpose in life. Freedom.

"Saren allied himself with the thorian, because he needed its secrets. He used my biotics to achieve his goal" Shiala said. "And after he got what he wanted, he ordered the geth to destroy the thorian. He knows you're after him, and the Conduit. He knows you are following his steps. He attacked the thorian so you could not gain the Cipher."

Garrus looked right at Shepard. His look was full of suspicion. They thought of the same thing: Saren reached out to her to display his dominance. Or to cover his haste.

"Cipher? What's that?" Jane asked, and received the answer, that the Cipher is the prothean knowledge that helped Saren understand the visions of the beacon on Eden Prime. Help understand it, decipher it, and through that, bring back the reapers.

Jane became more and more anxious by the minute. She commended Shiala to give her the Cipher as well, so she can stop Saren. At any cost.

 

_______________________________________________

 

Benezia looked into the CIC. The bridge was empty, only one figure stood there in the dark, gazing down upon the galaxy map. Saren rested his arms on the console, his blue eyes glaring, fixated on one spot of the map. His silhouette was almost one with the shadows of the ship, his talons firmly gripping the railing above the controls. He hasn't moved for minutes, and just stood there like a dark statue.

"We lost communication with the geth ship on Feros" she started "The colony is still intact, but I have no information on the thorian."

There was no immediate reply. She waited for Saren to burst out in anger like last time, she waited for Sovereign to scream in her mind, but nothing happened. Saren only slowly turned around, and made his way to her with slow, heavy steps. He towered over her, but did not touch her.

"We have other objectives now" he whispered. His low voice rumbled through the CIC, and a gentle humming flooded the room. It came from everywhere and it made its way to her heart. She was eager to listen to whatever Saren had to say.

"You need to pay a visit to one of my research facilities in Noveria – The coordinates of the Mu Relay are hidden in the mind of the rachni queen there. You will break the queen and bring me what I need."

Benezia's heart leaped.

"You won't come with me?" She asked, a feeling of loneliness filling her mind.

"No. Virmire needs my attention."

  
_______________________________________________

  
The mess hall was empty when Jane exited the elevator. It was the middle of the night, and everyone has gone to bed now. She hoped to get some sleep after everything that's happened on Feros, thinking the Cipher might calm her mind from the flood of those visions. She was glad she collected Liara, because now she was sure that the visions were about the Reapers wiping out the protheans.

But the visions would still not go away. Every night she awoke after seeing the same pictures, feeling the same feeling of hopelessness. The screaming in her head would never stop, and she slowly given in to the sight. The suffering, the pain... the more she knew, the better she understood.

She poured coffee into her mug and buried her face in her hands.

"You can't catch me."

This message slowly fucked up every minute of her life.  
That one short sentence made her doubt everything. Yes, it ultimately meant that Saren was superior, but why did he reach out to her like that? He didn't need to say that he was the bad guy, everyone already knew... maybe-

"Can't sleep?"

Shepard quickly turned around startled by the fact that she was suddenly not alone.

"Geez, you make me shit my pants" she laughed, noticing Garrus entering the mess hall by the elevator.

"The great Commander Shepard is scared?" He asked happily, starting another banter, but there was no reply from Shepard. She just stood there, squeezing her mug in her hand. The turian approached her and put his talons on her shoulder as a means to comfort her. "The message... Don't even pay attention to it. It's just rubbish meant to mess with your mind."

"I know why he wrote it" she said suddenly. Garrus waited for her to finish.

"I'm the only one in this galaxy who saw the same thing he did." And with that Jane left the mess, and even left her coffee.


	3. No escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ////SPOILER Warning////From this chapter this story might contain major spoilers for you for ME 1/2/3. If you have not played these games yet, I highly suggest you exit this fanfic now, finish the games, and return when finished :)  
> This story might also contain occasional swear-words.
> 
> So this is the second chapter. The next chapters will all come weekly, I'll try to upload every Saturday around noon (CET). I really hope you will enjoy the story, and let me know your thoughts! :)
> 
> English is not my native language, if you find any oddities, you're welcome to point it out :)

 

 

Saren entered his lab on Virmire with haste, and ran promptly to the chamber where the first beacon was kept. This beacon was not the one that was found on Eden Prime: it was the first beacon Saren had ever encountered. He took a turn and descended to the artifact, raising his hand to touch it.

Sovereign’s projection appeared on the comms, and a low, rumbling voice filled the room:  


“The human you seek is here. She touched the beacon.”  


Darkness appeared on the turians face “She will not get away with this” he said, already turning around to exit the room, but Sovereign’s response stopped him in his tracks.  


“Turn that woman or eliminate her - but make sure you make no mistakes. I do not tolerante mistakes.” and with that the reaper’s silhouette vanished, leaving the chamber dark. Saren closed his eyes and contemplated his plan for a second. “No mistakes” he repeated with a dark expression on his face, his mandibles anxiously twitching. What a twat of a reaper.  


He then quickly proceeded outside and jumped on a hovercraft to find that annoying woman, and after not long, just outside the AA tower, he has finally set his eyes on the prize. The commander could be seen from miles away: her red hair was a beacon of fire amidst all the geth and alliance soldiers. But it wasn’t only her hair that stood out from the crowd that gathered at the tower: She had a pistol in one hand, relentlessly charging at the enemy, making closer contact with each step. She did not care about the gunfire or the hordes of geth soldiers, all she was interested in was going in for the kill. Her biotics flashed as the confused geth could not handle her proximity, and soon all of them came crashing to pieces. While getting closer and closer, readying his weapons, Saren noticed that her fighting style was less like actual fighting and more like dancing.. She flew between the geth with a grace he has never seen from a human before.

 

“What a sight” he thought to himself, when he landed on the platform as the last of the geth fell down. She was standing right there: her eyes beaming with anger, and with the heat of the battle. He had to admit it was a sight that amused him more than he wanted to admit.  


Then their eyes met, and Jane had realised whose presence she was in. She stood straight up, looking at the turian who immediately started firing his weapons. Shepard jumped behind the frame of the door behind her, and shot Saren three times. All bullets bounced off from his shield.  


“Nice diversion” he started “You convinced my geth that the salarians were the real threat. But I cannot let you destroy this facility. You have no idea what is at stake.”  


“I do know in fact” she replied, standing from her cover, facing the turian, pointing her gun towards him. “You destroying the galaxy is at stake…” she lingered “Why are you doing this?”  


“You have seen the visions yourself, Jane” Jane twiched from hearing the turian calling her by her first name. Rarely anyone allows themselves this luxury from the first moment. “You of all people should understand what the reapers are capable of” his voice hummed through the air “Look what happened to the protheans - they rebelled and were utterly destroyed just for the sake of their pathetic freedom. We on the other hand...” he tilted his head “Do you really believe submission is not preferable to extinction?”  


Jane sneakily glanced at the side and started stepping backwards, slowly. Garrus was just behind Saren, and was ready for a little push at the right moment.  


“Do you really believe they will let us live?” she asked with doubt on her face.  


“If we make ourselves useful, think about how many lives could be saved!” Saren explained, passionately, cornering Shepard, who was staying close enough not to alert Saren, but was slowly backing into the open door behind her. “But it comes with a price” he continued, his gaze fixated on Shepard “And I had hoped this facility would protect me. But for now, Sovereign needs me to find the Conduit.”  


“You’re afraid he’s taking over you” Jane cut his sentence “Your plan isn’t working. You are already under his control, and when he no longer needs you, you’ll become a mindless husk in his army!” her eyes gleamed with anger, stepping forward, now closing the distance between them.  


Saren opened his mouth to reply, but was suddenly shot forward by a bright explosion. His shields overloaded, and he fell into the water, down to his knees.  


“Now!” Shepard shouted, and Garrus - who was sneaking up behind them all this time - slammed his fist into the door controls. The doors slammed shut between them, leaving Saren and Shepard separated from the rest of the party and from the towers.  


Saren rose up from his knee, and was promptly hit in the chest by the commander. His shields did not function anymore, so she pushed him to the door now behind him, and flew her fist into his face.  


“JANE” he called again, grabbing the human by her shoulders. “You cannot win” he shouted and headbutted her. The commander fell into the water, but with a quick move she tripped him up. Saren also fell in the water, and by the time he moved his head to look up, the woman was on top of her. He caught her hands.  


“Don’t do this Saren, the reapers are going to kill everybody, including you! You cannot save anyone by the destroying the world!” she shouted passionately right into his face. Saren could not tell but her head was spinning - a turian headbutt is not a joke. Crimson blood was dripping down her face. Saren leaned in again and shot his forehead into hers - making him able to turn the tides and put the commander down into the water. Now he was on top of her.  


“No!” he shouted, frustrated. This woman was strong. Any other human would have already gone down by now, but she was capable. She tried to move in every possible direction to escape his grip, but his weight was too much. She fought with a fierceness Saren admired - a fierceness that reminded him of his own weakness.  


He was wondering again. Contemplating. If maybe..  


“Saren, you said it yourself” she cried out, her expression changing from anger to disappointment “I have seen the visions… I see them every night in my sleep.”

 

That did it.  
His eyes were now fixated on hers. The turian stopped moving, not releasing his grip on her.  


“You know what I’m talking about” she said with an all knowing glance.  


He did know. The countless hours of not being able to sleep, to try and cope with the haziness and chaos of these visions. To try to forget the memories, the sight of a whole empire wiped from existence - to remember the pain, the screaming, the relentless hopelessness that took over his every waking hour.

Her words softened a bit, as she stared deep into his bright blue eyes.  


“You cannot ally with them… they’re going to enslave and harvest us like crops. They will claim your mind… You are going to be their first victory” she murmured softly, grieving.  


“No!” he said, a new tone emerging in his speech - a tone of desperation - “Sovereign needs me!”  


Jane had enough.  


“No! You are destroying yourself and the whole fucking galaxy!” she cried, loud again, using the momentarily disturbance in Saren’s coordination to get out of his grip and land a punch to his jaw. Saren stood and slammed his back to the door, surprised by the sudden force she introduced. She came violently towards him: firing her fists into his face in every second, letting out a battle cry, that left him baffled. Her face was dark, and full of emotions he had yet to discover on human faces. Her red hair flew around her, her arms crying in protest, red and blue blood mixing on their faces.  


The door then suddenly opened behind them, making them fall again. Saren regained his footing and pushed the woman to the ground. He quickly reached out and grabbed her to throw her to the edge of the tower. Shepard tried to resist, but he was a lot stronger and grabbed her neck, lifting her up in the air. Their eyes just met, when the AA sirens went off, and the turian looked away in a moment of distraction.

Jane took this opportunity to land a punch, which released her from Saren’s grip. The turian quickly proceeded to his hover and left the scene in haste.  


“Shepard, we need to go!” shouted Garrus, helping Jane to stand up.  


“Goddamnit this turian!!” Shepard shouted, looking at the silhouette of the escaping Saren. Her blood was boiling with anger, her vision was cloudy. He got away again.

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

“Commander, what on Earth were you thinking...” asked Dr. Chakwas with a pale face while looking at the scanner results for Jane’s head and hands. Her head was fine, a few scratches only. But she almost broke 7 of her fingers; 4 on her right, and 3 on her left hand. It was a miracle they did not break, which would have resulted in Jane not being able to fire her weapons - or fight - for weeks. “How hard were you hitting that turian?”  


Shepard did not answer. She was just looking at the floor, silent. She was in no mood to talk.  


“I am so sorry…. about Ashley” the doctor sat down next to her commander, burying her face in her hands. “I’m going to miss her.. And this ship will never be the same without her.”  


Right. Ashley was lost in action on Virmire.  


“She could not be saved” whispered the commander “We need to make sure that will not be the case for the rest of us.” and with that she stood up to leave the med-bay.  


“Commander, your hands still need to be taken care of” the doctor said, but when she realized Shepard did not care about what she said, and will not let her bandage her hands, she shouted “At least try to rest them a bit if you want to fire any weapons on Ilos!”  


And with that, the door shut and Jane was gone. She took the elevator and burst down to engineering. Garrus was sitting with his back to the rear wheel, looking at the crew lockers on the other side of the hangar, where Ash used to be.  


“Hey” Jane called.  


“Hey" the turian answered, looking up a his superior.  


“Can I sit?”  


“Sure” nooded Garrus, and the commander sat down. They just sat there for a silent minute, their minds loud with thoughts. “Shepard” Garrus broke the silence eventually “What do you plan to do with Saren once we got him?”  


Jane looked at the turian, and lingered for a minute before answering.  


“He’s too dangerous to be left alive” she started. But Garrus saw through it all.  


“But?” he interrupted. Jane looked at him scoldingly.  


“But he could also be a valuable asset” she started “He knows more about the reapers than anyone else. If we would manage to keep him alive and somehow get him to join our side.. We might just have a chance against these damned bugs!”  


“Ah spirits, you never seize to amaze me” Garrus took a deep breath and slowly stood up. This was the answer he expected to get from his commander.  


Ever since they met on the Citadel in pursuit of Saren, he always thought this human was quite a special one. Men flocked after her (including Lt. Kaidan Alenko), but never reached her: the firearms on her side, some shooting in Chora’s Den and punching a reporter in the face scared most of the men away, even though she was beautiful. Even by turian standards: the turians weren’t used to squishy, short women like humans were, but there was something about her fiery red hair and bright blue eyes. Despite that humans were quite colourful, this combination was rarely seen, and it really elevated her from the masses of aliens on the Citadel.

She also picked up things quite fast, adapted really well and had a certain aura that made her very powerful. She always approached everyone with grace and clear intentions that he never really experienced with other humans. She was positive with everyone: never judged anyone from the beginning, and have given a chance to everyone to prove their worth.

Naturally, that applied here too, even if she wouldn’t admit it.  


“”Remember, Shepard” he added before leaving “You cannot save everyone, no matter how hard you try.”  


The elevator door swooshed closed, and Shepard was alone yet again.  
Why did she come down here again? She forgot, trying to find her place.

She waited for the elevator to drop Garrus off, then summoned it for herself. She drove it right up to her cabin. It was time to remove her armor and try and find some rest while they were en route to the Citadel to request reinforcements.  
She quickly escaped from the heavy armor trapping her tired body, and went right to the bathroom. Cold water was soon pouring from the shower head, easing the pain in her hands. She looked down on them: they were bruised and a bit swollen too.  


“Next time, only guns against turians” she thought to herself as she hissed from the pain.  


Saren was not exactly how she thought he was. He was much bigger than she anticipated, a little taller than Garrus (not by much though), but wider, more muscular. His face was a lot paler, almost greyish and had no markings on it whatsoever. He was a bareface: something turians found untrustworthy. What a surprise…

But there was something in him that was very familiar to her. She had no idea what it was, but it was there, slowly creeping into her brain.  
She fell into her bed and turned onto her back, looking at the ceiling. The fresh fragrant sheets slowly sucked her in as shell fell into a slumber, feeling her limbs getting heavier and heavier.  


A familiar deep, rumbling sound took over her mind  _“Sovereign needs me!”_  


“No” she whispered, falling fast asleep.

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

The space around Saren was cold and empty, as dark as ever. The stars were distant and silent, barely flickering their light. He found a small spot on the ship that actually had a window of some sort - although not entirely clear and was hidden deep within the ventilation system. He looked through the glass into the emptiness, not an inch of his body moving.  
Virmire’s memory was hazy in his mind. The only thing he clearly remembered from the attack was a blue jewel, almost like a mirror reflecting his own eyes within itself. It reminded him of the silvery waters of Palaven. It was hard to grasp why something so familiar was found by him in someone so distant: his mortal enemy.

She was different than the other humans: she was a lot stronger and fearless, but also small and moved somewhat like water. Her words started coming back to him now, echoing in his brain, like a distant dream coming back to life.  


_“I have seen the visions… I see them every night in my sleep.”_ Her blue eyes glistened with disappointment, sadness.  


A heavy feeling took over him, as the fog in his mind started to evaporate. Suddenly his limbs started to tingle and a low growl escaped his throat. The Conduit.

He needs to find the Conduit, otherwise everyone will be doomed, starting with him.

Because Sovereign cannot find the Conduit on its own. Because it’s not… organic. The prothean beacons were designed for organic beings.. Which he still is. Right?  


Right?  


His hands moved, and he looked at his talons. His vision started to fog up and he pushed his hands onto the ground beneath him. A thought emerged in him from deep within that fought the fog that took over his mind. He’s already too far gone.. The indoctrination is a permanent process and cannot be reverted. The research facility was for nothing, it cannot be stopped.

But Jane… she had seen the visions from the beacon, she understood. It didn’t break her. A simple human woman had more strength to withstand the fear and desperation of thousands of years than him. But what is he thinking now... it wasn’t the beacon… it was Sovereign that was in his mind.

Sovereign was… doing all of this. It sucked him dry of reason.  


The turian suddenly felt a wave of relief hitting him, and he somehow felt taller. His vision seemed to clear up and he looked out the window again. He ran to the thick glass and pressed his talon against it. His breath fell on the glass, his eyes in the distance. His forehead touched it, and he closed his eyes.  


The beacons, the Citadel… The Conduit… it needs to be stopped. Sovereign is going to win!  


“Jane-” he whispered, but suddenly an incredible pain pierced into his head. He tumbled away from the window as an unknown feeling surged through his body, shocking his limbs and burning his spine. The suffering concentrated in his chest as he lost control of his lungs, and started catching for breaths. He fell on his knees and fired his head into the cold metal floor of the room.  


“My power is infinite” came a scorching sound rumbling in his head “And you are merely a tool of your own destruction!” The air snapped, and a thunderous scream escaped the ventilation area.  


After the scream slowly and painfully died out, there were no more voices heard. The same quiet took over the ship that lingered here before. And with that, Saren’s mind went silent.


	4. Time

 

 

Here it was: the moment Sovereign was waiting for, and the moment when Jane finally felt that the game is just starting. Geth flooded the Citadel through the Mu Relay, and Sovereign has also showed itself to the masses of the station. The reaper hugged its arms around the Citadel Tower, like a parasite.  


“What a giant fucking bug!” Shepard voiced her amazement as they started climbing up the wall of the tower since their elevator broke down.  


“And we’re going to have a real bad bug-invasion if we don’t stop this one now!” shouted Tali over the gunfire. Shepard let out a small, quiet laugh as she proceeded to wreck the geth that were pouring at them.  


“Shepard, did you just laugh at your own joke, in the middle of the apocalypse?” asked Garrus from behind half-ironically, covering her while she was crashing through the synthetics. Another small, evil laugh could be heard from the comms, as the last of the turrets fell down, and the geth dropship started retreating.  


Shepard turned around and pointed towards the trap door on the floor, used as an escape route in case of any emergencies: they had to use it now to get in to the Council chambers.  


“I’ll get him now” she said, blue eyes gleaming under her helmet. She immediately turned around to open the trap door.  


“Shepard” said Garrus “You do realize, he can’t be saved, right?” he asked. Jane froze for a moment, releasing the console and turning back to his turian friend. There was a fire in her eyes, telling much, even before speaking.  


“We’ll see about that” was all she said before ripping the door open.

 

_______________________________________________________

 

They entered the Council chambers like a rocket: jumping out of the wall, like unexpected reinforcements, and made their way to the auditorium. Many geth fell once again in front of them, cleansing the space of their presence.  


That’s when she set her eyes on him.

Saren was standing right in eyesight, up on the pedestal, meddling with the Control Panel. He probably heard the gunfire as they were pretty close already, but was not interested in turning around. All of his attention was on the console in front of him.

But there was something in him. Something that wasn’t right.  


Shepard, after being frozen for a split second, grabbed the moment and went for it. She started running towards the turian, to reach him and end this once and for all. What she ignored was a small rocket tower planted just below the platform, to the left.

“Shepard!!” shouted Garrus and immediately opened fire on the tower. But by that time, it was already firing. And Shepard ran right through its crossfire.  


A thunderous sound blasted through the air, as the turret fired right at the commander, who disappeared under the cherry tree. When the shockwave subsided, a very angry Jane stood up from behind the large, white stones surrounding the tree, providing her cover.  


“Tali” she asked quickly, motioning at the tower, in a conspicuously loud voice “These turrets have a delayed firing algorithm to pretend overheating. How many seconds do you think is the delay?”  


Tali looked at the ground in front of her, calling on the knowledge in her head, as if it was written on the floor.  


“Around 15-20 sec-” she looked up, and right that moment she caught sight of her commander running to the turret, and literally jumping on it. “Keelah!!”  


“Hell Yeah!” called out Garrus, his mandibles clicking in amusement.  


Jane grabbed the head of the turret as she gained footing on the very top of it. Her biotics flared up as she grabbed the weapon with her left hand, and extended the right arm out to crack down. She looked right into the barrel, which automatically wanted to fire. In the last moment, a huge shockwave blasted from her hand, breaking the barrel from its rail. Electricity fired up in the air, and the rocket stuck in the now broken apparate gave in to the pressure. As Shepard jumped off of the geth, it exploded with a horroristic sound, quivering the walls of the chamber.  


“What the hell is going on there?” could be heard from the console: Saren was just looking over his shoulders, insulted by the distraction.  


They did not hesitate: the team ran right up the stairs, to meet Saren in a final battle. That’s when Saren grabbed a small sphere, and as he threw it in their direction, they realized it was a grenade. The trio evaded it by falling off to the sides, hiding behind the railing of the pedestal.  


Saren was standing at the console, looking down at them without a single move.  


“Ah” he exchaled “I’m really happy you caught up, I was afraid you’d never make it in time...”  


“For what?” Jane asked from behind her cover, listening to his words.  


“In just a few minutes, Sovereign will have control of all the Citadel systems.” he continued, his mandibles twitching, resembling a smile “The relay will open an the reapers will return.”  


Shepard let out a little laugh.  


“Not so fast.. What makes you think you can take me down?” she asked with a smirk on her face. Still behind the cover.  


“You were lucky on Virmire” he said with an empty smile. There was something wrong with his way of speaking. It wasn’t like it has been on Virmire: it was a lot colder, if someone can be any colder than he already was. But there’s been a ruthlessness to his speaking before then, something that emanated cold logic. But now… all of his words sounded like they were put into his mouth.“But this time it will not be enough.. I’ve improved… Sovereign upgraded me..”  


Jane’s expression went dark.  


“What have you done?” she asked with sincere disdain “Are you insane? You let Sovereign implant you??” in her anger, she stood up from behind her cover, and turned to face the turian.  


That’s when she noticed.  
  
Saren’s left arm was gone: replaced with a geth-like synthetic arm, with tubes and wires coming from it, ending between his shoulder plates. It was clear that he had implants too. But what changed the most was his face: little machines were peeking through on his mandibles, like little lights in the dark.  


“I suppose I should thank you.” he started “After Virmire… I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. About Sovereign controlling me and indoctrinating me… The thought was eating away at me...” he said without emotion “But Sovereign implanted me to strengthen my resolve!”  


Shepard’s eyes softened.   


His face was ragged, dark of terror, and looked tired. None of the strength he talked about could be seen in his eyes. They were the same bright blue they were before, but there was a certain feel to them that Jane hated.

She didn’t know why, but she wanted to see the old Saren. The one that was alive.  


Saren extended his arms out:  


“I now completely believe in Sovereign” he looked into her eyes “The reapers need humans, and we can show them just that. Together.” he stepped closer suddenly.

“Come with me. We can become the beacons of a new life.” he stepped closer again, and the commander withstood his advance, looking straight into his eyes, without blinking.  


“Organic and machine, flesh and steel...” he took a deep breath “The strengths of both, the weaknesses of neith-”

 

Suddenly, a huge blow landed on Saren’s face, disrupting his balance.  


He tumbled backwards a step. Shepard was standing in front of him, her eyes almost in flames from the deep wrath that took her over. Her hair was flying from the sudden movement as she punched the turian right in the face plates.  


“Even if you offered me the whole Universe on a silver plate” she shouted “I still wouldn’t be that stupid to consider an offer like that!”  


And with that, she was done talking.

She lifted her hand that held her gun, and slammed the barrel of it into his face. The turian reacted quickly, and utilizing his newfound synthetic arm, fired his fist to Shepard’s stomach. The commander fell back, dropping his weapon.  


Garrus and Tali stood up, targeting Saren immediately.  


Jane used her positioning to trip Saren, who also fell on the bridge.  


“Quick, the console!” she called, motioning her head toward the end of the bridge. Tali jumped out of her cover and started running through the pedestal. The bridge was so narrow it did not have a lot of space to move through: the quarian jumped right above the turian, who grabbed her legs and slammed her to the ground. Garrus fired a precision shot right next to Saren’s face on the ground, so he lost his concentration for a second. The quarian kicked his hand off and made her way to the console, and started tapping away at it.  


Shepard and Saren got up in the meantime and they both turned to each other. This time Saren made a move to bring down the commander again. Shepard evaded his move with ease, moving to the side, backing away constantly. She was quick, but Saren wasn’t a spectre for nothing. The fast moves of the commander could not stop the slower, but harder strikes of the turian, who eventually landed a blow. They exchanged multiple punches after that, each one faster than the other.  


And with every second, they fell deeper into their own world: they started responding to each other’s moves fluently, like they were speaking a foreign language: made out of punching, trying to wound one another. Garrus and Tali were tampering with the console in the background, trying to bypass Saren’s code and upload Vigil’s data, but this wasn’t even noise to the two of them. They just fought away, their minds concentrating on beating each other.  


And after jumping back for the hundredth time, panting from the exercise, Jane let out a little smile in the heat of the moment. And to her surprise, Saren didn’t just respond to her moves; he responded now to her smile as well.  


He enjoyed the fight.

“Don’t act like this is the end of the world” she said with a quirky smile “When it is not.”

Saren extended his arm out and dropped the pistol that was in his hand this whole time. He didn’t need it.  


“No it is not” he started “Not if we bow to the reapers.”  


Shepard’s smirk was removed from her face. This time she was the one attacking: trying to land a blow to the turian. And so their dance continued: flowing around each other like water and fire, day and night.  


“You can still make it right!”  


“But the invasion is inevitable!”  


“No! You can fight it!”  


Everything started to blur together as they made war. Her fiery hair touching his face when she moved, his talons ripping into her skin, his blue eyes locking on her eyes in every second. They were tired. Missing the blows, but moving faster, pushing harder, falling deeper.  


“Fight it Saren!!” she screamed, hitting the turian as hard as she could, without any focus, only her resolve remained.  


“I cannot” Saren shouted in anger and desperation. Time stopped passing and now only the pain was left in him. His head was pulsing from the ache that took over it. He lowered his head and backed away.  


“No, please” she called, but as she tried to get closer, Saren lifted his leg and with every possible strength he had left, kicked Jane in the stomach, who fell back behind the railing, slammed to the ground. She screamed from the pain of the fall, but immediately got back up, only to see Saren grabbing the pistol he so hastily threw away.  


“I’m sorry” he whispered, lifting the gun up to his head.  


Inaudible screaming broke from her throat, as she fired herself out from the cover behind the railing. Her mind lost its grip on reality, storming to him, to try to change his mind.  


She can still save him. She must be able to!  


Her red hair flew around her face as she was moving faster than ever, trying to make her way to him. To try to fight him, hit him, to do anything, but she was unable to reach him.  


“It’s too strong” he breathed. He pulled the trigger and the sound of a gunshot bounced back from the walls of the chamber.  


Shepard fell back, freezing in her tracks, shocked from the sight. Saren’s eyes closed, his body fell down the bridge, and broke the glass of the Citadel garden. Shards of glass were flying everywhere, and Jane’s heart leaped.  


She felt a shock that was stronger than any of Saren’s blows, and any of the pain she endured. She couldn’t blink, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move. She returned to the same reality she was in before she touched that beacon on Eden Prime, before she looked into his eyes for the first time.  


She was pushed into a darkness that numbed her brain and limbs… The darkness of solitude, the passing of days and months. The geth attack, the ruins of the Citadel, the face of the Illusive man. Time turned fluid, and as the missions passed she fell into a slumber.

  


_______________________________________________________

  


~3 years later

  


“Commander, it is time.” EDI chirped, her voice filling Shepard’s quarters.  


Jane sat up in her bed, heavily breathing, like she was frightened by the sound. The sheets were all tossed around the bed, she was all curled up in them.  


Saren? Why was she dreaming with with him now?  


“Thank you” she exhaled “How close are we?”  


“The Namakli is an hour away, we already located Dr. Bryson’s dig site” said EDI.  


“Good job” she noted and slowly proceeded to pick up her armor and get ready for the mission. But her dream was still in her mind.  


Years passed since Saren died on the Citadel, and a lot has happened since then. And she wasn’t bored: the reapers finally managed to start their invasion and the cure for the Genophage was right in the making. While Mordin prepared the cure, they decided to take up the next lead in their pursuit of Leviathan: Dr. Ann Bryson’s dig site was just now an hour away and she hoped the doctor would have some answers for the questions this Leviathan brought up. A reaper that destroys the reapers… might be their ticket to winning this war.

 

She reinforced her armor on her sides.

Maybe this will bring something new.

  



	5. Derelict

“This is one of the dig sites of Dr. Bryson’s investigations” explained EDI as she walked back and forth on the shuttle, looking at the ragged, tired commander who was staring off into the distance. Her new N7 armor had already collected some cracks on Menae, and her face was paler than ever before. “Her daughter, Ann, has recently uncovered another artifact.”

“Yeah” growled Garrus in his usual voice, sitting next to his commander “No wonder the reapers are here.”

Shepard did not join in the conversation.  
She was barely there to be honest.

Since she was brought back to life, she was somewhat different, quieter, more refrained. Back then, before missions, she would spend long hours discussing tactics and messing around with the crew, joking even in the shuttle to set a light, amusing tone to every mission.  
But that was not the case anymore.  
She was still Shepard, Garrus knew that, but it was only a shadow of her. And no matter what he tried, he could not cheer up his commander. She was only happy when she was fighting.

“Be prepared for anything.” Jane finally spoke, her voice distant “I’ve got a strange feeling about this dig site.”

Cortez started radioing the doctor, but there was no reply, only static noise. The reapers made damn sure no one could get out there alive.

“We’re here” he pointed out, opening the shuttle doors.  
Strong wind mixed with sand filled the vehicle’s still air and the ground team spotted a woman in one of the buildings on the site: it was the young doctor, radioing for help:

“Attention Shuttle, this is Ann Bryson, we’re under attack!!” she shouted into the comms.

“Shit” Shepard cursed, turning around to tell Cortez to put the shuttle down so they can pick her up. The reapers were already here.

Suddenly the shuttle was too attacked from above - a harvester slammed itself into them, crushing them almost.

“Commander I can’t land there, there’s too much!”

“OK” Shepard turned around “Ground team, we’re going down, and round her up from the lower platforms!” she gave her orders, and once Cortez landed out of the hot zone, they started making their way up to Ann’s location.

They moved fast and efficiently, wiping every husk in their way, climbing further up; but it was all hollow in Jane’s mind. The last three years felt like she was watching a movie of herself: paying the ticket, going to see the thing, but never really participating in it. She lost two years of her life… that she’s never going to get back.

The cybernetics will never disappear from her body.

 

“Thank God, you came!” exhaled Dr. Bryson when they found her hiding at the top building of the facility. They immediately started to reach the shuttle and clear out a way for Cortez “I was at another site when...this attack happened.” she continued “What happened here?”

“I understand you found something… right?” they looked at each other “The reapers want the artifact.”

“It’s here” she motioned and they got around the rock formation.Just at the landing pad, they noticed it: the small globe was hugged by the rocks. A strange, unsettling darkness twirled and twisted inside of it.

The reaper marauders clearly activated it, and were interacting with the globe in some strange way.

“Spirits” Garrus whispered as he looked up at the doctor, who stood up from their cover and started making her way to the relic.

“They learn too well” a strange voice erupted from her “The darkness must not be breached!”  
“EDI!” Shepard shouted, and EDI raised her weapon to shoot. She just pulled the trigger and the artifact was destroyed.

And in that moment, everything has changed for Shepard.

A thunderous sound erupted from the sky, stopping the whole team in their tracks, rumbling through the air. She turned to the direction of the sound, her eyes firing up already, as she knew very well what that was.  
A colossal, destroyer-class reaper has turned up from the blue. Every step it made with its squid like claws shaked the ground beneath them. The reaper soon towered over them like a monument, as a shadow crawling on their lives.

“Cortez!” Shepard screamed into her comms angrily, and with the speed of a rocket, grabbed the doctor and started to run along the cliff to try and escape the horror.

[I have to go around Commander, if I fly into its sensors it’ll burn the shuttle] informed the lieutenant. She ran as fast as she could with the squad behind her, as the reaper landed its first claw on the cliffside.

A quake ran through the rocks again, and they heard the reaper focusing its targeting sensors.

“There!” EDI called and pointed into a small cave within the rock formations, hasting the group behind her “We might escape through here!”

Jane looked at the little hole between the rocks, and the darkness inside. It was a very narrow tunnel, leading to who knows where.

“Where does it end? Do you know this route?” she asked the doctor who was still in shock from the reaper and the artifact:

“It leads to the top of the cliff, you can see the whole canyon from there..”

“That’s our ticket out” she smiled, quickly glancing at the reaper and then the doctor.

“Cortez, you heard it, meet us at the top, on the double!” she ordered and after a positive answer from the lieutenant, she quickly gave the doctor to Garrus, who was already reaching his hands out to take the poor woman. He was a turian after all, could carry her better.  
Shepard then looked into his friend’s eyes and grabbed his shoulder, bringing him closer.

“You go in there, meet Cortez at the top” she hissed “I’ll make sure the beast won’t focus on you” with her eyes she motioned on the trail that ran through the side of the cliff, through the remains of the offices and other facilities built around the dig site.

“No way” a low rumble emanated from Garrus’s throat as his expression became dark, almost scolding “Don’t do it!”

Jane didn’t say a word and just left them where they were.

“I cannot believe this woman!” cursed the turian, but they had to enter the tunnel.

Shepard made her way to the stairs that went up to another level of the site, and stood at the railing right near the edge, and looked at the reaper. She leaned over the edge of the railing, and started waving her hands to make sure the monstrocity follows her and not the others.  
It worked - the machine seemed to go at anything that was moving, even though the artifact was already destroyed. The reaper stopped for a moment and opened its plates around its cannon, and after a moment of delay, a beam of laser shot out, right at Shepard.

The commander never started running so fast as she did now. The plan was too successful and the beam was way too close to get away in time: she jumped into the first building and then the second building. The fire of the reaper followed her as the laser ripped through the hillside, consuming everything it left behind. She almost felt the heat on her back, and the waves of shock started sucking her shields. She pushed further and further, all her focus being put into the effort of drawing the reaper away from the objective. As she passed through the buildings and stairs and pathways, jumping through rubble and debris, she had less and less nav space, slowing her down. The beam ripped apart the hillside at that point and was right on her shields, frying her armor - then it stopped suddenly.

Something shook the whole site - rubble falling from the cliffs and she lost her footing, falling down a set of stairs.

She looked up and what she saw was a sight never before seen.

Another reaper appeared. A colossal, damaged, ancient machine with giant craters and dust on it fired itself on top of the other reaper. The two bodies collided in a split second, creating a shockwave, sending her back to the ground. She was almost at the top of the cliff, with only an old ladder separating her from her destination. The wrecked, old reaper forced itself on its counterpart, trying to push it to the brim.

This reaper wasn’t like any of the others: it was old as time, almost in pieces. It looked like it had been sleeping for thousands of years, and was lifted just now from the depths of earth. The dirt was covering it like an armor, and the sun had sucked its original dark colour grey through the years. It’s joints were loud, and felt like they would fall apart any moment, but it commended a strange respect.

It looked like a derelict reaper.

A shiver ran down her spine.

She stood up, and used this distraction as an opportunity to reach the ladder that led up, and crawled on the top of the cliff. She spotted the shuttle on the far end, and waved to the others, her voice cracking as she destroyed the comms with her shouting:

“GO” EDI noticed her, and looked in her direction “GO!”  
EDI opened her mouth to speak as Garrus helped the doctor onto the shuttle, but her movement stopped suddenly, her eyes widened, and she instinctively grabbed the turian’s shoulder plates.

Shepard was running to them in the distance, and with her, an enormous shadow rose from the depths of the valley. Two reapers emerged in a fragment of a moment, falling on top of each other, grinding down the terrain in their path. The ground separated under Jane’s feet who was sprinting to the other side.

EDI started pushing her mates in the shuttle to protect Dr. Bryson. She saw Shepard running for her life: sprinting in the sand and rocks, two monsters crashing down behind her back.

A sound emanated from the ancient machine, and they all covered their ears, Shepard almost falling. The sound was similar to the cries of the reapers, but had a very different undertone.

A very familiar, cold tone.

“ **Jane** ” she heard, only vaguely, but in her mind it was crystal clear.

The commander’s body twitched, and without thinking for a second, she turned around and faced the reapers behind her. The two bodies slammed to the ground, a cloud of smoke and sand arose, covering the sun for her for a second. The sandstorm covered the commander as well, and the team had lost sight of her.

The ancient reaper opened its plates to reveal its firing chamber, almost as if snarling at its enemy.  
It had a bright, icy blue coloured core.

Shepard instantly froze. That colour...

The ragged reaper pushed the other down, slammed its legs into its core, and with a deafening, screeching sound, ripped apart the face of its victim. The metal was screaming in protest - the old one was a weak, unstable structure, and as it tore through the heart of its enemy, it destroyed itself as well. Giant wires tore from its metal joints, firing electricity everywhere. The metal broke apart like dust as all its power was focused into demolishing its brother.  
And then, after a final, devastating rip, the core of the devoured reaper broke apart, releasing its heart. An explosion of fire and burning metal lit up the cliff, and the heat brushed Jane away.

   
  


* * *

  
  


Quiet voices echoed in the distance.

“Shepard”  
“She’s bleeding, we need to get her on the ship-”  
“She’s waking up-”  
“Shepard?”

She was lying in the dirt, she could smell the burning sand. She opened her eyes to see cloudy figures kneeling above her, and their voices only rang in her ear for a good minute. She wanted to remove her helmet, but it was stuck on her, pulling on her skin.

“Slowly” Garrus hushed as he landed a hand and gradually separated the helmet from her head. Her temple was covered in blood, a small piece of one of the reapers pierced into her skin. “EDI, radio the normandy, we need to take Shepard to Chakwas” he said and moved her to his lap to support her head.

“I’m fine” she said, twinkling her eyes as she saw the blood dripping into her field of vision. Then it hit her.

“The reaper!” Jane shot herself up, pushing Garrus down and immediately making her way to wherever. She jumped up on her feet, falling down immediately, and then getting back up again. Her sides were killing her, she could feel the burn between her ribs, the stickiness of her armor, but she had no time.  
She needed to see.  
She needed to make sure.

She went into the dust that was still surrounding the reaper corpses. She looked for the ancient reaper, she looked for the blue light, the one that called her name. She brushed her hands to the sides of the machines as she made her way deeper in. She stepped over many parts and avoided many hanging cables, and passed into many holes in their bodies. The whole thing was still on fire, but she kept looking. After seeing that blue light, for the first time in years, she felt alive.  
She needed to find the source.

As she ventured deep under the rubble, the noise of the fire subsided. It was replaced with a low, quiet humming, a strange feeling of stillness. She felt like she was surrounded by ghosts: the thick smoke disappeared, and the air became lighter. It reminded her of Ilos - the quiet, still doom of the chambers of the long dead protheans.

She spotted something in the rubble, in the remains of a small, ancient chamber of some sort.

It was a hand. A grey plated hand, with three talons.

She rounded the corner with haste and fell on her knees, as she set her eyes on the male lying down there. The tall, masculine turian laid on his back, his eyes shut. He had no face painting and dirt was covering him all over, but she recognized him: his grey, almost white plates, his slender mandibles and characteristic face.

She reached out a hand and checked for his pulse. She felt the blood rushing in his veins. He was still alive.  
Could he be….?

She removed her gloves and slowly, just lightly, touched his face.

It was cold, but warm at the same time. A strange sensation started in her fingers, as she brushed them over his forehead.  
The turian’s eyes snapped wide open, and Jane’s heart leaped. The same, bright blue set of eyes stared at her as the ones that had closed before her for the last time.

“Saren” she whispered slowly, barely audible, not moving. She wasn’t afraid, but she was startled. Millions of thoughts raced through her mind in a second, but all was wiped away by the shape of his eyes, his nose, the bright blue shade that stared at her coldly, and the clean scent that lingered around him.

It was him, she knew.

His eyes closed down as he lost his consciousness again.

“Shepard, what are you -” Garrus came on the corner, trying to round up her wounded commander to bring to the Normandy that arrived in the meantime.  
But his words trapped in his throat as he laid his eyes upon the turian on the floor.

He immediately raised his rifle, pointing it right at Saren, and with slow, cautious steps he came forward.

“Is that-” he exhaled. “He looks just like Saren..” he said, lowering his weapon as he noticed the turian was unconscious. He lowered himself to them, checking his pulse.

“It is him” Jane stated with confidence, a strange look on her face.

“Spirits Jane, he’s alive” he hummed, and a low growl started in his chest. His expression was now dark, and his jaw tensed. He removed his pistol from its holder on his lower back, and pointed it at Saren’s chin. His talons tensed around the handle of the gun “We can’t have this starting all over again” he growled, as he thought about the time he was still alive.

“No, Garrus!” Jane’s voice was now like thunder, her eyes almost setting on fire from the passion, catching his hand and removing it from Saren’s face. “We are not killing him.”

“What?” he snarled “Why?”

“I want to know how he’s alive - and what’s he doing.”

“Are you shitting me? Shepard, this is Saren Arterius!” he pointed at him, now angry “What do you think he’s going to do?”

Shepard moved his hand under the still unconscious Saren’s neck, trying to lift him.

“This was an order, Garrus, now help me, we’re bringing him to the Normandy.” she lifted the turian’s upper body, but he was too heavy, and Jane was already wounded.

“What? You can’t possibly-”

“Garrus” she started, now looking at his friend “Where should we leave him then? If we kill him now, we’ll never know what happened here or why he helped us. We do not know his motives either, so if we leave him here, then congratulations, we have a Saren to catch again.” she took a deep breath to emphasize her logic further “If we take him to the Normandy, we can observe him and control him.”

Garrus took a second to digest what she said, then lowered his pistol.

“I’m keeping my eye on him” he stated, and then proceeded to help Jane lift the turian.


	6. Guest

 

 

Heavy footsteps pushed to the flooring of the ship as Jane entered the Normandy’s shuttle bay. As the hangar door closed, she took a last look at the two now dead reaper corpses burning on the cliff. She then looked at Garrus, carrying the giant turian on board. Time almost stopped for her.

Her head was pounding, and every move was suffering. Her ears still rang, and her lungs were struggling for air. As the wound on her side was burning like hell, her vision became more blurry with each step she took. Nonetheless, she acted like nothing had happened, and did not move from next to Garrus, squeezing her gun in her hand, like she is expecting an attack.   
  


He was here, and he will not be taken away this time.   
  


Half the crew gathered at the bay to welcome the commander, including Dr. Chakwas, Mordin and Liara. They did not expect what they saw. When Mordin spotted Saren, he immediately turned around, speaking hastily into his comms, but Jane could not hear it, it was distant, and vague. Chakwas came over to her and grabbed her arms, leading her towards the elevator.

Garrus asked something - something about where to put the turian - and she instructed the med-bay, under strict supervision.   
  


Then everything went blank.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Is she going to be alright?” Liara asked the doctor, standing above Shepard who was lying in her bed in her quarters. Dr. Chakwas just finished patching up her sides after her temples. “Is it serious?”   
  


“Nah, she’ll be fine, but only if she rests” she smiled at the asari “She’s lucky her helmet was on. It protected her eardrums from the sound of the blast, and her lungs are also in good condition. But she needs to rest, her side and her temple were pierced by some fragments of the reapers. Her head will be okay, but if she doesn’t stay put, her sides might give her trouble... Otherwise, her cybernetics are working diligently.”   
  


“That’s good” she said, visibly feeling better.   
  


“Yes. Considering she was not far from blowing up herself… This woman just can’t take care… Say Liara, where is Garrus?” she just finished with the commander and lifted the blanket onto her.   
  


“He’s down with S-” she coughed “Down in the med-bay. He would not move away from that.. Beast.” It was clear that Liara did not like this at all, and even the thought of Saren creeped her out. No wonder, their greatest enemy was suddenly alive, and on their ship.   
  


“I can’t believe it” Liara continued “He died.. How is this even possible...”   
  


“Well, if you think about it, Cerberus resurrected Jane here” she looked down on her commander, passed out in the bed “And they did it because Jane is a symbol of hope. Her mere presence has become a beacon of some sort. I can imagine someone doing the same for Saren, for the opposite reason.”   
  


“I have to... find out... ” came a quiet whisper from the bed, and they both saw Jane open her eyes. She raised herself on her elbows, and lifted her hand to her temple. “Oh lord, my head is splitting in two!”   
  


“Commander, you should get some rest” the doctor insisted, turning to her.   
  


“I’ll sleep when I’m dead!” she called out, now sitting up and removing the blanket. “Where is Dr. Bryson?”   
  


“She’s with EDI on the bridge” Liara said “We’ll have to arrange transportation for her so she can reach the Citadel after we’re done here.”   
  


“We’re done here. EDI!” Shepard looked up “Have someone pick Dr. Bryson up, and once that is done, set a course for Tuchanka - I’ll figure Saren out in the meantime.” she now stood up and left her bed, reaching for some proper clothes.   
  


“Shepard” Liara was visibly worried about her commander, and started fidgeting in nervousness “I don’t think this is a good idea.”   
  


“It’s not” she agreed, while putting on a jumper “But it’s the best we have.” And with that, she made it clear that the conversation was over. She walked out of her cabin, not caring for the fact she left them there alone. As the door opened, she looked back with a smile:

“Thanks, doctor!” she waived at Chakwas and disappeared into the elevator.   
  
  


 

She pressed the button to go to the crew’s quarters, and set her back to the wall of the elevator. Her head was still spinning but she felt a lot better.   
  


No, that was a lie.   
  


Her legs now started to give in. She was more than frustrated, and all she could think of was the turian in the medical bay. She felt a very strange, sad nostalgia suddenly, and all her mind revolved around was the sight of shattering glass, flying in the air the day Saren died. She remembered the feeling, the shock of seeing him shoot himself, his last words. It still haunted her, but now it felt like it was yesterday. It all felt like it was happening again, like all this time she was just sleeping, taking a nap.   
  


A gruesome, dark reality hit her suddenly, but she felt more awake than ever before. The elevator ride ended, and she made the first move, and turned to the med-bay’s door. Everything felt slow, and heavy, the air barely passed through her lungs. She could feel her own heartbeat.   
  


Maybe, she wasn’t the only one who survived.   
  


She opened the door, and the med-bay was revealed. She stepped in. Garrus was standing in the corner, rifle in his hands, like a guardian. His eyes were fixed on the silhouette lying in the far end of the room, not moving an inch.   
  


“You ready?” he asked quietly, still looking at the turian.   
  


Jane did not answer.   
  


“Where’s Eve and Mordin?” she asked.   
  


“Mordin took her to another cabin to rest, he did not want to have Eve in the same room as our guest, which I understand, considering the fact that if Wrex learns this, she’ll rip your gut out..”   
  


“Good, I would have ordered the same thing” she nodded “And I’ll deal with Wrex. Now, you can leave us, I’ll try and… wake him up.”   
  


“Shepard, I’m not going anywhere” Garrus said without hesitation “You don’t even have armor on, and we have no idea who this really is.” Shepard knew this was not a request, it was the cold truth. She sighed.   
  


“All right.”   
  


And with that, it was done. She slowly walked over to the bed in the far corner, and looked at the turian. He was lying on his back, undisturbed. His face was tired looking: his plates were pale as ever, but the skin around his eyes was darker, as if he had no sleep for a long time. There was something else that was different - his geth arm was missing. Both of his hands looked the same to her now, she wasn’t sure how that happened.   
  


She gathered herself together, and without touching him, she called:   
  


“Saren! Wake up!” His brow-plates moved, then his eyes opened.   
  


Garrus had to squeeze his rifle and try his best not to shoot him straight away, Saren moved so fast. He jumped up on the bed, practically falling down from it, and immediately reaching for the commander, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her to the wall.   
  


“Stop right there!” Garrus shouted, disrupting the turian.   
  


Shepard let out a small groan as her back hit the wall, and she found herself looking straight into Saren’s eyes. She could see the surprise in them: he was confused, his instincts acting in him as self defense. His taloned hands held a tight grip on her arms, towering over her.   
  


“It’s me” she whispered “Jane Shepard. You’re on the Normandy.”   
  


The predator-like look softened in his eyes, and his grip loosened a bit. He took a moment, and his harsh hands slowly slid down on the arms of the commander.   
  


He was on the Normandy…

He looked up again.   
  


The first things he could properly see after the bloodrush subsided in his mind were two jewels. Two blue, silverish jewels, and as he looked into them, somehow Palaven’s waters came into his mind. Glasses shattering, a scream in his mind. But it wasn’t Palaven, nor the past, that he saw. They were two eyes, two very familiar set of eyes, with long lashes. His vision started clearing out, and he started to see the face - ashy pale skin and long, fiery red hair cascading down. No armor, just a jumper, and the fresh scent of her skin - sweet cherries.   
  


“Jane” he exhaled, removing his grip from her arms, stepping back.   
  


Garrus twitched for a second, hearing him call her by her first name.   
  


“Are you who I think you are?” asked Jane as she crossed her arms and leaned on her left leg. She seemed to be put together on the first look, but her heart rate was crazy, and the patch on her temple indicated she was injured.   
  


“Are you?” was all he replied.   
  


“Believe it or not” she started, stepping closer “You’re on my ship. And on my ship, I don’t have to prove myself, am I right, Garrus?”   
  


“Yup” sounded a voice from the other end of the room. Saren coldly glanced in that direction, only briefly, then his gaze returned to Shepard. The sheer presence of this turian indicated to him that she was the real thing. The Shepard he fought against was known to never make a step without his turian sniper - it would only make sense that he’s here now as well.   
  


“Who are you?” Shepard asked again.   
  


“I am Saren Arterius.” he said, frustrated, still scanning the room.   
  


“Prove it” she demanded.   
  


Typical.   
  


“ _ You can’t catch me _ .” he hummed without a second of hesitation, stepping closer to her. His figure was giant compared to Jane’s, who had to jerk her neck to keep eye contact.

She knew that this was Saren even before this, his eyes told everything to her, but this just confirmed it. This was the message she received after she started her pursuit of Saren.   
  


“How are you alive?” she asked with genuine curiosity, as the turian turned away.   
  


“I was… reconstructed...” he savored the word “...by the reapers.” He looked deep into her eyes, and only then continued “You are something the reapers never seen before. An anomaly. They don’t just simply want to destroy you, they want to wipe away your existence and the meaning it represents to the galaxy. And I am your omega.”   
  


He stopped. His words penetrated deep into Jane’s mind, and they rang true.

Saren was the only person, ever, who had represented the reapers and had a personality. He was an individual people recognized: the favourite, brutal spectre turned to destroy the universe. His name bore the same significance as Jane’s; but with opposite meaning. His return would be paralyzing for the galaxy.   
  


“I don’t remember a lot of it” he continued, slowly making his way into his memories “But I know I’m not a clone. When I died, Sovereign somehow captured something from me.”   
  


“You mean -” she said “Your essence.”   
  


“Like the Collectors did with the colonists” inserted Garrus.   
  


“I know I am me, I heard them talking” Saren looked at his hands “They used the information from Sovereign’s data banks to rebuild me, but with reaper technology. They are able to extract data from everything they control, and reconstruct it, shape it, collect it. That is how reapers are made.” he looked up, his cold gaze softening for a second “I cannot hear them anymore. My mind is my own, but I am somehow one of them now.”   
  


Silence.   
  


“I escaped from them in a ship, but crashed somehow. Then the only thing I remember is the feeling, coming from the dig site - it was like indoctrination, but it did not have any effect on me. It just needed me to go” he said, deep in his thoughts. This was the first time Jane seen his face like this: deeply in concentration, not understanding what had happened.

A Saren that was trying to piece together reality was a strange sight for her.   
  


“That was Leviathan’s signal” added Jane.   
  


“Then I found this corpse - the reaper you saw, and I knew I had to move, you were all in danger.”   
  


“Wait-” came a surprised growl from Garrus “You were the one piloting that derelict reaper?”   
  


Saren stepped backwards, crossing his arms, as his grip on reality became stronger with every minute.   
  


“Yes. It was a derelict reaper corpse. It had somehow responded to me, and so I took the opportunity.”   
  


“But why did you help us?” Jane asked with genuine curiosity.   
  


“Jane, the reapers have come - and I never repeat my mistakes.” he said with cold confidence “Whatever they planned to do with me backfired. They wanted to use me against you - but I don’t intend on helping the machines destroy our civilization anymore.”   
  


Garrus started laughing. There was no way that the Saren they knew was going to help them.   
  


“You’ve got to be kidding me-”   
  


Saren’s eyes fixed on the turian, and he slowly but surely made his way to Garrus. They now stood face to face, inches from each other. Saren was taller then Garrus, but he didn’t back down. Garrus stood his gaze, and Shepard could feel the tension building between these two.   
  


“Listen Vakarian,” he started aggressively “You would do damn well to stay silent and drop your ego a bit. If you could use your brain, for just a second, you’d already know that I am possibly the biggest weapon you all can ever have against the reapers. You don’t understand them. Having someone who is like them is our only option in winning this war!”   
  


Jane didn’t like this. They already looked like two hounds, ready to tear each other apart.   
  


“Not if you kill us all in our sleep. Why should we trust you?” snarled Garrus, a low growl starting in his chest, his talons digging into the handle of his rifle.   
  


“You’ve got a problem with me?” provoked Saren, snarling, his teeth almost showing.   
  
  


“Enough!”  Jane was standing right next to them now, her eyes beaming with anger. “If you plan on fighting in the med-bay, I will toss you both out of the airlock right now, and all our problems will be solved.” she said with passion, her eyes darting back and forth between the two turians.   
  


“Mordin will examine Saren, and see if any of this is true.” she decided “EDI!”   
  


 

* * *

  
  
  


The salarian doctor was a strange creature.

He performed scan after scan after scan, but there wasn’t a moment where he was afraid of Saren. He was hustling around him like he was no different than any other soldier on the ship, and did not seem bothered by the possible reaper technology in their med-bay - the opposite in fact - he was singing a little song under his nose quietly, and was constantly amazed by the scan results.   
  


“How long is this going to last?” Saren asked, with not a small amount of annoyance in his rough voice. These scans creeped him out a ton and he’d rather be over with them as soon as possible.   
  


“Almost done” the doctor answered, not leaving his work for a second.   
  


Saren looked at the corner where Jane was standing not long ago. She was just as small and just as collected as she was before: or at least compared to what he had seen from her back then. She had some effect on him: she wasn’t as annoying as the humans he met so far, he didn’t actually want to scratch his eyes out when she spoke, and that was a huge accomplishment. A strange uneasiness went through him as he thought about her, and he wasn’t sure why.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Are you fucking crazy?” Garrus dropped his gun on the table at the mess hall, which was empty at the time. His mandibles were clicking in anger as he turned to face Shepard. “He can’t be trusted! Especially not now! We have reapers swarming everywhere, we don’t need one on our own ship!”   
  


“Garrus, he piloted a derelict reaper to save our asses!” she was visibly angry at this point “I have no idea how he did it, but he saved us all. If he is capable of things like this, I say he belongs in our team more than ever. We need an ally like this!”   
  


“Oh spirits” he sighed, moving his hand to his forehead, looking at his commander “And if it is just a trap? What if he’s still indoctrinated and that is why he could control the reaper? What if he’s here to help us only to turn on us at the right moment?”   
  


“He’s not.” was all she said, confident determination in her eyes. Garrus’ look softened a bit, and he lowered his voice.   
  


“How do you know?”   
  


Shepard new this was the truth. Every atom in her body told her that this is the right thing to do. She wasn’t sure how, but her gut feeling was so strong it gave her anxiety. If she were in Saren’s place, she would have done the same.   
  


“I just.. know” she said softly “Everything I am tells me that we need to do this. Not to mention that his whole life got fucked up by the reapers… it’s logical he wants to fight them when he’s not indoctrinated!”   
  


The turian smiled.   
  


“All right, Jane” he gave in, and put his gloved talons on Jane’s shoulders. He trusted his commander with his life, and this time was no exception. He then proceeded to say:    
  


“... But if he tries anything, I will tear him apart.”   
  
  


“Commander, the scans are ready” came a very fast paced sentence from the med-bay door, Mordin looking out, and disappearing into the room. Shepard and Garrus shared a quick glance, then followed the doctor.   
  


“Incredible!” he started, his scientific excitement going off the charts “Never seen before, synthesis of organic and machine, much like reaper structure! Metal skeleton, but most organs are fully organic. Cybernetics present in all joints and the whole nervous system.”   
  


“Mordin” Shepard put a hand over her face “Slower please.”   
  


“Yes, apologies, very interesting discovery” he inhaled a large breath, closing his eyes, preparing to make his way through his statement a bit slower. “He seems to be half organic and half synthetic, the synthetic part being reaper technology. I have cross-examined his DNA with the DNA the old Saren Arterius provided in the Spectre databanks-”   
  


“I destroyed that archive, that’s impossible.” interrupted Saren.   
  


“The salarian STG has more information that you might know” said Mordin with an all-knowing glance. Saren did not like this.   
  


“Did they match?” asked Garrus.   
  


“They did.” Mordin nodded at Garrus, who was at this point already looking at Shepard. She was silent, drinking every word of the doctor. Mordin continued “He seems to have every memory of his past as a spectre. In addition, his brain waves are a bit different than regular turian waves, but are not considered alien. He can produce infrasound, but seems to be indifferent to it, possibly because of the metal skeleton blocking incoming low frequencies. Advise to keep him here, fight reapers - interesting outcomes, unforseen reaper casualties.”   
  


Infrasound. Shepard swallowed her nerves as a feeling of ease went through her body. Infrasound was the frequency of the reapers… the sound of their cries have all been observed to happen on low frequencies.   
  


“You don’t respond to indoctrination” she said it out loud, carelessly letting her curiosity show. She was looking directly at Saren, like the others weren’t even there. “And that will win us a war.”    
  


Saren also looked at her, and their eyes met. A strange feeling ran through him, as he saw something familiar: a small smile on Jane’s face, a little smirk, that signaled a victory on its own.

  
  
  


**[Commander, we have a problem-]** Joker shouted from the comms, and not a second after he got cut out, the Normandy took a U turn and the whole med-bay sloped suddenly down. Almost all of them fell on the ground, tumbling to the walls and the beds.   
  


“JOKER, What is going on?” screamed Shepard, trying to stand up.   
  


[Reapers!] came from the comms, and Shepard looked up at Saren.   
  


What a timing..

 

 


	7. Alliance

 

 

“Fuck!” Shepard cursed, firing her fist into elevator console. Before the doors could close, Saren jumped in, and grabbed her by the shoulder, turning them as they went, so he could face her, keeping her still by the her arms.   
  


“What are you doing?” Jane shouted. The door closed and the elevator started to rise with them in it.   
  


“Jane, the cannons” he called hastily “I don’t know how many there are, but if you fire the cannon now, it will draw in more reapers.”   
  


“How do you know that?” she asked, as the ship took another turn, the force kicking them off of their feet. Saren slapped his hand to the wall to adapt, and grabbed her waist instinctively, to avoid her falling too. As they found their balance, he started explaining rapidly:   
  


“The reapers use quantum entanglement to communicate, at least Sovereign had done so” he said, his face only inches away from hers “They exchange data at a rate we can’t adapt to - the more you resist, the more likely they’ll call others here too, and we’re not supposed to be in this system at all!” his voice was rough and resonant. She could feel the rumbling in his chest as he spoke, since he was still holding her.   
  


“Let me go!” she said, slapping his hands off of her. The elevator doors opened, and they found themselves in the CIC. She went through the bridge like lightning, sliding into the cockpit and grabbing Joker’s chair.   
  


“Status report!”   
  


“One reaper ship caught sight of us” explained Joker “Now on escape trajectory.” said Joker, looking up for just a second, but enough to spot Saren entering the cockpit as well. “WHAT THE-”   
  


“Keep this pace, Joker!” Shepard ordered, ignoring the obvious surprise on the pilot’s face. “And forget the cannons, we need to escape as fast as possible!”   
  


“Aye-Aye” he acknowledged, a strange look on his face. He knew about Saren already, but he wasn’t expecting the guest so soon within his territory…   
  


“It’s Harbinger” came from behind Shepard’s back. Saren was looking at the floor, his eyes fixated on his on foot, like he was in the middle of something. What was happening here? Was he sensing the reapers now? He could communicate with them? Why didn’t he say so? Also, why the hell did he touch her in the elevator?? “Jane, switch to stealth mode, it’ll lose sight of us.” he said.   
  


“Do it Joker” she said with confidence, not a moment of hesitation.    
  


After a few short minutes, they were out of the hot zone.   
  


“I think we’re good” sighed Joker.   
  


“Great work” the commander tapped his chair “Keep this up and let me know an hour before we reach the relay.”   
  


“Will do!” he said, still conscious about the turian behind him. He looked at EDI, who stayed silent for now - probably for a good reason. Then, Joker heard a noise and had to turn around again. All he could see was a swift movement, as Shepard slammed Saren to the side of the cockpit, the metal almost crying out behind his back. The turian let out a surprised “umpf” sound, not expecting the sudden attack.   
  


Silence filled the whole bridge, and Jane felt it, everyone was looking at them.   
  


“What the hell was that?” Her hands were so tiny compared to Saren’s, but her deft fingers held him firmly pressed to the wall. “I am the commanding officer here, and I would very much like to have your head right now for your move in the elevator!” she threatened violently.   
  


Saren grabbed her wrists and just like how she pushed him to the wall, he pushed her away with one sudden movement.   
  


“And I should tear you apart for attacking me like this” he said, his voice thick with anger and surprise, loudly ringing through the whole bridge. His teeth were almost showing, his talons clenched into fists.   
  


“Spare me your threats” she snapped back, not showing any sign of fear.   
  


“ _ RAAAWRR _ ” hissed Joker in a high pitched voice, like a cat, turning around with his chair, already amused by the sight. Saren spared only a fragment of the moment to look at the pilot:   
  


_ What is wrong with this man _ , he thought.   
  


“How did you know it was Harbinger” she asked with a tone so unsettling, it did not even sound like a question, but more like a demand.   
  


“I have their technology in me” he explained, still showing his teeth “What did you expect?”   
  


Shepard stepped closer, their gazes met.   
  


Garrus just arrived on the bridge, when he spotted both of them, standing in front of each other like they were going to start a fight right then and there. They looked almost like a painting to him: a giant, pale monster and a small, fiery demon just a moment before jumping at each other’s throats.   
  


Instead, Jane leaned in closer, and in front of the the crew, she only said:   
  


“More respect to the spectre who saved your sorry ass from indoctrination” and without waiting for a reply, she stormed off. At the elevator, she stepped onto the CIC, and looked at the whole crew:   
  


“I expect you all not to wreak havoc on each other” her eyes sparked like firecrackers “Saren remains here until our situation is resolved, as the war effort will need him. If anyone has any problems, you can talk to me, but I expect you to work together. Everything we know depends on this.” and with that, she turned around and drove the elevator up.   
  


Saren immediately followed Shepard, and as the elevator returned, he disappeared too.   
  


The baffled silence the crew was left in, was broken by Joker, who pointed at the floor where Shepard just stormed off from the bridge “Oh no” he sighed.   
  


A trail of fresh, crimson blood led from the cockpit down to the elevator.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  


To say Saren’s blood was boiling was an understatement. He still couldn’t even believe how angry this little woman made him. Her composure and temperament was something that resembled turian women… He never expected to be pushed to a wall just in the heat of the moment, and never by a human.

Her wrath was so intense, he could swear he smelled her blood… at this point he was on this ship for a bit more than an hour, and he was already baffled by her persona. He regretted thinking he didn’t hate her.   
  


The elevator door swooshed open, and he saw the commander’s door was just about to close. He took a long, precise step and jerked his foot into the door, and the sensor opened it back up. He stepped into her cabin.   
  


“Jane” he called her name coldly, angrily, not stopping as he made his way to her.   
  


She was standing near her bed, just turning to see what happened as he entered. She saw the turian, and immediately moved her hand to her side, taking a defensive position with the other.   
  


“Hey, this is-”   
  


“Shut up” he snapped, grabbing her by the shoulders. He did not lift her up, or shake her body, but his grip was strong enough to startle her. He showed all his wrath: “I am not some slave of yours to push around as you please. And the next time you dare attack me, you can be damn sure I will put you down!” his pale plates and the look in his eyes portrayed an almost demonic picture. At this point if Shepard had any doubts about him being the real Saren: they were all gone now. This was Saren: the violent, cold, proud spectre, who would bear no one ordering him around.   
  


But all it did was light up a fire in Jane.   
  


“We can play this threat game as long as you like, I’m all up for it… But if you come into my quarters without an invite…” she hissed, but her voice became weaker with every word, and Saren saw her lose the colour from her face “You will be…”   
  


A look of genuine surprise appeared on the turian’s face, as he saw her pupils dilate, and her eyes closing. She became so pale so suddenly, she almost looked white. Her legs gave in, her hands let go of his shoulders; the commander started collapsing right under his hands.   
  


He didn’t let her go, and instinctively, his left hand moved to the small of her back, the other catching her shoulders. Her head fell into the crook of his shoulder as he caught her, slowly, safely lowering themselves onto the ground. Her legs hit the floor, and he found himself sitting on the ground with a passed out Jane in his arms.   
  


For a moment, he forgot to react.

The sweet cherry scent of her blood and skin covered him, and her red hair fell onto his chest plate, tickling his skin.   
  


“Jane, get it together!” he whispered, as he examined her with his eyes, trying to find the source of the problem. It didn’t take long: her jumper was covered in blood on her left side, from a recent wound. Happened probably at the same time as the wound on her head.   
  


“Argh” he growled, trying to remember the name of the VI of the ship - he knew Shepard called it before, but the name was just not coming into his mind. E… ED… “EDI!”   
  


“Dr. Chakwas is already on her way” chirped EDI.   
  


“I told her to stay put!” came the doctor, just opening the door and rushing in. She kneeled down as well and took the commander from Saren.   
  


“What is wrong with her?” he asked, not knowing the severity of her injuries.   
  


“Nothing you should be worried about” she spat “Now leave us, she will be fine… ”   
  


And with that, he was basically thrown out.   
  
  


* * *

  
  


_ Clean. Pristine. Fragile. _

_ He heard the glass. It made a sound that was harsh, high pitched, fast. It had cracked to a million pieces. As it fell, it mirrored, and its fragileness fell to fluidity, tainted with darkness. Black, blue space opened around him, as he felt like he was trapped. His own blood in his heart strangled him, his mind turning against him, multiplying the pain, and a volatile feeling of suffering surged through his metal spine. A finger. A sharp claw, oozing shadows in the distance. _

 

He woke up.

Saren sat on his bed in his bunk, dumbfounded, none of his limbs moving. He tried to forget. He closed his eyes, but all he could see was Sovereign. His head ached from the memories, the feeling of being trapped still present in his mind. He crawled out of the bed and left for the giant observation window in the middle of the room. 

Stars…

He needed a drink.   
  


The bar was right there, and he went for it. He didn’t even have to dig deep, he found a treasure that was already opened: horosk. It was an extremely hard turian drink, and it looked like Garrus has already popped it open.   
  


Impressive. Most who drink it pass out in a minute, the unlucky ones can even fall into a coma. He had to have one.   
  


A little excitement rushed over him at the feeling of danger. He drank a shot and grabbed the bottle, keeping it at hand. A pleasant numbness and the salty flavours of the drink touched him, just enough to ease the dream he had woken from. Aimlessly, he turned to the door and left the room.   
  


He was at the memorial wall.   
  


Some name cards were left there, high above, around the Alliance symbol. He had looked at the names, but most of them didn’t ring a bell, only one, specifically: Ashley Williams.

She was the one on Virmire, he remembered. Saren was well versed on Shepard’s crew at the time, just for the sake of intel, but none of those names were on here except for that woman.   
  


He had no time to check up on names anymore after Sovereign implanted him. Did she die on Virmire? Or later, possibly during the geth attack?    
  


Jane had a loyal crew. She was out because of the blood loss for around a day, and then she returned to her duties. As it turned out, her side gave her some run for her money with the wound being a bit too deep, but no permanent harm. He was reminded suddenly how she stood his strength, even so close to passing out… But now she was back in the game: she had visited everyone on every deck of the ship, talking about meaningless things, and the crew seemed to love that. Even with the pressure of the reaper threat, they almost seemed content in their occupation.   
  


But they weren’t so content with him running around, big surprise.

Everywhere he went, he got looks of suspicion, disgust and fear. He liked the fear, it was what he was used to. What he was not used to was spending his time on someone else’s ship and follow someone else’s orders. But it was something that had to be done: he needed Jane to be able win this war, it just wasn’t possible without her. So for now, he had to endure, but he was also sure that as soon as he had the opportunity, he will leave this filthy ship behind.   
  


His chain of thought was interrupted by a small noise, someone rummaging in the mess hall. He left the memorial wall he was standing in front of, and came around the elevator.   
  


It was Jane.   
  


She was just in a top, and a small short. She was standing at the counter, dropping a little spoon in her coffee to stir it up. She looked a lot healthier, her wounds were barely visible now. She healed a bit too quickly for a regular human.   
  


“Coffee in the middle of the night. Can’t sleep?” he asked.   
  


Jane froze for a moment, not even looking in his direction. The hesitation was brief, barely noticable. He didn’t know of it, but a chill went down Shepard’s neck when she heard his voice suddenly from the dark.   
  


“I see you’re not doing so well yourself” she replied, conspicuously looking at the bottle in his left hand. Before he could open his mouth though, she replied to his question “Stealth operation schematics don’t do themself unfortunately.” and she dropped a small datapad onto the counter, obviously the mentioned schematics.   
  


They were en route to Tuchanka at this point: in fact, only a couple hours before reaching destination. She must have been checking everything before the operation.   
  


“What’s the plan?” he asked.   
  


“Well, we go to the Shroud, finish synthesizing the cure.” she explained, looking at the schematics, dissatisfaction on her face “We then distribute it and come back. The only problem is that-”   
  


“It’s too simple.” Saren finished her sentence.    
  


“Right..” she sighed “That is why I hate operations like this. They only stand on one leg. If your cover gets blown, the whole thing goes down the shitter.”   
  


He was looking at her, almost baffled.

“I mean” she continued in order to make a proper point “You plan a stealth op and it crumbles so easily - a few errors and you find yourself in a full assault. Narrow plans like this are unreliable, because they’re hard to reshape and adapt to unforeseen circumstances.”   
  


He agreed, and he did not expect Jane to be that frontal when it came to battles, she clearly disliked nuanced tactics. She seemed not so hateable again, and by that he was confused.    
  


“I also prefer direct combat” he shared “As you might have guessed.”   
  


A small, confident smile appeared on her face. He wasn’t sure why he got that smile and he did not return it.    
  


“Well, you might have to learn to compromise this time...Considering you’re coming with us.” she smiled.   
  


“Am I?” he asked, almost in a teasing way, crossing his arms.    
  


She took a step towards him.   
  


“Help me against the reapers, and I’ll give you as much action as you can possibly bear.”   
  


Their eyes met again, and there was a moment of silence.

There wasn’t anything that Saren wanted more than the blood of the reapers.

His mandibles were tight on his face, his eyes bearming. There was no need for a reply from him, Shepard saw through him like glass, because she felt the same.

 

This silence marked their alliance.

 


	8. Connection

 

 

“IF I sabotage the cure” Jane’s voice rang through the comm room, her expression was dark and violent, and the dalatrass was watching her every move.

“Think about it Commander, the choice is yours.” she said, trying to persuade her.

“The choice _is_ mine” she replied “So now you can get the hell out of my operation!”

And with that, Jane aggressively disconnected the call.  
  
“Twat” she murmured under her nose and turned to leave the comm room. She had just enough time to put her armor on, and go for the shuttle, but Wrex suddenly blocked her way.

“Shepard, if you bring that bastard with you-” panted the krogan, visibly angry and obviously talking about Saren. A scolding look appeared on Jane’s face.

“Wrex, we already talked about this” and they did indeed. It was hard enough to convince Wrex that bringing Saren along wasn’t a complete and utter suicide, and now he was at it again as it seemed. “I need to see him in action, otherwise we’ll never get to the bottom of this.”

“He cannot be trusted” he mumbled, stepping close to the commander “He’s going to ruin everything. And when that happens, I’ll crush you.”

“We’ll cure the genophage, you have my word.” she looked deep into his eyes to make her point “And I always keep my word.”

 

* * *

 

Saren was right when he mentioned last night that this would be too easy. A reaper was standing between them and the shroud, so they had a diversion plan in place now, with some turian air force. Shepard and the ground team arrived on Tuchanka, and Eve had quickly managed to cool down the argument between Wreav and Wrex so they could get on their way with the convoy to reach the shroud in time.

Wrex did not even look at Saren the whole time, trying to ignore him as best as he could, and Jane saw that. She wasn’t even sure Wrex was going to come around, but he did - his planet and people was a lot more important to him than some old enemy.

And Saren knew nothing about this - he was aware that Wrex was also one of Jane’s old crew, but never really cared much to look into detail about him. He figured it was a mistake he made back then; considering that this warlord was now uniting the krogan…

They sat in the vehicle, chatting away, laughing about the poor dalatrass who tried to bribe Jane and ended up helping them by revealing that the Shroud had to be fixed before distributing the cure.

Shepard just sat down next to Saren, finishing her chat with Eve.

“It’s ironic.” Saren started quietly, gazing at the empty seats in front of him. Shepard looked at him in a strange way, and he looked back at her.

“What’s ironic?” she asked, mimicking his quiet voice.

“I have found a cure for the genophage, to use the krogan to _help_ the reapers.” his voice was husky and dark, and he did not remove his gaze from Jane. “And now you’re curing the genophage, to use the krogan _against_ the reapers.”

For a second, Jane didn’t know what to say.

Saren’s eyes were the usual cold blue, but there was an unknown emotion to them that she experienced for the first time here. His voice was cruel, but not towards her.. Towards himself?

“Would you” she started, whispering, making sure Wrex and Eve didn’t hear them “cure the genophage in my place?”

“Yes” he said without hesitation, but the emotion was gone from his eyes now. His cold logic had returned. “The krogan will be excellent additions to the war effort. You can find salarian support and intel on every corner of the Citadel, but krogan.. are hard to get. You would be a fool not to ignore the dalatrass and not use her information to your advantage.”

“Thanks!” she chirped, unexpectedly so for Saren, but before any of them could speak more, the convoy suddenly stopped.

“Hey, why are we stopping?” Wrex jumped up.

“Hold on!” Shepard said, exiting the rover and motioning for the ground team to follow. So Garrus and Saren jumped down too, and began to look around.

There wasn’t much to look at here, other than the Shroud tower in the distance and the giant destroyer-class reaper in front of it. The Shroud was emanating a poisonous, green fume into the air - most likely directly harmful for Eve.

“Mordin, Wrex, stay with Eve” she said into her comms “It’s quite ugly here...” she looked at the tower again, just for a second, a sick feeling in her stomach. But as it came, it went, and she turned to look at what had stopped them.

It was a giant crack in the road, destroyed by whatever and who knows when. The surface of Tuchanka was all rubble, so this wasn’t a surprise. She cursed under her nose and turned around.

“Artimec, This is Shepard. Hold off your attack, we-”

[Negative, the reaper knows we’re here] came through the comms, and at that moment the squadron appeared above their faces, going right for the reaper. The situation just got a lot busier: the squadron started circling around the reaper, and soon noises of battle could be heard.

“Damn” she hissed, and ordered the scout to move ahead, despite the roughness of the road.

“Shepard!” Garrus warned, and she turned to look. One fighter was already shot by the reaper, and it flew right above their head, dangerously close. As it crashed behind them, the road shook and sent everyone standing to the ground. The rovers fired up their engines to try and leave this place right away.

“Jane, we have to get out of here!!” Saren shouted, but as soon as he tried to stand up, he noticed another ship in the air.

One of the fighters that were onto the reaper now trying to keep it busy in the distance, had flown right into the laser. The ship’s rear end immediately blew up, sending the wreck towards the convoy still standing on the highway.

The ship crashed exactly into the middle of them, sending three of the rovers in the air. Shepard hit the ground again as thick smoke covered them. The way was blocked for the rest of them now.

“Go, go go!!” she shouted into the comms to Wrex, creeping away from the way of the convoy. Two rovers fired their way through the crack in the road, and left them there. As they made their way on the high road, out of the hot zone, Jane stood up and turned around to look for the others.

“Down!” came a loud shout from Saren, and the turian threw himself on her. Another fighter sore through the air above them, crashing into the road, causing a second explosion that covered them in more dust and debris. They lay flat on the ground and Jane started to have enough about not being able to stand up without the goddamn road blowing up.

[Commander, we have to abort!] came from the comms, as Shepard lifted her face, looking right into Saren’s eyes.

[Aye, we have to find another way. Try and save your men instead!] she agreed, and as she finished speaking, Saren stood and helped her up by her arm.

“Ok” she sighed, looking past Saren, searching for Garrus with her eyes “Let’s find another way..”

“Commander, there is a tunnel here” Garrus was standing at the edge of the road, looking at a small opening in the wall, leading to some underground tunnel. They made their way in there, while Shepard got in touch with Wrex to discuss the next steps. They had to meet up.

“We’re in some kind of a tunnel” she explained, as she jumped over the ledge and into the darkness.

[That’s the city of the ancients] Eve’s voice rang through her omnitool [These tunnels are trailblazers.]

“Great… we’ll try to find a way through, meet you up there.”

The flashlights turned on and as they made their way into the tunnels, the noises of the surface faded away. The tunnels were undisturbed, black and cold. They could hear each others steps: the strong, calculated moves of Garrus, the slow, heavy steps of Saren and the light, speedier ones of Shepard.

Saren’s ears were sharp and he could hear every move in the tunnels. He was listening to his surroundings, trying to focus on the silence, to make sure that if anything happens, he would hear it. But besides the low, slow rumbling of the earth above and beneath them, he could only hear light tapping on the ground, which was Jane.

She moved swiftly, but slowly, not wanting to disturb the peace of the tunnels, considering the carvings of a giant thresher maw that filled the place, probably not by accident. But the more he wanted to concentrate on the tunnels, the more rhythmic her sounds seemed to become. Her steps faded away now, and a low, quiet beat started to take its place. As his eyes got used to the place, her silhouette became more visible, and the beat became faster and faster.

It was her heartbeat.

The ground suddenly shook above them, and he heard her heart throb a little in her chest. He never listened to a human’s heartbeat before as there was no need, and didn’t want to listen to it now either, but his ears just wouldn’t focus.

They found more carvings, statues of krogan and even rachni. The rumbling of the ground became louder by the minute, and they were informed that Kalros _“the mother of all thresher maws”_ lives here… that was when they finally found the light, and set their eyes on Hope, the only ancient city on Tuchanka that still resembled proper civilization.

Garrus was walking behind them, his eyes not leaving Saren for even a second. He trusted Jane, but he was also her best friend, and had to protect her. So far, it seemed like Saren wasn’t planning anything: he was acting like any other turian or squadmate would do in these situations, but was awfully quiet. He wasn’t sure if that was because he hated following orders but decided not to vocalize them, or was just simply concentrating on the objective.

Who knew…

But with Jane being amazed by the ruins, Saren trying not to focus on Jane, and Garrus spending every second trying to figure out Saren, the sudden thunderous sound that came from the sky surprised them all. A reaper outpost appeared in front of them, mostly ravagers and swarmers.

And Shepard did not waste a single second. She opened up her arms, and a biotic aura appeared around her. All it took was one step forward.

She jumped so fast, the others could barely move their head to look. She was in the middle of the enemy in the beat of a heart, and submerged into the one thing she was best at: war. Her biotics flared, and she punched one of the creatures right in the face with such a force, that she almost fell over herself. The monster practically flew away, and as another one of them attacked her, she raised her gun and shot it right in the face. As others came closer she raised her hand free of her gun, and with a single wave of force she wiped away most of them.

She turned her head to look behind her back, but to her surprise Saren was right there, next to her. He was squeezing the life out of a husk that was almost on her back: saving her life probably. He broke the husk’s neck and threw it away like a doll.

The fire in his eyes was maddening. His mandibles twitched in a playful way and Jane knew that the moment has come for them to dance once again.

Garrus was standing behind covers, anxiously staring into his scope, shooting the targets that were left free by his commander and Saren. It wasn’t the first and last time Shepard jumped in like this: it was one of her favourite moves to deliver - to just jump into the face of the enemy and harass them until they fall out of their formation and are easily defeated. His role in these times was to cover Shepard: to make sure no one grabs on her or puts her down from the back. But when Saren joined the commander his blood started to boil. What a pain in the ass...

But Saren did not leave from her side. He made every second worthwhile for Shepard as he worked in her favor: he did not have any biotic abilities - like most turians - but what he was good at was strength. He would crash into the creatures and just throw them in Shepard’s way, and she would swarm them with her biotics. He’d break their arms and necks, shooting them in half, only to be swept away by Jane’s pure wrath.

It took them bare minutes to finish the squad off, and now they were standing alone amidst a pile of corpses.

“Whoah” she panted as she removed her helmet to let her hair fly everywhere “I see you weren’t lying when you said you liked direct combat!”

Saren hesitated to answer for a fraction of a second, but her eyes encouraged him, teasing him almost.

“But you forgot to tell me you’re a destroyer..” he growled, his mandibles twitching again.

He could tell she liked the snarky comeback.

After that they went through Hope like a dreadnought through an antique shop, wrecking the place behind them, and they could not stop for a second. With Garrus behind their backs, covering their tracks, they could let loose.

Jane was not holding herself back, she didn’t need to. Saren was moving in a way that made everything easy for her, almost like he could tell her next moves. He threw and pushed the monsters in a way that they always got swept away by her biotics, and she saw that it wasn’t even a stretch for him. He looked more alive than she ever saw him before. He looked free, and careless, getting back his own strength. The exercise moved all of his muscles, stretching the sore joints, rushing the blood in his body. He became faster and stronger with every minute, his steps got heavier, his strikes bigger, his eyes more alive.

And that moved her too.

The ticking of the cybernetics in her had faded somehow, and she felt really in control of her body now. She felt a heat, a strange drive that urged her to move faster and better, to hit every target and to crush every creature. Her biotics became stronger by the minute, and she was soon effortlessly throwing the monsters to their fate.

Before they knew it, they were on the bridge, looking over the trucks.

“There, we need to move right away!” shouted Garrus, pointing into the sand, towards the two trucks. The ground started shaking and as they made their way to the vehicle, giant spikes rose from the ground just near them: Kalros was closing in.

[Shit, Shepard, get over here!!] shouted Wrex, frustrated, eyeing the thresher maw.

Shepard was the first to arrive, but she stopped at the wheels: waiting for the others. Garrus came right after her and jumped into the vehicle. Saren was just behind him, but the thresher maw was getting closer and closer, knocking up the ground in front of them. A tremor came and Saren stopped for a second as he almost fell, along with Shepard. He was only a meter away, so Jane reached out and grabbed his arm. As she pulled him, they fell flat into the rover, Kalros rushing away only meters away from them.

“Go, Wrex, go!!” she screamed, and they drove away.

 

* * *

 

They stopped at the Shroud, and after a quick assessment of their new plan, the ground team started to head in the direction of the facility.

“I have to say this plan is quite intriguing..” commented Saren, still pumped from the fighting session at Hope. The plan was simple to think of, but harder to carry out: The Shroud was built into an arena that had two of the biggest maw hammers on the planet. Sounding these hammers would summon Kalros to the reaper at once: distracting it long enough for the ground team and Mordin to reach the facility and release the cure.  
  
They had to fight through a couple monsters, but nothing they couldn’t handle. But when they saw the reaper… it had paralyzed them all.

“Holy shit” Shepard sighed, as she looked at the reaper that was guarding the tower. It was a giant monster, destroyer-class, standing on its four legs, firm, like an ancient statue. When she stepped out of her cover to reach the bridge they were standing on, its core had turned to Jane.

And it looked right into her eyes. She froze for a second, swallowing down her nerves, as she realized that this will be the first time they’ll go against a reaper face to face. The first time for Saren, on foot. She looked behind her. Saren was also looking at the reaper, his eyes fixated on it.

He did not move, not an inch. He moved his gaze slowly to look at Jane, and as their eyes met, he felt her heart throb again. The reaper made both of them sick to the stomach.

“Shepard!!” Garrus screamed, and Saren had to move in a fraction of a second.

The machine raised its plates, and as Shepard was stuck in her thoughts, it had fired. She was pushed by Saren to the side, so the laser hit the bridge, ripping it to pieces.

Both of them and even Garrus fell down on the collapsing bridge. Rubble was everywhere, and they were on the ground, trying to stand up. They had no time at all, the reaper started firing at them again, forcing them to break up and duck behind covers on the two sides of the bridge leading to the tower. Shepard pushed her back to one of the monuments there, removing her broken shoulder plate.

Saren could smell her blood immediately, and for some reason he wanted to go to her, but he could not risk it.

“Can’t you just take control over it like you did with the derelict reaper??” came the question from Garrus who was right behind Saren. The reapers hellish voice tore through the air, disturbing then conversation.

“No” he growled “That reaper was practically dead, it had the tech but no mind.” he explained “This one certainly doesn’t lack anything… I can’t hack it.”

“Well then, guess we have to do this the old fashioned way!” he smiled, and jumped out of the cover, running right through the bridge to hide behind another statue.

Shepad and Saren also decided to go, and jumped from their cover to make a run for it. The reaper was standing at the same spot, it did not move ahead. They were so close they could see the cracks on its plates, and feel the heat coming from its targeting core.

“Are you shitting me??!” came a scream from Shepard from behind, who - to Saren’s surprise - had the time to look up at the reaper while running from cover to cover; her eyes staring right into the face of the beast, not caring about the rubble falling everywhere and scratching her face, nor the laser burning her eyes. “What a giant freaking bug!” she screamed again, her tone was almost amused, but angry at the same time.

It was clear to Saren now that Jane loved to fight, but despised the reapers.

And spirits, did she hate them with a passion. She wanted to tear the reaper down to the core and spit on it, make it go away. But for that she had to run, and she did. They were almost at the hammers, but the reaper was not done shooting at them. That’s when the turian wing arrived again: distracting the reaper, so they could make their move into the arena.

As they ran, they passed the reaper’s legs, and were now under it. The sheer size of that thing was horrifying to look at. The sound it emanated was ripping through their ears.. And it had two brutes under its feet.

“Mordin, status report!” Jane shouted into her comms, her voice a bit shaky, trying to round the monster that was charging at her. She tried shooting it but it had lots of armor, and barely felt the gunshots.

[Vitals steady, but weak. Cure is almost ready.]

Garrus jumped on the back of the brute, cracking its armor and shooting it from behind, that allowed Saren and Shepard to focus on the other one. They only had a moment to react as it was already charging on them. Shepard jumped away from it, and fired a few shots into his back. Saren did the same, but also grabbed a grenade, motioning at Shepard to run.

“Go, activate the hammer!!” he commanded, a tone in his voice that meant, that this was not to be refused. Jane understood and turned her back to them and charged for the hammer on the right. The turian fighters just scored a hit: setting the reaper back, forcing it to adjust.

A giant claw crashed into the ground, almost crushing Jane as she went. Her body was thrown back by the impact and she fell to the ground. Her heart rate was all over the place at this point, blood rushed in her brain. She just barely reached the hammer and pushed her hand on the activation console as the whole site trembled again from the weight of the fight. The turian ships were crashing all around and she knew they didn’t have much time.

She headed back to where she came from: the battlefield of brutes and turians, which had the other hammer on the opposite site. She saw Garrus and Saren fighting the monsters. Garrus just finished his, but Saren still fought the creature. Jane decided this was the perfect time to sneak away next to them - and by sneaking she meant running - while they were distracted. What she didn’t count upon was the brute that had Saren entertained would notice her in its peripheral.

“Jane!” a growl escaped from Saren’s throat that sounded more like a cry: a warning. An unheeded warning.

As she passed them, the brute reached out his arm and grabbed her. It lifted her in the air by her core, and slammed her to the ground.

The cry that Saren heard coming out of her mouth was shocking and he was almost sure the beast broke her in half.

He moved faster that he had ever done before. Without thinking he ripped off his gloves and jumped on its back, and with one swift move, he pulled the head of the beast back, and moved to slit its throat with his claws. But it had long arms, and reached behind its back. It grabbed Saren too, and like a ragdoll it threw him to the ground as well.

Right on top of the commander.

“Fucking hell..!!!!” she screamed from behind him.

“Jane?” he jerked his neck to look behind him on the ground where the commander was, and found her already standing up, pouting at how could he fall on top of her. She was still alive? How was she so strong? He was baffled, to say the least.

But the brute was coming again. It charged at them and lifted its arms to slam them right on top of them. Within a blink of an eye, Saren climbed on his knees and blocked the strike with his forearm. Shepard’s eyes widened in shock, the sheer force of the turian shook her to the very core. It was beautiful, but she had to move. She turned around, and with one biotic charge, she made her way to the other hammer. She activated it, and a quake ran through the ground.

And Kalros appeared.

Shepard stormed back to the team while the reaper’s shadow disappeared from above them, replaced by Kalros’ silhouette. The fight of the two creatures tore the ground apart, and they did not have a chance to look.

“Go back to the truck!” she commanded, but as she did the ground split underneath them. Garrus fell behind, but Saren threw himself on her, pushing her out of the way.

They ended up on the wrong side.

“I told you to go back!” she scolded, but he was not taking her command. Why would he?

“Not now!” he spat, and grabbed her, removing her from the spot she landed at, saving her life once again as rocks crushed to the ground at that spot.

They stood up and started running like hell to the tower. The arena was crumbling around them, and spikes of concrete broke up, hitting them everywhere as they tried to evade the falling rubble. They finally stepped on the bridge when it split right in half as the maw slammed the reaper to the ground, its laser burning the ground.

He jumped over to the other side and she followed. He made sure to catch her by her waist.

And with that, Kalros wiggled its tail, crushing half of the arena and a giant krogan statue above their heads. As the adrenaline in their blood spiked to its climax, they pushed away from each other and the statue collapsed to the ground between them. The spectres fell to the side.

Kalros wrapped the reaper in its tail, and dragged it under the ground.

And they watched from front row seats.

 

* * *

 

Shepard sat up.

She rose with a fire in her body, her heart pounding from excitement. She looked over the giant, broken krogan statue that fell between them, but she could not see Saren. She moved to jump over it to check him, but he suddenly raised his head up.

His pale plates were covered in dust and sand, but his eyes were as bright as ever, looking straight at her. She could see his chest rise and fall, his pupils darken. He was amused.

She couldn’t help a smile, and not any kind of smile.

Her whole face lit up, and as her mouth curved, her sparkling eyes narrowed. She was covered in sand, and her fiery hair fell over her armor like true chaos.

“Was that direct enough for you?” she asked, jokingly, almost laughing. “That was awesome!” She was almost broken in half and killed just minutes ago, but she was smiling, like it was all just entertainment for her.

She was fucking crazy for sure.

But she was also eerily beautiful.

“Had better before, but it was okay..” he said, a huge amount of playful sarcasm in his voice. It was a hell of a ride.

“Eat shit” she said, now laughing.

He chuckled, as means of teasing her. His mandibles pulled apart, and a strange, comforting sound escaped his chest. It was the first time she had seen his face like this, so free, so… genuine.

And they somehow just connected. They both felt it. Suddenly, they just started getting each other naturally. They did not seem so different now, on the contrary - it seemed like them being enemies and not understanding each other was the stupidest thing that could ever go down. It could happen that they were more similar than they thought.

 

He had to have a sparring session with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Looks like this chapter came out a bit long. Oops!  
> A really hope you like the story so far! :)  
> It looks like my update schedule is around every ~5 days.


	9. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I really hope you like the story. :) Comment if you like, so I can see! :)

  
  
  


__ Shadows towered over her.  
  


**_“Excellent timing, good to have you here.”_ ** __ Mordin’s voice rang in her ear.  
  


_ The trees grew larger and thinner, almost breaking in the process. She stepped on some dark, fallen leaves that crackled under her feet. Her body felt heavy, her brain struggling. She was cold and alone, as she took a deep breath, her voice broke. Her steps became faster as she turned in the direction of Mordin’s voice. But there was no one there. _

__ Just shadows, ashes and darkness. The leaves started feeling like fluid under her, and her feet got stuck to the ground, making every step harder and harder.  
  


****_“Frailty of life. Size of universe.”  
  
_

__ She fell. She squeezed the ground between her fingers, ash in her hands. She heard the monsters. She heard Sovereign. The scream of a reaper, a horrible echo. Her heart broke, her breath stopped. The noise in her head tore her apart, and Mordin’s singing sounded, flooding the forest, the air. She wanted to hear it. To get rid of the noise, and focus on the clear sound of his voice, but it faded away. She lost it.  
  


**_“Someone else might have gotten it wrong.”_ **

 

* * *

 

She jumped up on her bed.

She just sit there, her face empty of emotion, devoid of light.

Why him?

She couldn’t keep it together, she was so angry and sad, her limbs barely moved. Mordin was her friend. The crazy scientist, “the doctor who killed millions” has sacrificed himself to save the krogan. To right his wrong, to heal the damage.

He deserved to live, but he had to die.   
  


All because of the reapers.   
  


She jumped up, throwing her pillow away, and rushed through her cabin, a tear streaming down her face. She wiped it away and grabbed some clothes to wear. Without hesitation she stormed to the elevator and drove it down to the shuttle bay.

That’s where the punching bags and the exercise equipment was kept in a small room. She banged the door, not even looking or thinking someone might be in there.   
  


When she arrived she found a turian in the room, his fist just leaving the punching bag after a well executed hit. It was Saren.

His plates were smooth, it was visible that he was well-rested, the fight on Tuchanka probably had a good effect on him. It had a good effect on her too, that was not the problem - it was that shortly after the fight, Mordin died.   
  


And she felt and looked awful.   
  


Her eyes were baggy and dark from terror, her skin was a lot paler than usual and she had an aura that could not be missed by anyone. It was an aura of danger and grief.   
  


“Fight me!” was all she managed to say. It was all she could do.   
  


“Come.” he accepted, reaching his hands out, his dark voice rang in the air. Inviting her.   
  


And Shepard moved. She was onto Saren in a swift second, and started to attack him with whatever she had. The sheer force of anger she felt translated into fast, desperate swings with brute force. She did not care, she went for everything she reached: his chest, his shoulders, even his head. She did not hold back for a second, she was releasing all her being into these strikes, letting it all out.   
  


She was so strong, Saren was taken aback by her moves. He was just a punching bag in these short moments, as her desperation peaked. She didn’t seem to tire, so eventually he decided to take this further. He was no good of a punching bag - also did not quite like it -, he wanted to make her work.   
  


He hit back, and she blocked his every move. She was fierce enough on Tuchanka, but she was now on another level. He did not know that Mordin’s death was such a struggle for her, but he also did not know that she was this strong. Her strikes were beautiful, precise, full of passion.   
  


“Come on!” he growled, headbutting her when she made a small mistake of not covering her face properly. She fell back but stood up and charged at him, returning the headbutt. It must have been painful - his skeleton was metal after all - but she did not even wince. They continued to exchange blows, until they were both tired and their moves became slower. She was dizzy.   
  


“He was that close?” the question came suddenly from Saren, the surprise was apparent on Jane’s face.   
  


“He was my friend” she snarled, panting. She landed a punch that got blocked by his arm.   
  


“All of them counted on this risk, you should not be surprised! Nor should you care about them.” he scolded her coldly while catching her arm and twisting it, so she now had her back to him.   
  


“I am not surprised” she hissed, baring her teeth, trying to free herself “I just had enough of this fucking shit!” she started to get furious, still wiggling in his arms, not even commenting Saren’ statement on caring about the squadmates.   
  


“Then get your shit together!” he called with a thunderous tone, and released her violently, pushing her. She turned around, but he was on her now and pressed her to the wall. He wrapped his giant arms around her small frame, squeezing her arms to her side so she could not move. “Use this anger!” he snarled into her face, only inches away “Make them pay for every friend, every life they take away!”   
  


She looked deep into his eyes, drinking his words. Her wrath came to an apex seeing the fire in his eyes.   
  


“Attack them where they can’t prepare, bleed them out, and let them rot in the hell they created for us!” His words echoed in her mind, boiling her blood, making her fingers itch.   
  


She suddenly raised her legs, and kicked him in the stomach, making him release her. As he tumbled backwards, she kicked again with full force into his chest. Sound of pain escaped his throat as he fell backwards. She jumped on him, pinning his shoulders with her legs to the ground. Now she was on top of him, leaning into his face:   
  


“We’ll tear them to a million pieces..” she groaned, excitement in her voice. Her heart was racing, but her grief turned into something else now. She suddenly felt better. The force in his voice moved something in her that she felt such a long time ago… power.   
  


But as she fell into her thoughts, Saren grabbed her waist and pushed her to the ground. He rolled over her and pinned her down, making her unable to move. Her breath stuck in her lungs, and he leaned in closer.   
  


“Good.” he whispered, not breaking their eye contact “I need a drink.”   
  


And with that, he released her and stood up. He shook his arm to release the tension in it, and made his way to the door. When he realized Jane wasn’t right behind him, he turned back slightly.   
  


“Are you coming, or do you want to keep the punching bags company?” he teased, clearly expecting her to tag along.   
  


Defeat appeared on Jane’s face, who was still on the floor, weirded out by the sudden lack of contact. She stood up. She should toast to Mordin.

  
  


* * *

 

They drank their first glass in complete silence.

They settled in the starboard observation, sitting in the dim light of the bar. What a weird feeling it was for once mortal enemies to sit together and share drinks. It wasn’t like how friends would do it: relaxed and cheerful, but rather it was strange a bit, unfamiliar.   
  


“What’s that?” Saren asked in that usual cold tone of his, pointing at her amber coloured drink.   
  


“Whiskey” she answered, immediately continuing “It’s a very common drink on Earth, it’s my favourite” she was looking at the glass like it contained life. Trying to bury her real thoughts.   
  


“Is it any good?” he asked with doubt in his eyes. Jane knew, he obviously meant the strength. It made sense for a turian like him.   
  


“It’s in the middle” her voice rang in the emptiness of the room “This is not a drink to just chug down.”   
  


“Well, this horosk is certainly one to chug down!” he announced, and quaffed the shot in a second. He didn’t even feel the alcohol in it.   
  


“You just love that stuff, don’t you?” she teased “It’s the same stuff from last night.” It was still weird seeing the world’s most dangerous turian drink aimlessly, just out of relaxation. What a weird world they lived in…   
  


“Not bad.” was all he said.   
  


A long minute of silence settled on them, as they did not have much to say. Jane was again deep in her thoughts. He looked at her face, the face that was strong, but also pale now. Her lips parted as her thoughts raced, her red hair falling in her eyes. She moved her head in an unconscious move and her locks fell back in order somehow, which fascinated Saren. He never observed humans this close, as he always despised them, but as her hair moved, he somehow forgot about that.   
  


Despite the silence, the alien ship, the unwanted crew in his way, despite her being here and being human, he was weirdly relaxed in her presence.   
  


“You know, I was also reconstructed..just like you.” her voice was now soft, still husky as always, but quiet, smooth. His mandibles moved a bit in surprise.   
  


“I am aware you got spaced.” he nodded.   
  


She turned to him. “But being rebuilt by Cerberus is not exactly public record.” she turned her attention back to her glass.   
  


“Do you have cybernetics?” he asked, his tone as cold as usual. They seemed to have a conversation at this point.   
  


“I do. A LOT.” she emphasized the word like it had bothered her. Her face turned darker, and she looked at him. It was a strange look, one of… self doubt. “They said I was...  _ meat and tubes _ , when I was found.”   
  


He was not sure why she brought this topic up so suddenly, but it was a sign of trust. She would not be discussing this with everyone, he was sure of that. Who would understand, what it was like? To hear the ticking, to see the metal.   
  


He looked at his hands. Bones of metal.

He would understand.   
  


“Do you ever wonder..” the words just slipped out of his mouth, forgetting himself for a moment “...if you’re real?” 

She laughed a little. It was a laugh of defeat.   
  


“I do” she admitted “I’m afraid I’m only as real as you.”   
  


That’s right. How real was he?

Everything that happened before he was brought back seemed so distant now, like those events had been in another life. Because it  **was** the other life, that was wasted, thrown away and taken by Sovereign. Shepard was the only one who had tried to fight for him. The only person in the universe, who spared even a second of thought to consider him.

And the reapers have taken her life too.

It seemed like they were both just ghosts.   
  


Jane saw his face changing from emotionless and relaxed to tense. His mandibles pushed to the side of his jaw, his eyes got filled with wrath, and a strange sense of dread emanated from him. She recognized this face, it was the one she saw when he.. pulled the trigger two years ago.    
  


When he woke from his thoughts and noticed her watching him, he grabbed the bottle and poured another shot. He put all of his concentration into this simple move, trying not to waste the drink by breaking it into a thousand pieces. Because he wanted to do that. He wanted to shout, he wanted all of the reapers dead, he wanted to kill. He became so angry, simply by thinking of the monsters.   
  


Amidst his efforts to not break the bottle, he managed to break the glass he was pouring into. And when he felt something on his hand holding the glass, he froze.   
  


Her palm lightly touched the back of his hand, her silverish eyes looking right through him.   
  


“It’s okay”  she murmured, her warm hands creating a strange sensation in him. “Let me clean that up.” She stood up and went behind the bar to look for a cloth to clean up the spill and the broken glass with. She found it under the counter, and started to work. Her hands idly moved around the surface of the bar, gathering the liquid and the shards, and Saren helped her by lifting the bottle up.   
  


“I’d rather my blood is spilt... but not the horosk” he growled in regret.   
  


Jane laughed a little. A true turian, she thought. She encountered lots from his species on her journeys, and turians generally took pride in how much they could drink: she wasn’t sure if that was because of their culture, or because their rivalry with the krogan, but it seemed this was true for Saren as well. However when she looked at him, he could see the annoyance in his eyes. She should not have laughed.   
  


“Are you entertained?” he teased.   
  


“Very much so” she admitted, not even holding back her smile. She couldn’t help herself, it was a bit comical how the giant turian defended that bottle of horosk. Like it had contained the only thing that could kill the reapers. But it was just booze.   
  


“Well then, you should poor me some more, while I’m still friendly.” he said, completely serious.   
  


She just laughed away, grabbing the bottle out of his hand, and getting a new glass.   
  


“You’re not even friendly  _ now _ !” she chuckled, forgetting Mordin for a moment. She was not intimidated by Saren the slightest.   
  


He killed for less before… but somehow the teasing didn’t bother him so much right now. Her smile was relaxing to look at.   
  
  


* * *

 

“What do you think of our new guest?” That was the million credit question, and Joker threw it at Garrus the moment he stepped in the cockpit.   
  


“How did you know it was me?” Garrus stepped next to him.   
  


“You might have supreme hearing, but I hear you enter this cockpit everyday… I know your walk already.”   
  


“Fair enough” he admitted, casually putting his elbow on the pilot seat, looking out the observation windows. But suddenly Joker’s chair started to turn and he had to step back to not lose his balance. The pilot was now facing him.   
  


“You haven’t answered my question.”   
  


Garrus rolled his eyes. “What do you think? I absolutely adore Saren, the worst turian of the entire galaxy!” He consciously overreacted the sarcasm, crossing his arms and firing looks of disgust.   
  


“Yeaah” Joker nodded, turning back to the nav panel “While you’re hating on him, Saren and Shepard are sharing drinks at the bar as we speak.”   
  


Garrus went numb, his mandibles clicked in surprise. If turians could go pale, he would have gone white already. He immediately stepped to the console like someone was shooting at his feet. “Show me!” he demanded. Joker brought up the comms muting his own side.   
  


__ “You just love that stuff, don’t you?”   
  


Garrus’ face went dark, his talons clenched into fists. Joker didn’t say a thing, just watched him in amusement.   
  


_ “It’s the same stuff from last night.” _

__ “Not bad.”  
  


“They don’t seem to me they’re going to kill each other soon” Joker pointed out. The look on Garrus’ face was priceless.. He was so visibly upset there was almost two of him.  He was her best friend,  he should be with her at these times, not Saren, her mortal enemy...   
  
  


* * *

 

They drank again and continued their chat. The alcohol dissolved the nerves a bit, allowing them to have a proper conversation for the first time. Jane shared their story with Cerberus, the Collectors, going on a suicide mission, and Saren listened. She told the tale like it was an action movie or a great adventure: storying about Garrus taking a rocket to the face, recruiting a crazy biotic bitch named Jack, befriending a geth called Legion - who she seemed to really like -, and finding a Saren-statue while helping out Kasumi.   
  


“Jane, wait” he stopped her “A Saren-statue?”   
  


She just lost it and broke out laughing. At the time of seeing that statue it wasn’t funny at all, but now that she was seeing his face: it was worth it through and through.   
  


“Yeah, well… the criminal underworld of the Galaxy seems to look up to you.” she commented.   
  


“I should pay them a visit, see if I can live up to their expectations.”   
  


“And they would all end up disappointed.. and dead” she tilted her head, smiling, imagining him getting rid of the scumbags. Saren did some things in his spectre years, sure, but building a following of petty criminals flocking after him was not one of them, she was certain of that. It was beneath him.   
  


“You already know me better than those rats.” he nodded and chuged another shot of horosk. He started to feel the effect of the alcohol, which was not a surprise, considering they have been sitting here for about an hour already, and he lost count how many he drank. He did not plan on getting drunk at all, so he put down his glass and decided not to touch it again.   
  


Jane was in a similar state, she looked at her whiskey with sparkling eyes, a bit unfocused, but relaxed.   
  


“You should be dead already” she said while pointing at his drink. “This is horosk. Garrus told me this stuff can kill, and you had your fair share already.. Wait, does this affect you at all, with all the reaper tech in you?”   
  


“I can assure you it does.” he murmured “But also, I’m Saren fucking Arterius.”   
  


That did it. Her eyes lit right up and a smile spread across her face. Her hair seemed so red right now, it could put any red light to shame. It was fascinating all of a sudden. 

Then her omnitool chirped.   
  


“Ah, now what?” she pulled up the console and examined the message. She stood up suddenly “Ok, I need to go.” His eyes followed her as she was leaving, but he did not speak a thing. She stopped at the opening of the door, and looked back.   
  


She looked at him, sitting there, the purple light of the bar enveloping his plates.   
  


“Thank you.” she said softly, and left the observation room.   
  


He turned back to put the booze away, and then decided to head out for a shower.   
  
  


* * *

 

What a good shower it was. His mind was perfectly clear again, he didn’t feel tipsy anymore. It was a good thing, considering he wanted to find the AI of the ship - he wanted to gather some info on the Normandy to see if there is anything that he has in his data banks that could be beneficial in some combat situations, especially for reapers. He didn’t have any data saved from when he worked with Sovereign, but there were some algorithms he was familiar with, and some that he saved from the Derelict reaper. EDI would appreciate them, and it can also get them out of some real trouble, if the need arise.

He rounded the corner at the elevator, when he almost bumped into resistance. It was the other turian, Garrus. He could hear his steps a mile away.   
  


“What?” Saren asked in more than a rude manner, stopping before they could run into each other. Garrus’ eyes were on fire, and he took a step closer, a bit too close for comfort. It was a sign of aggression, that Saren did not appreciate.   
  


“What did you do to her?” he asked immediately with a cold, cruel tone in his voice.   
  


“That is none of your business” Saren replied, already baring his teeth “And you would do well not to accuse and disrupt me or the commander might lose his beloved sniper one night..”   
  


“You insufferable-” Garrus started, but Saren stopped him, putting his hand between them, pushing him away by his chest.   
  


“You are insufferable” he snapped back “Get your ugly face off of me!” he pushed him.   
  


Garrus did not return the push, he knew it was what Saren wanted.   
  


“You won’t get away with it if you hurt her” his voice was almost just growling now, the tension rising between the two turians. “I’ll make sure to break you in half if that happens!”   
  


“Whatever” he spat, turning away and just leaving Garrus there “Kid.”   
  


Garrus wanted to kill him.

So badly.

 

 


	10. Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) Sorry for the hiatus, I have been on a festival and then got sick.. omg. I hope you'll like this new new chapter, please let me know! The next one is coming soon too.  
> Enjoy!

 

It was sheer luck that Tuchanka wasn’t that far away from the Citadel, so they only had to travel a couple days to reach it, after Councilor Valern reached out to Shepard. They had to take a look at Udina’s activities, as Valern suspected he was dirty in some way.

She wasn’t surprised, not the least, but playing detective and devoting her days to Udina was not one of her favourite things. Fortunately, she was saved by a comm from Admiral Hackett, who offered her a bit more fun before diving into Udina’s financial shit:

On their way to the Citadel it so happened that they were close to a planet that housed a recently discovered Cerberus telescope. Hackett explained the telescope has been doing god knows what, but it’s possibly collecting large amounts of unknown data.

“We need to find out what that telescope does and shut it down - whatever Cerberus is using it for, it cannot be for good. But make sure not to destroy it! If you manage to capture it, it will be invaluable for the alliance as a comms station, but if it gets destroyed, we won’t be able to use it.”

These were his exact words, like he already knew that everything Shepard touched was going to turn into ashes. In her cabin, as she gathered her stuff to give the coordinates to Joker, she laughed out a little at the thought of that, realizing she was indeed destroying stuff quite quickly. That included punching bags, facilities, mercs, spaceships, geth and reapers of course. She was in an ok mood somehow, now that a couple days had passed since… Tuchanka. She was still broken inside, but it was time again to bury herself in therapy, which was usually including wrecking something. Or someone. Fighting was her life, and war was her home.

On her way to the cockpit, she passed Saren who confidently nodded at her while passing by. She could wreck him during a well organized sparring session, she thought.

Come to think of it, Saren was very much what she expected. He was usually cold, not showing much emotion, especially when in a crowd. The crew hated him for what he had done in the past, but never dared to bring it up. He never talked about it either, in fact all he cared about was their current mission and its technical, operational details, and of course the reapers. It was a wonder to others he didn’t do anything so far that would upset the crew, but she knew better. Saren was highly intelligent, and he knew what he walked into.

He was _very_ smart.

He provided EDI with reaper targeting algorithms, that he scribbled down from memory. Memory. It somehow amazed her, but at the same time she wasn’t surprised. He was a spectre for a reason, and that reason was clear as the sun: intelligent, strong, violent. It didn’t bother her that he was on the Normandy. While the crew was wary of him clearly, it wasn’t the case with her - she was not sure why, it was strange. The look on his face when they were fighting reaper scouts on Tuchanka.. The true relief in his eyes, the excitement evoked something raw in her.

Now she only had to figure out what to tell the Council…

“I’m listening!”

Jane snapped out of her chain of thoughts as she heard Joker’s voice. She already arrived in the cockpit, and the pilot was now looking at her, waiting for whatever she had to say.

“Yeah” she sighed “Joker, head to these coordinates, we have received a little mission before reaching the Citadel.” Joker nodded and started preparations while EDI stood up and walked over to the commander.

“Shepard, the targeting algorithms Saren provided us with...” she looked at Jane eagerly, as much as possible for a machine to look eager “They are quite advanced, and I think integrating them into our Thanix cannon is giving us a fighting chance even against reapers.”

Jane tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowing a bit. “IS giving us?”

EDI looked at the floor. “I already applied the upgrade.”

“What?” came a surprised, low voice from behind their backs, and they naturally saw Garrus entering the cockpit with an angry look on his face. There we go... “Commander, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Are you asking this because the algorithm is from Saren?” she asked, her eyes showing she was intrigued. The look on Garrus’ face became more intense.

“Of course!” he motioned, starting the argument, but he quickly decided to drop it instead “Look, Shepard, I don’t want to be a pain, I’m just not sure we should trust him so quickly.”

The look in her eyes softened at the sight of her best friend worrying about her and the crew. She suddenly felt really happy to still have Garrus around. After what happened with Mordin.. “It’s alright” she smiled, lifting her hand to put it on his shoulder gently “Then trust me instead.” She also threw a wink at EDI.

No one saw it, but a smile appeared on Joker’s face sitting in his chair. Saren appeared out of the blue, and only he noticed.

“Hate to disturb your little parenting session” Saren said while looking at Garrus with despise in his tone “But Cerberus set up air defense turrets around the telescope, so going with a rover would be the best option.”

The look on Garrus’ face was surprising to see for Saren, as his mandibles pulled apart in a giant smile. What was that for?

“Be careful what you suggest to Shepard!” chuckled Garrus.

 

* * *

 

 **“SPIRITS! Jane, are you from hell??”** Saren held onto the handrail in the mako as hard as he could, his back pushed to his seat, his talons digging into the side of the rover. All his breath got caught in his lungs as the vehicle touched the ground on the planet and Shepard stepped on the gas like there was no tomorrow. The blasted woman drove like a real demon: her feet never came close to even touching the brake, all she new was the gas pedal. The mako started screaming and dust flew in the air as their momentum pushed the front of the mako in the air.

That’s when she activated the the jump jet, pushing them in balance in the air so the mako could land properly again. She stepped on the gas again, and the vehicle was blasting through the open grounds to reach the facility.

She also made sure to hit every possible obstacle in their way, making this ride resemble a roller-coaster of the devil, rather than a simple trip. James Vega in the backseat was laughing his ass off at the horrible driving of his commander, but not admitting that throwing up was really close. Saren on the other hand, cursed Jane in his mind as hard as he could.

He never saw anyone, let alone a human woman drive like this before. She had zero regard to taking gravity into account, and her smile spread from ear to ear in her craziness. She enjoyed this thoroughly and looked very much like a five year old with a weapon much bigger than her. He admired her courage but he also hated her to death in these moments. Her driving style resembled her fighting, now that he thought about it, but at this moment it was a curse on all of them.

“Just slow down, you’re going to kill us!!” he shouted, thinking of going rogue and taking the wheel from her.

“Don’t tell me, you’re afraid!” she laughed, clearly not planning on making it easy for him. He exhaled through his nose, his mandibles sticking tight to his face in anger. Garrus was right, he admitted to himself in shame. Then the mako suddenly stopped, out of nowhere, and he almost broke his neck in the process.

“We’re here!” she smiled. Saren removed the safety belt and banged the door open, marching to the driver’s side with a look of a killer on his face.

“How in hell did they let you through military school with that kind of a suicidal driving? If you’d pilot the Normandy instead of Joker, it would have killed everyone on board on its first mission!!” he shouted in her face. Then he realized something. “Wait” he stepped back “Is this how you defeated the colossi I left behind on Virmire and Ilos?” he asked, genuine intrigue in his voice.

All that appeared on her face was a knowing, mischievous smirk.

“If you mean, Did I just drove into them full speed? Then yes. I didn’t need to fire a single shot.”

Saren stood there, flabbergasted, his mandibles released from his jaw, and his mouth opened a bit in shock. He couldn’t believe that this little, squishy woman was just driving through the hardest of geth units. He would not admit it but he was actually impressed. Instead he turned around, walked away and decided to focus on the mission.

“Come on, give me some credit here!” Jane shouted after him with a large smile, and returned Vega’s fist bump.

After parking the mako they found their way quite quickly to the dish access itself. The telescope was large, a couple hundred feet wide on the first look, and some smaller facilities were connected to it. The place was strangely swarming with Cerberus soldiers instead of scientists, but that only made things easier. They didn’t have to bother with them like this, and they just killed the soldiers. But when they got through the main access and managed to reach the dish itself, the Cerberus soldiers weren’t paying attention to them, and grouped around the main antenna in the core of the dish.

“What are these guys doing?” James asked, puzzled, looking at the horde of soldiers. They stepped on the dish, getting closer to them.

“They’ll destroy the dish” Saren explained, apparently hacking one of the consoles on the arm next to them. “The logs say the information gathered with the dish somehow corrupted Cerberus systems, but they couldn’t shut it down… They’ll probably destroy the telescope itself to stop the infection. Explains why there are no scientists here, the facility was evacuated.”

“What infected the system?” Jane asked, readying her weapon as they walked closer to the soldiers. When Saren found the information, he immediately shot the console with his gun, getting the attention of the soldiers now near them.

“Reapers” he breathed with disgust in his tone, raising his pistol to shoot a soldier charging at them. She looked at him, and he stepped closer to her, to make sure she hears “They were picking up on reaper comms and other non-comm related information like positions and routes... For whatever purpose. It appears the reapers have noticed.”

“But that means-” was all she could say before they heard a thunder-like sound that shot through the air above them. A giant reaper appeared in the atmosphere, rapidly closing in on them. “Shit!” she cursed.

“We have to get out of here!” Vega shouted, immediately turning around, leaving the soldiers alone who also noticed the reaper and started panicking.

“Go!” Saren added and pushed Shepard towards the edge of the dish and followed right after her. The reaper behind their backs in the meantime had descended from the sky, and as they ran to the edge, it had crashed right into the middle of the dish, destroying the telescope with one fateful move.

The dish had cracked and concrete started flying everywhere. The scream of the reaper sounded, and shocked through the facility as it banged into the whole complex. The ground rapidly disappeared below them, and right after Vega, as Jane jumped on the edge of the dish that was still intact, she looked back. All the Cerberus soldiers fell down into the crater the reaper created.

Saren was right behind her, but the concrete ran out from under his feet, and in just a moment, he fell. She instantly dropped her gun and reached for him. She could feel him grabbing her forearm, his weight crushing her to the railing. As she fell face flat, Vega jumped to grab her feet to make sure she doesn’t fall down with him.

“Saren!!” she screamed, reaching out her other hand as well and grabbing his arm. The reaper’s plates almost touched his body, the machine was so close.

“Come on!” she encouraged him, even though they had no time with the reaper right in their faces. She started pulling him, slowly but surely, even if his weight was a lot for her. “Hold on!” Vega started pulling Shepard in the meanwhile, slowly raising both of them up on the edge. Eventually, his hands were on the railing and she pulled him right up, and with one move they fell back next to each other. Vega stood up and motioned towards the reaper, freezing in his movement:

“This is not good!!” he shouted, and they both looked at the machine.

The reaper stood in the place where the dish once was, its core right in front of them. The metal plates shifted, and bright red light enveloped them suddenly. The targeting core was scorching from the heat right into their eyes, and they instinctively moved closer to each other, not having a moment to escape. Saren moved his left hand over Jane, and without thinking he covered her from the reaper, turning his body to face her. The momentum shoved her down a bit, forcing her on her elbows.

 

The reaper behind his head was ready to fire its laser right through them, and their eyes suddenly met.

She looked right into his bright blue eyes, now reflecting the crimson light. They were the same eyes that looked at her in the Council’s chambers, that opened up to her under the wreckage on the Namakli, the same eyes that almost laughed from the fight on Tuchanka. They had no weakness in them, no fear, just strength. His arm wrapped around her waist, his back covered her body, his face moved closer to her, protecting her. As the red light creeped in between them and the reaper’s hellish siren went off once again, time stopped for Jane.

 

_“She drifted off from the force of the explosion, turning as she went, she clearly saw the Normandy blowing to pieces. She had to figure something out really quickly, but she couldn’t start on her thoughts, as she noticed that her oxygen tank was leaking. Panic flooded her mind,as she realized that there was no way she was getting out of this now. Finally her life caught up to her, and this was it. Still fighting, she tried to reach her tank but it was on her back. She moved, she tried, but to no avail. Her arms tired as she lost her breath, her legs felt heavier and her lungs gave in, emptier than ever before. Catching for air only to find emptiness, she gazed at the distant stars._

_She was completely alone, defeated, torn. Her bones hurt, and a strange cold circled around her. A cold similar to the blue he saw in his eyes.. Saren’s eyes. She still remembered him. The things he’d done, the things he said. Denying, lying, fighting and finally ending the pain. The way he moved and responded to her haunted her._

_She looked for his hands to hold, but they were nowhere. He was gone forever, and she was here now, stuck between worlds, floating through time, dazed and hurt with an ache in her heart. She lost everything, this limbo, this passing thought of him was the only genuine thing she had, but it was fading away, leaving her dry. She understood now the death in his eyes, the pain, the solitude. The regret of a wasted life, the loss of time. A lone tear streamed down her face, and with a whisper of his name on her lips, her eyes closed.”_

 

She again looked in his eyes.

The reaper will fire in a moment, and there they were, intertwined, together. Neither of them alone. His blue eyes were there, shining into hers, his fingers squeezing the small of her back through the armor. It was how it should have been. Only they understood the connection the reapers created between them, the doom that always lingered over them.

And it felt right.

She found comfort in fading away with him, as she knew the moment the reaper will move, they will be dead. Her body eased in his arms, and she lifted her hand to touch his jaw.

He felt it. Her hand stayed on the side of his face, and his mandibles instinctively moved against it, his jaw sank into her palm. Her touch freed him of all the burdens he carried. The regret and the loneliness were no more, and all that remained was her touch and the silverish blue of her eyes. She was the only one who understood. She saw the visions, she fought for him to try to save him, she shed tears for him, she took her by his side and for some reason she trusted him. She was made of the same core as he was, and holding her he could accept death. Their fate should have always been like this. Always.

A screeching sound emanated from the sky, and Saren fell on Jane.

The reaper fell back, and after a second, the Normandy flew away above them. The ship shot right into the reaper’s targeting core, freeing them from their doom. They both stood up, and after a quick look at each other confusingly, they ran back to where they came from, using the disturbance of the reaper to leave the facility. And within an hour they were back on the Normandy, both of them sitting in their room, staring dead into the emptiness.

 

What the hell just happened?


	11. Hit

  
  


The hot shower he took did nothing.

Saren’s whole being was cold as Noveria, and he was so awake and aware, he felt he could see through the walls. Taking a drink didn’t help either, and now he was pacing in front of the observation window. All he could think of was what happened at the telescope. Without a second thought he was protecting her, shielding her from that monster, and he should not have done that. Yes, Jane needed to be protected since she was the only hope in this war, but she could also take care of herself and it wasn’t like he could have done much anyway. If the Normandy wouldn’t have come, they would be toast now, that reaper was so close.

No, this was all bullshit, he was lying to himself.

There was a war in his mind, but he eventually processed his thoughts. He protected Jane because that was what he had to do. That was where he belonged. After he almost wrecked the galaxy three years ago, it was thanks to her that he got his sanity back. And now he had a chance to live a second life and right all the wrongs. Without indoctrination, he could now do what he would have done originally. In his own language.

Destroy the reapers and perish them in their own hell, through the war they asked for themselves. With her.

It only occurred to him now how different she was.

She seemed caring towards everyone, and she was fucking crazy as well. Everyone loved her and she was indeed very open and kind. But she fought like a maniac, and she really shone when in combat. She was violent and dangerous, but almost soft at the same time. It was a combination that he had never seen before. He slowly began to admire it.

As his thoughts raced, he found himself calming down a bit, and eventually made his way to the mess hall.

 

* * *

 

Jane dropped her datapad on her bed and buried her head in her hands. She could not concentrate on work now, all of the resource reports she needed to sign seemed an endless torture to her. They were so boring, and she hated boring. She just stared ahead for a few seconds, letting her mind wonder, and her thoughts eventually ended up at the place that urged her to bury herself in the reports in the first place. She thought of his face, his mandibles. The loneliness in his eyes that haunted her since they came back from the mission.

He protected her, even though there was no need. Like how she helped him three years ago, when it was the least expected. She didn’t feel uncomfortable, but rather she wanted to see him. She stood up. She also wanted a drink.

When she exited the elevator and she entered the empty observation room, she grabbed the whiskey from behind the bar, and poured a small amount in a glass. The was no ice. Fuck. She proceeded anyways and contemplated going to the kitchen. She stood next to the window and eyed the couch that was facing the starry view. She shrugged and decided to sit down, putting her feet up on the coffee table and quickly checking behind her back.

There was no one here. She pulled out a cigarette and a little mechanic ashtray from the pockets of her captain’s casuals and lit that baby up.

“Shepard. Smoking is prohibite-”

“Not again, EDI” she interrupted the AI, who gave up instantly. She could swear she heard a sigh from EDI. She ignored it and relaxed into the couch. She was blowing out the smoke and sipping her whiskey.

“Are you using your free time to blow up the ship?” A low, rumbling voice came from behind her back. The owner of the voice came closer, and settled next to her on the couch, putting his leg up on the table, like she did. He reached out his left hand, two of his talons held up into the air.

“Isn’t this going to kill you? It’s human made.” Jane asked as she turned her head towards Saren and handed him her cigarette.

“I need more than a tiny cigarette.” he said and took a puff, then gave it back to her. They sat there in silence for just a few seconds. Strangely, it wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable, even though it should not have been after what happened. But both of their thoughts cleared up. Saren finally moved his jaw and the smoke escaped from his mouth and nose. It followed the curve of his plates on his nose and forehead before disappearing into the air, the grey colour of the fume blending in with his face. He looked at Jane from the corner of his eye.

“Why?” he asked, his voice as deep as darkspace.

“What why?” she chuckled, her eyes fixed on him.

“Why did you help me three years ago?” He was serious. He was thinking about this ever since he woke up, but only now, after their little staring contest on the brink of death did he only feel comfortable asking her this. There was something in her eyes at that time that brought him closer to her. Now his eyes were scanning her, as if expecting a specific answer. She looked down, gathering her thoughts.

“I wanted you on my side against the reapers” she answered honestly, but his eyes dulled in response. It was the answer he exactly expected. “But also-” she continued. His eyes were on her again, now scanning her once more, but this time with surprise in them. “I knew it wasn’t the real you.”

She took a sip from the whiskey.

“But you didn’t even know me before that.”

“I have good instincts.” She smiled at him. It was the first time he really looked at her features. Her skin was pale, and her eyes shaped like almonds. Her small nose and curvy lips were soft, but there was a fire in her eyes and hair that reminded him that he was sitting next to probably the most dangerous woman in the galaxy. He couldn’t help a smirk at the contrast.

“You may have good instincts, but they surely disappear when you drive the mako” he teased suddenly, and the face she reacted with was worth it. He kept his face as cold as possible to hide his amusement.

“That was uncalled for!” her eyes were beaming with offense and fun at the same time.

“Even the telescope got wrecked.” he continued, a blank expression on his face, but having the time of his life internally. Jane’s face went from half amused to serious in a split second, suddenly turning towards him.

“Oh my god, it did!” she said, like she only realized it now. “I wreck everything. Hackett asked me specifically not to destroy it, but I guess it was water down the drain...”

“You didn’t wreck it, the reaper did.” he said.

At the thought of the memory, sharp silence settled in and the light moment was gone, another taking its place.They shared a silent glance, then she looked out the window. To put out her cigarette she reached to the ashtray on the coffee table. When she finished and drew her hand back, his hand caught hers in mid air. His now ungloved fingers slowly brushed the back of her hand, revealing a fresh cut on the surface of her skin. His talon lightly moved over it, so gently it almost tickled her. His skin was cold on her hot one, and Saren’s hand was coarse and a lot bigger than hers, her small fingers disappeared in it completely. She strangely felt eased at his touch, a similar effect she felt back on the railing just a couple hours ago.

They both lingered for a second, before Saren spoke.

“Is this from today?” he asked, looking at the cut.

“Yes.” she then added “It’s nothing.”

He stroked her hand for a faint moment. A cut like this would not hurt, he thought, and it was the smallest injury that could happen to them. Somehow, suddenly thinking of the worst thing that could happen to both of them at the end of all of this creeped him out. They looked at each other again, and they felt there was no need for words.

They fought against each other three years ago, but suffered the same fate of death and rebirth. They were the reverse of the same, the two sides of the same coin.

He released her hand slowly, then stood up and left the couch. Jane didn’t say anything at first, just followed him with her eyes as he walked to the door.

“What should we tell the Council when they realize it’s you?” Jane asked, turning around.

“Whatever works.” he said, and the door swooshed closed behind him. His back fell to the door as he stopped for a moment to think. They were partners now, not strangers anymore.   
  
  


* * *

 

A couple of days later Jane regretted taking Hackett’s mission with the telescope, when they arrived at the Citadel and it was under attack by Cerberus. If they would have arrived a couple of hours sooner, this whole thing would have probably played out very differently.

But now here they were, roaming through C-Sec Headquarters, searching for Councilor Valern who was most likely trapped in the executor’s office. Udina was definitely dirty at this point, since the timing of the attack was too perfect. Valern about to prosecute Udina, and suddenly the Citadel and the Council gets attacked? It was so transparent that Shepard could spit in Udina’s face if he was here at the moment.

As they went through rooms and corridors, they finally arrived at the office, from where they noticed Valern hiding under a table. Jane brought Saren and Garrus with her this time, figuring turian strength will come in handy. And boy she was right. When an assassin appeared out of nowhere, Garrus and Saren were there in a second, but as they were trying to get the assassin to give up, someone else also appeared.

A drell came out of nowhere, and with rapid speed he attacked the guy trying to shoot Valern. Saren saw Jane’s face light up as she noticed the drell. He did hear her mention some “Thane” to the crew who she was emailing with, and was in a hospital. He looked at the guy and he sure didn’t seem like someone who was sick, but rather an assassin who moved quite well. As they escorted Valern - who looked like he’s seen a ghost when he noticed Saren - out of the room while the two were fighting, Saren had a chance to look at the battle, and when he looked closer, the drell indeed moved like his body was heavy: he moved and reacted a bit slower than his opponent.

Just as he looked away for a second to push Valern out the door, she heard a loud thud and Jane’s scream filled the room. His instincts immediately kicked in and he turned to scan around for her. She was now kneeling in front of the drell, who went down to the floor, and his blood was flooding under Jane’s feet, the other assassin already running away. Saren could hear the hoarse in her voice as she fought her tears and before he could move anywhere, she was shouting:

“Saren!” she screamed so loudly and in such despair that it almost knocked the wind out of Saren. “You come with me! Garrus, stay with Thane and Valern, and get some goddamn medics here!!” her tone was never as demanding as it was now.

She immediately stood up and started running in the direction the Cerberus assassin left. Saren followed her closely even though she was getting faster with every step, almost dropping her gun in haste. When they exited the building at the shuttle bay, they reached the assassin who jumped into a shuttle. Shepard without thinking ripped open another shuttle and they jumped inside. They ascended into the air and the chase started.

“Who the fuck is this??” she shouted, slamming her fist into the shuttle controls while driving, trying to get her omnitool to work. He had never seen her this upset, that drell must have been another friend, like Mordin was.

[Shepard!] came from the comms suddenly, it was Bailey from C-Sec HQ [What’s going on up there?]

“There’s a freaking assassin here!” the explanation came with an anger Jane could not hold back.

[He must be going after the Council] Bailey said [You must reach the Council. They are being taken to a shuttle pad on the Presidium. I’ll try to raise them on the comm.]  And with that, Bailey was out and she could focus on reaching that asshole who stabbed Thane.

She was furious. Saren looked at her from his seat and her face put on an expression so dark, even he was surprised by it. She was flying like a maniac still, like she was driving the mako, but this time it was a lot more controlled and aggressive. Within a couple minutes they were on the assassin’s tail, so much so that their shuttle was bumping into the rear end of the enemy’s car. As they were hustling in the air, the assassin finally got bored of the chase, and the shuttle doors opened mid-air.

The man moved so swiftly Saren barely had time to react. The guy jumped on their own shuttle towards the back end, and brought his sword out to thrust it into the shuttle.

”Fuck!!” Shepard shouted, moving the wheel sideways to get rid of the free rider. Saren in the meanwhile wasted no time and with one move he wrecked the top of the shuttle, making way for him to climb on top of it. He was on all four, like a beast on the back of the shuttle, taking his pistol and firing it right into the asshole’s face. The guy had a face he already hated, not to mention he blocked his shot with a mini kinetic barrier. That’s when he put his gun away and sent his fist into battle. Jane stopped dancing on the wheel to ensure he doesn’t fall down with his opponent, much appreciated that one.   
  


And their battle started, mid-air, flying through the Presidium. Saren was firing his fist into the guys face in every second, but he was fast, dodging his attacks easily. But when they hit, they hit really hard: Saren was a lot bigger and a lot stronger than him, and it was easy to block the small assassin from reaching the engine with his sword. That was when he learned that he should stop trying to pierce the shuttle with this weapon, and try piercing Saren instead. He started wiggling the sword around in a fast pace, trying to confuse the turian with the many fast swings he’s been doing. But Saren was no fool, and he got bored with this guy quite fast.

All Saren did, was move his left forearm into the way of his swinging, and the assassin’s sword simply crushed into it, cutting Saren’s arm with full force, right to the bone. He hissed at the pain, but thanks to his reaper skeleton, the sword got stuck in his metal bones, and the Cerberus guy’s face went white. Saren used this momentarily surprise to punch him right in the face with his other hand, almost sending the assassin flying in the air. But the guy wasn’t working for Cerberus for nothing: he readied his other hand while Saren was punching him, and right after he also landed a huge blow, right into the turian’s chest.

That’s when Jane almost stopped in mid air.

The roar she heard was devastating, and one she never heard from Saren before. The howl that escaped his throat was thunderous and husky, and as it died down, he stopped moving. Shepard started moving around on her seat, turning her head to look at what had happened, but she could see nothing. The only thing she realized was that the assassin stabbed his sword into the engine, and now they were going down in the air, right towards a building on the Presidium.

She couldn’t do anything and they crashed into the side of a plaza. A fire broke out in the shuttle, and Jane climbed out of it, turning her head in search of Saren. She found him lying next to the vehicle, on his back.

“Saren!” she screamed, falling on her knees next to him. A painful groan escaped from Saren’s chest as he lifted his head. “What did he do to you?” she asked in haste. Based on the fear in her voice, he must have scared her a lot.

“That motherfucker punched me with something...” he growled, sitting up. His head was spinning and an unfamiliar, deep pain rose in his chest. He looked down on his armor that had a huge whole in it in the middle. What the hell was that… he thought. He wiped his mouth and noticed drops of blue blood on his hands. What did that assassin do to him? “It’s nothing, I’m fine.” he eventually said.

Jane didn’t say anything, she figured recommending a check with Dr. Chakwas would only anger him at the moment, so she decided to bring it up later instead. It appeared she did not notice the blood. They slowly got up and made their way to the elevator to reach the Council before the assassin does. Despite some hardships with the elevator they succeeded and managed to leave the guy behind, and meet the Councilors.

 

They exited the elevator and found Kaidan Alenko protecting them. Cerberus shot out the shuttle they wanted to use to escape, so they turned back towards the elevator.

“Shepard?” Kaidan’s expression barely covered his surprise as he saw his former commander step out the door, weapons raised. Saren recognized the man’s face from her former crew. When Kaidan noticed him, his eyes widened even further and he raised his gun higher, pointing it at Saren. “Saren Arterius??” he exhaled, clearly expecting anything, but their old enemy. He did not know what to think and that was visible on his face. The Council members looked at each other in devastation, and while they were familiar with Jane and her impossible methods, they could not wrap their head around this.

“Shepard’s blocking our escape, she’s with Cerberus!” Udina shouted, then added “And she’s working with a traitor!”

“Shut your damn mouth Udina!” Jane said, disgust in her voice.

“Hold on!” Kaidan interrupted, taking a step back “Shepard, what’s going on here?” he asked, looking at Saren, then back to her.

“You know me better than this, Kaidan..” she started, but he interrupted her:

“Yes? Then how come you have this traitor on your side? And why are you after us? I’m not even sure I know who you are anymore!”

“We don’t have time for this!” she started, lowering her weapon. “You were all fooled! Udina is behind this Cerberus attack. He wants to take over, Valern confirmed it. As for Saren on my side, rest assured he’s on the right side of this war this time.”

“Damn right” Saren hissed, throwing a dangerous look at Kaidan.

“You don’t have proof, you never do.” said Udina.

“The elevator shaft is filled with Cerberus soldiers, if you open that door, you all die!” she tried to reason with them.

“How can you expect us to believe that with Saren Arterius on your side??” Kaidan added “First you’re working for Cerberus, and now this?”

Udina stepped forward, talking to the Council “He’s right! She’s bringing our mortal enemy in front of us and expects us to believe her? This is a trap!” his voice was agitated, clearly afraid of his cover blowing up. The anger on Shepard’s face was now so apparent that everyone could see it. She wanted to shoot him so badly, her hand almost started shaking from the anger.

“Shut your lying mouth!” shouted Saren suddenly. He took a step towards the Council and felt that Kaidan’s crosshairs were now fixated on him. “We only have one mortal enemy, and that is the reapers, not me.” he winged his pistol in passion as he spoke, his voice thunderous, startling everyone:

“Jane tried to warn you about me, you didn’t listen. She tried to warn you about the reapers, you didn’t listen. Collectors, I bet she did the same thing, and you still didn’t listen. I was able to help Sovereign because she was held back by your disbelief. I wrecked the Citadel and almost the whole galaxy, because you wouldn’t see reason! And now you’re standing here, in the middle of a war you could have prepared for in time, if you would have listened! Every second you ignore her you’re proving you’re not only unfit for having power over anyone, but the whole galaxy! She’s the only person on this freaking station who is not brain-dead, like you idiots are, and you’re still pushing her away! Your stupidity hurt the galaxy more than my actions ever did… “ he finished in disgust ”I’m surprised she didn’t already kill all of you for your ignorance.”   
  


It felt like a bomb was dropped. A silence so sharp settled onto everyone that even a heartbeat could be heard. Udina’s face was white as a wall, the other Councilors frozen from embarrassment. Saren just stood there, victorious, exhaling a ragged breath. He towered above all of them, winning the diplomatic battle in a second. Jane was caught off guard, so much so that she left her combat stance. How did he catch all of this? Was he reading her mind?

No one ever stood up for her like he did just now. Ever. The words leaving Saren’s mouth were everything she wanted to shout into their faces for years, and now they were out there. She felt an incredible weight lifted from her shoulders, even more satisfying than the thought of slaughtering the Council. 

“I have no idea how you’re alive..” Tevos broke the silence, an unfamiliar shame on her face “But you’re right. We mistrusted Shepard before, and it did not serve us.”

“Fuck this!” said Udina, and turned around “I’m overwriting the elevator controls!” he stepped to the console and started the process. Kaidan looked at Shepard, his weapon still drawn at both of them. Jane looked at him, a question in her eyes.

The guy was visibly conflicted. Eventually, he lowered his weapon.

“I’m going to regret this.” he said, and turned around, now pointing the gun at Udina. “Step away from the console!” he demanded. And with his last decision, Udina refused. He armed himself with a pistol, pointing it at Tevos. Kaidan raised his gun in hesitation, but Jane did not think twice.

She shot Udina without a second thought.

“That is where your stupid human domination gets you.” commented Saren to the now dead Udina, with an expression of disgust on his face. He sent a nod of approval towards Jane for shooting Udina, and left the scene.

And with that, the situation was resolved. Bailey arrived soon after and confirmed everything Saren and Shepard said, and informed that Cerberus took off from the station. The Council left Saren unharmed and free as they were in no position to turn help away, even if it was from the turian who almost destroyed them. They also informed them that Saren walking around the Citadel should be no problem as they gave him the same level of full clearance that Jane had. Shepard was pleased that they had come to their senses and decided that they should retire to the Normandy.


	12. Blood drawn

 

 

 

Jane sent everyone back to the ship, and ordered a shore leave for the rest of the day and for tomorrow. She had no willpower going back to space so soon, not to mention that the commotion around the attack of the Citadel and Udina’s death left her with lots of items on her to do list.

But right now, she could concentrate on none of those things.

She was sitting next to Thane’s bed, her face buried in her arms next to him. Kolyat had left already and she remained there alone, in her bloody armor, fresh from the battle.

A tear silently streamed down her face.

All she felt was that everything was slowly being taken away from her. First Earth, then Mordin, now Thane. They were always close friends, and kept talking to each other even after the suicide mission, just like with Mordin. She couldn’t even grasp what it would feel like if something would happen to Tali or Garrus, who were basically family to her.

She dodged bullets impossible to dodge, broke thousands of criminals and enemies, stopped the reapers once, but still, she couldn’t protect one little drell. She had no idea how she was going to do this whole war, not at this moment. All she felt was grief, slowly creeping into her every cell.   
  


 

* * *

 

 

Saren stepped out of the shower. He looked at his chest in the mirror, and there was only a small wound on it. He took a deep breath and felt a strange pain spreading in his lungs as he did. How the hell did that guy punch so big that it caused a wound on his chest and his muscles hurt now? He eventually figured it must have been some high-tech Cerberus weapon, and decided to forget about it. He probably just needed to work it out, but it was already quite late, so he decided to retire for the night. He left for his bed and laying on his back, it only took him a couple of seconds to fall asleep.   
  


 

* * *

 

 

_ He opened his eyes. _

_ He was standing in water that reached up to his thighs. It was cold and it washed around him, hugging him. He couldn’t see the bottom of it because it was dark, the middle of the night, but as a silver light broke on its surface, he slowly realized that it was the moon. He looked up at it, only to realize it was the Menae… he was on Palaven. _

_ A strange fear creeped up in his mind, and he suddenly felt that the air was escaping his lungs, as if it were the vacuum of space. He lowered his head to try and look for a shore near him, but instead he caught a glimpse of something else. _

_ A woman stood near him, looking at him. She was smaller than him by a head, the sea covering her to the hips. She had red hair, and even though the color was dulled by the darkness around them, he knew it was Jane.  _

_ She stepped closer. She was beautiful, dressed in a simple black dress, but it wasn’t what caught his attention. It was her eyes, now dark, looking straight into his. The silver waters of Palaven hugged her like she was a creature of the water, a vision of home. _

 

_ “Saren” she spoke, her voice so quiet, he barely heard it “You’re here.” _

_ “Yes. But what are you doing here?” he asked, not moving an inch. She stepped closer, drawing her hands on the surface of the water. _

_ “Why am  _ **_I_ ** _ here? Why are  _ **_you_ ** _ here? You should leave.” _

_ “What?” he asked, stunned. _

_ She stepped even closer, now only a couple inches away “You don’t belong here.” _

_ “Where?” He felt uncomfortable. Now, there was something in her that rubbed him the wrong way. He felt his limbs go numb, and they became harder to move with every second. What was happening? _

_ “You don’t belong on my ship!” she snapped “You’re with the reapers!” _

_ “What?” he was stunned, and he couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. Everything was suddenly blurry and distant, his head started spinning. _

_ “You cannot change. You helped Sovereign. You will help the rest of them too.” He wanted to object, but at this point no words were coming out of his mouth. He couldn’t move or speak, let alone think. Jane’s face was now covered in darkness, and she took one more step to reach him. She put her lips to his ear, and whispered: _

_ “You disgusting fucking reaper lover...” _   
  


 

* * *

 

Saren breathed rapidly for air as he sat up in his bed with his heart racing, all of his muscles numb. He kicked down his sheets, startled by the lack of sensation when it touched his legs. He moved to the edge of the bed and jumped off, and as soon as he stepped on his leg, he felt the familiar pain of blood rushing back into them. He exhaled and stood there for a couple of seconds before sitting back down. He buried his head in his palms and tried to calm down.

Deep breaths…. He needed to go see the punching bags.

  
  


* * *

 

 

“All I’m saying is that a little rest will not hurt” explained Garrus as they walked down to the docks. Shepard was now done with most of the things she had to do: she met the Council, arranged new resources for the Normandy and managed to beat up the same reporter for the third time in three years, which was Garrus’ favourite part. He accompanied her all day and she was really grateful for that; running around alone and dealing with political shit was not her favourite thing at the moment, not when one of her best friends was lying dead. “Taking a shore leave might get you some long needed calm.”

“We’re on a shore leave right now, Garrus..”

He rolled his eyes: “You know I’m not talking about taking a day to run errands and waste your time on the Council. We need at least a couple of days off and have a giant, disgraceful party that we’re all going to regret the next day.”

She laughed at the proposal, already seeing the turian lying on the floor, trying to convince everyone that he is still the best sniper of the galaxy, even when on the floor blacking out.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked in a teasing way but there was an honest smile on his face. Making his best friend smile in such times was his speciality, and he always took pride in a job well done.

“That is a grand idea, dinosaur”

“Well, aren’t I the smartest dinosaur in all existence?” she laughed again, her voice ringing through the docks. “Anyways, that would be a perfect opportunity to watch Fleet & Flotilla.. It’s a ridiculous movie, you’d love it!”

“Shouldn’t you watch that with Tali??” she winked, fully aware of the contents of the movie, having watched it herself many times now. It was her favourite cheesy romance movie, it always made her laugh. Garrus did not know that.

“What? No. Tali’s not here anyways..” he said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Uh-huh...” Jane sent a knowing smirk in his direction, disbelief in her voice, but he wasn’t paying attention anymore. He looked straight ahead into the elevator access corridor. Jane looked where Garrus was looking, and she noticed Kaidan leaning to the wall, waiting.

He noticed them too, and straightened his posture.

“Shepard, Garrus” he greeted them.

“I’ll let you work this out. I’ll be on the Normandy.” said Garrus and he left towards the elevator.

“Hi Kaidan.”

An awkward silence settled in immediately. Jane crossed her hands and leaned on her right leg, watching the visibly conflicted Kaidan trying to find the words he wanted to say.

“If you want to bitch about everything that I’ve done, don’t even start.” Jane eventually said, not wanting to have bullshit thrown at her again. She understood that Kaidan was confused with all that has happened, but he also wasn’t giving any credit to her accomplishments. It honestly annoyed her.

“That is not why I’m here.” he started. A look of question appeared on Jane’s face, so he continued “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I just didn’t know what to think after… you were gone… ” he coughed “And then returned with Cerberus. We just didn’t have that bond that we used to have anymore, and it made me go crazy...”

At this point Jane wanted to roll her eyes at him so hard, but she tried to not disrespect his apology. Exactly what kind of bond was he talking about? There was nothing between them, ever… they weren’t even best friends. She just couldn’t follow this man’s bumpy logic.

“And then you ended up chasing us, with none other than Saren on your side, and you said Udina was dirty… I’m sorry. It’s just that a lot happened really quickly. It’s hard to have a gun pointed at you by someone so close.” He seemed genuine, and Shepard knew seeing Saren on her side could not have been easy. Ash and Kaidan were fairly close before she died, and that was caused by Saren. She understood how hard it must be working with people you despise.

“It’s all right Kaidan, I would also be skeptical if I were you.” she said, a soft smile on her face.

“Thanks. But.. that’s not the only reason why I’m here.” he started “Hackett offered me a position, but… I’d turn it down any day to work on the Normandy again.”

She smiled.

“Well then, you can pack” she replied “We need all the help we can get.” Kaidan smiled and she walked away. “We leave tonight, so report on the bridge on the double” she commanded, then stepped into the elevator. She wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but she knew Kaidan was a strong biotic, which they lacked at the moment. She hoped this would turn out all right, and if not, she can always think of something. She pressed the button and the elevator took her to the bay where the Normandy parked. As soon as she stepped on the ship and found no one on it yet apart from Garrus, the darkness started creeping in.

Her thoughts were again around Thane and Mordin, and her hands suddenly started shaking. Tension started building in her chest and she suddenly felt sick. She needed to calm down, so she headed in the direction of the only thing that calmed her down whenever she needed to. She was down in the shuttle bay in a minute, but as she walked towards the gym, she started hearing noises.

It sounded like as if someone was battling, but struggling really hard. She could clearly hear the bags being destroyed, but also caught up on some unrecognizable curses her translator struggled with. She opened the door, and found the room completely destroyed, with a shirtless Saren in the middle.

All of the punching bags apart from one - which he was battling with at the moment - were completely destroyed, and he was standing in the middle of the chaos, destroying the last one as well. He was so immersed in his ritual, he didn’t notice her entering, which hinted at the level of concentration he had. Turians had superior hearing, that included hearing the heartbeats of most of the squishy races from steps away, and therefore it was almost impossible to sneak up on any of them.

But she succeeded, by accident. What an achievement, she thought to herself as a smile spread across her face. She leaned to the wall and just watched him.

He struck at the bag like it was his mortal enemy, and punch after punch, the bag was giving in to him. This was spectre grade equipment Shepard bought from special stock, and he was going through it like paper. He moved fast, but she always knew his best was not in speed, but in force. His muscles streched with every strike, each resulting in the bag giving noises of horror, and she imagined enemies in the place of the bag.

No wonder everyone was afraid of him, he was a real destroyer. And now he noticed her.

His bright blue eyes fixed on her suddenly, and as he exhaled, he instinctively flexed his talons while he removed his hands from the bag, ripping the poor punching bag open. Coarse sand started flowing out of it in the middle.

“Fucking finally!” he panted, growling at her with anger in his eyes “I thought you’d never come back. These bags serve me no purpose...” There was a hunger in his eyes, like he needed a pray, someone who was strong enough to entertain him. She took a couple of steps, ending up inches away from his face.

He was an extraordinary sight.

He towered over her, tall and muscular, and his plates were pale as snow. His whole chest and shoulders moved with every ragged breath, his fingers flexing, waiting for the fight, hungry for the damage. Her chest suddenly sank from anticipation. She came here to beat her sadness out and had found the perfect opponent once again. And he was waiting for her too.

“Those bags are spectre grade, and you destroyed them like they’re cheap geth” she hissed, her husky voice waking his predatory instincts “What are you going to train with now?” she teased.

“You” he demanded. His resolve was solid, his look piercing.

“What an answer” she laughed, and in a second, they were at each other’s throats.

They were cruel.

Saren concentrated on working out the injury he got from that damn assassin and Jane focused on forgetting the darkness inside of her mind - and it worked surprisingly well. They didn’t fight like how they did last time, but much harder. Strike followed after strike and they both got lost in a second. There was no time or space anymore, they just both took their rage out on each other, or  _ with  _ each other. It was hard to tell from how the world revolved around them as they spinned, flying into the sand, crushing into the wall, falling on the floor. With every move they sank deeper into their own minds. They quickly destroyed the room in their wrath, and it wasn’t long before the smell of blood started lingering in the air.

 

* * *

 

“So, here” Garrus said, showing Kaidan the gym that Kaidan who just arrived and did not have the chance to check that room out yet. The major looked around, and Garrus continued: “It’s a bit different from before, we have more stuff in it now...”

Weirdly, he stopped in the middle of his sentence and as Kaidan walked further into the bay, Garrus looked to the side in silence.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, but Garrus said nothing. His nose plates moved as if he smelled something, and his mandibles clicked in anxiousness. Then Kaidan heard it. Noises emanated from the corner of the bay, noises similar to a fight. His thoughts immediately wandered to Saren who was also on the ship, and he immediately started in the direction he heard the voices from. Garrus followed him. There was a door in the corner.

“The gym” was all Garrus said, and he took a step backwards. The display on the door indicating the status was going crazy - it went from green to red suddenly. After a few seconds they heard a loud thud and it went to green again, only to turn yellow and start crashing, as if someone was giving unclear instructions. He smelled the blood and heard the fight, and he already knew they were sparring. 

“That bastard!” Kaidan’s face went pale as she heard Shepard’s cry. He stepped forward in haste to access the door when Garrus caught him by the shoulder and pulled him back. That was his luck.

Not even a second later, the display suddenly turned to green again, the door swooshed open, and Saren practically flew out of the gym, right towards Kaidan. A cry of pain escaped his throat as he crashed onto the ground, blue blood covering his lips. Shepard was not far behind, as a second later she was on Saren, landing a blow in his face.

The turian reached up and caught her by the throat, his talons digging into her skin and he turned her as they went. He crashed her to the ground and held her by the neck. He leaned down on her, looking right into her eyes.

“Not bad” he exhaled, then released her neck and stood straight up. Every part of his body was crying from pain, and he could see the same on Jane, even though she was already getting up like nothing had happened.

“What the hell was that??” came a voice from the side, and Saren met the eyes of a very angry, worried and confused Kaidan.

Saren looked at Jane, ignoring Kaidan without a second thought, and asked: “Are you recruiting idiots now too?”

Garrus and Jane started laughing at the same time.

“Kaidan, we were sparring” she smiled while casually taking Saren’s hand who helped her up. “It’s one of my favourite turian customs, it keeps you on your toes.”

Kaidan’s face was blank as a white wall, still processing the information. Sparring? Turian customs? If she wanted to spar, why did she chose Saren and not him? He was a human after all, he would have been a much better choice.

The two turians left in the meantime and Shepard remained there with Kaidan.

“It’s all right, Kaidan, don’t worry” Jane said softly, wiping the blood off her lips. It was a hell of a fight, and even though every bone in her body was screeching in pain, it was worth it. Nothing could work her out like a sparring session with Saren did.

“It’s all right?” he snapped “Shepard, he’s a lot stronger than you, you don’t even have armor on! Not to mention that if his goal is to betray you, you’re giving him a free try!”

Now that was a reaction, she thought. She crossed her arms and sank into her right hip.

“You think I’m not as strong as him?” a smile spread across her face.

“No, I mean, yes - Wait, what?”

She laughed.

  
  


* * *

 

 

The two turians entered the elevator, and Saren pushed the button. They heard Shepard and Kaidan’s conversation, but as the doors closed silence settled on them. In the same moment, Garrus moved like lightning, and crushed Saren to the wall of the elevator so hard, the metal let out a blunt sound on impact.

“I don’t care about you sparring, or whatever the fuck that was” he growled aggressively, his face inches away from Saren’s. “But if you draw another drop of her blood again, I’m going to rid you of your pale scales one by one!”

The fire in his eyes was vicious, not bearing any resistance.

Saren’s mandibles clicked in a smile, baring his teeth.

“She’s not some weak daisy, you should know that by now” he said, confident, not afraid of the sniper.

“She’s not, but she’s under my protection. If you hurt her, you’ll regret it!”

Saren pushed him away, and Garrus’ back hit the other wall of the elevator.

“There’s only one problem with that” Saren growled “She’s not yours to protect!”

The elevator door opened, and he left Garrus there, boiling in anger.

  
  



	13. Confusion

  
  


_“You disgusting fucking reaper lover...”_

Just a dream.

Saren was sitting on his bed again, staring into nothing. The look Jane had in her eyes in his dreams have been haunting him. He had the same dream over and over again for days now, and every time it would just get worse. The night got darker, the water more troubled, her expression angrier. It replayed in his mind thousands of times everyday, more and more grotesk. It came to a point where he saw her on the bridge or in the mess hall and he would find himself growling under his breath. Dreams seeped into reality and her presence was only oil to the fire.

What the hell was he doing here? Following this woman, trying to fight and end a war that he himself helped to start. Why was he following orders? Why did he have to put up with all of this if he could just leave, hijack some ship and figure this out on his own? He had done this all his life and it always worked. But he needed Jane.

Jane…

He needed a drink.

He went to the bar and reached in the fridge for the horosk, and pulled it out. He grabbed a glass and... he just noticed it wasn’t horosk, but some batarian ale. Did he grab the wrong bottle? He looked back and the horosk was sitting right there in its place, so he reached back and this time pulled the correct bottle out. He opened it and in a fragment of a second dropped the bottle, and the expensive drink exploded on the floor. He was stunned for a moment. Never in his life did he accidently drop any booze.

“What the hell” he mumbled, frustrated. His head was killing him it hurt so much, and now this. He gave up on having a drink and decided to train. Maybe that will take the edge off.

  


* * *

  


The shuttle ride back to the ship from Eden Prime was strange to say the least. There was now a new addition to the team: Javik, the only prothean. The ghost of vengeance. When Shepard exited the cargo hold after talking to the prothean, she wasn’t sure what to believe. The protheans were not like how anyone had imagined them: they were severe, thinking in extremes. They enslaved the other races in their cycle, which ended up becoming their weakness against the reapers. One strategy, one way to destroy all civilization.

The thought of this cycle suffering the same fate sent shivers down her spine. They went through so much, lost so much, it was terrible to think of the possibility that they may not succeed. In which case everything would be lost again. Every world, every life, every memory they ever had, and all chance for a life worth living. They needed to win. They had to find a way, there was no other option.

And if they win? If she ends up living once this is all over, what will happen then, what will she do? Settle down? Have some kids? With who? Nah… she thought as she walked through the door to her cabin and stopped in front of the fish tank.

She’d have no kids, she had no idea about how to lead a normal life or have proper motivations, goals. She was living for the fight, the war, and she loved it. She loved it like Saren did. She knew he did.

She stepped closer to the fish tank and examined herself. She looked horrible. Her eyes lost their shine, her skin was faded. She didn’t really sleep since the Citadel got attacked and Thane died.

And once again, on the thought of Thane, Mordin came into her mind and her stomach was already in nuts. She felt sick, and she decided to sit down. She needed the rest, but everytime she closed her eyes and managed to drift off, Mordin and Thane would come back, only as faint echoes, their voices drifting off into the distance, leaving her. She wanted to hear them, talk to them, but they were gone. Sitting on her bed, she buried her face in her hands and listened to the silence.

  


* * *

  


“All right, we’re done here.” said Dr. Chakwas to Javik. The doctor was completing some tests on him to see if he was fine after the cryosis, but it appeared he had no issues. The prothean disappeared through the door without saying anything as fast as he could.

He started wandering around the ship, familiarizing himself with the layout, the colours, all the other species. He touched a lot of things: reading in the markers, deciphering this place to get to know the crew without having to talk to them. He wasn’t one for talking, only action. As he went through every level, he eventually ended up in the mess hall that was currently empty. He stopped in front of a big chunk of metal near the elevator, that had names written on it. It was a memorial wall.

It reminded him of his own people.

The ones that were left behind.

It was too much for him so soon, everything was so fresh, so sudden, painful. He turned to leave the place and after wondering a bit, he ended up in a room looking over the stars. He walked to the observation window and gazed into the darkness in front of him. He stood there for a couple of minutes, before he started to smell something. He looked for the source, and had found it behind the counter of the bar. It was a broken bottle of some sort of drink, that read “horosk”. He reached down to try and examine what was left of it, out of sheer curiosity - he did not think that in this cycle it was protocol to leave mess behind -, and as his hand reached above the broken glass, his mind went vivid with pictures.  


_He saw a turian, alone, talking to a reaper projection, strength and fear in his heart, melting into sheer aggression in front of his eyes. The color of his eyes flowed with blue, the images from the beacons going over in his mind, again and again._

_Pain._

_The visions, spreading through every moment, every step, tearing him apart. The pressure, the fear of losing his mind, indoctrination. The pictures were faster and faster, each crazier and more crooked than the one before, but there was one that remained. After a while it seeped into every other picture, almost as an undercurrent: a note that sang, flowed through the memories and kept them sticking together. It was a face, a face of a woman._

_It was Shepard. For a split second it lit up, clear as water, then disappeared, and the rest blurred together like a painful mesh of endless suffering and suppression._ _And for a tiny, short, clear moment, her face came up again. It was troubled, she was in pain, screams on her lips, a gun dropped from her hand, running towards the turian, begging him to fight._

_Then the darkness._

Javik fell back as he returned to reality, trying to catch the corner of the bar, but almost slipped in the process. His heart was racing. He never had a reading as troubled as this one before, ever, and it startled him.

  


* * *

  
  


Jane was making tea in the mess hall, and once done, she sat down next to Donnelly and Daniels, continuing their conversation.

“So, essentially yes, we’re going into the heart of the battle with the geth.” she explained “Tali is an Admiral now, you know!”

“I always knew she was bound to be more than just an engineer” Gabbie said.

“That’s right” Jane smiled at the thought of her friend, but that smile quickly evaporated as someone barged into the mess hall, disrupting their conversation. It was Javik: the prothean entered without any greetings, and immediately turned to Shepard, slapping his hands on the top of the table.

“Why didn’t you tell me there was a reaper on board?!” he shouted aggressively. Jane stood up. “What?”

“The turian, Saren Arterius, is a half-reaper!” he argued, and even though the term wasn’t entirely correct, it was serious.

“He’s not half…- Wait, how do you know that?” she asked with a confused look, and Javik just went off in his rage:

“I can feel everything I touch, in case you forgot” he started arrogantly “That broken bottle of horosk was filled with that monster’s memories, I know everything.”

Broken bottle? Saren broke the horosk?

She was pale as a white wall, confused suddenly, her headache returning. She could not understand how Saren came to breaking the horosk he loved so much.

“Look” she raised her hand to her temple in agony “Saren is on our side now. He decided to fight the reapers, and he already helped us a bunch, so please don’t do anything stupid..”

“Stupid??” he shouted “He aided Sovereign! You should kill him while you still have the chance, not bringing him around with you! He’s a sleeping agent of the reapers, and he’s going to strike when you least expect it! He’ll be the death of this cycle!”

“You can say all of that into my face, you insect!” The voice that came from the elevator was a familiar, low baritone that went through the mess like lightning.

“Oh no” said Kenneth, half amused and fearful, as Saren entered the scene. Javik’s face was now filled with disgust. Just what Jane needed after a week of not sleeping.

“If you call me an insect one more time, I will rip your guts out” Javik hissed, the two aliens getting dangerously close to each other now. Shepard jumped between them to prevent any mishaps. She spread her hands defensively, trying to separate the two before colliding.

“Stop right there, both of you!” she commanded.

“Your foolishness will doom this cycle if you continue trusting this monster” Javik started “He’s not going to get better. He was indoctrinated once, and no matter how hard you try, he will be once again. On that day, I’m going to rip his flesh out.”

“Javik, stop!” her voice started to become frantic, her anger building up. The two aliens still glared at each other in a fighting stance, ready to hit in any second. “You don’t have to trust him, but we need him, just as much as we need you. He’s staying, you’re staying, so work it out!”

Javik looked at Jane, his eyes dark with anger, but eventually after a moment that seemed like eternity, he stormed off, leaving the scene. Jane turned to Saren, who had a different face on compared to what she was expecting. Instead of the anger, the fire, he was staring at his feet almost as if he was lost in thought. His eyes were dull, staring into nothing, like he lost all of his thoughts. His mandibles were pressed to his jaw, anxious.

“Saren” she called his name. He returned back to life and raised his head to look at her. His eyes immediately lit up with anger, but not towards Javik, towards her, she could feel it.

“I don’t need you to play priest” he snapped “I would have broken that worm in half, if it weren’t for you!”

“I will not allow that, you know” she said “Anyways, he was wrong about you.”

Saren’s body tensed for a second, then a wrath filled his eyes that came very suddenly out of nowhere, leaving her no time to prepare. His talons wrapped around one of her arms, and squeezed it hard as he pulled her towards him. She hissed from the pain.

“I don’t need your shitty protection!” he shouted into her face.

Jane was confused at his behaviour, but she was too stunned at the same time. As a reflex, she immediately pulled her hand away:

“If you touch me once again, you can head to the airlock or I’ll throw you out myself!”

“Grand idea!” he shouted, already turning away and storming off to the elevator, just like Javik did a minute ago. Jane just stood there for a second, puzzled, still figuring out what the hell just happened.

“Commander, are you okay?” asked Gabbie, pulling Jane out of her thoughts.

“I’m fine!” was all she said before she too disappeared from the hall. The two engineers ust sat there, baffled.

  


* * *

  
  


Saren entered his bunk and sat down into the chair so vehemently, the poor piece of furniture cried out in protest. Javik’s insults still rang in his ear. The anger that built in him was unstoppable, and it sucked him dry. Indoctrination… memories filled his mind with dark terror, and he felt his grip on reality slipping.

He grabbed the green device he’s been working on for the past days, and tried to continue the work on it to take his mind off of the shit that was happening, but his hands just weren’t doing the job. He had no idea what he was doing, he just lost control. Eventually, he managed to slam the tool right into the electric panel, messing up the fine mechanics on it.

“FUCK!” he cried out, slamming the tool to the wall. He stood up and started pacing around the room, holding the little device in his hand. His head was killing him, and he raised a hand to put on his forehead. Every inch of his body ached at this point, and the rage building in him just wasn’t stopping. His conversation with Javik was foggy and distant, almost like it didn’t even happen just minutes ago. When he mentioned indoctrination, he just lost his mind and his whole body shut down... Jane’s voice eventually bringing him back into reality.

Jane…

She looked like hell. Her eyes were glowing with sadness and pain, her features were tired and her skin pale. She was probably tired of his shit, and he knew she wanted him off the Normandy. The dreams were right: he did not belong here.

He put the device back down on the table. He couldn’t find his place: training wasn’t working, drinking wasn’t working, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t sleep and couldn’t even talk to Jane with how things were standing. He even grabbed her arm when there was no need. He felt like he was going crazy.

  


* * *

  


Cold water started running and Jane looked in the mirror.

She thought about what Javik said.

Saren broke the horosk. This was something she just couldn’t place in her mind: why would Saren break his favourite drink? Did he get sloppy with it? Does Saren even get sloppy? He was a spectre, an excellent fighter and his movement coordination had always been exceptional. He must have broken it in his anger.

He was also so stunned after Javik’s comments, like his brain stopped working. She washed her face and hurried to her console to prepare for Rannoch, but her mind was not at the right place. After the initial difficulties, they started to get along with Saren quite well. They were great in combat together, they had friendly banter even, but for the last days she only felt anger coming from him. He probably noticed how ragged she looked… and was now disgusted by her.

The way he grabbed her arm… it left her feeling weird after she knew how gentle his hands have been with her before, when he touched her hand. It felt like that was gone forever.


	14. Build-up

  
  
  


_ She was in the forest again. The flow of shadows never stopped, they followed, cornered her. She could barely move as everything became foggy and wet, the darkness creeping into everything. She heard Thane’s voice, heard Mordin’s song as it danced in the distance, but she could not reach them, it doesn’t matter how hard she tried. Then she heard another voice. A voice that was deep as darkspace as it rang around her, like a ghost. _

**_“It’s too strong!”_ **

_ She stood up, trying to find Saren, turning and looking everywhere, desperately running to reach him, but all that she was left with was his voice. _

**_“Jane”_ ** _ it called her, searching for her. From the distance it sounded again: _

**_“You already know me better than those rats.”_ **

  
  


* * *

  
  


She opened her eyes, slowly, like she was waking from a sleep of a thousand years. She looked at the clock and it was only half an hour later. She felt like she couldn’t take it anymore. They were en route to Rannoch to help the quarians, and her stomach was in nuts. What if something happens? What if she loses Tali or Garrus too? What if the reapers win?

She sat up. Her hands were shaking, her body was craving rest, but her brain could not stop. She had the same dreams, over and over again and now Saren was in them. She curled up, trying to shake the thought of not being able to see him again.

She couldn’t.

She knew there was still a couple hours until they reach the relay to Rannoch. She somehow had to eliminate that time, make it pass faster, but there was nothing she could do. She left her quarters the way she was, in her casuals, and stepped out of the elevator like a ghost. She started for the bridge, not even knowing her destination. On her way, she felt something, and she looked up.

She stopped immediately.

Saren was standing in front of her, leaving the bridge, just noticing her and stopping in his tracks. Their eyes met, and she couldn’t hide her agony. She knew she looked like a mess, she knew he saw it, there was no going back. She couldn’t keep her face up any longer, even if he was disappointed in her. He was so strong, but she felt crushed. He stood there, frozen in time, not an inch of his body moving.

He was looking at Jane, just noticing her. She looked like a zombie, and he could not stand it. He didn’t know why did he even care, but it moved something in him. He didn’t care for anyone, ever, but this woman was so different, he just couldn’t ignore her. He stood there, waiting for her to come at him, scold him for the way he talked to her yesterday, but again, she surprised him. Her face turned even paler, her eyebrows raised a bit, and he could swear he saw something glisten in her eyes. But no rage.

He knew she was disappointed in him. He did nothing, nothing to win this war and she was right. He did not belong on this ship, he didn’t belong anywhere. Since that mission on the Citadel, he lost his strength, maybe his half existence was catching up to him.

He couldn’t look into her eyes like this.

She noticed him dropping his head, and just as if she was a ghost, he passed her by, and left the bridge. The sorrow she felt almost trapped the air in her lungs. She didn’t need something anymore to pass time, because after this, it just faded away, and she circled on the ship like a lingering ghost.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


By the time the quarian admirals boarded the ship, Jane was just a shell of her old self. At this point she wasn’t sleeping properly for more than a week. They gathered in the war room for a quick meeting.

“Seventeen days ago, the quarians initiated a war to retake our homeworld” explained Gerrel. Koris interrupted him:

“That was a clear violation of the treaty with the Citadel to avoid provoking the geth!”

“What’s a little violation compared to retake Rannoch?” asked Xen.

“We lost the homeworld, because we tried to kill the geth!”

“We didn’t kill them, we tried to deactivate them. It wasn’t murder!” she argued. It was clear that the admirals weren’t even clear on their own history, and the arguments that spanned from this will doom their people. Jane raised a hand to her temple in agony.

“Nope. It  **was** murder.” she added “And now you’re on the geth again?”

“We had driven the geth back to the home system, when this signal started broadcasting” said Gerrel, bringing up a holo of Rannoch “It’s a reaper signal. Under their control the geth are significantly more effective. They are destroying our Civilian fleet.”

“Which you decided to involve! We are killing our own people in the process!” said Koris, visibly angry.

“Where is the signal coming from?” Jane asked. Just as she finished her question, the door swooshed open and revealed a familiar face: Tali stepped into the war room.

“A geth dreadnought” she said, approaching Shepard. The commander’s face lit up a bit, but she knew Tali was a professional. They nodded to each other, then Tali continued: “We need to disable the broadcasting signal from inside that ship. The Normandy can take us in.”

“While you can retreat with your fleet and regroup.” Jane added, eyeing the other admirals. “I’ll ready a team to hit the dreadnought.”

“Thank you commander.” nodded Raan. After that, they all dismissed themselves from the Normandy, apart from Tali, who stayed with Jane. They entered the meeting room, and started off their conversation with a big hug.

“Keelah, Shepard, you look like you’re dead!” she hissed with not a small amount of worry in her voice. Jane stepped back and turned around so Tali couldn’t see her face.

“It’s nothing serious, just a bit of stress.” she dismissed, even though she felt like shit.

“I’m sorry about Mordin and Thane. We all miss them a lot.” Tali said in a grieving tone, her head dropped.

“Yeah...” Jane sighed, not being able to say more. She was dry, lost.

“Is… your new guest coming with us on the mission?” Tali changed the topic. Jane knew she was talking about Saren: she knew about him practically from the first day they picked him up, considering they were exchanging emails almost every week. Tali did not like this Saren situation at all, but she couldn’t deny the fact that it would have been a great waste of resource to leave him. And knowing Shepard, she wasn’t worried about Saren being here. Jane was always a lot different than the other humans, and she was surprised that Saren didn’t switch sides sooner. The way they fought on Virmire or the Citadel, it was apparent that there was a strange dynamic between them from the first second they met.

“He has to” Jane started, turning around. Her face was uncomfortable, and she looked like she wasn’t really keen on bringing him along. Something was really off here, Tali thought. Jane continued: “I need your knowledge and Saren’s experience. He worked with the geth before, he’ll be able to maneuver us on the dreadnought.”

Tali wanted to ask why she seemed to resent the idea of Saren coming with them, but she decided not to push the topic. She seemed ragged and tired, and they had a whole mission ahead of them. She’ll talk to her afterwards.

  
  


* * *

 

 

The little quarian Jane brought with her to the mission proved quite useful. While Saren was adept at finding his way on the ship, this Tali was opening and bypassing every door that was in their way. She also strangely did not seem upset about him being around: she looked right through him, not bothered by his presence. Saren had the feeling this girl knew about him residing on the Normandy… maybe she was also close to Jane.

But despite everything, something was not right. He missed a couple of shots, and it started to anger him. On top of everything, Jane did not respond to any of his moves. She was operating like any other human marine on the battlefield, and the usual playfulness and upfront tactics were nowhere to be found. She was heavy, unresponsive and almost cautious. There were thousands of chances to show off her powers, but she never did. It was strange, frustrating, but also easier on him at the same time. Because by the time they got to the drive core, his head was pounding like there was no tomorrow.

But once they entered the drive core of the ship, Jane’s mood shifted somewhat. There was a geth unit there, who was their friend apparently: This was “Legion” she talked about after Tuchanka. The geth who turned on the rest of his kind. It seemed even the quarian was friendly towards Legion. 

[You need to free us, Shepard Commander] Legion said [Through our networking architecture, the core broadcasts the reaper signal to all geth, simultaneously.]

“Motherfuckers” was all Saren commented, his voice low and dangerous.

Legion talked them through the process of freeing him from the physical restraints, and he was back in business in no time. He also managed to disable all shields and weapons of the dreadnought in the process. In any other scenario, Saren would have been impressed by this one little geth, but he was so disoriented, he had no strength to say anything anymore.

The mission was quite smooth up until this point from an operational perspective, but it quickly went to hell. The remainder of the geth attacked them, and because the ship was now vulnerable, Admiral Gerrel wanted to use this opportunity and started firing on the geth dreadnought - with them still on board. The man was never bright, but this was too much.

They escaped in a geth fighter.

 

* * *

  
  


“You colossal asshole!” screamed Jane, her voice thick with anger as she ran through the war room. The admirals gathered there, arguing, but she was aiming at Gerrel. “We were still on the ship!” Saren stopped at the door, observing Jane’s actions.

“Commander, the tactical advanta-” he started the argument, but he couldn’t finish it. Jane landed a blow right into his stomach, and the quarian tumbled away, falling on the console behind him. Tali and Saren smiled, but Jane didn’t stop there. She pushed Garrel on the computer, shouting right into his helmet “Get the fuck off my ship, now!”

And with that, she released him. The admiral shot an angered look at her, but he had no choice, so he left the room.

“Bosh’tet” Tali murmured as the doors closed behind her.

“So” Jane sighed “You mentioned they had a planetary defence cannon?” And with that, her rage was gone. At times she acted like she was dead, then glimpses of the old Jane showed up, and then she suppressed everything. Her mood was changing like the wind. Saren didn’t understand.

“Had” Raan replied “Admiral Koris took it out with his ship, but they crash-landed on Rannoch.”

“We’ll provide rescue efforts.”

“Thank you. At least we have the cannon and the reaper-signal countered.”

The door swooshed open again.

[Shepard Commander] in walked Legion [We offer assistance.] Jane’s expression distorted as she realized his friend just walked into meeting Raan and Xen.

“What the hell is this?” Raan shouted, taking a step back. This conversation started to be amusing for Saren, as he watched from the sidelines. They were so caught up in everything they didn’t even realize who he was.

“Okay, calm down!” Shepard explained “His name is Legion, he helped me fight the collectors, he’s on our side. The reapers used him as a signal booster on the dreadnought, but we freed him.”

“Impressive” said Xen as the surprise went away, and curiosity took over her voice “Maybe we could use this unit to find a hole on the geth consensus, and maybe-”

“You cannot touch him” interrupted Jane immediately “He’s my friend, and he’s off the table!”

Saren was wondering what this one geth unit meant to Shepard. She was defending it furiously, just like how she did with Tali and the others. And while she appeared strong at the moment, the bags under her eyes were still present, reminding him that just like him, Jane wasn’t feeling well either. He was confused. He missed twice on this mission, he was tired, now all of his muscles hurt, and in a state like this, he could not wrap his head around why Jane was this disoriented. He knew she was strong, so he did not understand her weakness now. What had happened to her?

Admiral Xen sighed, giving up on Legion. “All right. At least we have the reaper signal disabled, so we’re through the worst, I think.”

[That is incorrect] Legion noted [You have destroyed long-range control, but the Old Machines have placed a base on Rannoch to broadcast the signal.]

“What?” the quarians hissed as one.

[They are currently disorganized, but once the short-range broadcast starts, they’ll recover.]

That was it. They decided to take a party to Rannoch to infiltrate the base.

Jane just left the room and went up to her cabin to catch her breath. There was no time for anything, they needed to act immediately. She talked to Legion and Tali, and just went for the shuttle. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren was standing at the shuttle, waiting for the others.

His bones were so heavy, he couldn’t keep his back straight. His whole body was aflame and he had no idea why this was happening. He needed to see Dr. Chakwas after this mission, there was something very wrong with him, he could not deny it any further. Just as he worked this out in himself, he saw Jane rounding the corner.

She reached him, and came to open the shuttle doors, his eyes following her. Instead of pressing the button, her finger stopped mid air, and she turned her head towards him. They looked at each other, and Saren was waiting for the shitstorm that he still didn’t get.

She just looked so terrible, it was impossible to think that everything was okay. And this time she did not remain silent.

Jane’s pale lips opened, and she quietly spoke:

“I promise we’ll soon find you some reapers to destroy.” as she finished her sentence, a humble, honest smile spread across her face. It lit up her whole being, even her almond eyes narrowed a bit.

This hit Saren like a freight train. For a second there, he saw the usual Jane, the playful, unpredictable, excellent soldier, who used to dance around him on the battlefield, wrecking everything. His mandibles fluttered unconsciously, taken aback by the sudden warmth of her being. All he did was a stern nod, and watched her entering the vehicle. As her sweet cherry scent filled the shuttle, he decided to sit next to her, for some unknown reason. He had a feeling this mission would go down the shitter. He needed to stay with her.

 

 


	15. Panic

  
  


Stepping on the soil of Rannoch was a moment both Jane and Tali will never forget, but Saren couldn’t care less. He just wanted to be through with this whole thing. Considering they didn’t have much time, they proceeded quickly. They went through the reaper base with not a lot of problems, Legion was diverting most of the geth from them, and the rest they could take on easily. The problem there was, that the geth covered the signal base with a blast shield, so there was no way for the Normandy to punch through that.

[There is a control room on the far side of the complex that you can use to override the blast door controls.]

“Thanks Legion” Jane purred into the comms “Okay, let’s go.” It seemed like she was a bit more relaxed compared to the previous mission, but she still looked like crap. She wasn’t really pushing her boundaries on the battlefield, and she moved quite sloppy, but it was a bit more fluid. Saren now intended to find out what the hell was off with her.

Geth primes just flooded them from every direction, and navigating the base proved difficult with the enemies swarming at them. Not to mention that Saren’s whole body was on fire at this point: It was harder and harder to concentrate with his bones weighing tons, and his muscles flexing and burning for no reason. Everything was so hot, the air heavy, his moves became slow. He was busy shooting one of them, cracking the armor and eventually finishing it, when he heard Jane’s cry.

“Saren!”

He turned his head to the right, where her voice was coming from, instantly seeking what could have gone wrong. But his sight was blocked by a giant, grey coloured geth prime, charging right at him.

“Saren, move!” Jane screamed from the distance. She didn’t fire a single shot, she was afraid of hitting Saren instead. Eventually a shot was fired.

The prime fell right back, its face searing from the close shot, and revealed a very disturbed looking Saren, holding his gun in his hand, almost looking puzzled. He fired a lot later than he wanted to.

“What is wrong with him?” Tali asked quietly. She knew enough of Saren to recognize this was way too slow of a reaction from him. But Jane didn’t answer, she just stared at the turian, then they proceeded.

The console was not far away, so they reached it successfully and locked themselves in the room. As Tali began to type away on it to lift the lock, Jane turned around to take a look at Saren. He was standing near the wall, silent and motionless, scanning the floor with his eyes. She slowly stepped over to him.

“Is everything all right?” she asked, whispering. He looked at her and saw the exhaustion in her eyes. They both looked like crap. What a mess.

“I should ask you the same question.” he murmured, his breath heavy. He heard her heart throb in her chest at his question. Something was indeed wrong. They shared a glance, and found that none of them had the strength to share.

“You deserve each other” interrupted Tali who just finished with the console, and was now standing next to them “Let’s finish this mission.”

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


“The signal wasn’t just broadcasted by a transmitter” Tali added, following Shepard as they were running for their lives“It’s an actual reaper!”

[Shepard Commander, We have acquired a vehicle] came through the comms, and a small, geth vehicle popped up at the far end of the station.

“All right, move!” she shouted. The reaper was just emerging from the ground, and wasn’t on his full height yet, this was their only escape.

“How are we supposed to fight that thing?” Tali shouted.

“I was hoping your fleet might lend a hand!” confessed Jane. They jumped into the small ship and Legion stepped on the gas, propelling them through the underlying paths of the reaper base. The giant reaper behind them screamed again, and the walls of the complex shook, almost crushing them into the ground. Jane climbed on top of the vehicle at the main gun to follow the reaper’s position.

“Jane Shepard to the Migrant Fleet!” she screamed into her comms “It’s not a reaper base, it’s a live reaper! I need an orbital strike!”

And not even a minute later, a giant laser soared down from the sky, hitting the reaper right in the face. The monster fell down on the ground, and the red light turned black for a couple of seconds.

[What did we hit?] came the question from the quarian fleet.

“The targeting chamber, it looks like a weak spot, when it’s priming!” she replied, and ordered Legion to stop the vehicle immediately. “Pull over!”

[Damn it] cursed Gerrel [The jamming towers have us target manually, we’ll not be able to make a precision shot!]

[We can get away while it’s out, this is our only chance!] Legion argued, but Jane looked at him:

**“Pull over!** ” she demanded, her eyes aggressive, not bearing any resistance towards her. It seemed like the presence of the reaper woke up all of her instincts and now she was going on pure adrenalin. Legion stopped, and Jane jumped out of the vehicle at a cliff that was looking right over the reaper “Leave now, I’ll take care of the targeting!”

“You’re crazy!” jumped Saren too, looking at her from the door “You’ll be too close, it will crush you!”

She turned back, with all of her red hair in her face because of the wind. The reaper in the background started to move a bit, it’s targeting core light coming back to life. She shouted:

“Since when are you against doing crazy things?”

“Jane this is nuts, I’ll help!” he replied and took a step out the door, but she rushed to him, and delivered a punch right to his abdomen, kicking him back in the ride. He growled at her, but in the heat of the moment he was too stunned to be angry about it. Saren wanted to speak but she leaned into the vehicle and interrupted him.

“You will not help!” she reprimanded, almost screaming into his face “You drive away with Legion to a safe distance, and wait for my orders! I will not be second guessed with a reaper behind my back! “ she exhaled ”If I turn my back on this, the geth stay under reaper control, and the quarians are dead. If I run now, we lose everything!!”

“You idiot!” Saren stood up “You’re not the only member of this fucking ground team! Don’t kill yourself!”

“Legion, GO!” was all she said, and in a fraction of a second she stepped back and shut the door closed. A moment later, Saren fell back from the force as the ride got going.

“Fuck!” he cursed, and sat back on his seat. His heart rate was going off the charts, he felt his chest being filled with a darkness unfamiliar to him until now. His legs were tapping on the floor, his talons carved into the metal under him. The quarian next to him was staring, but did not say a word. He was pissed, so pissed at her, that he could wreck this car with his bare hands in a second. Why was she so stubborn? Why is she throwing her life away, when she was the only thing that could stop the reapers?

And that moment was the one, at the apex of his wrath, when he finally understood.

She stayed behind, and sent away the only ride, carrying two of her friends. The quarian, and that weird geth she loved so much. And him.

She was protecting her friends. She was protecting the only thing that she had, that he didn’t. That is why she was so kind to everyone, and why everybody loved her. That is why she was broken after Mordin died, and this is what caused her rage after Thane was stabbed. The only reason she looked so bad, so fucked up for days now, was because of fear.

Fear of losing them. Of losing  _ another  _ one.

Reality stopped for him.

She didn’t hate him, she didn’t want him off the ship, that’s not why she was so annoyed. She just wanted to keep them around as long as possible, even if that meant to let herself wither away… like the way she wanted to keep  _ him  _ around, when he was indoctrinated three years ago. And the question he asked Jane in the observation room after their little incident with that telescope…

_ “Why did you help me three years ago?” _

The answer to it was clear as the sun now.

It was the same reason why he wrapped his arms around her, when that reaper almost shot them.

He didn’t want to lose the only thing that meant anything to him.

Saren stood up, like all his strength returned, not caring for the pain anymore, and stepping through this weird geth vehicle like lightning. He crouched above Legion, and without saying a word, he slammed his hand into the control panel, stopping the ride at once.

“Saren, what are you-” asked Tali in the back, but she got no answer. The turian cracked the door open and practically flew out of it. She looked out, and saw him running right in the direction of the reaper, his legs moving so fast, his feet kicked up the sand high in the air. Turians indeed ran fast.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The reaper was close.

Extremely close. With her helping with targeting, and synching up the algorithm to the whole fleet, they had done some damage, shooting the reaper a couple times. But it was getting closer, and it was harder for her to move away from the laser that burned into the ground right next to her. But she did finish targeting one more time, and the monster got another dose of rockets into its face. She needed only one shot more, and that asshole would be finished. Just one more. She sighed, and the reaper was already back on its feet, towering over her, its core piercing right into her eyes.

Saren was running as fast as he could, but when he reached the edge of the cliff, he stopped. Jane was there, only the targeting gun in her hand. She was so close to the reaper, his breath almost stopped, as he’s never seen anything like this before.

The giant monster stood in the valley, its claws almost on the cliff, its targeting core a couple feet away from the tiny commander, with red hair flying around her face. The reaper was scorching hot, its metal plates simmering from the preceding orbital strikes, its core fully open and focused on Jane. He was rushing, jumping down to the cliff. Jane had only seconds before the laser would shoot, and he was so close. She didn’t have enough time to target, and get away from the laser at the same time. She’d either jump away before the targeting would finish and have no possible chance to do it again, or stay where she was, finishing the deed, but getting killed in the process.

He jumped.   
  


Jane was tackled just at the last moment, and she felt the reaper’s shot crushing to the ground next to her. Red light blinded her eyes, but she saw one thing: a mandible.

Saren?

They fell hard on the ground, and just a second later a giant explosion ripped through the sky. Heat rushed over them, and the turian pressed her hard to the rocks, defending her from the debris. From behind his shoulder she saw the reaper step back, tumble almost. Its core went black as it fell down, spreading through the valley like a disgusting insect.

She looked up and saw him rise from the ground, letting go of her, and helping her up with a hand.

“I told you to-” she started, but she was quickly interrupted:

“I didn’t come back from the dead for you to die halfway through!” he argued, almost in a reprimanding tone, his voice harsh, his eyes glowing from frustration. “You also promised me a reaper to kill, but it looks like that was a lie...” She opened her mouth in reply, but they both got cut off as a third voice sounded:

_ “Shepard. Arterius.” _

They looked in the reaper’s direction. It was lying in the valley, defeated, but its red light started flickering once again.

“You know us?” Jane asked without hesitation, taking a step closer.

_ “Harbinger speaks of you. But you will fail like all the others.” _

“We’re not like the others” Saren added, stepping next to Jane. “We’re not going to break your precious cycle...” he hissed, his voice rumbling into the valley “...We’ll destroy it!”

_ “Our power has blinded you, Arterius. Your delusion will be your death.” _

“No” Jane said “He’s right.” she looked at Saren, right into his eyes, gathering strength from the look in them “We’re not like the others. We stopped Sovereign, the Collectors, and we’re not just going to stop you-” her voice rang in the air like a battle cry. Tali and Legion appeared, listening in silence “We’re going to take back our worlds, and take away everything you have. We’ll bleed you out the same way you bled our friends and ancestors out. We’ll make you regret every life you’ve taken, a thousandfold!”

He heard her heart beating, it was so fast, she should have passed out by now. But she was unstoppable, standing there on the cliff like a rock, a statue of war. The revenge in her eyes mirrored in him, and he instinctively moved a step closer to her.

_ “We will recall these words when we crush you.”  _ hissed the reaper, before its core finally went black, and the pressure in the air lifted.

“Keelah, we killed a reaper!” Tali said as she stepped behind Shepard, who turned her back to the monster. Her hands were still clenched into fists as the shock still ruled her, but slowly her features relaxed somewhat.

Saren didn’t step away from the reaper, this was a perfect opportunity. He brought up his omni tool and started examining the corpse. In the meantime Legion and the fleet confirmed that the signal died, and the geth fleet stopped all hostile action.

[Shepard Commander] Legion started as he stepped closer to the reaper, standing just behind Saren [The geth only acted in defense after the creators attacked. Do we deserve death?]

Jane looked at him.

This was no question for her. Not to mention the support the geth would provide for the war effort, was immeasureable.

“What is your offer?” she asked.

[The reaper upgrades. With the old machine dead, we can upload it to all geth. But this time without losing individual independence.] he turned back to her [We’d be free.]

“What?” Tali stepped forward, worry in her voice “That would make them as smart as when the reapers controlled them!”

[Correct, but with free will. We would be alive, and we could help you.] Tali stayed silent this time, looking at Shepard. The fleet was already attacking, this could result in tragedy. [Do you remember the question Tali?  _ “Does this unit have a soul?” _ ]

“Upload the code.” said Jane, cold confidence in her voice. “Tali, call off the fleet if you can.”

Saren smiled to his omni tool. Perfect tactical decision.

[10%]

“Legion, please! Don’t do this!” cried Tali. Jane reached for the comms.

“All ships, this is Commander Jane Shepard. The reaper is dead, stand down.”

[Negative, keep firing!] came from Garrel.

“The geth are about to return to full strength. If you attack now, you’ll be wiped out!” she continued, her heart-rate raising again “Your history is all about chasing the geth. All they did was defend themselves from you. You forced them to rebel, you forced them to work with the reapers. You’re taking away everything they have just because they are alive, because  _ you  _ couldn’t cooperate. And if you keep attacking, they’ll kill you all.”

[60%]

Saren twitched at her words. She spoke really well, he had to give her that. Getting two armies instead of one was impressive in his books too. 

“They don’t want to fight you. If you could believe that for just a second, this war would be over. Please. Keelah se’lai.”

[All units, stand down.] came from Garrel with a sigh. A smile spread across her face, and she stepped to Legion.

[Error] he chirped [Copying code insufficient. Direct personality dissemination required.]

The smile wiped from her face in a second, and within a fraction of a moment, the victorious Jane disappeared, and her expression distorted into a darkness that was scarier than an army of reapers.

[Shepard Commander] Legion stopped and turned to her once again [I must go to them. I’m sorry.]

She didn’t answer. She didn’t move. All the blood rushed out of her head, and she saw Tali stepping to Legion.

“Legion” she said softly, looking right at him “The answer to your question was  _ “yes” _ .”

[I know Tali, but thank you. Keelah se’lai.]

And he continued. He turned to the sun, and lost the light in him. His parts went dull, his headlight becoming empty. He fell on his knees, and just like that, lifeless, he fell on the ground. Jane was looking at him, shock in her eyes, not being able to say a word.

Tali stepped to her and moved a hand over her shoulder. She turned them as they went, and sat Jane down on the edge of the cliff. Saren wanted to concentrate on his omni tool, but it was extremely hard. It took him minutes to stop thinking about her face.

They were still sitting there, but he could not hear what they spoke, there was too much Chaos in his mind. Tali took off her helmet. The sun was going down, and they spent a good amount of time just being there. As Saren finished the scans, he closed the tool down and stepped to her. She was just sitting there, not moving, her arms curled around her legs. She looked far into the distance, silence on her lips.

“Jane” he called.

She turned around.

He didn’t answer, he just looked at her. She sighed and stood up to face him.

“Yeah?” she asked, quite frustrated and sad, her tone dark, weak.

But he still didn’t answer.

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” she asked again, and his eyes widened, in shock. His chest rose suddenly, he took a deep breath as if catching for air, and his right hand slammed onto his own chest. The left hand side.

“Saren, what’s wrong?” she asked now in shock too, stepping to him, trying to find out what was wrong, but he could not speak. He just looked at her, chaos in his eyes. His whole body was on fire suddenly, he felt like a fireball was dropped on him. His heart ached like thunder went through it, and all his air escaped from his lungs. Immediate pain crushed his head and neck, and Jane’s face slowly went out of focus. His limbs betrayed him, all of them going limp. It felt like death, like the life in him was leaving him. For good this time.

He fell forward, right onto Jane. She collapsed under the weight, laying him down on the ground. His face went completely blank, his eyes were closed and if it was even possible, his plates were now almost white, so pale. His body was trembling.

“Saren!” she cried. Tali just turned to see what happened, and she saw him on the ground, and heard her commander’s cry. Jane was leaning over the turian, her hands on his chest. “No! No!” she cried, screamed almost, completely lost in panic.

He could not die, she couldn’t even think of it, but his body went limp in her arms, his breathing stopped and it didn’t matter how hard she cried, he would not respond.

This was not how it should have been!

He could not die, not again!

The air was suddenly filled with darkness, and reality twisted around her as tears filled her eyes. Everything went blurry and all that remained was the sheer panic, the fear, tearing her mind apart. She heard a gunshot in her mind, glass shattering, and empty space enveloped her. She was living that fateful moment again, from 3 years ago.

“JOKER!!” she screamed hysterically into her comms as she fell on his chest, reduced to tears.

 


	16. Waters of Palaven

 

  
  


The med-bay’s door closed right in front of her.

Leaving her out, cutting her off.

She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe, she just stood there, in the middle of the emptiness. All sound was missing, the colours disappeared in front of her. All she saw was the metal of the door, the hole in her chest, the ache that ruled over her being. Familiar ghosts emerged as she fell back in time, getting stuck in the darkness.

Her throat dry, she wanted to speak but there was nothing to say, no way to communicate. Every part of her being wanted this door gone, disintegrated so she could get to him. He was in there, undergoing surgery, so far from her once again, it hurt her.

She felt dead, destroyed., and thought:

_ Wake up. _

_ Please, wake up. _

A distant voice rumbled around her, and she slowly turned her head in its direction.

“Jane?” Kaidan called to her quietly. His eyes were saying he was afraid, confused. “Are you worried about him?”

“What” she hissed impolitely. She returned to reality in a second, her eyes lighting up with such a fire that made Kaidan step back.

“If you want to talk.. You know...”

“Leave me.” she commanded, the look in her eyes hardening. She cleared her throat and strengthened her back, suppressing every single emotion she could possibly push down. Her face changed from flabbergasted to fearless in a second. She needed to stay strong, she couldn’t have him laughing at her when he wakes up.

She snapped back so fast, he pushed Alenko out of the way and started for the elevator.

“Everyone, back to your posts” she said to everyone in the mess “Any changes in his status, I will be notified first.”

The crew gathered watched in awe. Her aura was murderous, one that they only saw glimpses of before. It startled them, but they have returned to their places.

She stepped into the elevator and pushed the button.Time acted strangely, as a moment later she was on the crew deck, entering the observation room. She rushed to the bar and grabbed the whiskey bottle with a frenzy, ripping it open, throwing away the cap and drinking straight from the bottle. Once she was done, she looked at the bottle in her hands.

This was where he broke the horosk.

His favourite.

And so was this her favourite whiskey.

How could the two be without each other? 

Her fingers slowly released the bottle, her palm turned, letting go. The bottle shattered on the floor, just like its pair did days ago. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_ “You disgusting fucking reaper lover!” _

_ “SHUT UP!!” Saren shouted as he slammed his hands to his ears. The noise in his mind ripped through everything, destroying him from the inside. The water was raging around him, hitting him, just like before a storm. Jane was shouting at him. Her figure turned long, demonic, like the dark, oozing shadows in his dreams. He looked at her. _

_ “You disgusting fucking reaper lover!” _

_ Her voice was thunder in the air. As it ripped through his mind, he fell down into the water. Thousands of knives pierced into his skin, but he could not move. The air left his lungs, water strangled him, weights pulled him down. He screamed, but there was no escape. _

  
  


* * *

  
  


About an hour later, Jane stood under the shower, the water masking her tears.

She looked rigidly at the tile, just standing there, empty. She felt tired, exhausted of life, angry. She didn’t know if she wanted to destroy the universe as it was just to end everything, or if she herself just wanted to die. She never showed it, but this was now simply too much. The visions, the reapers, dying, Saren, the reapers and Saren again, Mordin, Thane, Legion... 

And now she was losing him again.

“Commander” she heard EDI “Tali, Dr. Chakwas and myself are awaiting you in the med bay.”

Her heart throbbed. It was this moment.

She stopped the water and quickly dried herself, her hair still wet, dripping water onto her casuals as she jumped into the elevator and appeared at the med bay. When she stepped into the bay, her eyes were immediately drawn to Saren.

Tali, EDI and the doctor were standing at the right side next to Mordin’s old station, and Saren was on the left, lying on a bed. He looked like he was sleeping, no tools around him, no wounds seen, no blue blood anywhere. The blood in her veins started pumping so hard she could hear it in her ears almost, as panic rushed through her. Was he...?

“He’s safe now” Tali said immediately as she noticed the despair on her face. 

The amount of weight that fell off of her overwhelmed her. She immediately stepped to him, not even caring for the others, all she wanted was to see his face. His plates were pale, but not white now, and his mandibles were relaxed, his eyes shut in a relaxed way. And as she looked down, he saw the slow rise and fall of his chest under the covers. He was sleeping it seemed.

“What happened to him?” was all she asked, not removing her eyes from his face.

“A virus” Chakwas started “Not a biological one, but a software type. Tali discovered it.”

“What?” she looked up “Where did that virus come from?” she asked as she turned, noticing the uneasiness on their faces. EDI shifted awkwardly and she finally blurped it out.

“Cerberus.”

“What” she laughed nervously. This was the answer she least expected, and she had to admit, it caught her off guard. “Cerberus? How the hell did he get anything from Cerberus? I mean he didn’t even-” she stopped.

Suddenly, she remembered. When he fought that assassin back on the Citadel, that asshole must have done something to him, when he hit him in the chest. She remembered his shout, she’d never forget it, but all she thought it being was just a particularly painful blow. Apparently, it wasn’t.

“So you know something..” Tali inquired, tilting her head.

“Well, he was punched in the chest by a Cerberus assassin if that qualifies” Jane said. The three ladies looked at each other knowingly.

“Yes it does” Chakwas said “EDI found Cerberus markers when tracing the virus. The punch he suffered might have been delivered along with a hacker attack.”

“But why would Cerberus attack him, much less give him a virus? What virus was it?”

“We suspect Cerberus created a software-based virus that could affect synthetics” started EDI “Based on its contents the virus was meant to have similar effects to indoctrination on machines, via attacking the synthetic’s processes and programs.”

“Ahh come on… ” she sighed. Was Cerberus this stupid now? She remembered that the Illusive Man said he wanted to control the reapers.. but this was crazy even for him. What would be the solution for indoctrination and life-slaughtering reapers? More indoctrination!

Yeah right… “I’m not even going to comment on this” she said finally, burying her face in her hands.

“Because of its nature, the virus is unable to infect organic parts as those are not running softwares or processes like artificial parts do.” added Tali “That was Saren’s luck and that was what almost killed him at the same time.”

“What do you mean, Tali?” asked Jane, looking back at Saren, who was still sleeping sound, not disturbed by the noises of their conversation.

“Saren is largely synthetic, as Dr Chakwas informed me” they nodded at each other. Tali stepped forward, moving closer to Shepard, as if she wanted to comfort her. “All his organs are genuinely organic. But his muscle system, his bones, his integument, and some smaller parts of his brain are synthetic. He’s neither completely synthetic, nor fully organic, and the virus got… confused in a way.” she started fidgeting.

“Tali, please.” she demanded.

“The virus attacked what it could, meaning his muscles, bones and a small part of his brain. The part of his brain that is synthetic is the one responsible for movement, so it did not indoctrinate him, but played with his movement a bit. I saw him missing shots on the dreadnought, and when he hesitated to shoot that geth on Rannoch… was probably because the virus was slowing him down.”

Jane sighed. So that’s why he froze mid-conversation when arguing with Javik? That’s why he broke the horosk? He couldn’t control his movements?

“Even though his heart is organic, the muscles moving his heart are synthetic...” Tali continued, her voice breathy and heavy. Jane looked at her, worry in her eyes. Where were they going with this? “The virus affected them… and his heart stopped on Rannoch.”

The air got trapped in her, and she took a step back, almost touching the bed Saren was on. Her skin flushed and she fought back a tear. Hearing it loud like this… it hurt her for some reason.

“We countered the virus, and his heart was immediately back to normal. His muscles should work properly now, but we don’t know when he’ll wake up.”

Chakwas also stepped to Jane “He might have had nightmares and trouble with sleeping because of the virus. He’s sturdy, so he’ll have no permanent issues, but he needs rest now.”

She looked at him. He was sleeping so peacefully like he didn’t sleep for years. Her heart sank.

“You need rest too.” continued Chakwas. 

“Leave us.” was all Jane said, not even replying to the doctor. They all exited the room as she asked, and stopped in the corridor, turning to each other.

“Since when are they so close?”   
  
  


 

* * *

  
  


_ He thought it was over, but he was still alive. He saw the surface suddenly, from below, a small light was dancing on it. As the water hugged him, he moved his arms, faster and faster and he eventually reached the surface. As his head got out of the water, he looked at the dark, silent sky. His eyes were drawn from the stars to the source of the light, and he noticed it was the Menae. It painted the world in silver, metal colour. Palaven. _

_ He emerged from the water, his feet digging into the sand. It felt warm, just like the water did, that was so calm now. No waves, no rage, just the silky smoothness of the mirror on its surface, reflecting back the darkness of the sky. _

_ “Hey” he heard from behind his back. He turned around. _

_ It was Jane again. But this time, her face was smooth, flushed, she didn’t look like a shadow anymore. She was wearing that black dress again, and a small smile on her face. _

_ “Hey” he greeted too, and took a step towards her, just like she stepped towards him. _

_ A strange, calm silence lingered in the air between them, and he finally relaxed. His shoulders lowered as he let go of the tension, and looked into her eyes. They were blue, almost greyish, dark from the lack of light, just like the waters behind her. As if asking what he was looking at, she tilted her head to the side. Her hair fell more on her shoulder, and he noticed that it was wet. He reached his hand up slowly, and with a talon he touched a strand. It was a strange, damp feeling he never experienced before. _

_ “Are you ready?” she asked. He idly moved his talon through the same strand of her hair, not letting it go. _

_ “For what?” _

_ “Please, wake up.” _

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Saren opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was Jane: She sat on a chair, her head next to him on his bed, buried into her arms. He felt something damp immediately, and he realized that his right hand was next to her face, a strand of her hair twisted around one of his talons.

He didn’t immediately let go.

Her face was relaxed and her chest moved up and down in a smooth rhythm. She was fast asleep. He couldn’t focus on anything else for a second, just her face, but soon the pain he felt and how he collapsed on Rannoch slowly came back to his mind. He felt alright now, none of his muscles or bones hurt, and he was well rested. He wasn’t sure how long he had been sleeping, but he slowly realized he was in the med bay on the Normandy. He still held onto that small strand of her hair, letting the sensation sink in.

She was here with him even now, just like she always was. She fell asleep at his bedside, waiting for him to wake up. Her eyes were red, she must have been crying.

She cried for him?

It simply amazed him. Not once in his life did anyone shed a tear for him or cared about him, but this little woman was seeing through him like clear glass. This one little woman saved the universe multiple times at this point, saved him, forgiven him, and continued to fight a war impossible to win. She was the strongest woman he had ever encountered, and here she was, guarding his dreams, even when she was so weak she probably fell asleep right away.

His mandibles moved in a small smile. He let go of her hair and sat up, looking around. There was no one else here, only the two of them. It must have been late at night as there were no noises coming from the mess hall. He stepped to the computer to check for his medical records. He was in no mood to look for Chakwas, or talk to her and get a briefing on what happened to him. He instead just hacked the console casually and checked the notes under his name.

His rage quickly built up, and the only reason he didn’t destroy the computer then and there was because he didn’t want to wake up Jane. Fucking Cerberus! Infecting him with a virus made for reapers, only to indoctrinate him… He already plotted the revenge for when he’d meet that assassin again, running through different torturing methods in his mind. But he was interrupted by the door opening.

It was Chakwas. Saren immediately raised up his hand, putting a talon on his mouth to let her know she should stay silent. The doctor’s gaze immediately went to Jane who was still asleep at the bedside. She stepped to Saren silently, and looked at him and the console like a child who just got caught.

“Did you just hack the med computer?” she hissed as quiet as she could, her gaze burning him alive.

“I have no patience to wait for you!” he hissed back.

“I don’t care. The next time you hack any stuff in this room, I’ll report you straight away!”

“I’m really scared now!” he whispered, his voice thick with sarcasm, a smile spreading across his face. The doc put her hands on her waist, and replied, almost reprimanding him:

“Okay, if you’re feeling so well to tease me, maybe you already read your file too, right?”

“I did indeed.”

“Well then you can get the hell out of here, you’re cured. Just rest a bit.”

“I’m rested enough.”

“Well, Jane isn’t.” she commented, looking over at the Commander. She knew she wasn’t sleeping well since the attack on the Citadel, and it was more than a week ago. Her sleep deprivation was at its worst on Rannoch. “She’s finally sleeping now… she should not be woken, or it will damage her health.”

Saren moved away.

Chakwas opened her mouth to differ, but she forgot to speak when she saw him step next to the Commander. Saren leaned down to her, moving her so gently she did not even skip a breath. She was in his arms in a second, pressed to his chest, still fast asleep. The turian then simply stepped to the door and exited the med bay.

“She won’t wake up” he said, turning his head slightly as he walked away to the elevator.


	17. Newfound strength

  
  
  


The elevator doors opened and Saren stepped out with Shepard in his arms. She was just as light as he imagined her to be, being a small human. He held her tight to his chest, as if he was carrying something extremely valuable. As he opened the door to her captain’s quarters and thought about it, she was indeed valuable. But also troubled. She slept in his arms so deep she didn’t mind the elevator or the door noises, and made zero moves when he put her down on her bed. She was having the sleep she needed for spirits know how long.

He laid her down slowly, carefully, then turned around to leave.

But then he stopped.

The light of the fish tank mirrored in his eyes as he turned his head back to her, just looking at her sleeping figure. Something moved in him and he went back, sat down next to her on the bed, and looked at her. He studied her reddened eyes, her pale, perfect skin and her hair that seemed a lot darker when damp. It was longer than all those years ago, now reaching her collarbone. He decided he liked it better this way.

He slowly raised a steady hand and touched her hair, twisting a lock around his talon. She looked just as beautiful as three years ago. There was something in her that drawn him in, and he knew it was the fire inside of her.

Her sweet cherry scent lingered around him as his thoughts went on for another minute, but he then released her hair and stood up. He left the room this time, closing the door behind him.    
  
  


* * *

  
  


“Mmm…. yes?”

Who was knocking on her door? She was sleeping so well… she didn’t want to wake up yet. She was so tired before and this bed was so fluffy, and it felt so good after a week of… Jane sit up in her bed with incredible speed, just now really waking up and realizing what was going on. She was in her bed? In her quarters? How did she get here? Where was Saren? Who was knocking on the door?

“It’s me Jane. Are you up yet?” it was Tali, she recognized the voice.

“Come in!” she said, rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes. She looked at the clock. It was more than a day after she sat down next to Saren’s bed… How much did she sleep? While she realized this and started panicking inside, Tali entered.

“How do you feel?” she asked kindly, sitting down on the couch.

“How did I get here? How’s Saren?” Jane immediately asked back, and suspected a smile on her friend’s face behind the mask.

“Saren woke up yesterday evening, but you fell asleep. Chakwas told me he brought you up to your room.” Jane’s thoughts were racing: So he’s fine? He even carried her up? She must have made a very strange face because Tali started giggling.

“So he’s fine?” she asked, still in disbelief.

“Yes” Tali nodded. “You were worried he might die...” 

Tali said this like it was a fact. Jane looked at the sheets, searching her mind. She was right, she was indeed worried. She worried for Tali, Legion, Saren, everyone. She was so caught up in her fear of losing her friends that she completely missed that Saren needed medical help.

“Of course I was. I should have known something was not right… but I didn’t.”

“It’s not your fault” Tali moved on the couch, switching legs, while Jane climbed out of her bed and started getting dressed. She looked a lot better than yesterday. It was a wonder what a good night of sleep did to humans. “Saren should have said something, but he never did. It was just as his responsibility, as it was yours.”

“You might be right, I’m not his mother after all.”

“No you’re not.” Tali nodded, and started looking at the floor “But Jane… How are  _ you _ ?”

She stopped for a second. She finished pulling down her top, then sit down next to her friend on the couch: “Well...” she started “I don’t know. Legion… I mean, he...” her voice broke. Tali moved a hand over her shoulder to comfort her. They leaned on each other, like old friends, and they started staring at the coffee table. “He’s not gone, in a way. He’s with the geth now.”

“That’s right” Tali smiled, trying to support her friend seeing things from a better perspective. She needed to leave tragedy behind, and see the situation for what it was. “He’s in the consensus now. He saved millions of lives, and gave us all a new chance. And Saren is alright too. You won’t lose him.”

“When he collapsed… I thought I was losing my mind.” she gasped.

“He’s important to you isn’t he?” Tali eventually asked, after a minute of silence. Jane’s heart leaped as she prepared to answer.

“He’s a great asset to the war effort” she lied “He’s a good soldier.” There was a long moment of silence, and she felt it wasn’t right. It wasn’t the truth, and Tali knew it too. She could not fool neither her friend, nor herself: “All right, he’s not good” she sighed “He’s the best damn soldier I’ve ever seen. In battle he moves in a way that I don’t even have to pay attention. He just lets loose, and it’s working. It’s like our instincts are so similar, it scares me... ” she said, as she thought about the incident at the telescope. How in synch they were.

“I’m not sure what’s happening” she admitted, as she looked at the table, just staring into nothing. “I’m losing everybody and everything. And amidst all of this, he somehow returns, and is now on my side. And when I look at him, I’m not afraid of the reapers.”

Tali somehow wasn’t surprised. The power Saren represented was unique, aggressive, and what was too much for the rest of the world, was exactly what Jane needed. Tali leaned on her shoulder, letting out a sigh, telling her she understood and that she was there. A small smile appeared on Jane’s face, and as she herself sighed, she noticed a little white box in Tali’s hand. She was idly playing with it, as if it was a small toy.

“What’s that?” she asked curiously.

“What… this?” Tali asked, turning the box in her hand again “I don’t know, it was here on your desk, and I just started playing with it.”

Shepard sit right up. She never saw this box before.

“It’s not mine, how did that get here?” she informed, and Tali shot her a confused look. She looked down at it. It was a small, white box, no writing on it. The quarian reached out and gave her the box. She took it and turned it in her hand, examining it.

“Are you sure it’s not yours?”

“Yes...” she mumbled. As she played with the box between her fingers, a strange feeling took over her. She opened it, and a small piece of paper was in it, with the most strange, yet beautiful handwriting she’d ever seen:

_ “Never stop wearing it.” _

Jane lifted the paper, and Tali gasped into her helmet. It was obvious, that this was from Saren.

It was a small, metal ring.

The band itself was some simple metal, but the head… it was a very small stone, glowing with an emerald green colour. She looked closer, and she realized it wasn’t actually a stone… she saw small, green coloured electrical circuits on a black surface, giving off the illusion of an emerald. It reminded her of only one thing, the protheans. It reminded her of the sorrow, the reason that they are fighting. It reminded her of her fear, and it told her she should not be afraid. They are not the protheans.

They are the only cycle in millions of years, who have a chance the others before them never had.

Tali watched as her commander fought down her tears as she saw the ring. She looked like she was freed from every burden she had, and was reminded of everything she needed to hear. Her face became smooth, her eyes strong, and her hand moved the ring to her heart, before sliding it onto her finger on her left hand. It was a perfect fit, and it fit her hand just the right way. It looked like it was made for her, and only her. The moment she put it on, her being completely changed. She stood up, looked at the fish tank, then around the room. She looked like the Jane she met on the Citadel three years ago, the Jane who laughed in the face of the Collectors. Tali saw now, in action, what Shepard meant when she said she’s not afraid when he looks at him. Tali hated Saren, but she never saw someone brighten her friend up this fast.   
  


 

* * *

  
  


“You talked to her, right?” asked Joker from Garrus, who just shrugged. They were sitting in the mess hall with the engineers, Chakwas, Tali, EDI and the Liara. Everyone had a coffee, trying to wake up together, while talking about the possible shore leave Garrus was easing Shepard into. Saren was also drinking his coffee, but he was away from the crowd, standing at the bar next to Gardner, who tried to start a conversation with him, but something stopped him every time. Saren was listening to the conversation the others had.

“I did talk to her, yes...” Garrus fidgeted.

“Do we really need a shore leave right now?” Liara interrupted “With everything that’s going on, I-”

“Come on, Liara” said Chakwas “It’s hard on everybody, and that is why we all need a leave.”

“That’s right” nodded Joker “So Garrus, she promised it, right?”

“I mean… she didn’t exactly promise it...” the turian said, his mandibles just moving into a half smile. Tali asked impatiently:

“Well, what  _ did  _ she say?” 

“Um” he cleared his throat, trying his best to imitate Shepard, even putting his hands on his hips:

“ _ That is a grand idea, dinosaur! _ ” 

The mess hall broke into laughter.

Saren wasn’t sure what was so funny about this - Garrus’ tone; the phrase, or the fact that he imagined Jane saying this and it almost appeared in front of his eyes, it was so typical of her. He fought back a smile, and decided to hide his amusement in a sip of his coffee.

“Vakarian, you’re an asshole!” came from the corner and Garrus froze. It was Jane and she heard everything: the mischief in her eyes told everything. The crew fell deeper into laughter as she stepped to the bar and started making coffee for herself. She did not even look at Saren at all. “If you’re sooo good at impersonating me, maybe you can start reporting to the Council instead of me!” she laughed.

“You’re heartless, Shepard!” hissed Garrus, his mandibles moving into a large smile.

“Yeah well, your first report can be telling them we’ll be going on shore leave. To the Citadel. Two days, one night. And keep yourself free for that night, because we’re going to make your shameless party happen. We have some work on the station anyways, so that’s a perfect opportunity.”

To say the crew was happy was an understatement.

Jane turned around from them and finished making her coffee. She then turned and looked right at Saren, her blue eyes were shining so bright, it sent a shiver through him. She lifted the mug to her face and as she took a sip, he noticed a small green reflection: his ring on her finger. They shared a glance, and he could see the smile on her face as she finished drinking. She turned back towards the others, joining the conversation, but Saren did not hear what they were talking about anymore.

He only saw her, walking to the table and sitting in the middle of the conversation, laughing with the others, drinking her coffee, raising her ring high every time, occasionally looking at him for a split second.

The sight of the ring on her hands messed him up badly. He started making it after their incident with the telescope and the reaper, but only now could he finish it. The problem with his movement slowed the process down quite a bit, but when he woke up, it took him no time to finish it. He put it in her room while she was sleeping, and she already found it. Even the thought of his ring on her finger set his nerves on fire, it felt like she was wearing his mark, even though that was hardly the reason he gave it to her. But it still did wonders to his pride how she was not even trying to hide the ring in front of her friends. He could see some of them noticed already, but no one said a word, and he could see it in her eyes that even if they would have asked, she would have said nothing.

He noticed Garrus’ eyes on him. The sniper was looking at him with a look so dangerous, an expression so tense, his mandibles were almost glued to his jaw. Saren couldn’t help a smirk, and it infuriated Garrus even more.

Jane was practically glowing, full of confidence and strength, and it was because of him. They both felt the change in her posture, the evenness in her heart rate. Whatever crippled her emotionally was gone, evaporated, and turned into raw power.

He put down the coffee cup and decided to leave the scene, glaring at Garrus victoriously.  


 

* * *

  
  


“A club?” Kaidan asked, a look of confusion on his face. They were discussing party plans for the shore leave.

“Yeah, why? You don’t like it?” Jane rounded the bar, taking a seat next to Kaidan on one of the bar stools. It was quite amusing to talk to Kaidan, he was so rigid it was almost ridiculous to her.

“I like it.. it’s just that..” he started, searching for the right word “It’s not like you.”

She laughed.

“Kaidan, just because you haven’t seen me in a club while on shore leave doesn’t mean I don’t like a good night out.” At this point Kaidan was thoroughly confused. It was so typical of him. The time he spent in Shepard’s team was only a couple months, which he spent with trying to hook up with her, never understanding why he was rejected as many times as he tried. He didn’t even know how to relax properly.

“Well, whatever you want, Shepard” he replied eventually “I won’t be the one to stay in the way of a good, shameless party.” His eyes were extremely playful, and he was leaning on the bar in a way it could never be misunderstood. For a second Jane thought he was even going to wink at her, that would have been priceless.

She fought back laughing so hard, her cheeks reddened. But then she was saved by the door opening. A shirtless Saren stepped into the observation room, and without acknowledging them, he stepped behind the bar and reached for the bottled water stored in the fridge there. The mess didn’t have carbonated water, but it was just what he needed after his workout session. As he reached into the fridge with his back to the others, Kaidan threw a disgusted look at him, and stood up:

“I guess I’ll go now, have fun!” he said sarcastically, and removed himself from the room. As soon as the doors closed, Jane’s laugh escaped her, just loud enough that Kaidan could hear it on the other side.

“That man is a coward” Saren casually said. He turned to Shepard as he opened his water and chugged almost all of it. 

“He’s not that bad” she chuckled. He looked at her. She was casually leaning on the bar, a cup of warm afternoon coffee in her hands. It appeared she was in the middle of her usual trip around the ship. Her dark circles were gone, her face regained its natural colour and her overall look was a lot better. Her eyes were brighter, as if despite everything that happened, she regained her strength.

“You look better.” he commented with a neutral tone, but glowing eyes. Jane looked at him with a warm smile:

“Sleep does wonders to you.” she said, not letting it slip how his ring reminded her of everything that was important to her. She needed to keep going if she was to win this war. Grieving did not fit the picture, and it only caused more issues. “I can see you’re better too.”

He nodded.

“It’s easier to train when you don’t have your body taken over by some first grade Cerberus indoctrination...”

“They couldn’t indoctrinate you” she corrected him “Those days are gone.”

She was so firm in her statement, it almost gave him a moment of piece. Indoctrination was his nemesis, he knew it, and she was right about it being in the past. It was a danger that didn’t affect him anymore. Yes, the virus managed to fuck him up a bit with those dreams… but it wasn’t indoctrination.

“I know” he answered eventually “The reapers have no control over me, or you.” his low baritone rang around her in the room, and she eased into the conversation. It seemed like they could talk again properly, without the nerves ruining their mood.

“The virus… That’s why you broke the horosk?” she asked suddenly.

“Yes. I dropped it. One more reason I will someday tear Cerberus to pieces.” he said it in such a cold way, looking at the empty place where the horosk used to be, it almost brought her sadness. “It almost messed up the missions and my work with the ring.”

Jane looked up at him. She did not expect him to bring up the topic of the ring, since he was so closed off usually. She instinctively lifted her hand and looked at the jewel.

“But what is this, Saren?” she asked as they shared a glance. After a moment of silence, Saren replied with honesty in his voice:

“It’s a piece of Ilos.” His gaze lowered as he looked at the ring, taking her hand in his. Her hand was so small compared to his, it would have been easy to crush. He moved a talon over the glass on the ring, covering the circuits. “It is a piece of a circuit board of some kind. I found it back in the day when we went through the Mu relay. It was still working, so I brought it with me. I have no idea how it remained with me after I died.”

She looked at him, not being able to remove her eyes from him. He seemed so focused on it, his expressions were almost soft. As his hand cupped hers, examining the ring, her heart sank into a strange feeling. The way his mandibles moved, how his anterior fringes framed his cheeks. He looked so alien, but so strong at the same time. He looked really different from the other turians, and she liked that. He looked a lot more masculine, intelligent, and he was indeed. He exuded power.

“Does it do anything still?” she asked as she snapped back to reality. He looked back up at her, a small smile on his face.

“It might.” was all he said.

“What kind of an answer is that?” she smirked, playfully removing her hand from his.

“A secretive kind” he said “You just carry on and organize your clubbing. I don’t want to be disappointed by this party.” His voice was almost playful as he said this. He then just turned his back to her and left the room before she could say anything.

So Saren will come clubbing with them? She wondered.

That should be interesting.

 


	18. Pulsar

  
  


In only a couple of hours they would reach the Citadel. The crew could barely stay on their posts all day long, they awaited the shore leave so much, it was all that they could think about. It was the beginning of the day cycle on the Citadel, and the crew was already up, most of them getting ready for docking.

And they had plans already: Joker and EDI were going to have lunch and look around the Presidium; Garrus and Vega were to visit a shooting range (typical, the guys just could not let go of fighting), and Tali remained on the ship for now, as they planned they would later meet with Shepard.

When the Normandy docked, and Jane gave the sign for everyone to leave the ship, it was empty in a minute.

“That was fast!” noted Joker with an amused expression.

“Well, I can’t blame them” smiled Jane. They turned back and went through the bridge one more time. Everything was already checked, but they were all for another last look.

“I think we’re done here Joker.”

“I can only hope we didn’t leave the rear lights on - I would hate to see the battery dead when we return!” he joked then turned back from the cockpit and started for the decontamination zone. Shepard laughed, and followed him, but there was someone who stepped behind her.

“Are you in or out?” asked Saren from behind her, not really fitting in the door because she was in the way.

“Out” she looked back, stepping into the decontamination chamber, letting him in as well.

Three of them were now in the chamber, awkward silence taking over them. When the process finished and they were free to go, Saren stormed off into the masses of the docking area, disappearing in the crowds in a second.

“Umm” murmured Joker “You sure you want to let Saren Arterius loose on the Citadel during a reaper invasion? Won’t people recognize him?”

“Nah” she waved “Most people only knew him by name, he always avoided the limelight. As long as he uses a fake name, he’ll be fine.”

“Just don’t be surprised when you’ll see Miss Al’Jilani announcing an interview with Saren Arterius lookalike, Mr. Artius Hanarslapper...”

Jane almost tripped, laughing out loud.

“Okay, I better go before you come up with something as majestic as this joke was” she said, then left Joker behind.

“Figures, I do everything to land the best jokes, and this is what I get...”   
  
  


* * *

 

After Jane finished running some errands, she had lunch with Tali and Garrus, and after spending some time just wandering around the Citadel, she went back to the Normandy. She called Tali up. 

“So, how did it go?” Tali asked as she entered her quarters “You found anything good?”

“There’s a new club on the the Wards, it’s called Pulsar.” Jane said as she put her stuff down on the coffee table. “It was built a couple months before the Invasion. It’s a lot better than Purgatory, it’s like five stories high, with a joint dancehall and multiple bars. Apparently they have really good trance and classic disco music also, so it will be perfect for us!”

She seemed very excited, and it suited her a lot. It was better seeing her in a lifted mood, rather than depressive. It was hard losing Legion and the others too, but they had to move on. 

“Sounds good!” Tali eventually said, her smile covered by her helmet.

“Yeah, I’ll send out the invites… done!” she said, closing her omni-tool after sending the message quickly ”... and now….” she turned around “You need to help me choose a dress!”

That’s right!

Despite being the savior of the galaxy and a brutal soldier, Jane had a lot of nice clothes, and when it was time to wear them, she was always so delighted. Tali envied her for being able to just switch between styles whenever Jane wanted: she had no way of doing that with her envirosuit. All she was able to do were modifications of design; so she was always fascinated by Jane’s freedom to choose a dress to wear for an occasion.

They chatted away while choosing, and soon the room was a mess. Tali revealed that she brought booze for both of them, and they started drinking happily way into the early evening. Dress-picking soon became an act of leaving the dresses on the bed untouched, and instead turned into consuming the alcohol and giggling around.

“Okay, there’s the line for me” said Jane smiling, sitting on the pile of dresses on the bed “If I drink more, it will affect my ability to sanely choose a good dress.”

“I think you should go with the black one, the one you bought back on Omega” Tali suggested, relaxed, slightly tipsy.

“Yeah you’re right, that piece is a real beast...” so she went and separated the black dress from the pack. She also reached into her closet and removed a small metal box.

“Thanks for the idea” she stepped to Tali. The quarian looked up, curiously looking at the box.

“Ok, so you managed to choose matching shoes as well?”

“No, this box has something much better.” and with that, she gave the box to Tali. She shot her a surprised look, but eventually opened the container, and when she saw the contents, she felt like her helmet is going to explode.

The container held external envirorsuit decoration cloths, a whole set of them in different, beautiful colors. There was a bright red, a grey, blue, and a beautiful emerald one. Tali felt her tears streaming down her face and leaned into the hug Jane gave her.

“They’re true cloth, original quarian-made. Their waves have distributed omni-gel memory. I hope you like them.” she said, hugging her friend closely.

“I love them, Jane” Tali mumbled, picking out the emerald one right away.

Jane’s smile was wide. So half of her shopping was successful, it seemed.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren got back from shopping for tech to put together, and went right for the elevator, he was really thirsty.

Drinking before going drinking was something that he did such a long time ago, he could barely recall. Maybe with Nihlus, many years ago… “ _ Warm-up _ ” - he used to call it. It was a fitting term, considering the fact that Saren felt like he was going to war tonight. Pubs, bars, sure… but clubs? Was Jane this wild? He surely needed a drink before he found out... that will stop himself from murdering the whole crew if he didn’t like the party.

And he was already in the observation room. He walked to the bar to search for some turian drink, there had to be something. Horosk was his favourite, but since he broke that, that was out of the game. He opened the glassdoor below, and started looking at the usual place. There was some turian liquor there, and having no other choice, he lifted that bottle out. He grabbed a glass and looked at the-

_ “Drink from the top shelf instead!” _

That was written on the bottle. All right...

He turned around, put this bottle back and looked up to the top shelves that were near the ceiling. A bottle with bright blue contents stood out for him in the first second and he grabbed it immediately.

It was a brand new, shiny bottle of his dear horosk.

His talons scratched the label as his mind processed the information. Jane indeed knew him better than anyone else, and it was reinforced in his mind, that she was an amazing, rare being. He was suddenly looking forward to the party. He opened the bottle, chugged down a shot, and went right for his cabin to take a shower.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The Pulsar was a huge place.

The whole club was essentially one giant open place, around five stories high, all the levels opened up together, with a giant dancefloor down at the bottom. The levels were hugging around the open space in the middle, allowing everyone from every level to be able to look down on the dancehall.

It was stuffed with people, especially the bottom level where the crowds rolled along like ants in their lair. The music was pumping through the whole club like blood in the veins, reaching every single corner of the place. The people in there were completely mesmerized with the music and the drinks, happily tumbling around, jumping to the music or laughing on the upper floors. All kinds of people turned up here: krogan, salarians, asari, turians, humans, even some hanar. Rich, poor, every kind, all trying to forget the ongoing war as one.

Jane loved it. The club was so alive, the crowd so amazing, the name Pulsar was more than fitting. They fought through the sea of people with Tali holding hands, as this was the only way to make sure they don’t lose each other. It was pure luck that Jane included the exact level and place of the table they had reserved, otherwise there was no way that the crew members would find each other. After long minutes, they managed to get up to the first level on the right side, and found their table.

Garrus, Vega, Javik, Joker, EDI and Kaidan were already there, drinking away happily.

“Oh, look what we have here!” Jane chirped, hopping down next to EDI happily. ”Where are the others?” she asked.

“Dr. Chakwas and Liara are on their way. I have no information about Saren.”

“Probably for the better.” commented Kaidan, earning a fierce glance from Jane. She also expected a comment from Garrus, but he wasn’t even paying attention. He was deeply immersed into looking at Tali sitting across from him in her beautiful new emerald suit decors. They were at the same place the usual ones were, but - because of their colour - bringing a lot more attention to her. Jane couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his best friend sitting there, jaw dropped, mandibles tense, his talons anxiously searching for his drink.

And then things just flowed from there.

Drinks and chatting followed for everyone, and when Vega presented that Joker should try dancing, they all started egging him to do it, eventually resulting in everyone going with Joker to shield him from the crowds, so they can all witness his glorious dancing without him breaking a bone.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren entered the club that was on the invite, and he was immediately sure that Jane was indeed crazy. This was the flashiest, biggest nightclub she could pick on the whole Citadel possibly, and it was full of people to the brim. It was however also an advantage for him. With his sleek, black robe and scarf, he blended in quite well, masking away his real identity.

He went for the table they had reserved, and found nothing but empty glasses.

“Great” he mumbled to himself, realizing that they probably went dancing, which was a thing he was never going to participate in. He found himself lucky suddenly, since if he would have arrived sooner, the others might have tried to sweep him away for a round of dance more awkward than the pink drunk hanars on the dancefloor below. He stepped to the bar to order a drink, and just sat on the stool then and there.

“A small turian horosk” he said to the bartender, who turned around to prepare his drink.

“Oh, did I hear that right? We have real men drinking here?” The question was from a deep, female voice he recognized as turian. He turned to see who made the comment, and he found a turian woman sitting next to him.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked without moderation. He needed to relax.

“Ouch” hissed the girl, obviously not disturbed, but rather turned on by his harshness. That was even weird for a turian woman. “You’ll burn me with that fire!” she added.

Saren seriously thought he was going to vomit then and there. Even though she didn’t look horrible, he never liked women who forced things this furiously. They were all easy to get, replaceable and boring. To show his disapproval, he turned his back to the stranger, pretending to be looking for someone on the dancefloor. The woman started talking next to him, but he shut it out completely, even though he was quite bothered by it. His eyes ran idly through the dancehall, and he decided if the damned woman says one more word, he’ll shut her down the same way she approached him.

But in a second, he completely forgot about that.

In his pretending he noticed Jane on the ground floor, laughing in the middle of the group, trying to dance but failing from the laughing fit they were all in. Her red hair was giving her away, her blue eyes shining in the red lights of the club. His horosk arrived in the meantime, and he reached for it without turning back, and downed it in a second. He slid the glass back on the bar and just left. The turian lady behind him gasped in surprise, but there was nothing she could do, Saren was off to the dancefloor.

He took the stairs from the first level down to reach the dancefloor, keeping his eyes on Shepard. As he took the steps, Jane accidentally looked up, noticing him right away. She froze for a second, then smiled. He continued down and when he reached the ground floor, he entered the crowd. He cut through the people, and he already saw her with the others, she was in a tight black dress. She noticed him again, and a playful smirk appeared on her face, she wasn’t far away now. Another turian then crossed him sideways, cutting his glance off of her. When the turian was gone, she disappeared.

He stopped and looked around, and noticed her red hair, as she was leaving the floor. She looked back at him, an inviting smile on her face again. As he changed directions to reach her, a strange excitement flowed through him. In a minute he was at the bottom of the stairs on the left side, Jane standing on top of the stairs, waiting for him, urging him to follow her. Her smile grew bigger and more beautiful, and she almost skipped away from him. He jumped on the stairs, taking two of them at a time, squeezing himself through the crowds. He turned left, through the crowd, then left again, up the stairs, following her to spirits know where. She was playing him, running away from him, shooting him looks of mischief on every corner before disappearing and reappearing way ahead of him.

The more he moved, the more energized he became, and as the music pulsated through the club, and the lights danced in every corner, his predator instincts became stronger and stronger. Her moves were fluid, waiting for him at the stairs, bars, anywhere where she’d lead him. He followed her figure, the colour of her hair, the sound of her laughter as it rang around him constantly, but he was never able to reach it.

He enjoyed it thoroughly. She was as playful as when they fought on missions, when she could let her powers loose next to him.  Their chase led them all the way up to the fifth level, where the least amount of people stayed, as it seemed. He clearly saw her exit the level at a glass door, and so he followed. When he exited the door, the artificial air of a luxury terrace brushed in his face, and there she was.

The whole Citadel, the ring of the Presidium in the background was behind her, enveloping Jane in a light of icy blue. Saren stopped at the door, and drank the sight in. She was standing at the railing on the terrace, her arms casually placed on the rail, all of her body turned to him. A strange feeling from deep down emerged in him, as he realized how flawless she was. She wore a black, tight dress barely reaching her knees, revealing the most perfect hourglass shape he’d ever seen. Her fiery hair was almost purple in the blue light, brushing her toned shoulders and slender, long neck. Her almond eyes looked at him playfully, a shine of icy blue glaring into his mind. A small, impish smile took over her face, she was waiting for him.

She looked like a queen.

She was more beautiful than any turian woman he ever encountered. He never really liked those women much: tall and strong, too much roughness. His eyes much preferred Jane’s small stature, soft curves and fiesty nature.

At his thoughts, a smile appeared on his face too, as he slowly stepped forward to approach her.

“If you wanted to get away from me, you failed” he said, his baritone soft.

“Well, what can I say? I’m not an escape artist.” she said, still smiling, entertained by their banter. He stopped a couple feet away from her.

“No one can escape from me” he said instinctively. Where was this conversation going exactly?

“Have you found it?” she changed topics, obviously thinking about the horosk.

“I did. In fact, I already tested it” he said, taking a step closer.

A smile masked away her awe. Saren was tall, dressed in a tight black robe, his scarf on his shoulder. The black clothes contrasted his white face plates that swam in a blue light now, accentuating his eyes. The sharp, strong contours of his face shined as his mandibles pulled apart in a smile. He looked truly elegant, handsome, as if he was on a hunt for women’s hearts. As he stepped closer to her, he seemed even bigger, even though he was tall naturally. He wasn’t as lean as other turian males, and it showed especially well when he had no armor on, like now. He was muscular, strong, and she loved it. His being screamed strength to her and her heart responded to him in a way she couldn’t contain.

“And how was it?” she asked, remembering the horosk.

“Just what I wanted” he murmured, the sound coming almost from his chest.

Something was happening. He acted so relaxed, so at ease, as if he wasn’t closed-off anymore. His eyes were glowing right at her as if she was the only one existing in this world. And she was doing the same thing, they were somehow unintentionally on the same wavelength. She had no idea why this was happening, but she haven’t felt this safe and happy since… well, she never did.

He reached up and moved a rogue lock of hair out from her face and behind her ear. He had no gloves on, and a talon accidentally brushed on her cheek.

“I plan on getting wasted tonight, you know” she said, eased at his touch.

“Am I supposed to be surprised?” he teased. She laughed a little, sarcastically, and his mandibles moved in response. She opened her mouth to say something in reply to continue their friendly banter.

But that was gone in a second and she forgot what she wanted to say. All she saw was glass shattering, and something brushed along her face, causing sharp pain.

What Saren felt was a giant whiskey bottle flying to his head from behind, shattering to a million pieces.

“Leave that lady alone, you monster!” came from behind them, and Saren turned around to see what had happened. He was never attacked with a whiskey bottle before, but it was obvious now, that it did not work against him: the glass shattered on his head, broken to pieces by his carapace. Not a single scratch on him. The guys that stood behind him - two giant humans - seemed surprised by the fact that he wasn’t on the floor knocked out.

“Do you have any idea what you just did?” he pressed the air so tight between his teeth, he almost hissed. He immediately opened his mouth, baring his teeth, and a low rumble started in his chest. He took a step forward.

“What the fuck” gasped one of the humans, taking a step back, regret in his eyes. It was clear that they mistook their conversation with Jane for him trying to assault her.

“You thought I was attacking her?” Saren took another step, his eyes dark with wrath he couldn’t keep at bay.

“Yeah man, we’ve seen you touch her!”

“And so what?” came from behind Saren. Jane stepped forward, a rage in her voice Saren never heard before, she was so pissed. There we go. “A girl can only talk to small squishy human guys?” she shouted. The two men took a step back. 

“I mean… we-”

“Shut up!” she commanded. “If you’re so tough and smart that you thought hitting a six foot tall turian spectre with a whiskey bottle was a good idea, you might want to test my biotics as well!” she said and kicked her high heels off. Barefoot, she stood in combat stance, flaring up her fists with her biotics.

“We’re sorry!” they cried.

“I don’t think so!” she shouted, but Saren noticed a hint of amusement in her voice… he smiled, and felt his rage turning into something else. He saw how these men were now shaking, backing off, looking at either him, or Jane, not knowing which one was the bigger threat. They regretted all of their actions now. This was starting to be pure entertainment. “You hit  _ me  _ as well with your bottle, you clumsy assholes!”

And she moved her hand, imitating the start of a biotic blow.

The men turned their back on her and fled through the door in a fraction of a second, not even looking back. She straightened her back as they left, and went to put her heels back on, like they were never off.

“Stupid dickfaces” she murmured under her breath. Saren stepped to her and turned her towards him by grabbing her hand slowly.

“They indeed hit you too” he said, looking at the small cut on her right cheek, a small trail of blood was dripping down on her face.

“Yeah, now I have to go to the bathroom...” she said, annoyed, removing her face from his palm anxiously. “But their faces… did you see?” she asked with a smirk.

“Yes.” he said with a small smile.

“We should go back, I had enough of this terrace.”

She was right. He just got hit in the head with a bottle and he was really keen on seeking these guys out and show them what he did to people who dared to attack him from behind. But this would have taken away his precious time from the delicious horosk they kept behind the bar. He anyways wanted to see what a drunk Jane looked like if the sober version was this feisty.

  
  


* * *

  
  


By midnight it was clear that humans loved alcohol - but their tolerance was nowhere near the turians’. Saren watched the crew member’s cognitive functions deteriorate with every long drink and shot more and more. They loosened up, became more crazy, cheerful and they even forgot that they were partying with him there. If he wanted to betray the whole Normandy, this would have been a perfect moment to do so. But instead he was busy with his ice cold horosk and Jane’s laugh.

They were at the same spot on the couch at the table they have been for the last hour, and just chatted about tech, dark matter, stories and spirits know what. His smooth talking came in handy, because Jane was constantly between smiling and laughing. They had enough drinks, they felt that their conversation was more fluid than usual. He forgot about everyone and all he saw was her.

Until Joker sat down next to them.

Pretty much everyone was scattered around on the dancefloor, the table or the bar, but somehow they were suddenly back at the table after Joker arrived, and the situation escalated so quickly, that they were now in the middle of a drinking game.

“I don’t want to be disrespectful Commander” Joker teased “But being the savior of the universe, it is physically impossible that you don’t want to play this game.”

Jane looked at her shot, calculating the possible damage this is going to cause. She was next in round, but she did not want to get completely wasted, she was drinking already with Tali, then Saren, and now..

“Yeah well, and who’s going to carry  _ you  _ home if I black out?” she returned the tease.

“I have a personal mobility assistance mech, you know..” he looked at EDI. “So you can just go ahead.”

The others cheered her on, and so it had to be done. She downed it, resulting in everyone clapping. And then it came to Saren. Everyone was looking at him, and for the first time in forever, not for the bad reasons. Looking at their faces, they probably all expected him or either Garrus win, so when he spoke, they were all on board:

“You should listen to your Commander” he said, in all seriousness. “By the time I will be done here, you’ll all be in the hospital for alcohol poisoning.”

“That’s the spirit!” Tali cheered for him, and he earned the applause from the others as well in a second, when he chugged his horosk.

This wasn’t one of those complex drinking games with tasks and games, it was just simply drinking after each other. And because of this, the destruction it caused was swift and irreparable. He had no idea who won. Hopefully it was him.

 

 


	19. Vendetta

  
  


Jane woke up with a throbbing headache the next day.

The party was awesome, but it left her dehydrated and tired, and she had no time to lie around. She had an appointment with Councilor Tevos in an hour. She quickly got up to get ready starting with a good shower, but she was still thinking about the club. The drinking game destroyed most of the crew, and it was hilarious, but she had to get back to reality now. As much as she enjoyed getting drunk with Saren, she also had a war to win.

When she eventually went down to the mess to gather some strength from coffee before heading out, she found no one there just the two turians of the ship. Both of them making coffee, trying to ignore each other to the best of their abilities until they can both escape the situation.

“You guys are already up?” she asked sleepily as she entered the room, making way to the counter between the two of them.

“Jane, we’re not as squishy as you humans are” commented Garrus, a smile on his face.

“For once he’s right.” added Saren, but his voice was muffled, deep, almost as if he was under water. To his bad luck, Jane picked up on that.

“Oh, you’re sick?” she teased.

Saren glanced at her, the look in his eyes burning like fire.

“That question doesn’t even deserve an answer...” he added eventually, and saw Jane’s smile die down into a sarcastic sad face. She looked tired, but there was something in her tousled hair and sleepy eyes that was almost endearing. Suddenly he remembered last night, the chase and seeing her on the balcony with the Citadel behind her. The drinks, the talks they had, somehow ending up in the Presidium lake, then getting back to the Normandy completely wasted, trying to find the elevator.

She seemed so different now.

He noticed her cherry scent a lot more, and he realized it was everywhere on the ship. He now noticed the way she walked, how her lips moved when she spoke. It felt like he was coming alive, the more time he spent with her the more powerful he became. He wanted to spar with her suddenly.

Where did this come from?

  


* * *

  


Jane returned from Tevos with devastating news. Thessia was now under reaper attack, and apparently there was a relic on the planet that could bring them closer to the Catalyst. They set a course for Thessia immediately, and the shore leave was instantly over. Thessia was quite close in Citadel space, but it still took a couple days to reach. Those days were spent with preparation and waiting. This was their shot. The Crucible was almost complete, all it needed was the Catalyst. They were an inch away from the end of the war, either by defeating the reapers, or by the reapers destroying them. The artifact on Thessia could be the breakthrough they were looking for.

And when they finally landed on the planet with the shuttle, a new hell opened up in front of them. Liara was devastated as she saw Thessia in ruins, ravaged by reapers. The skies were greyish from the smoke, and the ground filled with debris and the dead. They were going to the temple of Athame, quite an odd place for a government defended relic. Tevos sent a team of scientists to the temple to help Shepard and her team, but they could not reach them from the swarm of reapers that flooded the city.

But at least their combat synch with Saren was finally back: he was his old, unstoppable and violent self while fighting, he enjoyed every blow, every shot. He constantly got Jane’s back when she dived in so recklessly she always did, and helped her ensue chaos on the reaper forces. It was good to be back at it again.

 

An asari commando team also helped them to reach their destination. And when they finally got to it, it was completely empty. No scientists, just quiet.

“Something’s off here” Saren commented, looking around “Your scientists should be here.” He was moving cautiously through the temple. Something was disturbing him from deep within, his gut feeling was ringing an alert.

“Take a look around, maybe one of these artifacts is the one we’re looking for.”

They started looking. There were a couple of artifacts laying around, most of them completely unprotected.

“These cannot be the ones, asari government secrets cannot be just left on pedestal in the middle of the city” Saren said again “There must be some fail-safe here.” Jane was standing in front of one of the statues, so taken aback, she was unable to say anything.

“What do you see?” came Saren from the other side, stepping next to her, but as soon as he saw what she did, he also ran out of words. Liara noticed this and joined them, taking a look at the statue.

“It’s Janiri, Athame’s guide who...”

Saren finished it for her.

“... Who looks exactly like Javik.” The statue was undoubtedly a prothean face, and Liara’s expression grew dark with realization. Athame was the guide of their civilization, the one who brought light.. Light from the protheans.

“Our entire civilization… was aided by the protheans?” she sighed.

“It’s not so hard to believe… they were the dominant race of the galaxy before us.” Jane pointed out. Liara covered her face, trying to process the information. As their discussion flowed, Saren left them there alone. He walked to the altar of the temple and to the console planted there, beneath the giant asari statue that was the centrepiece of the temple.

“The scientists won’t be helping us.” he informed as he turned back, calling for Jane and Liara. They both followed, and while Jane stopped next to him, Liara crouched down to examine the scientists, who were laying on the floor, dead, their corpses thrown in a pile.

“Their throats have been slit… This is not the reaper’s doing.”

There was only one party at play apart from the reapers that had any real footing in this war. She looked at Saren and met his eyes that beamed of the same suspicion.

Cerberus.

“Be prepared” she said, motioning to Liara to leave the corpses “but for now, focus on the artifact.” she turned back to the console. Liara started talking about the statue, but the more she talked, the more her voice became muffled. The power the temple emanated suddenly changed, and concentrated on the statue. A strange, familiar shiver ran down her spine, and as she looked at Saren briefly, it was evident that he felt something too. His blue eyes were fixed on the altar, hist breath held in.

“Can you feel it?” she sighed.

“Yes...” he murmured.

“There’s a prothean beacon here!”

Liara’s eyes widened as she witnessed both of them saying the same thing at the same time. They were glaring at each other, filled with surprise, but in perfect synch.

“What?” she hissed “Are you sure?”

“Positive” nodded Jane “It’s not something you forget.”

“But why hide it?” Liara asked. Saren coughed, looking at the asari and crossed his arms on his chest.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, his tone arrogant, but knowing “Asari hoard the knowledge of the protheans. You hid the beacon for your own gain.”

“That can’t be right!” Liara protested.

“Think about it… you’re the most advanced species in the galaxy.. It explains a lot.”

“I can’t believe this!” Jane lashed out, burying her face in her palm in anger “Tevos told me about the artifact. She knew all along… ” her rage was apparent on her face, and Saren shared her frustration “And she decided to share it only when it was time for her people to be affected, not before…”

“Shepard… I” Liara interrupted.

“It’s not your fault Liara” she stated, her stance becoming more aggressive “But if Tevos survives this war, she’ll die by my hands. The blood of millions are on her hands now. If we learned this sooner… ” she could not believe this. Saren was right on the Citadel when he said it was a miracle that Jane didn’t kill the whole Council as it is already. She was a fool to let them live.

But as she was buried in her emotions, something happened. She heard a noise and turned back.

Saren touched one of the smaller artifacts on the side, and a green light broke out from it, shooting into the statue of Athame in the middle. The stone cracked, and a small, scattered light of green poked through the idol.

“We can crack this” he noted, stepping back.

“Incredible” Liara added “It thinks you’re prothean… It must be the Cipher.. Shepard, you should try it too!”

“Yes, there must be more of these connections” she nodded, and they went around the room, just touching each artifact. Just minutes later, the prothean code was cracked, and the beacon gained enough energy. The statue of Athame fell apart, revealing a familiar looking, giant prothean beacon. It beamed with energy, playing in all colours of green. Not so distant memories flooded their minds.

Jane’s ring also lit up, but she could not see, it being under her gloves.

Simultaneously, a small orb of light broke away from the beacon, landing on the ground beneath their feet.

_[Obtaining chronological marker. Hold]_

“By the godess...” Liara panted.

_[Timescale established. Post prothean cycle confirmed. Reaper presence detected. Extinction terminus confirmed. Shutting down.]_

“Wait!” Jane shouted “We need answers!”

[To what question?] asked the intelligence.

“The Catalyst. We’re building the Crucible, we need to find the Catalyst.” To her reply, the small orb descended from the air, and changed its projection to what looked like a prothean.

_[I am called Vendetta, a highly advanced virtual construct. Overseer of the project you refer to as “Crucible”]_ It spoke, his voice reminiscent of Javik, but synthetic, similar to a VI. _[Our studies of the past ages led us to believe that time is cyclical. Repeat of the same patterns. Evolution of life. Civilization. Same patterns of evolution and dissolution.]_

Liara commented, deeply in thought “We assume the reapers are responsible for the pattern.”

_[Our data shows otherwise.]_

They exchanged looks. Who could be the controlling the cycles if not the reapers?

_[And the plans of the Crucible are not prothean design. They are ancient blueprints of countless civilizations, each improving on it, each adding knowledge. Our knowledge was learning about the Catalyst.]_

“Then tell us about it!” Jane urged the program, impatient, nervous. Saren looked at her, and she was a mess. They were so close, so close to winning this war. The program shares the secret, and this will all be over.

_[No point. The reapers have already arrived, it is too late.]_

Jane could break this program at this point, if it had a physical form instead of a hologram.

“It is not too late! We’re almost finishing the Crucible, we’re united! All we need is the information you have and this will all be over!” she shouted, exhausted. It was all hanging by a thread.

[You cannot win. The cycle will continue.]

“It will be broken” Saren suddenly said. Jane saw the determination in his eyes that she was so used to. The strength he had gave him the power to speak the words the construct needed to hear. His cold confidence shone through his deep, rumbling voice. “We found the Conduit. The reaper invasion was delayed. We have a chance no one ever had before our cycle. We will win.”

The construct turned to him.

_[This one is reaper technology, but no indoctrination present. You are an anomaly.]_

“Our cycle is an anomaly. And it will win us the war.”

Silence.

_[Very well. The Catalyst is… - Indoctrinated presence detected. Activating security protocol.]_

“What!?” Liara shouted, as the construct closed itself off, returning to an orb form, disappearing into the beacon.

They heard noise, and noticed that a Cerberus gunship landed right in front of the temple. There was only one person exiting the cargo area, and it was a familiar, nasty face that Jane and Saren had seen before. It was the Cerberus assassin, Kai Leng. They knew his name now, and could never forget his face. That face full of arrogance.

They all raised their weapons.

As the the assassin came closer, slowly in a relaxed pace, he glanced at Saren with dissatisfaction on his face. Leng’s plan with the virus was a mistake, and Saren knew he had the upper hand now. Cerberus failed to kill him, and they will pay for that mistake a thousandfold.

“You...” Jane hissed, disgusted. “What do you want?”

“Your attention.” he said, his voice calm. He raised his hand and opened up his palm to reveal a small holo device. Jane immediately realized what it was: he wanted to project a hologram of the Illusive Man, this was their style of playing. But she had no intention to speak with that garbage of a man.

“Fuck your Illusive Man!” she shouted. Despite the tension, Saren’s mandibles parted into a small smirk.

“All right” Leng said, putting away the device “If you want to play like this, very well.” And with that, he was already in a fighting stance.

Jane fired her weapon in less than a second. Saren and Liara joined in, ducking into cover first. Leng disappeared. Saren was already prepared for him, it was no secret that he would first try to round them from the sides, given the structure of the temple. His palm was itchy to beat him, and so he removed his gloves.

And Leng indeed came around the corner. The moment he did, Saren tripped him shamelessly and threw his gun into his face, grabbing his neck with the other. His talons sank deep into his skin, resulting in the assassin hissing under him.

“Welcome back” was all he said. Leng then raised his hands to land a punch in Saren’s face. As he fell back, the assassin jumped up, avoiding Jane’s bullets, rounding them again with jumps hard to follow.

“I’m not wasting my time on you” Lend said, and reached to his ears. The gunship appeared at the entrance of the temple. “Target the supports!”

“Fuck!” Jane cursed as two missiles flew right into the inner support pillars of the temple. The ground started shaking beneath them as the building started collapsing, the ceiling falling down on them, breaking the floor, destroying the artifacts and creating holes in the ground. Knocking them off their feet, Kai Leng moved to the console to retrieve the data.

By the time the building stopped shaking, he was done. He turned back, and to make his way out, he had to go through the others once again.

He reached Liara first and shoved her to the side like she was a pillow. Saren was his next target, but he could not get through him that fast. A couple blows followed each other, and eventually Leng managed to push him back as well, if only temporarily. He turned to Jane, as now she was the only one left in his way.

She dropped her gun, knowing that he had kinetic shields, there was no use for them now. She landed a blow right in his face, but he was not giving up that fast. He was prepared now, the surprise was on his side. He turned to land a kick in her face, and she raised her hand to block, but his legs went to her legs instead of her face. She fell flat on her back, and when she wanted to stand up, another missile launched, striking the right pillar. The explosion sent her to her back again, and Leng was on her in a fraction of a second. His hands wrapped around her neck, and his gloves screeched with sparks.

 

As Saren stood up after the third missile hit, he noticed Leng on top of Jane, wrapping his hands around her neck. Before he could react, he saw electricity, and Jane’s scream shook the building. The sound coming from her throat was the most hellish, heartbreaking sound he ever heard from her, and saw the electricity running through her body, shaking her, breaking her.

Her scream broke him. His mind went blank, and only the thought of her being in danger remained. And in an instant, his wrath exploded into a hellish roar. Kai Leng noticed him, but instead of Saren Arterius, he saw a monster.

Saren’s voice was raw, deep, more dangerous and more dark than ever before. He bared his teeth fully and immediately, clenching them together. His blue eyes focused on Leng, not feeling the ground shaking anymore, not being stopped by mere missiles. His legs lifted off the ground, and he started running to them with a speed that scared even him. Leng removed himself from Jane immediately, and realizing the danger he started to run to the gunship.

But the turian was unstoppable.

Saren reached the assassin in a second, and at the peak of his anger, he didn’t hold back. He grabbed his arm, pulled Leng back, instantly breaking his shoulder and crushing him on the ground. The cry that escaped the man only fueled his frenzy, and he lifted his arm and brutally slammed his fist into the assassin’s face. He flexed his talons and without stopping he shoved them into his face. The claws ripped through the flesh, torturing Leng, who writhed under him, helplessly like a toy.

Saren’s teeth parted for a moment, to make way for the few words that left his mouth, slowly, with a fury so deep, so raw, it paralyzed Leng.

**“No one. Touches. Jane.”**

But Leng was still ahead of them.

Just a fraction of a second later, despite the pain, he reached up with his other hand, and shocked Saren suddenly, with the same device he shocked Jane. He was affected for a lot shorter duration than Jane, but it was enough to stop him. He fell down onto the ground, allowing Leng to stand up and run to the gunship with the last drop of his strength. Saren jumped up, but he could only witness the ship taking off, with Leng and that data on it.

He felt like he was going to explode. He wanted to scream, his heart was racing, and he felt the rage building up in him to a point he never felt before. He hated the reapers, he hated Cerberus, he hated Kai Leng, and he was hungry for all of their blood.

“Saren...” he heard from behind his back. It was a faint but husky voice that brought him back down to reality, and eased his rage so fast, it frightened him.

It was her, it was Jane.

He turned back to run to her, and fell on his knees next to her. His arms moved under Jane’s back, raising her up a bit into his arms.

“Jane” he murmured. His left hand stroked her temple, brushing away the hair and blood from her face. Her blue eyes looked up to him, a bit weak, but alive, searching for him. He watched her ease at his touch.

Protecting her.

She was weak, her nose bleeding, but she stood up after a minute, stumbling outside, looking for Leng, the data, only to find reapers in the sky. They filled the air and the ground, and they knew that this was it. They lost the data, the only chance to end this war, and it was all in vain. Thessia was lost. Liara walked away, aimlessly, shocked.

Jane remained. She was frozen, watching the reapers conquer the ground, crush into the buildings, and Saren watched her. She straightened herself eventually, the look in her eyes trying to mask away her sadness. She looked in his eyes, but she could not keep the wall up for long.

She couldn’t lie to him.

A tear streamed down her face. He reached to her cheek and wiped it away with his talon. Her eyes that still shined like jewels, were now full of desperation. She was so strong, so wonderful, but so incredibly vulnerable at the same time, it baffled him. She had everything that was missing from him, every ounce of honor he left behind, every drop of good will he never had.

He reached his arms out, and took her in his embrace. She leaned into him, finding peace in his arms that wrapped around her tightly. As he stroked her hair slowly, gently, to try and ease the pain, he breathed in her cherry scent, and cursed the world around them.

Time stopped for him.

Everything worth saving in this damned universe was all in her.

His blood was still boiling from the sight where she was lying on the ground, tortured by Leng. He got so angry, he lost his mind, he thought she was going to die. Waking up in a world someday where she wasn’t there seemed an endless torture. He was always alone, never bothered by it, never cared to look around, to enjoy. He always just calculated. And she was his opposite, but still the same as him somehow. So passionate, so playful, so crazy, but just as lonely and weird as him.

What would he do if she would die?

She wouldn’t die, she couldn’t. She was too strong, too perfect.  
Too beautiful.  
His head started spinning, his breath caught, trapped. It hit him, and it hit him like a dreadnought to the face.

He loved her.

She raised her head to look at him, unsuspecting.She told him that they needed to go back to the ship.


	20. Descent

 

  
  


Jane stepped out of the comm room defeated.

Thessia has gone dark, Vendetta was lost, and the damage could not be undone. She felt a grief so deep, it squeezed her chest and lungs. She was still in her armor when she entered the war room, torn to pieces inside. She stopped on Saren’s left side, visibly in agony.

“Commander, the asari forces are in full retreat. This system is not safe.” EDI informed, stepping to her. Jane raised her hand to her face.

“Get us out of here.”

Liara was leaning on the console, staring at the hologram of the planet that was once her homeworld.

“I… don’t know what to say” she whispered, barely audible “I didn’t expect Cerberus.”

“I did” Jane added “I should have been faster.”

“It’s not your fault.” Garrus stepped into the room, stopping next to Saren. He looked at the ground party and he could see the desperation on them - even Saren was ragged for some reason. But obviously not because he was mourning the planet, he figured. “Maybe, we should beat Cerberus, instead of them beating us” he suggested “By destroying them.”

“Ok. Does anyone know where they can be found?” Liara asked, disbelief in her voice. But then Specialist Traynor stepped forward, uncertainty, but also hope in her voice:

“Well… there is something.” 

“Go ahead!” Jane instructed her. Traynor took over the console to show them what she had. A holo route of a shuttle appeared in front of them.

“I tracked the gunship Kai Leng left in, and identified his spaceship. I’m able to track his moves, and it appears he left the system. The only problem is that it’s still moving. Until it reaches a destination, there is really no point going after him.”

Saren added: “I agree. He’s probably onto the Illusive Man here, but if not, we might find ourselves in grave danger if we go in unprepared. We can also easily waste valuable time chasing a possible copycat. I would not be surprised if Cerberus had a defense system in place against tracking, that disturbs readings.”

Jane crossed her arms and leaned on her right leg. Her face was covered by her palm, going through the possible scenarios in her head.

“Leave it.” she eventually decided. She looked around the room and her eyes stopped on Traynor. “This could take days, if he’s travelling somewhere far. Keep tracing him, and when we have a destination, we’ll act as how we see fit. Until then, we have another lead to go on.”

“We do?” Liara was shocked, and her question voiced the surprise of the whole room.

“Yes.” Jane nodded. “I did not only visit Tevos on the Citadel, but also Ann Bryson. We managed to track Leviathan, and have a possible location for it.”

A brief moment of silence settled on the war room.

“We’ll find Leviathan first. Any edge finding him could grant us, we’ll need it against the reapers. EDI, set a course to the 2181 Despoina.”

“Understood.” she chirped then left the room. Jane leaned on the console and for a moment the desperation just took over her. She listened, and her heart was going erratic and she felt her chest tighten. She pressed her lips together to fight the nerves.

“Are you okay?” Garrus asked.

Sharp silence settled in, waiting for her reply. She moved her head in angst, removing her hands from the console. She straightened up, and turned in the direction of the two turians. She opened her mouth to speak, but the world went spinning around her.

Jane stumbled, collapsing for a second, but Saren caught her by the waist, keeping her standing up, but relieving her of her own weight.

“You need rest.” he said to her, more of a demand than an observation. He was keeping his eyes so close on her, Garrus picked up on it. His eyebrows furrowed.

“We’ll take care of her!” jumped Traynor.

“I’m fine!” she waved, pushing Saren and Traynor away, and starting for the door to leave with Liara. As soon as they were out, Garrus turned to Saren.

“What the fuck happened there? Why is she so weak and what is up with you?” he growled, already baring his teeth.

“Kai Leng happened” Saren said, his anger already building up. Garrus was way too protective of his Commander, and it seriously started to annoy him. “He zapped her with electricity, and he zapped me too.”

“Why didn’t you protect her?” Garrus snapped.

“I protected her! And I owe you no explanation, so you better stand down while you can still walk away.”

Traynor stepped back. The two turians were at each other’s throats now, the argument started escalating to a dangerous route.

“You’re lying” Garrus snarled, stepping to Saren. “You are dangerously close to her. And if you think I don’t see through that, you’re wrong. I know who you are, and I will never trust you! You’re the same fucked up monster you’ve always been!” 

The two turians were now an inch away from each other, their nerves stretched to the end, growling, a moment away from a fight.

“Shut your mouth, you dog!” Saren snapped, baring his teeth at Garrus.

And Garrus needed no more.

He jumped on Saren, beating him down to the ground. Traynor screamed, jumping back from them. Saren kicked Garrus in the gut, removing him from his position. Both of them stood up and started a fistfight right then and there.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


When Jane went through the security scanner she heard the commotion from behind her back. She turned back as the alliance soldiers looked at each other. She heard loud thuds, a scream from Traynor. She decided to go back, as there were only two people in the war room, who could produce these sounds.

And she was right. As the doors opened, he saw the two turians in a brutal fistfight in the middle of the room, destroying each other. Traynor was oozing backwards from them to escape the room. 

Her breath stopped when she saw their movements.

They were fast, landing blows of such power on each other’s faces that their plates were swimming in blood in a second. They blocked beautifully too, landed blows that were impossible to land in a normal scenario, their fists crashing together with a force that she could hear their plates crush. It was sheer luck that in the narrow war room they had no space to use their legs for kicks, because the room would have been wrecked already.

They were slamming each other on the console like this already, completely wrecking themselves. She never saw turians - much less turians of this high caliber - fight before, but a part of her found it fascinating. The sheer power of the two of them amazed her. But this thought was buried deep within the longer she looked at their faces, and the blood on it.

**“STOP!”** she cried out, her eyes firing looks of anger at both of them. She descended down the stairs and stood right next to them.

“What the fuck are you doing?” she screamed into their faces. They stood there, dumbfounded. They released each other and took a step back.

“Ask this idiot!” Saren spat, pointing at Garrus with his eyes. He then turned around and simply left. Garrus remained there, wiping the blood off his plates.

“Don’t provoke him!” Jane commanded, tired of the drama. She looked at Garrus, the drops of blue blood running down his temple. She knew he only wanted the best for her, but she had no patience for their fights now.

She eventually said nothing else, and left the room.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Saren went to take a shower, still pumped from the fight they had with Garrus. He could not believe he had the audacity to confront him like this, much less attempt to fight. He killed for much less, many times, and it was sheer luck that Jane came back to separate them. He wouldn’t have killed Garrus as he was a great asset to the war effort (he wasn’t going to abandon logic just for one sweet death), but he probably would have hurt him to point of a nice, not-so-easy to heal state. But Jane did intervene, so that was out the window for now.

Oh yes, Jane… he jumped under the water and just soaked himself, trying to divert his thoughts from the Commander, but he had no luck. He never thought he would ever feel anything for anyone. Sure, he had his fair share of women during his missions and travels, but just as a passing fancy. Love was a concept he could not grasp at all, and never entertained the thought of having someone or even thinking of someone. Love was a state of mind that ruined people: reducing the bravest of men to weak shambles, and strong women to all too eager bitches. It caused confusion and craziness everywhere.

But his mind was surprisingly calm.

Jane was a strange creature, and it made him smirk a bit under the water. The confusion and craziness that he saw other people exhibit when in love, was not even present in his mind. Out of all the women he met in his life, Jane was the only one who ever interested him. It was almost… natural, as if he knew this all along.

He decided to put an end to his thoughts, or at least try, and after getting out of the shower, he went right for the gym. Training always put him in the right headspace. But when he entered the gym, someone was already there. Considering how many times they used to run into each other on the ship because of their similar habits, it was all too logical that it was Jane, beating her nerves out on the unsuspecting, new punching bags.

But it wasn’t her this time. It was that ridiculous human, Kaidan Alenko. He was training, doing pushups next to the wall.

“105… 106...” he counted under his breath, eventually noticing Saren. He raised his chest, finishing the pushups.

The human was laughable. Every time Saren saw him anywhere, it was so obvious that he was after Jane, it hurt his stomach from the inside. He regularly found himself trying to repress his laughter, but this was not the time. He was upset seeing him here: he wanted to train but there was no way he would stay in the same room as this idiot.

And so without a single word, he turned around to leave the gym.

“Hey” Kaidan called. Saren stopped in his tracks, quietly sighing from annoyance.

“What do you want?” he asked, not hiding his frustration.

“What? You don’t want to train in the same room as me?” he teased.

“What an insight… you’re correct.”

“Figured. You think a little human is below you and you are the apex of predators.”

Saren snorted. “At least I’m not hiding it. If I recall, you demonstrated the same thing many times when I entered a room, but it looks like it’s only ok if you’re doing it. But when it’s done to you, you’re offended. I can’t fathom how Jane puts up with you…. And just in case you haven’t noticed, turians are indeed apex predators.”

“Don’t call Shepard  _ Jane _ … you have no right.” Kaidan hissed, standing up now.

Great. All Saren wanted was another unnecessary fight. Why can’t he just train in peace? He loved to fight but this man was below his stimulus threshold.

“You think so?” Saren teased.

“Yes. He’s the Commander of this ship, and you should show some respect.” Kaidan stepped closer. Not dangerously close though. “I know what you’re doing, everybody does. You’re gaining her trust so you can get close to her to do who knows what.”

“Oh, is that so?” he teased again, starting to enjoy the exchange. This man was digging his own grave and it was quite funny to see. “And what if that’s true? You think your oh so respected Commander cannot defend herself against a little turian spectre? That is what you think of her?”

Kaidan was silent.

“You pay way too much attention to who is close to her and who’s not, when you have no idea who she really is or what is that she wants...”

“Really? You think  **you** fit her?” Kaidan was offended and it was visible. Saren was entertained by this already.

“Alenko, you’re talking about Jane. Do you think she would be entertained by a squishy, whiny human who calls himself a man? Who rejects her when she needs friends the most - Correct, I do know about Horizon -, someone who constantly whines about their headaches, doubts her, and cannot be relied on on the battlefield? Do you really think… a woman, who killed reapers, would give a single fuck about you?” Oh he was hurting him, he could see it on Kaidan’s face. He was learning his lesson now. “Do you even know her? Are you even aware that your respected Commander loves killing, loves the blood and the war? Do you realize what it meant when she decided to save the Council, leaving hundreds of your own species to their deaths?”

The disgust on Kaidan’s face was apparent. “And that is coming from the turian who killed one of her friends.” He thought of Ashley, it was evident.

“Incorrect again. How I heard, Jane herself sacrificed her as a result of your shitty distraction plan which couldn’t have been her idea as she hates these kind of tactics. You know nothing about her. So I suggest you shut up about who fits her and who doesn’t..”

Saren turned round and left the gym, the door shutting behind him. Kaidan just stood there, flabbergasted.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_ Jane jumped into the lake. _

_ The water covered her up to her hips, and was extremely cold. She squeaked a bit from the sensation, quickly starting to run to the middle of the lake. Saren just stood there, his mind in a haze from the countless shots of horosk. His eyes fixed on her hair as it flew in the air from the motion. _

_ “Hey!!” she screamed from far away, laughing at the same time, waving at him. “Come oon! It’s not deep!” _

_ Saren looked around. It must have been the alcohol, but it was just like in his dreams, where he dreamt he was on Palaven, in the ocean. The only difference was that this was the Citadel, the Presidium lake, and this was reality. He put his cigarette in his mouth and decided he didn’t care. He was already drunk, and it mattered not. _

_ He crouched down and jumped into the water. _

_ It was freezing cold, and he already regretted doing it, but she egged him on and he couldn’t look like a coward now. So he swallowed his nerves and followed Jane to the middle of the lake. If he was going to die here (turians weren’t good with water), he is going to kill her, it was decided. When he reached the middle of the lake and Jane, he removed the cigarette from his mouth and gave it to Jane. _

_ “Good, good” she laughed, taking a puff. “It wasn’t so hard now, was it?” _

_ “Your team’s bets are idiotic..” he growled. She just laughed. _

_ “Well, you’re taking part in them yourself...” mischief spread across her features. _

_ Saren’s face went white. Is she saying he’s idiotic now? _

_ That was it. _

_ He raised his hands and suddenly pushed her back just enough that she lost her balance, and fell right into the water. His mandibles parted in a loud, evil laugh, enjoying the sweetness of vengeance. But in a second he was under the water as well, tripped by Jane, the shock of cold hitting him. He sat up, and saw her as it was now her turn to laugh out loud. _

_ Damned woman, he thought. _

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Saren woke up in his bed.

The dream he had was a recent memory that burned in his mind on the shore leave. He looked at the clock and saw that it was only a couple hours before they would reach the Despoina. When he thought about the Leviathan, a strange uneasiness took over him. A creature killing reapers… whatever it was, it sounded powerful, and the fact that it was so hidden that it took months to find even added to his nerves. It was something big, he knew.

He eventually left his bed and equipped his armor. He went to the mess hall to drink a coffee, and found it empty.

He prepared his coffee and started drinking it, in armor, just sitting at the table deep in thought.

“Hey” he heard, and looked up. It was Jane of course. Who else? She was also in armor, getting ready. A console in her hand, possibly preparations for the mission. She sat down at the table across from him, scrolling on her omni-tool with a troubled face.

“Hey” he replied.

“I have no idea how to prepare for this..” she admitted with a sigh “The only information I have about the Despoina is from human probes, and all I know is that it’s covered in an ocean.”

“Don’t stress yourself. You’ll find a way. You always do.”

She looked at Saren. He spoke so softly and calm, it was unusual. He had been like this since the shore leave, and she wasn’t sure why. Maybe he felt it too.

The feeling that kept creeping in her heart any time she saw him. The craziness, the confusion, the urge. She wanted to move closer to him, but she decided not to.

“Do they hurt?” she eventually asked, changing the subject. She was looking at his wounds he got from Garrus on his nose and temple. Nothing serious, but they sure looked uncomfortable.

“No...” was all he said before taking a sip from his coffee. He looked her in the eye, and couldn’t ignore the tension in the air, the shadow looming over them anymore. “I wonder what this Leviathan is. A creature killing reapers… not wanting to be found. It’s important.”

“It will get us closer to the reapers.” she agreed.

He suddenly stood up. He left his chair, rounded the table and stopped next to her. Out of instinct, she stood up to meet him, waiting for what he had in his mind. She felt her heart leap as he stopped a few inches away from her with a serious, dark expression on his face.

“Do not remove your ring..” he whispered as he took her right hand into his, and raised it up to eye level. He searched her fingers through her glove with his talons, feeling the ring on her ring finger. “No matter what happens, you must have it on.”

Her heart raced as he touched her hand, even through the gloves. She felt the ring’s pressure on her finger as he touched it, giving her a sense of safety.

He saw the question in her eyes.

“It protects you.” he gave her the answer in his usual baritone. He heard her heart, beating in complete synch with his. He didn’t want to let go of her hand now, and for a second both of them just lingered in time, lost in whatever they saw in each other’s eyes.

“Yeah, see you soon!” came from the corner at the elevator, and suddenly Kaidan stepped into the mess hall. He froze when he saw Jane and Saren, in armor, standing at the table. He held one of her hands almost above his heart, their faces inches away from each other. Saren noticed him, his eyes darting to him in the corner.

He stepped back, let go of Jane’s hand, and without shooting her one last look, he turned around and disappeared in the elevator. Jane didn’t move for another minute, and whatever Kaidan was asking her, she couldn’t concentrate on.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The 2181 Despoina was a nightmare.

The whole world was one ocean, no land whatsoever. The probe they followed was way below the surface of the water, so they planned on going under with the shuttle - according to Cortez it was suitable for deep sea as well, even at high pressures. The only problem was that a pulse hit them that disabled the shuttle and they crashed on a shipwreck.

They had no idea where the pulse came from or what it was - possibly Leviathan’s last line of defense - but they weren’t the first one to get trapped by it. Wrecked ships floated on the surface of the ocean, some unrecognizable. Their crash now made it impossible to dive down with the shuttle, not to mention that the reapers somehow managed to follow them to the planet, sending husks and other monsters against them. They needed another option.

And they were given one.

The ship they crashed on was a military ship - equipped with giant diving mechs - Tritons. There was still one in operation, and they managed to gather energy from the shuttle to give it some juice so Jane can dive down in it. She tried it out - it was a welcome sensation to shoot the shit out of the reaper squads from a giant, bulky mech. And while it was fun, it didn’t last. She got out of it as the reapers retreated, so that Cortez could take a look at it.

“Shepard, are you sure, you’re doing this?” Tali asked, visibly worried. This could go wrong in so many ways she didn’t dare to think of even half of them.

“I need to do this” she said as Cortez examined the mech “The shuttle won’t take us home while the pulse is online, and if we call the Normandy, the whole crew is going to be trapped on this planet.”

“She’s right” added Saren “Leviathan is the only way out.”

“All right, finished.” Cortez stood up, closing his omni-tool and looking at Jane. She stepped up to the mech, and just as she was about get in, Saren grabbed her ankle.

“No” he said, demanding. Jane looked back at him, already upset, but seeing his eyes she was more and more anxious by the minute. “I’m coming with you.” His determination was unbreakable, his voice smooth and strong.

He needed to go.

It was as much as his battle as it was hers. They were equal, alpha and omega, and there was no way in his mind that he wouldn’t go.

“What?” Cortez gasped “This is the only Triton we have!”

“We don’t need another. We’re both going in this one.”

”I don’t know if there are enough resources or power in the-” Cortez was interrupted.

“He’s coming.” was all Jane said. She didn’t care about the resources or the energy, she agreed with him. It was extremely reckless of her, she knew, but they needed to do this. Saren was destroyed by indoctrination, was basically reaper technology... he had more than the right to come along. He said nothing, just stepped up on the mech and sat down. He connected his hands with the controls, and looked at Jane, waiting for her.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this...” Cortez shook his head, turning away. He didn’t understand, but Jane didn’t blame him. She stepped into the mech and sit in front of Saren, throwing her legs together across his things. She inserted her hands to the controls, putting her palm on the back of his hand. They both controlled the mech now, and as the windshield closed, they both pressed the handle to move.

They stopped at the edge of the platform, just a step away from the water. She looked up at him, his expression hesitant. A turian under water. Saren cursed himself now for tagging along.

But they jumped.

The mech sank deep into the water that seemed to have no end. They almost forgot to breathe as the sensation kicked in and they started to feel a bit of pressure, as if they were free falling. The mech did a good job at keeping the pressure inside at normal levels, and everything else seemed fine. But as the meter count on the console showed more and more, they became more entranced. The water turned dark, almost black, the light slowly fading away above them as they descended more and more. The comms were jammed, then non-existent.

“Saren” she gasped quietly, squeezing his hand on the controls.

“Almost there” he calmed her, but he was just as weirded out as she was. He went through a lot even before Sovereign, but this depth had an effect on him he couldn’t really compare to anything. He felt weirder than when he first met Sovereign.

Something big was here.

They soon started to see the bottom, rocks riddled with plants and jellyfish.

They crashed to the pit, the mech shaking from the impact.

“Here we go.” he said “Energy levels optimal. Life support operational.”

“We’re at 3079 meters.” said Jane. They looked around and shot out a flare to provide them with light. The mech slowly started moving, following the rock formations as path. They remained silent, a strange darkness settling on them. They felt pressure, but not from the depth, but from the anticipation that grew more and more within them.

As they jumped deep down below, they knew that Leviathan was indeed here. This place was so old, so hidden, so frightening... Eventually, they found the probe that led them here. They took a few more steps with the Triton, reaching a precipice.

They couldn’t speak, any words they might have shared got trapped in their minds.

A small bubble escaped from under them, from the depth that laid in front of them. Then another bubble. Another, and another.

And in a second, a giant, reaper sized creature showed itself to them. It looked like a reaper, but it looked so much older and organic. It’s carapace like that of the turians, but darker in colour and visibly thicker. It gave off a vibe neither of them had ever felt before. They followed it with their eyes as it towered over the tiny Triton they were in, entrancing them.

This was not what they came for.

It was something completely different.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jane looked back, just to see Saren, to look at his face, his reaction, but as she did so, he was no longer there. She turned back to face the creature, but she found herself in a grey emptiness. Her armor was gone, her black dress was on her now, water under her feet. As she looked down, she could see her own reflection. 

“Jane” she heard. She looked to the side, and saw Saren. He was in his black robe, a confused look on his face.

They heard a sound emanating from all around them, coming from everywhere, hugging them.

_ “You have come too far. You have breached the darkness.” _

“You killed a reaper” Jane replied, looking around for the source of the voice. “We need to know why!”

_ “They are the enemy. One that seeks our extermination.” _

Jane looked at Saren.

“But we thought you were a reaper.” said Saren, automatically. They again looked at each other, confused. He somehow knew what she was going to say. And she knew it too. Something was different now between them as they stood next to each other. They were connected, an invisible weave between them bringing their minds together.

_ “They are mere echoes” _ the voice said  _ “We existed long before them.” _

“Then who are you?”

_ “Something more.” _


	21. Separation

  


_“Your minds belong to me.”_

Javik appeared in front of them. He stepped out of the emptiness, his voice that of Leviathan.

“Javik? What’s happening?” Jane asked the question.

_“Your memories give voice to our words. Your nature will be revealed to us. Accept this”_ said Leviathan with Javik’s face. It communicated to them not by words, but directly to their brains. On the edge of their consciousness, it connected their minds. Saren knew now why he felt such a weird tie between himself and Shepard. They were in their minds, their thoughts clashing together.

“What are you?” Saren asked.

_“Before the cycles, our kind was the apex of life in the galaxy. The lesser species were in our thrall, serving our needs. We grew more powerful, and more hungry. The species were taken, to serve us in their life, and in their death, giving their own to us.”_

“You mean… you destroyed them, to take their essence?” Jane gasped.

“You harvested them” Saren pressed the words out through his teeth slowly. Anger and disappointment filled his voice, his face disgusted. “To elongate your own lives...”

_“You cannot conceive of a galaxy that bends to your will. They were our servants. And we have evolved to acquire them faster. We created the mass relays and the Citadel to speed up the time needed for evolution. But it was not enough. We created an intelligence to serve us in our ultimate purpose of acquiring the species. We formed it from the essence of the lesser species, in our own image. We named it Ekin. You now call it Harbinger.”_

The realization dawned on both of them, freezing them. They stood so close to each other they felt like they were the same being, living the moment they never thought would come. But it was here.

“You created the mass relays and the Citadel? You created the reapers?”

_“Yes. Harbinger was merely a tool to serve our perpetuity. But it grew hungry, maddened by the blood.. And in that instant, it betrayed us. It chose our kind as the first of its harvests.”_

They fell into their own trap. Their hunger and greed destroyed them, embodied by Harbinger.

_“Each cycle ends with the birth of a reaper. Perfect in its design. Each reaper has the power to influence organics. But their power is imperfect, too raw. It spoils organics.”_

They understood now. Leviathan’s powers were clean, instant, and did not leave the subjects damaged, just like the miners. But the reaper infrasound… they all knew the effect it had on living beings.

Saren’s talons dig deep into his palm as the memories flooded him.

“How did you remain hidden all this time?” they asked. Not knowing which one of them asked the question, their voices so similar.

_“Our extermination was not complete. Some survived and found refuge in the dark corners of the galaxy. I am their progeny. Over the cycles, thrall races were controlled to remove the traces of our existence. Today, we reach out through fragments and watch for discovery.”_

A Leviathan artifact appeared in front of them, the globe that led them here.

_“They provide a window to the galaxy. Tools for exploring the events of this cycle from the safety of our worlds. We watch, we study from the shadows.”_

“Why aren’t you fighting back?” Saren’s anger emerged from their minds, his voice thick in the emptiness around them. Leviathan stepped back, turning around.

_“There is no fighting. Only the harvest.”_

“There is!” Jane cried out “Help us stop it!”

_“None ever had the strength to end the harvest. Not even the protheans.”_

“What do you know of the Crucible?”

_“The Crucible is not of our design. It has never been completed. Those who tried fell victim to the harvest. None have found the core. But you are different...”_ it turned around _“I have witnessed your actions in this cycle. The reapers perceive you as a threat.”_ it looked at Saren _“Your reconstruction speaks of Harbinger’s fear more than they admit.”_

Saren looked at Jane, deep in thought, mute.

“Will you help us stop the cycle?” Jane asked quietly.

_“I have searched both your minds. You are an anomaly. You’re organic to the reapers, but machines to organics.”_

It was correct. Both of them reconstructed, stripped of their previous lives. Ghosts in the galaxy, they belonged nowhere anymore.

_“You are singular unknowns, reverse of the same core. Your victories are more than a product of chance.”_

It was all true. The closer they got, the harder it was to separate. The more they fought together, the more similar they became, the same darkness looming inside, waiting to be ignited. Saren brushed his hand to hers, then taking it into his. He squeezed it hard.

They knew it, there was no turning back for either of them.

They had nothing left.

_“We will fight. But not for you or the lesser races. We are the apex of life, we will always survive. The reapers will understand our power, and become our slaves. And now, go.”_

  


* * *

  


Jane fell out of the Triton. She ended up on the ground, followed by Saren who stumbled around, trying to keep his balance, but ultimately falling on his knees. He turned back to reach for Jane, and the two of them helped each other up. Both of them had a hell of a headache and blood was dripping from their noses.

“Shepard!” Tali called, running to them from cover. They were fighting the reaper forces still. One of the Brutes turned after Tali, noticing Shepard and Saren. As Tali ran to help up the Commander, the monster turned in their direction and started charging at them.

Saren was right in front of the brute, Jane covered behind his back.

“Leviathan!!” he roared. A second later the pawn suddenly stopped, freezing for a moment. It then turned back and attacked the other brute that was fighting Cortez. A small smile showed up on his face as he knew, Leviathan was indeed on their side now.

Later, when they escaped in the shuttle, it even sent the reaper chasing them down in the ocean. Despite his unbearable headache, this was a victory all in all.

  


* * *

  


The doctor turned his back on the med computer and stepped to Jane who was sitting on the bed in the med bay. She ordered check-ups for both of them after returning in shock from the Despoina.

“Just like Saren, you are perfectly healthy.” nodded Chakwas.

“Told you!” a smile appeared on Jane’s face and she stood up. She went for the door as they were done here, and waved to the doctor. She really wanted to take off her armor now so she started for her quarters, up until Joker started chirping to her through the radio.

“Commander, you are needed in the war room.” she sighed and changed directions. She went through the ship deep in thought, not being able to let go of what Leviathan said or the feeling that came along with it. She felt the weight of the whole universe on her shoulders, making her sigh in an attempt to get more air. But at the same time, she felt a strange peace, a calmness that lingers before a storm, as heavy as fate.

As she entered the war room, she didn’t even need to look around, her eyes immediately darted to Saren who was standing behind the galaxy map, looking through the hologram and right at her. The blue in his eyes were muted by the projection in front of him, but the look was the same. She slowly stepped down the stairs and approached the others. EDI and Tali started talking and she was listening, but they kept eye contact with Saren all along.

“I received information from the geth that there is a reaper that somehow got deactivated in the Far Rim.” Tali started “What is more interesting is the location - it went silent in the Dholen system, near Haestrom.”

The surprise was visible on Jane’s face who raised an eyebrow in question “Haestrom? Isn’t that the planet we saved you from? The one that has the sun that is aging way too fast.”

“Correct. We suspect the sun was affecting the reaper - and shut it down.”

“With what?”

“This is only speculation, but the sun in that system was aging too fast, because of dark matter appearing in its core. It still grows to this day, and it could very well mean that reapers are weakened by concentrated dark matter. Examining that reaper could give us invaluable data about the reapers.”

“So far the body was left as is by the geth” EDI informed “They told us immediately as they thought it’s best if we examine the wreck first.”

“A wise decision on their part” Saren added in a menacing tone.

“We are indeed lucky” Jane said “What is the ETA?”

“15 hours as we need to pass through The Omega Nebula and the Pylos relay as well.”

“Very well. Set a course for Haestrom and let me know as usual. Dismissed.” she commanded, and everyone dispersed.

  


* * *

 

 

Hours passed before Jane could retire to her quarters. Schematics, mission plans, maintenance issues and just talking to the crew took forever. She visited Liara and Javik, eventually ending up in the battery talking through everything with Garrus for hours.

When she finally reached her shower, she happily jumped in. After finishing with it, she looked in the mirror and examined herself. Considering everything, she looked quite all right. So many things were running through her head, but there was one thought that always came back. Every chain of thought ended in this feeling, and she couldn’t get rid of it. She eventually dressed up and started working with a bit of an ambient music in the background. They only had an hour or so until Haestrom - there was no point in going to bed or even taking a nap, even though she was tired. She put down her console to grab a drink from the cabinet, when she heard someone knocking on the door.

“Come in!” she chirped. The door swooshed open and revealed Saren equipped with a PDA. He stepped in and stopped in front of the fish tank. He looked at the fishies, peacefully swimming in their own little world, not bothered by the conflicts of the universe.

He looked at her and she looked at him, and it was already apparent that he did not come here for nothing. He looked at her the same way he did in the war room. Seeking, wanting to talk, to connect.

“You need to take a look at this.” he started, giving her the PDA “Just a couple algorithms we could integrate into the Normandy. It could help us locating reapers with more accuracy, if it works.”

“You came up with this?” she looked up, examining him. He had a casual grey robe on that blended well with the colour of his plates. He had no gloves on, the silverish tone of his skin peeking from under his sleeves. Even as casual as he was, he still looked almost regal to her. The way he carried himself always commanded respect, even when he let himself go a bit, like now. He wasn’t so hyper-alert in her presence as he used to be. She remembered the first time he was on the Normandy, when she shoved him to the wall. His instincts were so sharp, it almost scared her. And not as an opponent, but as a being.

But that feeling was gone, he was relaxed mostly.

“I’m still analyzing the data I got from the reaper on Rannoch, this is a small fraction of it. I’ll have more later.” Saren looked at her with curiosity. “Are you surprised?”

“Surprise is not the correct word” she shrugged “I wasn’t surprised when you came up with the targeting algorithms either. I’m just impressed.”

A small smirk appeared on Saren’s face, but Jane didn’t see it as she turned around. He said nothing, waiting for her to see what she was doing. She went to one of the cabinets in the back and opened it. She rummaged a bit, then returned with two glasses, one filled with golden whiskey, the other with bright blue horosk. She handed the horosk to the turian.

“Cheers” she said, and they drank a bit.

“You even have booze in your quarters... Jane, you have a problem.” Saren stated, looking up from his glass, an evil smile shining at her.

“Shut up, you have the same problem” she smiled at him “The turian who’s favourite is a drink that puts others into coma should remain silent!”

He chuckled a bit, and as his mandibles parted, the tension somehow escaped her. He was about to reply but she interrupted him.

“We might have to kill the Leviathans..”

Saren froze and started following her with his eyes as Jane turned around and started circling in the room.

“Why?” he asked, a clear expectation in his voice regarding her answer. She turned around again at her bed, facing him, giving him the exact answer he counted on. It seemed that this has weighed down on her since they returned from the mission, since her face was suddenly so serious and troubled.

“They are responsible for the cycles. Their greed and hunger started all this shit, and the reapers exterminating them didn’t teach them their lesson. They’re still arrogant and dense. They are only helping us to climb on our backs and defeat the reapers. And once that’s done, they’ll want to reinstate their reign. If we won’t be beaten by the reapers, we will be eaten by the Leviathans. And I know you would do the same.” her eyes were beaming with the usual fire that amazed him every time. She was confident, logical, but passionate in every word.

“I have a bad influence on you.” he noted as his voice rumbled in the room. “But a couple drops of blood is going to save millions.”

He closed the distance between them and stood in front of her.

“I’m not going to attack them if they don’t hurt us” she explained “But we need to keep our eyes open.”

He cleared his throat, looking at his glass and the blue liquid circling around in it. “You know humans are not my favourite species to say the least… but you’re not entirely hopeless, Jane.”

She smiled at that. They toasted, and finished their drinks. Saren took the glass out of her hand and placed them down on the coffee table. The white box that used to hold the ring in it was still there.

Jane looked at him from behind, her heart heavy with all the problems she had enough of. Saren must have noticed, because he stepped to her after putting down the glasses, and moved a hand up to the side of her face.

“What are we going to do if this is all over… if we win?” she asked, looking at the floor as he touched a lock of her hair and moved it behind her ear. “What else is there after saving the galaxy? All I know is travel and war, nothing else. I have no idea what to do with peace.”

“There is nothing else in this galaxy for you.” she heard him saying as she slowly moved into his embrace, just like back on Thessia. His arms wrapped around her, loosely, just holding her enough to feel her scent. She closed her eyes and as her temple touched his chest, she felt the vibrations of his voice. As she wrapped her hands around his torso, the moment she touched the material, a shiver went down her spine.

“What do you mean?” she whispered the question into his chest. The ambient music was still on in the background and Saren just now noticed it. He moved a leg a little bit, taking a tiny step, his weight slowly shifting to his other leg. Jane automatically followed, and they slowly started to move, resembling a very slow, tired, intimate dance.  


“Dark space.” he explained.

She smiled as she imagined it.

“When this is all over, we grab a ship and leave this galaxy behind. We sail out and see what the universe can offer… see if it can keep us entertained with the reapers gone.”

She liked the idea. Even if just imaginary, it calmed her. It seemed so logical, so otherworldly, it fit perfectly. She never fitted in here. Not into society without parents or any upbringing, not into the military with her explosive tactics, not into the world of organics where she felt like a cyborg.

“Deal.” she replied quietly, a small smile on her face. She raised her head and looked up at Saren in his embrace. His eyes settled on her.

“But we’re not bringing any Mako with us, you’re going to kill me otherwise..” he commanded, half serious, half joking. She started laughing, and as her laughter rang around him, he couldn’t help but think how beautiful she was. How her hair fell onto his chest as she laughed, her husky voice so sweet, full of emotion. He couldn’t stop himself, he needed her. His hands instinctively moved to the small of her back, and in one move he pulled her closer, pressing her core to him.

Jane went silent.

The force with Saren pulled her to him wasn’t big, but it was distinct, firm. Unmistakeable.

Her laughter died, the air left her lungs. She looked at Saren, and his closeness messed her up badly. Her insides shuddered as his hands pressed to her back, and he bowed down to her.  


Their foreheads slowly touched.  


Jane knew what this meant, but she didn’t mind. It felt right, it felt true. The cold touch of his plate, his talons stroking her shoulder pulled her into a reality that was truer than anything she ever felt before. As he looked into his eyes, she knew that there was no going back.

No other man could ever touch her anymore.

Her heart leaped and time turned back. To all the times he looked at her while fighting, dancing through the enemy. When he woke up on Namakli, under the wreckage. When she first looked into his eyes on Virmire, trying to convince him.

It was him, and it had always been just him. From the first moment she laid her eyes on him, all this time, she knew where they would end up. Unspoken for so long, it came to the surface now. No one ever understood her or protected her the way he did. No man came close to him in anything. No one could replace his intelligence, the works of his wonderful mind, the raw power, the way his coldness warmed up around her. The feeling of the cold danger he emanated thrilled her.

The blue light of the fish tank enveloped them, the jellyfish innocently swimming around. Leviathan’s words hang around in the air, deep in the caves of their minds.  


“You are singular unknowns, reverse of the same core.“  


Her nails dig into his robe on his chest, his mandibles clicking slightly in reply. She relaxed in his embrace, letting his hand ascend to her face and dig into her fiery hair. A slow, deep, seductive growl escaped from his throat that made Jane move even closer to him. As she touched his jaw, his head eased into her hand. The texture of his skin was fascinating.

All she could see was his eyes, burning into hers like fire. His embrace tightened. A sharp talon traced her jawline as their noses touched, the cold of his silver plates on her warm, pale skin. They breathed, her lips inches away from his. The world became hazy.

 

Saren moved.

  


“Commander, wherever you are, you are needed in the war room right this instant!!” Joker’s voice ripped them out of the moment, shattering the illusion. Jane pushed herself away from him in her surprise, almost scared by the abrupt noise. Saren exhaled through his nose while burying his face in his right palm. The sudden lack of contact left them dry, dim. He looked at her, wanting nothing else just to touch her again. He was going to kill Joker one day.

“What the fuck, Joker?!” her husky voice ripped through the air, almost shouting at the comms.

“I’m sorry but it’s important Commander, it cannot wait.” he replied. Jane sighed, looked at Saren in frustration and just decided to go. She stormed out of her quarters.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“What happened?” Jane asked as she entered the war room with Saren closely behind her. Garrus, EDI, Traynor and Tali were there, all of them looking anxious.

“Kai Leng just reached his destination” Traynor started “He’s currently on Horizon, where the Sanctuary facility is. We also just now received news that the facility has gone dark, after reaper activity detected in the system.”

Jane closed her eyes, a deep sigh leaving her lips. This was the worst possible timing for Leng to appear, and not just because of it disturbed her and Saren, but because they were only an hour away from Haestrom. And the reapers too… can’t she just have a moment of piece?

“We have to turn back” Garrus suggested “Otherwise whatever Leng wants to do on Horizon we’ll not be able to stop.”

“That reaper is extremely important, and we may not have another chance like this” Tali added “But we know that Leng carries information about the Catalyst. The reaper is an unknown on the other hand. I understand if you want to turn back to Horizon.”

Even though Tali was telling the truth, it did not make it easier for Shepard. Saren stepped forward and basically voiced her thoughts:

“I disagree. Both are equally important. We have no idea how long that reaper is going to be there, if it’s dead or just deactivated. If we miss this opportunity we might never have another again, and it could contain information that we can get from nowhere else. But the same goes for Leng, too. If he escapes, we may never see him again until it’s already too late. You need to choose, Jane.”

She looked at him. His expression was strong, firm and confident. He nodded at her.

“We need both” she started after a moment of silence. “We’re already here. Tali and I can meet up with the geth near Haestrom in an hour, but without the Normandy. We can board the reaper from the geth ship and conduct the investigation. In the meantime, you turn back to Horizon with the Normandy, beat up that fucker Leng and come back to pick us up.”

This was the first time Jane saw Saren genuinely surprised. His mandibles clicked anxiously, opening his mouth to speak, but Garrus spoke sooner.

“Shepard, this is crazy...”

“I will not leave neither the reaper, nor Leng behind. They’re too important!”

“I’ll go to the reaper” Saren stated without hesitation, his voice almost commanding.

“Bullshit, you need to go after Leng. You’ll lead the ground team on Horizon.”

Garrus snorted. “What?”

“You cannot go on the reaper alone!” Saren argued, ignoring the fact that Jane just given him command over the ground team “I’m reaper tech, I will go to the reaper, it’s crazy the other way around...”

“Saren!” she argued “This was an order.” she sighed, letting her anger and frustration go, and let the logic take over “You almost killed Leng on Thessia. He’s afraid of you, and we need to use that. You have to be the one to chase him, he’s likely to make more mistakes like that. Besides, the deactivated reaper is probably a trap anyway. And let’s be honest, it’s probably made for me and not you. I need to be on that reaper for this investigation to mean something.”

The sharpness of the silence was so dense in the room, it could be cut with a knife.

She was fucking crazy, and even though that was what he loved about her, he just couldn't accept this plan. It was too much, too risky and was borderline insane.

“Fuck this, Jane” he said it out loud, the others in the room in dead silence. “You may be the Commander of this ship, but I will not assist you in killing yourself.”

“Then you can fuck off of this ship if you’re not respecting my orders!” she shouted, then turned to EDI “EDI, get Cortez to ready the shuttle. Tali, round up that geth ship, I want to be on board in an hour. After we drop, Joker will set a course for Horizon immediately. Understood?”

“Aye-Aye” came Joker’s voice from the comms.

She nodded and stormed out of the room, almost knocking Saren up in the process.

“Way to go, asshole” Garrus noted as he looked at Saren, then left the room himself.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! <3
> 
> Thanks for reading my fanfic so far <3 Just a little author's note.  
> I just wanted to let you know that this fanfic is going to have an alternative ending instead of the canon one in the original games. As you might have noticed, this is the chapter where the main line starts to differ from the default route, so just wanted to let you know that there will be an alternative ending here (when we'll get to it).
> 
> I did paint Jane today because I was in the mood. If you wanna check it out head to my DeviantArt page, I go by the same username, so WorldAnchor. :) I might paint Saren OR the two of them together next, so you can watch me there if you're interested. ;) I have also started uploading the chapters to DeviantArt for funsies. 
> 
> I cannot even tell you how much it means to me that someone is reading this. This story was in my mind for years, and I almost gave up on art, but this is giving me life <3 I hope you'll continue to like it :)
> 
> Ps. Next chapter comes on Sunday (so 5 days from now, as usual).


	22. Fury

  
  


When she finished equipping her armor, Jane sat down on her bed and buried her face into her palms. A long, tired sigh left her as she digged into her hair, combing it back along her scalp in frustration.

“What the hell...” she said out loud.

They almost kissed with Saren.

And she loved that feeling. Her body still remembered his touch, and it was hard to let go and focus. It should have been weird, but it was natural. But now they will have to separate. She needed to put her feelings aside for now and nail this mission so she can get the information and come back to him.

She gathered herself, stood up and entered the elevator. It seemed like years until it stopped, but she noticed it didn’t reach the shuttle bay yet. The door swooshed open and her heart almost stopped as Saren entered.

He just barged in to stop right in front of her and closed the door. His expression was full of anger and frustration, his mandibles twiched anxiously. The elevator started to descend again.

“Are you completely crazy?” he questioned her, his tone aggressive and commanding. “It’s a trap. You’re going to kill yourself and I won’t even be able to do anything about it!”

“It has to happen, Saren, we’re not getting what we want any other way!” she snapped back.

“I don’t care! What do you think weighs more? Not having information or a dead Shepard?”

“I’m not going to die!” she shouted, and as the door opened at the shuttle bay, she walked past him, brushing her shoulder to his chest aggressively in the process. She stormed through the bay, Saren hot on her heels. “I’m not some weakling, and I thought you knew that!”

“I never said you’re weak! I’m saying you’re acting irrationally!” his voice was thick with a low growl escaping his chest as he followed her. Cortez and Tali looked up at them from the shuttle, not being noticed in the heat of the argument. Jane turned back to Saren, stopping suddenly and slamming her palm on his armored chest:

“You’re acting irrationally! What would you do if you were me? You would do the same exact thing! So stand down and trust me, because I don’t give a single flying fuck about how hard you try to oppose me, this is still my ship and my crew!”

She exhaled, calming herself.

“Please, Saren. I need you to handle Horizon.”

He closed his eyes. She was so stubborn, but she was right: they couldn’t let either of the missions go. But then again the thought of Jane in the hands of everything he ever resented caused his blood to boil. He was so angry he could destroy half the ship, but he needed to calm down. He knew she was capable, and they had no other choice.

“Just...” he exhaled through his nose, his mandibles squeezed to his jaw tight. He opened his eyes. “... Return home to me.”

She smiled softly. Home.  
She looked into his blue eyes. She wanted him to come along so badly, it set her nerves on fire, but it was impossible.

“Deal. But you need to promise me something too.”

All of his attention was hers. “Spill.”

“Destroy Leng for me.”

The heat, the vengeance in her eyes ignited him inside. His hands clenched into fists at his side as he made his promise to her on his usual thunderous voice.

“Deal.”

Then, without another word or touch, Jane stepped back and entered the shuttle. Saren nodded, then turned around and left. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren stepped out of the shuttle and jumped on the ground. Javik and Garrus followed him, looking around the facility. Sanctuary was large, but Saren’s desire to finish this mission as soon as possible was a lot greater. That was also the reason behind choosing Garrus and Javik as the ground team. They were by far the fastest and the strongest on the ship, not mentioning being brutal. Even though Garrus was very logical and calculative in combat, he knew when to let his anger go, and Javik was the same. Despite him hating both of them, this was the best possible setup for him to be able to finish this job the fastest way.

He spoke to them without even turning back.

“I don’t give a damn about what Cerberus is doing here. Our only object is Kai Leng.”

They nodded and started wrecking the place.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The reaper floated around the edge of the system, far from the sun and the other planets. The geth ship silently docked, carrying Jane, Tali and a group of geth soldiers to accompany them. As the shuttles opened and they boarded the machine, they found it completely dormant, empty of any troops of movement.

“Prepare for an ambush. This is likely a trap.”

“It looks like it’s empty..” Tali voiced her thoughts as they progressed through the reaper. Empty metal corridors followed each other, crashing together, ending where not expected. It looked like the structure of it was completely different to any spaceship they’ve seen before, like it was not made for anyone to walk its corridors.

A feeling started creeping into Jane’s mind that they were not supposed to be here.

“Can you feel it?” Tali asked as they scouted. She was looking behind her back all the time, strangely losing direction once or twice. “It’s like the walls are alive...”

“Yes, but it’s really vague...” Jane replied, looking around. She did feel the same, but it was muted, distant.

“Vague?” Tali looked at her with confusion “It’s like it’s almost talking, watching. This is anything but vague...”

It was strange, but she didn’t feel it that strongly. She shrugged and they proceeded further, trying to find their way to anything within that could tell them what was going on here. A control panel, an engineering room, anything. But the reaper was not built for organics, and they got lost numerous times. It took them hours to find something, and with every minute, Tali became more stressed.

“Jane, I don’t think we should be here..” she panted, constantly looking behind her back, searching for something.

“Are you alright?” she stepped closer, putting her hands on her shoulders.

“No..” she breathed “This place is still alive… How can you not feel it?”

She had no idea. It was clear that the reaper’s effect on organics was still in place and Tali was affected by it, but her… It was just too quiet in her mind to bother her.

They proceeded nonetheless and eventually found a control room of some sorts, with a console mounted on the wall. They stepped closer to it.

“Can you use this console?”

Tali sighed, breathing heavily. “I don’t know, I never came across any reaper systems before...” she raised her omni-tool and started working. Jane turned around and wondered away from the console. She found a small door, and when she touched it, it opened, letting her proceed to another room.

It must have been some sort of a cockpit, rows of control panels laying in it in front of a wide window. She looked at the cold metal walls, the air carrying dust particles that shined in the light as the reaper turned in float to face the sun. The panels heated up a bit as the sun rays fell on them, but they were not strong enough here to burn anything. She closed her eyes as the sunlight reached her helmet, even though her helmet was protecting her.

She felt the floor move below her, the walls come a bit closer. She heard a whisper, a distant hand touching her back. She turned around.

“Shepard!” Tali’s voice pulled her out of the darkness and she returned to the other room.

“What did you find?”

“The reaper… it’s...” she touched her helmet, clearly disturbed by the atmosphere “It’s deactivated. It’s not just not doing anything, or pretending to be broken. There are no protocols running that would be triggered by someone entering the ship. Nothing stopped me from hacking this data, it’s completely defenseless. Most systems are offline, the only major thing still running somewhat is the drive core...”

“So does that mean that...”

“This is not a trap, Shepard. This reaper is actually deactivated.”

Jane stepped back, not knowing where to turn. If the reaper actually is defenseless and dormant, and it was caused by the sun, this could give them the edge in the war they were looking for.

“All right. I have found another room as well.” she said, pointing to the control room she discovered just a minute ago “Take a look there as well, maybe we can gather more data.”

Tali did as she asked and connected to the system in the other room as well.

“Hmm… This looks like a cockpit to me. These consoles provide access to various systems, including navigation and event logs. But why would a reaper have a control room like this if it’s autonomous?” Tali speculated, going through the logs.

“Remember that Saren was able to drive one too, and the derelict reaper we found in Hawking Eta had the full infrastructure built in it, just like this one.”

“The geth collective also has data from Sovereign’s infrastructure.” added one of the geth soldiers.

“You’re right.” Tali said “Maybe it’s for the servants in the given cycle to be able to tend to the reaper...” It was probably correct. Saren also did travel with Sovereign, it would make sense for the reapers to be built in a way that would help them in these cases.

Tali then suddenly stopped, turning back and motioning at Jane to come “Look at this, I‘ve found the event logs!” Jane stepped to her, but all she saw was tech logs that made little sense to her.

“What’s it say?”

“Right after leaving the relay, there was a drive core and nav system failure. The core overheated…”

“What caused the overheat?” asked one of the geth.

“If you ask me it was concentrated dark matter. I find it highly unlikely that reapers just malfunction like this. It’s also suspicious that the moment it came close to the sun, it overheated. The dark matter in the sun must have somehow reached the eezo core… Dark matter essentially cannot lose energy, that’s why it cannot interact with objects and form connections of matter. It seeping into the eezo core caused it to overload.”

“So essentially...” Jane draw the conclusion “... reaper cores can be overloaded using dark matter.”

“It seems so.”

The happiness she felt was overbearing.  
This was a direct weapon against the reapers, the first actual thing pointing out a weakness of theirs. This information needed to be taken advantage of, immediately.

“We need this ship, it needs to be researched, so we can use this as a weapon.” she said.

“I don’t think that is possible.” Tali informed, turning her attention back to the consoles “The dark matter caused a chain reaction. Even though the core is cooled down now, it’s slowly heating back up again, and it will overload over time. I’m saving the logs, afterwards we should get out of here as fast as possible. This ship is not stable.”

“Great, then-”

She was interrupted as the whole ship suddenly moved. They all tumbled around, falling on the floor as the reaper moved.

“What the fuck?” Jane shouted as she stood up, looking out the window. The sun disappeared from the horizon and the other stars appeared in the distance. “We’re turning around!”

Tali gathered herself and went back to the consoles to check what was happening, but all she received were warnings.

“I can’t get back in again! It’s not letting me!” she cried, trying still, but Shepard touched her shoulder.

“It’s awake. We need to get out of here now.”

A screeching, sharp sound exploded in their heads suddenly, causing Tali to scream. The control panels lit up with different colours and the light started dancing in chaos before everything going dark. Then suddenly all the lights on the corridors came to life, the control panels stabilizing. The force that sent them to the ground was no more as the mass effect field of the reaper reinstated again.

“We need to go” the geth said, picking Tali and Jane up from the ground and making their way back.

_ “You will pay for your intrusion.” _

Jane stopped, looking back. The sound came from her head, disorganizing her thoughts.

“Get out of my head!” she cried as she ran after the others, trying to escape the awakening reaper.

“It’s in my mind!” Tali screamed, the intellectual force weighing her down. One of the geth units grabbed her to carry her out, as they were unaffected by the reaper’s consciousness. Jane finally reached the shutter to the docking tube. It was closed, but one of the geth managed to hack their way through it, so the door opened.

“Go go go!” she commanded, herding the team through the door right into the tube. Once all of them were through, she started to follow behind them, but at the last moment, her legs gave up and she stopped.

She couldn’t move.

_ “You’re not going anywhere.” _ sounded the voice in her head.

“Shepard!” she heard Tali cry out as they reached the geth ship’s shutter. She wanted to move, to run to them, but she just couldn’t move. Pain surged through her body, twitching her muscles and making her head almost split in two. “Shepard!!!” Tali started flailing around, eventually climbing down from the geth that carried her and she started running right back to her.

“No, Tali!” she screamed, trying to squeeze the words out “Get back... to the others!”

As the quarian reached the shutter, it shut closed before her.

“No!” she screamed, falling to the door. She grabbed her omni tool in haste, trying to hack it open, bypass its systems, do anything to open it, but every attempt failed. No matter what she did she couldn’t open the shutter, the reaper had full control over it now.

“Creator Zorah, we need to leave” argued one of the geth, grabbing her arm.

“No! We can’t leave her!”

“We have to, this door cannot be opened anymore. If we stay, you will die too. Our first priority now is to get help.”

“But..” a tear left her eyes under her helmet, but she had to let go of the door. “I’ll bring Saren to help you, I promise!” she whispered to the door before turning around to escape.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren was surprised at how smoothly they proceeded so far.

Javik was great at mid-range, Garrus kept the more dangerous targets away from them with his rifle, and he could immerse himself in close-range combat. They wiped the facility of reaper troops in an hour and have discovered Kai Leng was also going through the field. It did not take long until they were hot on his heels, chasing him from room to room as he tried to leave the facility. Whatever data he gathered here was with him now, but it was not what they were interested in. The data of Vendetta was still with him, and they needed that to finish the Crucible.

“There!” Javik shouted as he noticed Leng entering the airducts, and Garrus immediately starting shooting at it. Saren ran to the next room following the ducts, and when the assassin hopped out from them, he waited for him with a punch to his abdomen.

Leng fell back right into a control panel. Before Saren could follow up, he threw one of his daggers in his direction, which the turian dodged easily.

“Hand over the data!” Garrus shouted as he caught up with them, pointing his rifle at Leng.

“I’d rather die!” he hissed, trapped in the corner of the room.

Saren needed no more. “I’m fine with that!” he shouted, jumping right on him. They started fighting, and even though Leng was fast, Saren’s strength came up on top once again. No matter the cybernetics Kai possessed, a half-reaper turian’s metal fist hit him hard each time, and right at the spots that hurt the most. Like his left shoulder that Saren broke previously on Thessia.

He stepped on it with full force, like it was a piece of stone, causing him to scream out in pain. Javik decided he wasn’t even needed for the fight and just leaned back to enjoy the beating. He looked at Garrus, who nodded at him with approval.

“Give me the data!” Saren’s voice shot through the air as he grabbed Leng again, tossing him to the floor. He winced in pain, eventually reaching into a pocket and grabbing the PDA that Saren saw him save Vendetta’s data on, on Thessia.

The assassin’s face distorted into a lifeless smile, his cybernetics flared up in strain. Saren reached for the PDA as he pinned him down, but just before he could grab it, the assassin closed his hand, breaking the tech in the process.

“You’ll never... have the data...” he coughed in a middle of a wicked smile, watching Saren’s anger peak as he witnessed the small PDA turn to electric dust in his hands. “You reaper… shit...”

“Really? Your last word is ‘shit’?” Garrus buried his face in his palm.

But his comment was quickly forgotten as Saren snarled at Leng, a hellish roar escaping his mouth. 

“You hurt Jane, and for that you will die. I promised her your blood, and I never fail!” He was done with Leng, and was ready to pay back the pain he caused him and Jane. He raised his fist in a moment of wrath and he crashed it so hard into the assassin’s face, his skull cracked.

Javik hissed in surprise. He started to like Saren.

He rose up from Leng’s corpse, red blood dripping from his plates. He wiped it away in a moment of pure disgust, his eyes beaming with anger. He ripped Kai’s omni tool off of him and put it away.

“I’m sure you had a backup of that data. You died for nothing, you sick fuck..” he commented, removing his gaze from his body.

Garrus was taken aback.

This level of brutality was never seen in their team, and even though he expected something like this from Saren, it still caught him off guard. All of his moves were of a predator, a killer in motion. His face was lit up with the ecstasy of vengeance, like he completed a mission long due. And judging from his words, he promised nothing less than this to Jane.

But the silence was broken by Saren’s omni tool chirping.

[Saren, you need to get back to the ship right now!] came the frantic voice of Joker over the comms in their ears.

“And it was just getting fun...” Javik commented.

“What happened?” Garrus asked in hurry.

[Tali returned! The reaper… the Commander...]

Joker continued, but his words mashed together in Saren’s mind. His eyes widened in shock as the pilot continued to break the news. The fury that took him over was overwhelming.

 

 


	23. Come home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the hiatus, I had an extreme two weeks and did not have a second to sit down and write. I'm so happy I'm at it again, so stay tuned to the next chapter! :) Thank you so much for reading, I hope you'll like it! :)

  
  


The Normandy picked up the ground team from Sanctuary, and as soon as they boarded, they rushed to the War room. Saren ran through the ship like a bulldozer as the wrath clouded his eyes. Cortez watched frozen as the turian charged into the elevator, his feet heavy on the floor as he ran, like a wild animal pulled by the forces of anger.

His vision blurred, the realization that Jane was missing from the ship still vivid in him. His insides burnt, he wanted to shatter everything that came in his way, starting with the reaper that took her and the space that was now between them. He shouldn’t have left her. He shouldn’t have thought that this was a good idea. He didn’t give a single fuck about anyone here, nor the ship, but her… his blood was boiling with an intensity that scared even him. He couldn’t see straight, he couldn’t hear anything, all that was left was just clear, crushing regret pressing on his chest. His constant growl left the crew of the Normandy mute, and when he entered the War room the air froze into ice.

Tali, EDI and Traynor waited for them in there, all silent.

Tali’s face was buried in her hands, her posture defeated, and as the ground team entered, her eyes darted towards Saren.

“I...” she whispered with a broken voice.

Saren got stuck at the entrance. He wanted to just kill Tali.

The only thing holding him back was that little thought in the back of his mind that told him that Tali loved Shepard, and she loved her too. She would never forgive him for the quarian’s death.

Garrus ran to Tali, curling his arms around her, looking back at Saren. He was waiting for him to attack. To shout, to break and wreck the room in his anger. He was ready to protect Tali from this monster, and it mattered not how angry Jane would be. But instead, all that happened was Saren’s mandibles clicked. In frustration, anger, or possibly sadness.

He came down the steps with ragged movements, leaving Javik behind and moved to the console in front of him. He leaned on it, looking at the projection of the reaper on the holo. A heavy silence settled on the room, everyone waiting for Saren’s reaction. It took all of his composure to keep his cool.

She was so far from him.

He never thought this would come to pass that Jane wasn’t with him. It seemed so impossible and frustrating that it made him sick to the stomach. The girl stealing a smile from him on Virmire grew into something his mind battled to believe.

He did not remove his gaze from the projection.

“How did it happen? How did she get trapped?” he asked.

“I’m sorry...” Tali sobbed “She made sure we were in the docking tube first. Then she just...” she sniffed in agony “...The door closed and I couldn’t open it anymore...”

“Where is the reaper now? Are there any troops on it?”

“No troops, and it’s still in the Dholen system.”

Saren stated without a second of hesitation: “She needs to get out of there, she’s going to be indoctrinated.”

“How much time do we have?” asked Traynor.

“That usually depends on what the reaper wants to do.” he informed “If they want a competent slave, it can take weeks or months. If destruction is the goal a couple days tops. For lesser minds, it takes hours.”

Tali stepped forward leaving Garrus’ embrace. “This reaper is different.”

Saren turned to her, stepping closer. The little quarian did the same, still broken but not afraid. “How so?”

“It’s damaged. It got deactivated by the dark matter that seeped into its core and overloaded it. Barely any of its systems were working and the drive core was messed up from the dark matter. It’s heating back up again, resulting in another overload.” she said.

“It’s also likely crazy” Traynor added “It left the Dholan system three times, and drifted between other star systems. Never once did it use the mass relay, and it’s currently circling around Haestrom.”

That was strange. Saren turned back to Javik who was listening in the background. “Did anything similar happen in your cycle?”

“Yes.” he nodded, coming closer and settling next to Saren “Occasionally a reaper would deviate from the others. Those all had damaged drive cores.”

“That’s because the drive core supplies the energy” Saren voiced his thoughts “It cannot run all of its processes that are responsible for the cognitive programming.”

“Wait” Tali interrupted him “You know how they work?”

He exhaled disappointedly.

“Not entirely, but I do have some knowledge from the time I travelled with Sovereign. I know that their build resembles organics, leviathans. They need energy to function properly just like us, or other non-sentient ships. If there is not enough energy, the functions suffer. That is why we must act fast.”

“What do you mean?” Tali asked. Saren motioned at the projected reaper.

“There are two ways to indoctrination with infrasound. High-intensity, short overexposure, or a longer term, step-by-step method. Infrasound in large quantities will destroy a mind, but in smaller quantities, over time, it transforms it. Any reaper in their right mind would take this opportunity to indoctrinate Jane in the best possible way. Slowly and ruthlessly, to ensure that the hope of the galaxy turns into a sleeping agent of the reapers. This is how they can do the most damage.”

“But this reaper is insane.” Javik argued. Saren nodded.

“Exactly. It’s going through the system like it’s void of reason. It’s probably going to destroy Jane as fast as possible.”

Garrus started growling: “Then what? We have a day and that’s it?”

Saren leaned on the console again.

“Not… necessarily.” he said suspiciously “I made sure that would not be so easy of a task to do.”

“What did you do?” asked Garrus, his mandibles held tight to his jaw. Saren straightened his back, strangely confident.

“I gave her a ring.”

Garrus shifted uncomfortably. The ring that appeared on her hand after Rannoch... He knew it was from Saren, but he’d never given it a second thought. He thought it was some sick form of binding Shepard to him... It looked like he was wrong.

“It’s not a common ring, it’s a tiny prothean computer. We all know that reapers use infrasound for indoctrination...” The tension was sharp in the room, only Saren’s metallic voice filling the air. “...That ring blocks infrasound.”

Tali moved so fast, Garrus could barely react. It was a move of trust, in which she crashed into Saren, hugging him.

“Thank you” she whispered. Saren froze, not knowing what to do from the surprise. It wasn’t every day that his actions were appreciated by anyone. Garrus’ surprised face however was easing his tension. Tali then let go of him, looking him in the eye “I now know why she reacted so differently to the reaper ship when we boarded. She felt a lot less than what I did.”

Saren smiled. This was proof that the ring was working.

“Still, it’s not enough. It helps, but it’s not going to save her.” he turned to the reaper again “I’m going back for her.”

Garrus cleared his throat and corrected him: “You mean  **_we._ ** ”

“No. I will go, and I will go alone. You can all be indoctrinated, you cannot come. I am immune to it, therefore I am the only one fit for the task. Not to mention hacking. I should be able to succeed where you could not proceed otherwise.”

“You know it all fist so conveniently...” Garrus started, his tone sharp “She gets taken by a reaper, and you follow her to save her... And then you forget to return. It’s a perfect plan to get her captured and save yourself too in the process. And by the time the Normandy notices the trick, you have already killed her.”

“You fool” Saren growled in reply, his hands clenched into fists. “Your misguided judgement clouds your logic!”

“Why should we trust you?”

He sighed. “Because you have no other choice.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


The door shut behind Saren upon entering his bunk. He stopped in there, frozen for a second. The tension in his body that he pushed down so deep while talking to the crew held him still. He felt his vision go blurred as the nerves were escaping him, even though he desperately tried to keep them hidden. He felt his stomach almost jump in angst as he walked to his workstation. He looked at his tools like they were the only things keeping his mind together.

It wasn’t working.

He crashed his hands into the table and ripped it in half in a second. It was all coming loose and as the blood rushed in his veins he started destroying everything. A sharp, desperate roar escaped him, leaving his lungs empty, dry. All the tools were flying, and once he was done with the table, he destroyed everything else in the room. When there was nothing else left, he suddenly stopped.

He threw himself to sit on his bed, his elbows on his knees, supporting his head. He looked at his hands, his talons, still remembering how he held her tiny hands in his. She belonged with him. She was meant to be with him, and not millions of miles away. The only being in the universe who he cared about the slightest could not be taken away so easily.

Especially not by indoctrination.

When he thought about it, his hands clenched into fists. The memory was living within him deep, tearing him down at the back of his mind.

But she was capable, and he was sure she was still alive, fighting that damned reaper.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Heavy air surrounded her, muting and paralyzing her.

She couldn’t open her eyes, her headache was pounding and did not let any of her thoughts finish. She felt like she was frozen in time, floating in air in the middle of nowhere. The muffled sound of the reaper was all around, but she heard it really vaguely now, like through a glass window.

The world was moving around her, the reaper kept turning and twisting in space. The sun appeared, then left her, then returned again. Soon she was in the emptiness without light, feeling the distance of the stars. As the reaper turned, she turned with it, like a sunflower towards the sun.

She had no idea how much time had passed. Hours… Days.... Who knows. She couldn’t do anything, she couldn’t hack reaper technology and she had no weapons to make an escape of her own. She had no shuttles anyway, so there was nothing to escape on.

The silhouette of the drive core burned in her mind, the icy blue eezo tainted with invisible darkness. She should be already dead.

She opened her eyes. The metal walls surrounded her, pushing her to the floor where she laid. She slowly sat up and reached to her head. She tossed the helmet off, letting her hair loose. She rubbed the hair out of her face raggedly, her hands shaking, her bones heavy. She removed her gloves and looked at her hands.

Her ring… it was pulsating a soft green light, the silver circuits alit with electricity. It was a small part of Ilos, a memory in the flesh. Saren’s memory. Of a previous life, of a chance wasted, the memento of regret and supression. Tears gathered in her eyes. This ring was the only piece of reality that reminded Saren that he ever existed in the first place, the only proof of his life being genuine before he was rebuilt.

And he gave it to her.

She lifted the ring up and pressed it to her forehead, not being able to stop her tears from streaming down her face.

She’s never going to see him again. The feeling tore through her insides, squeezing her chest with a force she could not stop. It was eating away at her, and she breathed for air, shaking, reality pushing her down. Nothing ever mattered anymore, even winning the war seemed pointless. But there was one thing she could do.

And amidst her breakdown, she pressed herself up to her knees and slowly stood up. The drive core.

_ “No” _ she heard the reaper in the back of her mind, and ignored it. She had no idea how she could do it, but it was happening. She pushed to the door, slow and void of strength. The energy of the reaper sucked her dry, but she was not ready to give up. Not yet.

_ “NO!” _ screamed the reaper.

“Shut up!” she shouted into the void, opening the door and making her way slowly on the corridor to the drive core. She had no idea where it was, but she was determined to find it. She needed to end this, one way or the other.

_ “If you destroy me, you’ll die too.” _

“Very well...” she sighed, going through the corridors towards the lower levels. A second later a sound of an explosion could be heard, she felt a force under her feet, pressing on her lungs and chest and she fell down the stairs. The force opened the panels on the walls, ripping out the cables. She stood up, and the ship was now ringing like a cradle, floating like a vessel in water. And she knew the mass effect field mitigating the motion of the ship around the reaper was gone.

But she still pressed on.

The reaper then took a sudden U turn and she flew across the air, crashing into the walls, screaming, but she did not stop. She stood up and continued, even with her head aggressively bleeding from the fall. She felt the reaper slowing her down, pushing at the back of her mind, trying to take control and destroy her. She resisted, but it was heavier by the minute and her steps became more and more forceful.

“Get out of my head!” she screamed as she reached a giant door. She knew this was it. The door was damaged, possibly from the move the reaper just pulled. She separated the wings and climbed through, eventually laying her eyes on the drive core.

It was enormous.

A giant orb, a core of eezo now shining in bright red from the dark matter, pulsating vividly. She stepped closer raising her gun, looking for a target, scanning the place. She noticed the giant metal claws mounting the drive core from top and bottom, keeping it in place, but now shaking aggressively. Shooting them until they become unstable will release the core. Ending the reaper, and killing her in the process.

She rubbed the blood out of her eyes with a fierce, stern expression on her face.

“This is it, monster...” she hissed.

A screeching sound tore into her mind and a scream emanated from her chest.

_ “Your game is over, little one.” _

She felt the claws around her neck, seeping into her core, paralyzing her. She tried with all her might to resist, but her arms moved, lowering her weapon and she cried out. Her nose started bleeding and the blood in her eyes clouded her vision, painting everything in red. Her throat went dry and she felt reason slowly leaving her. She twitched, shaking as the pain surged into her bones and muscles. She was holding onto the gun with a force she almost crushed it, tears falling down her face.

She cried, wincing in pain. “Get out of my head!”

But it was not enough. Nothing was enough.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren practically blew through the docking tube, running through the reaper. He went right to the control room, systematically hacking every door in minutes. When he reached it, he immediately started hacking the main console, sweeping through the algorithms like a swarm of geth. It took him a bit of time, but he was eventually in the system, searching through the logs and automatic status reports, trying to find any traces of Jane.

The damage was insane. It was a miracle that the air pumps were working, since barely anything else did. The mass effect field was offline (which he could feel from the movements of the ship) and targeting and nav systems were fried. The core was heating up rapidly, more so in the last ten minutes than in the last ten hours.

“There you are...” he whispered, looking at the core temperature. These last ten minutes were really eventful according to the logs, especially around the eezo core, and he knew now where Jane was.

He left the console as is, and exited the room. He went through the levels, deeper and deeper into the bowels of the ship and eventually found the place. When he stepped through the broken doors, he saw it.

The giant drive core flowing in red, almost in flames from the heat.

And in front of it, a small silhouette of a woman in armor. Red hair, a gun in her hand, held to her temple. Saren’s expression distorted into a face full of wrath… full of fear.

“No!” he shouted.

The woman turned around in haste, fearful, with shaking hands and a confused expression. The left side of Jane’s face was swimming in blood, her silverish blue eyes filled with tears, looking right at Saren, surprised, fearless, but weak, lost. She was not herself.

“Don’t come any closer!” she screamed, pointing the gun at Saren franticly in confusion.

“Snap out of it!” he said as he took a step closer, slowly. Their eyes met, blue in blue, and she started shaking more and more. He could tell she was fighting the reaper’s influence, the war was written on her face. He took another step closer. “It’s me.”

Her lips were shaking. “Saren...” she whispered.

He was so close now, the barrel of the gun in her hand touched his chest. He did not remove his gaze from her, but slowly reached up and put his hand on the gun. She looked at it, still confused but she was too paralyzed to stop him. He moved his hand and brushed the gun off his chest by taking her wrist in his hand. He slowly, gently twisted her hand and the pistol fell down.

He moved both of his hands to her head. He dig into her hair, covering her ears, making her look at him.

“Don’t listen to it” he commanded “It has no power over you.”

In her pain, her eyes fixed on his, and he saw the confusion. Deep down she was in there, fighting to get out, screaming. Her face distorted, darkness looming in her features, tortured, broken. She was barely standing, shaking under his touch. In those eyes he saw himself, the pain that indoctrination put him through.

“Come back..” he asked, gentle this time “Come back home to me.”

Her body shuddered, and her face changed. The fogginess disappeared from her eyes as she released her breath. A similar spark returned, her vision became focused, sharp, and recognition appeared in it. She recognized him. She was breaking free.

He couldn’t help but press his forehead against hers.

“Saren” she whispered his name, this time without fear, instinctively moving closer to him. Her head eased in his grip and her hand moved to squeeze his wrist. Even with blood in her eyes, she looked absolutely perfect.

She won where he had previously fallen. But Jane’s eyes only looked for him, and not his mistakes. She needed him, and he could hear her heartbeat calling. She was waiting for him. For years after he died, and now to come to her.

He was here. He finally arrived, never to leave again. She was everything he ever needed in life, and there were no words how much he wanted her in this second.

 

And right there, under the flaming, crimson drive core he pressed his lips to hers.

 

The sensation was short, but it burned both their minds blank. The tension eased as they finally collided, lost in the kiss they shared. They lingered for a long second, not wanting this moment to end. When they parted, he was holding her tighter than ever before, and he vowed silently to never let her go. Her eyes sparkled with relief, but closing down as her strength finally left her.

She collapsed, her hand falling limp next to him. He caught her by the small of her back and quickly moved his hands to her knees, lifting her up in his arms. He looked up at the drive core, and turned around. It was time to leave this place.

He carried her up to the control room, but the path there was everything but smooth. The reaper was furious and mad, turning constantly to slam to the walls and the floor, but he didn’t stop for a second. When he got back to the consoles, he released Jane’s legs but kept her up next to him with one hand. With the other he started hacking, going deep into the reaper’s nav system, searching for a code that could give him what he wanted.

This reaper hurt her, trapped her, and he was not letting this go without any consequence.

She started to move, eventually waking up.

“Right on time!” he commented as Jane stood up on her own legs, but not moving away from his embrace. He could feel she wasn’t holding herself up fully, and so his left hand stayed wrapped around her waist.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice weak. The injury on her head was taking her away quickly back to unconsciousness again, she must have lost a lot of blood.

“This reaper is going back to the hell it crawled out of” he growled, pressing one final button on the console, and motioning towards the windows in the room. She turned her head to look out and saw the stars move as the reaper slowly turned, right towards the sun. They got engulfed in the golden light of the star, that became stronger and stronger with every second.

“Saren, are you -”

“I directed it right to the centre of this fucking sun, and it will not be able to overwrite my commands. Good luck coming back from there, you ass.” he said with an evil, dark smile on his face more to the reaper than Jane. “But that means we need to go now. Can you walk?”

“I think so..” she said, still dizzy, pressing her hand to her head wound to slow the bleeding.

“Come!” he said, grabbing her hand and leading her back the same route he came from when he boarded the ship. He had to hack every door once again, but it only slowed them down, it did not stop them. But right before reaching the docking area, one of the doors did not respond. They were running out of time the closer the reaper came to the sun.

“This one’s busted. We need to open it manually” he commented deep in focus, and even with her injury, Jane noticed how sharp he’d gotten with reaper tech. It was more than impressive.

“How did you arrive?”

“Kodiak shuttle. The Normandy is close by in stealth mode.”

Saren pressed his talons into the crack of the door and separated it at the opening in the middle. He pulled on it, opening it, but it wasn’t an easy task. He was strong. Extremely strong. But this was the first time when Jane saw him exert himself truly, physically. “Fucking reapers” he cursed, groaning at the door but eventually he managed to open it.

“Go now!”

Jane squeezed herself through under his arm that held the door, then looked back. She opened her mouth to speak, but suddenly a shock went through the whole ship, sending quakes through the metal, and Saren’s hand slipped.

The door slammed shut, trapping his left arm in between and cutting it clean off.

  
  
  


A thunderous roar escaped him as he fell to the ground, frozen from the pain. Jane screamed and kneeled down next to him. “No! No!” she cried in haste, trying to help.

But everything went black for Saren. He could concentrate on nothing but the pain, for a second he couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. The shock took him over, and as he felt his own blood painting the ground blue, his heart started throbbing. But he also felt her hand on his plates, her omni tool pumping medigel into his body.

“Please..” he heard her cry. His resolve strengthened by her voice, and he forced himself to open his eyes. His remaining right hand grabbed her waist and he stood up. He could only see blood, but he moved, further and further.

Jane got swept away with him.

He held her tight to himself, moving fast, ignoring his injury. His eyes were black from the pain, but he did not stop. He pushed and pushed, going until one last drop of his blood remained.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Joker started shouting, wanting to jump out of his chair. “They’re back!!”

Garrus leaned on the console next to Joker, looking at the scanners. Saren indeed was on his way back, and he felt ashamed already.

“Open the hangar.” he told Joker, then left him there to make his way down to the shuttle bay, bringing Tali and EDI along. He genuinely expected Saren to not return ever again, but this shuttle incoming was proving him wrong. He was in no mood to apologize to Saren, but it was inevitable at this point. He felt like he was a dick, and he did not like that feeling. But once they reached the bay, everything was put into perspective. Almost the whole crew gathered to see if their Commander has returned or not. The hangar door opened, and the Kodiak slowly hovered in, then crashed down to the ground without any fine maneuvering. The shuttle doors opened, and everyone lost their breath.

Saren stepped out of there with Jane in his arm, keeping her close, keeping her safe. Jane seemed to be half awake, mosty aware of her surroundings, but weak, dazed. But Saren was more than awake. His right hand protected Shepard, his body in a fighting stance, guarding her with every move he made. His eyes were in blood, completely losing their usual twinkle. Just the black remained, keeping the darkness at bay. His mandibles were tight on his face, and as he turned, looking at Garrus in delusion, he revealed his left side.

The whole crew went completely silent.

Garrus almost  wanted to disappear in shame.

Saren, holding Jane on his right, while his left hand was nowhere, ripped off, just bright blue blood running down his sides, now took a step forward. Towards Garrus, slowly but surely, his eyes conveying a message.

He was reduced to his basic instincts, only the need to protect Jane remaining on top.

Garrus stepped to Saren and laid his arms out, motioning to Saren without saying a word, that this is the time. His grip loosened, and Garrus lifted the the now unconscious Commander and turned around to immediately take her to the med bay.

And the moment he took Jane away from him, the adrenaline rush subsided in Saren, freezing him in his tracks.

“Keelah!” whispered Tali, stepping closer. He lost a lot of blood, and it was a miracle he could even make it this far, not to mention carrying Jane back with him. She reached his hand out to help, but the turian looked at her without moving his head.

And without warning, his strength left him and he collapsed on the floor, finally giving in to the bloodloss.


	24. Unstoppable

  
  


The crew was briefed on both Shepard’s and Saren’s condition. It was mostly good news: their Commander had no serious injuries apart from the one on her head. She lost a bit of blood, but her brain was fine, and her cybernetics were already working diligently to fix the damage in addition to the doctor properly treating the wound. Saren on the other hand lost a lot of blood. His left arm being cut off just above his elbow was responsible for that, and although he wasn’t in mortal danger, Chakwas was not entirely happy with his state. For now they were both resting in the med bay, no visitors on doctor’s order.

They also debated on what the next step would be considering their mission. Garrus and Liara quickly shed light on the fact that summarizing the data collected by Tali and Saren on Horizon will be crucial. But analyzing both of those took time and had to involve Saren, as he was an expert on reaper analysis. They decided to wait a day or two until at least one of them wakes up. Tali also suggested that the geth stationed on Haestrom might help them in decrypting all the data they had while Shepard and Saren were out, possibly making their work a lot easier once they return to service.

And so the Normandy headed to Haestrom.

Still discussing all of this, Tali and Garrus were walking through the ship, mostly taking over the operation on the Normandy, considering their seniorship.

Tali sighed. “I never thought I’d see this day...”

“Yeah, me neither… I feel like shit.” Garrus replied. Tali looked at him with questioning eyes:

“Why?”

He stopped, right at the memorial wall. “I was sure that Saren would betray Shepard someday. And now, look at him… He not only brought her back, but he lost an arm while doing so, and he still went through with it. That bastard even sent the reaper into the sun for her… A reaper. Into a sun. I’m not sure how you can top something like that.” he looked at Tali “I feel like an asshole.”

“Oh, come on.” she calmed him, stroking his mandible gently “He’s Saren Arterius. Being suspicious was natural. But I guess they were never really that different.”

She was right. Garrus smiled a bit as he thought about it. Crazy tactics, constant fighting… It wasn’t even surprising how much trouble they got into and how they were experts at destroying everything around them.

“You’re right.” he eventually said.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jane woke up with a pounding headache. She pushed herself up on the bed and noticed the med bay around her. She looked around and her eyes fell on the bed next to her. Saren laid there, asleep, machines beeping next to him. She climbed down from her bed, still a bit dizzy. She stepped to him.

He was sleeping soundly, not moving an inch. His face was peaceful, he looked alright apart from his left arm. Her eyes wandered to it, now bandaged up. Crushing regret filled her at the sight, and she pressed her lips together in angst.

This was all her fault.

She wanted to win this war so hard, and now he paid for it. He lost his arm in saving her. In fact, he did everything for her that no one could. Saving her, protecting her, giving his all to her. And with such power and strength that left her astounded. She didn’t want him to suffer this much, she never did. She slowly put her hand on his chest, feeling it rise and fall slowly.

She loved him.

She loved everything about him, and she realized that it did not matter to her if he had a left arm or not. He was still the same turian she known, and nothing was ever going to change that.

“Hey” she heard and found Saren looking at her, his eyes barely open. “Hey” she replied.

He turned his head to allow a better look at her, still laying down, and he noticed her looking at his arm.

“It’s just an arm.” he said. So nonchalant, she thought. Like it was just a tool, mere convenience.

“I’m so sorry..” she sighed, dropping her head as she sat down next to the bed, so that he would not see her tear. But he reached up with this right hand and brushed his talons along the side of her face, wiping away that lone tear. He continued to move her hair behind her ear.

“I can always get a geth arm installed, you know. I did it once, and I can do it again.”

She looked at him.

He was correct, he did have a geth arm after Sovereign upgraded him. Back then it was because of that monster, but now…

“You’d have a geth arm again, but this time because of me..”

He frowned. “I’d rather have one because of you, than because of Sovereign.” he was firm in his statement, causing her heart to ache “I don’t regret losing this arm. I would on the other hand forever regret leaving you there.”

“But..” she sighed “It is all my fault. If I hadn’t gone there...”

“Then I wouldn’t have essential technical data about what happens to a reaper eezo core if it comes in contact with dark matter. Jane,” he looked deep in her eyes, his gaze burning “You are winning us this war. If that cost us only a turian arm, well then it was a damn good trade.”

That didn’t make it okay in her eyes though.

She reached for his hand and idly took it in hers. His hand was giant, his talons sharp, amazing natural weapons. She was wondering if they’ll survive this war… if it’s ever going to end. The only thing she knew was that she’s not going to give up just like that.

“You should rest some more...” she exhaled, letting go of his hand. She stood up and decided to go look for the doctor. As much as she loved being around Saren, and did not want to leave him here, he needed rest. And since she already felt a bit better, she could let him rest properly.

“I intend to..” Saren smiled, turning his head away to rest.   
  


Jane left the med bay. She didn’t even need to look for Chakwas, she was just now coming around the corner. When she saw her, her thin lips pressed together and Jane knew a scolding session was coming.

“Commander!” she reprimanded “What are you doing, up and running?”

“I’m feeling better. And besides, Saren needs rest, I don’t want to bother him.”

The doctor tilted her head in question. “Did he wake up?”

“Yes, but he’s back to sleep now.”

“Good. You should do the same. That head wound is no joke.” she motioned at the bandages on her head. “How do you feel?”

“I’m dizzy… and tired. How long was I out?” she asked, scratching her head uncomfortably.

“Two days.”

Jane froze, her eyes widened. “Two days???” she screamed almost “Who’s in charge?”

“Garrus. We’re on Haestrom at the moment on the geth station. You can rest up, Tali will brief you and you can decide on our next moves. But first you need more rest. At least a day.”

That sounded horrible, but the doctor was right. Her head was fuzzy, she was tired, and clearly Garrus had everything in his hands. “I can do that in my cabin.” she said as she left the doctor, going to the elevator.

“Come back for bandaging in the morning!” Chakwas shook her head. She was gone.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jane woke up in her bed. She looked at the clock and saw that she slept through the night. She wanted to see him already… but she had things to arrange first, and so she called Tali up to her cabin.

“Shepard...” the quarian whispered nervously as the door swooshed open and she noticed Jane. She ran to her and wrapped her arms around her. “I’m so happy you’re back.”

“Me too, Tali” she returned the hug “Me too.” after their reunion Jane sat down on her bed and they started to talk over the details regarding the Normandy and the mission. Jane supported the idea about Haestrom, and now that she thought about it, it was convenient as well. Maybe the geth happened to have a spare, unused arm?

“Very well” she started “Good work. We’ll continue the mission as soon as Saren can look at the data. In the meantime, tell the geth that we’ll be needing spare parts if they have any. Saren just suggested to me yesterday that he could do well with a geth arm.”

“Similar to the one he had back in the day?” Tali asked. It almost sounded like “in the old times”. She hated how it made her feel. Shepard nodded. “That should be no problem.”

“But I want the best one they have. Whatever they want in exchange, it’s theirs.” she added with a stern expression on her face. Tali couldn’t help a smile.

“So, how are you?” she eventually asked. Jane looked at her feet.

“I don’t even know...” she admitted “What Saren did… it...”

“... It made perfect sense.” Tali finished for her. That was not what she wanted to say. She wasn’t even sure she could have finished that sentence, but what Tali said came by surprise.

“What do you mean?”

The quarian walked closer, sitting down next to her on the bed. Shepard could make out a small smile behind her helmet.

“He loves you.”

Her heart skipped a beat. It sounded so raw, so perfect. She looked into the distance, an idle, small smile on her lips.

“I know.” she whispered “We kissed.”

Tali almost jumped up in happiness. She hugged her and Jane rolled her eyes in an endearing way.

“I knew it!” she squealed “Imagine the headlines:  _ Unbelievable! Brutal, rogue spectre Saren Arterius seduced by humanity’s hope, the sexy Commander Jane Shepard! _ ”

Jane laughed out loudly, but quickly realized: “Wait? Shouldn’t you be sad or something? You all hate him, right?”

“Nah” she waved “Not after he saved our Commander. And that ring too… completely convinced me.”

“Ring? What does that have to do with this?” she asked, confused.

“Why, he didn’t tell you?” Tali asked back, tilting her head in question. Jane shook her head as means of saying no. “The ring he gave you… he gave it to protect you. It blocks infrasound. That’s why you could barely hear the reaper unlike me when we first boarded. The ring was keeping you shielded.”

She froze. She looked down at the ring, not a breath escaping her. Her stomach was suddenly in nuts and her throat got tight as he watched the emerald hue of the jewel. Tali stood up and after putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, she left to let Jane deal with her thoughts alone. She didn’t even hear her exit.

She only focused on the ring, and with every second she sank deeper and deeper into her own mind. She looked, but she knew no words that could express her feelings. She lost her voice and tears choked her, again. He counted on this too, and protected her from the thing he hated the most. They were completely even now.

What he gave her, what he meant to her was more precious than this fucking universe ever was and ever will be. She found comfort in this feeling, like a hole has just been filled inside of her. He wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t going to go away, leave her… or die. No one ever came this close to her without being burned by her flames.

No one, but him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


After another full day of resting, Saren sat on the bed in the med bay, looking at the geth in front of him.

He would never admit, but his nerves were killing him. The memory of Sovereign and his tortures disguised as upgrades flooded his mind. He couldn’t be indoctrinated anymore, but it seemed like his mind was vividly reliving every minute of that now. Jane was upstairs in the cockpit, knowing that the time has come for his new arm to be installed. She wanted to be there, but it was not possible. She went through enough, she did not need to see this as well.

Not to mention that he had no intention of having her there. His mind was in a very dark place, as the geth came to do what was necessary. He clenched his teeth in his mouth, and took a deep breath as the procedure was about to begin. It was a good decision to have her upstairs on the bridge, because the sounds coming out of the med bay were awfully painful for any one soldier to hear.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jane was in the cockpit, extremely nervous but trying to divert her mind from what was happening down below. Javik and Garrus kept her company while she waited.

“I swear he tore Leng apart like a ragdoll” Garrus said, talking about their mission on Horizon “I did not mind.”

“I second that. Having someone as capable as he is might mean your team is not so hopeless after all.” Javik added.

“Ah, come on Javik” Jane waved, jokingly “Get off your high horse!”

“I have no idea what a horse is” he said, looking at Jane like it was a curse “But your cycle is strange. It appeals to me that someone is here to get the job done.”

“We’re all here to get the job done...” Garrus reminded him.

But their conversation was cut off by Jane’s blinking omni-tool. Her face went dark, serious and she turned around without a word to say.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jane saw the geth engineers flock out of the med bay. She took the last steps to the door slowly and stopped in front of it. She slowly sighed, deeply, letting all her nerves go and just concentrate on what was important.

She touched the console so it opened up the door, and as it swooshed open, she saw him.

He was sitting on the bed, his legs slowly dangling in the air. He hung his head, looking only at his feet and she could not see his eyes. She stepped in, her eyes fixed on his left side. A metallic, grey geth arm was mounted on him, its colour almost melting into his plates. The geth have done a great job, because she wasn’t sure where his arm ended and the tech began.

His posture looked defeated, but somehow that was not the vibe she got from him. If anything, he looked godlike to her. There was no one in this universe she had more respect for. He was the strongest of the strongest, the best of the best. And that was proven when he raised his head to look at her.

The look in his eyes was pure fearlessness.

This turian was ready for anything and everything, and was not matched by anyone. He went through hell and back again, and came out on top. A geth arm, by choice, marked his resolve. She understood that he was truly ready to do anything that was needed.

This was how he dealt with all of that happened, so easily. His resolve left no chance for the weaknesses inside him. He crushed his own fears, he destroyed everything, to be stronger. The only thing he could not destroy was her.

And that’s when she realized that they were unstoppable.

Their eyes met, just as she stopped in front of him.

He looked absolutely magnificent. His sharp, silver plates, his fringes framing his face looked absolute perfection to her. The blue in his eyes invited her, dying to share all its mysteries with her. He raised his geth arm and took her hand in his. The touch was cold, but not all that different from his usual. She stroked the metal and looked into his eyes.

His other hand moved down her shoulder to her arm, and from there travelling to the small of her back. He needed no words to be said, and he reinforced that by pulling her closer to him, almost into his lap. She accepted the invitation, and let him move her while she wrapped her hands around his torso. Even sitting on that bed, he was taller than her standing.

She traced her arm up his spine, and he gave her a small, sauve smile in return. His mandibles pulled apart a bit in anticipation as he scanned her features. She picked up on it but was too busy being buried in his clean scent and focusing on his hand running along her waist.

He felt her breath on his, and as she touched his nose with hers, he felt the smoothness of her skin, the blue of her eyes slowly disappearing when she closed her eyes. Her lips slowly brushed against his, and he heard her heart throb in her chest.

He tilted his head to deepen their kiss, to feel her more. Her hands released his torso and wrapped around his neck, getting more comfortable. The feeling of her cherry lips and her tongue on his was heaven to him, and he wanted more and more with each passing second.

They fell deeper into the sensation with every moment, molding together, never wanting to part. She responded to him, moving with him in a way that urged him to touch her even more. She was his, and she knew.

When they parted, they did so very slowly, scanning each other’s eyes, but all they both saw was pure passion. A small smile appeared on his face, and he enveloped her in his embrace, stealing another kiss from her.

“We should toast tonight..” he purred right into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. All she could do was chuckle.

“Right..” she said in her oh so familiar husky voice, releasing him and slowly walking away with an expression on her face he could not describe. All he knew was that created a whirlwind in him that would just not disappear.

  
  



	25. Heavy blue

  
  
  


Something has changed.

As Saren exited the elevator on the main level and turned to walk towards the cockpit, all the eyes of the crew were on him. But they weren’t the same resentful or uneasy looks he was used to. They were commending, impressed looks and he even got a couple head nods. They looked at his geth arm, and right into his eyes. It was like they weren’t afraid anymore, but rather they respected him. Although he didn’t care much about the crew, this change wasn’t against his will. And as he walked past them and stepped on the bridge, he saw Garrus standing in the cockpit behind Joker, waiting for him. He looked like he wanted to say something to him, and so Saren went right to him. He stopped in front of him just a step away, looking into his eyes.

Joker turned around in his chair, carefully looking at the two turians.

“I can see you’re back in business.” Garrus noted on a very professional tone, not removing his gaze from him. Saren nodded in reply:

“I have no interest of wasting time for any longer.” His reply was very calculated, resembling Garrus’ stern tone. Joker observed them in their strange way, standing like two walls.

A second later Garrus extended his right arm to him:

“Thank you for bringing her back.” that was all he said, and all he needed to say. In turian customs this was counted as a massive apology, and Saren’s mandibles slightly twiched in a small, sly smile.

He slammed his right hand into Garrus’, and they essentially shaked hands. Joker’s jaw dropped, he never thought he would see this day.

“So what is the next objective?” Saren proceeded to ask after releasing his hand and turning to the screens.

“We were just discussing that. Shepard just received a call from Admiral Hackett, she should be back soon.”

“Already am” came from behind their backs and Jane entered the picture. She looked at Saren and smiled at him. “Got some orders from the Admiral. Our immediate task is to go to the Citadel. We are closer and closer to solving the topic of the Catalyst and the Crucible, and they want the ship to be ready for anything when the time comes. So the Normandy will undergo retrofits.”

“What??” Joker turned back again so fast in his chair, he almost forgot about his decease.

“We have no choice unfortunately.” Jane shook her head, looking at all of them. None of the men liked it, it was apparent. “I had no say in the matter. So Joker, set a course for the Citadel.”

“Aye-aye” he replied sitting back. “ETA 24 hours.”

“Perfect.” Jane replied and left the cockpit.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The dim light of Saren’s bunk enveloped him as he leaned over his desk, buried deep in work. He decided to get some work done before they arrived at the Citadel. He got the portion of the data that Tali got, and merged it with his own to try and squeeze the most information out of it. Kai Leng’s omni tool was given to EDI to decode - as she was an expert in Cerberus encryptions and general data protocols which he cared little about.

He wanted to decipher as much of the reaper information as possible - he wanted to know if concentrated dark matter indeed had the effect on reaper eezo cores as they hoped. That coupled with the Catalyst’s information could give them the confirmation of data accuracy they needed. If the reaper data pointed to dark matter, and the Catalyst did so too, they could be sure of at least the general idea of this Crucible.

He also looked back at historical data and small caches of evidence that could point them in the right direction. He built a board of data groups and clues, going through everything thousands of times. But somehow it did not match up.

Dark matter fit in the picture nicely apart from the fact that according to Liara there was nothing in the Crucible plans that would be hinting at dark matter being required at any point. So either the dark matter route was a dead end, or the Crucible wasn’t the end in itself.

He also noticed that the theme of indoctrination or some type of mind control was all over everything. The reapers used indoctrination, the Cerberus teams were clearly indoctrinated, and it so happened that the two creatures who led Sovereign to the Mu relay back in the day (the Thorian and the rachni queen) both had mind control abilities. And this whole conflict stemmed from a species that had indoctrination as its greatest weapon: the Leviathans.

Crucible. Dark matter. Indoctrination. Leviathans. Where was this going? What was he missing?

It was then that he decided to call it a day as he did not seem to get any further at the moment. He buried his face in his palm and just sit there for a second before deciding to visit Jane. He was in the mood to have some drinks and just let go for a bit after all the drama. He entered the shower and all the time her kiss played in his mind. How she looked at him… her husky voice, her touch on his spine.

Forcing an end to his thoughts he finished with the shower, grabbed some clothes and headed to her cabin. But when he exited the elevator, he stopped in his tracks. Her door just swooshed open as he got in its vicinity, clearly not closed.

“Jane?” he asked, slowly stepping in. Was she downstairs already? He decided to look for her in the observation room - but upon turning around he looked right.

And there was a very surprised, freshly showered, unclothed Jane, just a towel covering her body. He didn’t even have time to blink, and she already won. Instead of shouting or running back to the bathroom, she smiled.

And that smile was everything but innocent. 

She didn’t do anything, just sank into one of her hips, letting the towel naturally move with her curves. As she moved, Saren’s eyes followed her hips and his breathing stopped for a second. His mandibles slowly moved in amazement and Jane’s smile widened. He was well aware that he was in a trap now, and suddenly he wasn’t so sure about who the predator was.

He took a step forward closing the distance between them and looked into her eyes. If she wants to play games, he was not going to stand in her way.

“It’s not appropriate for a Commander of a ship to drink with squadmates dressed only in a towel..” he teased, stroking her collarbone with a single talon, causing her to look up at him, revealing her neck.

“I was planning on getting dressed, and then you intruded!” she purred, letting him dig into her hair while she touched his chest, slowly caressing it. She already felt the blood rushing to her face. He looked irresistible to her.

“You  **_were_ ** planning on getting dressed? So not anymore?” he asked.

“You wish!” she laughed and pushed him away from herself. She motioned with her head towards the door and commanded “Wait outside!”

Ouch! She was feisty and Saren put his hands up, pretending to give up, a large smile looming on his face. She disappeared into the bathroom and he left the room to wait for her at the elevator. No one ever had the nerves to just outright kick him out. Her flames were burning him and he loved it. All of his predatory instincts were waking up now.

He did not have a lot of time to himself, as Jane didn’t keep him waiting for long. After a minute she arrived next to him and pressed the elevator button. She was wearing just fitting jeans and a simple shirt, and she still looked like a goddess to him.

They got into the elevator and went for the crew deck. They went to their favourite place, which was of course the observation room. Drinks and stars, it would be perfect. But as soon as the door swooshed open, it became apparent that they were going to have no privacy.

The room was filled with crew members, sharing drinks and snacks, and Saren’s face turned from playful and predatory to outright evil in a second.

“Oiii Saren!!” Garrus said as he stood up with a tone that suggested that was not his first drink. He almost spilled the horosk. “Finally someone who can really drink!” Saren walked over to him and accepted the challenge. He poured himself some horosk and sat down with the others. Jane also did the same, and they found themselves sitting across from each other.

Saren was letting himself go and the air just changed around him. It was almost like the others were looking up to him. It seemed saving her from a reaper and losing an arm in the process was what won the crew. They weren’t wary around him anymore, and they involved him in the conversations. But out of all of them it was Tali who seemed most comfortable with him. She was inspecting his geth arm, quickly giving him upgrade suggestions. He was looking at Jane the whole time.

She was sitting in front of him, sipping her drink, legs crossed. As he drank the horosk and looked at her his thoughts roamed free, detached from the party. It did not matter how many of them were there, he only saw her eyes, her lips hugging the glass as she drank. Every one of her moves was playing with his mind, inviting him but restricting him. He’d been with many women over the years, but none of them he wanted as bad as he wanted her. Her… she played him. She was playful, silently flirting with him, smiling. But whenever they’d have a moment she’d turn away from him. It was a game very similar to the one they played back in the day in the Pulsar.

It amazed him. She was enjoying every moment of him trying to catch her.

He found a prey enjoying the hunt.

That night when the party finally ended, he entered his shower full of ideas.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Citadel.

When they arrived at the station, the crew disappeared immediately. They went god knows where and Shepard was fine with it. The Normandy was now under retrofits, so everyone had to make do with a forced shore leave. Not like they were against it… but Jane definitely wasn’t happy. She was anxious about the data that Saren and EDI were working on, but she eventually realized that she needed to relax. And Anderson’s apartment came at the best possible time.

Two days already passed since the retrofits started and since she saw Saren. The turian just disappeared right after they docked and was unreachable. He was planning something, she knew, but she had no idea what it was. But now she was left here, all alone, and suddenly Anderson contacts her and ends up giving her his apartment.

That apartment was crying for a giant party.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Commander!” Joker screamed as he entered the loft with EDI “This is what I always wanted! You’re so kind!”

“The apartment is mine Joker” she said, getting his joke but breaking it down at the same time “Although you’re welcome to stay anytime.”

“Yeah, if the reapers don’t kill us...” he sighed, but quickly got back to cracking jokes as he met the others. They’ve been going at it for a couple hours now and it started getting more and more serious. Vega and Javik already started losing themselves, while the others still held on. The only one who did not have a single drink was her. She looked at her friends, left the room and went into the bathroom.

She looked in the mirror and made sure everything was in place. She was wearing a bright red, tight dress. She made sure it had no creases around her hips when she heard the doorbell. She smiled into the mirror immediately. There was only one person missing from the party.

She slowly walked out and opened the door. A very elegant, handsome turian stood there, dressed in a simple, expensive black robe, a scarf around his neck. Saren was eyeing her from top to bottom, his pale plates looking almost white against the black of his suit. The blue in his eyes became darker as he inspected her curves, her beautiful tousled red hair and her silverish eyes. He smiled.

“Hey”

“Hey” she replied, motioning for him to come inside. He shook his head without saying anything. “Why?” she asked in a questioning tone, but before she could wait for any sort of answer, he reached his arm out, caught her arm and pulled her out of the apartment.

“I want to show you something.” he purred, his face inches away from her.

“Glyph” she purred, not removing her gaze from his “Take care of the party for me while I return.”

“Of course.” replied the VI and Saren reached his arm up and shut the door. They were now all alone, and he turned around.

“Come.” said Saren, completely calm, even though he heard Jane’s heartbeat going up with excitement. She was smiling wildly behind his back, playfully looking at him.

“Where are we going?” she asked, inspecting his gorgeous, strong back while following him to the elevator and down to the ground floor.

“Somewhere you’ve never been before.” They just came outside as he said that, a sly smile appearing on his face. He casually motioned at the shuttle standing right there. It was an all black vehicle, not a speck of dirt on it. He opened up the doors and nodded for her to get in. It was apparent the shuttle was his, as there were hardly any models like this available for private renting.

Once in the car, he settled his talons on the wheel and turned to look at her. He was smiling again, his mandibles parting from his face. “You ready?” As she looked into his eyes, he had no idea where they were going, but whatever it was, she was ready for it, or at least she thought. It seemed he had something special prepared for her. “Right.”

But what happened she was not prepared for. Saren started the engine, but instead of taking off and taking a completely normal direction, the shuttle turned upright and started flying parallel with the buildings, up towards the sky. Jane’s breathing skipped for a second in surprise as the turian stepped on the gas pedal so hard, they were flying up like a rocket.

She immediately started laughing, that made him satisfied. He knew she’d love a crazy drive, considering her driving skills were hellish and dangerous as well. And he was right. He heard her heart going off the charts, and saw the spark in her eyes. It encouraged him to push it even further, and he did. The buildings faded next to them and they could only see the darkness of the sky and the lights of the opposite arm of the Citadel. The pressure became stronger and stronger, shaking the shuttle until it suddenly released and Saren let go of the gas. He pressed a button, then turned the main engine off. He pressed the wheel forward, which resulted in the shuttle turning in its way.

“Look.” was all he said, looking out the windshield.

Jane didn’t have to look outside to see what was happening.

They were above all of the buildings, not on the Ward anymore, but drifting in the middle of the station in open space. As he turned off the main engine, and moved the wheel they turned in the vacuum looking right towards to heart of the station: the ring of the Presidium and the Citadel Tower.

She looked into the ring, hypnotized by the beauty of it.

“This is the view you see when you invade the Citadel aboard a reaper.” he said, looking into the giant ring. She still remembered when she saw Sovereign latch onto the Citadel tower, bringing him along. And what happened that day.

“We’re not going to invade today, are we?” she asked, trying some humour.

He silently smiled, moving his hand to the switch. “Correct.” He pressed the button and the engine was back up again. He turned the shuttle around and drove it towards the end of the station, but still not going back down to the buildings. She just looked at him as he drove, obviously not back to her apartment. He had a serious face.

She never knew that the past was haunting him still. It seemed he was still feeling the things he felt years ago: the struggling, the loneliness still didn’t disappear completely. It was like a deep, hurtful scar, a secret in the darkness.

“We’re here” Saren said, closing in on one of the skyscrapers, still deep within the vacuum. They circled the building and he drove the shuttle smoothly into one of the garages at the side of the building. The air shutters closed in and as soon as the atmosphere was balanced out, he nodded to her to exit the shuttle.

“Where are we?” she asked as she circled the vehicle and casually put her arm on his. Saren’s mandibles twitched in a mysterious smile. They stepped into an elevator and he pressed the button of the floor above them.

“It’s my place.”

The elevator doors opened and Jane saw the most beautiful apartment that ever existed. It was giant, with an enormous window covering all of the walls on one side. Guns on the grey, metal walls, and high tech everywhere. She stepped forward and breathed it all in, looking at the view that looked right at the Presidium ring.

“I imagined you’d live in something like this” she smiled, turning back to face him with an approving expression. He stepped closer to her, ignoring what she just said, and stroked her cheeks with a talon. He heard her heart respond to his touch again, and proceeded to curl a strand of her red hair around his finger.

A shiver ran through her at his touch. She let him drive his hand down the length of her neck, only to stroke her hair again, moving it away from her neck, behind her shoulders. She looked at him, his features, and wondered what went on in his mind. She got her answer when their eyes met.

A heavy blue lingered in his eyes, almost black from the sensation, from the force he felt pulling him to her. 

  
  



	26. Darkest space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I'm moving my schedule to upload every sunday. I'm transfering jobs and life gets overwhelmed a bit nowadays, but I still want to give you the best chapters I can. I worked on this one for far too long, but I needed to nail it... Thank you for reading, and I really hope you like this chapter too! :) <3

  
  


The apartment was swimming in the light of the space station, with a cold colour of blue and a hint of purple. It seemed they were in the middle of the universe as the light reflected on the metal walls. Jane’s fingers ran through the surface of the king size bed as she made her way to the windows, looking out, separated only by a wall from the turian who was at the bar in the kitchen. She touched the glass wall, feeling like she was holding the Citadel in her hands. She looked at the skyscrapers, the incoming spaceships, the light of the stars cutting through the distant ring of the Presidium.

She heard his heavy steps on the tile as he came up to her from behind, slowly, calmly. She saw his arm from the corner of her eye reaching in front of her, a glass held in his giant, sharp, black talons. She looked down at the golden drink and took it from him. She turned halfway to see him join her, a drink of blue hue in his hand.

He looked at her face, swimming in the light. She was deep in thought, he could see, her eyes sparkled as she looked at him. They were glowing like blue jewels, like a silent light in the night. There was something in the air. A heavy silence, an unspoken feeling lingering within, pressing down on them. But the rhythm of her heart was calm, just like her expression. They came so far, from Virmire and the Citadel to all the corners of the galaxy, driven by a cycle of madness and darkness. War was what connected them, and now they were here, alone in the clean silence of this dark apartment.

He raised his glass clinking it to hers, silently toasting.  
She raised the drink to her mouth, taking a sip, not removing her eyes from him the whole time. All of her attention was his: her body turned to him, only a feet away, her eyes waiting for him to drink. And he did, slowly, and when he was done and removed the glass from his mouth, he took hers as well. He turned around without giving a sound and placed the drinks on the nightstand, then turned back to her.

She was still looking at him without saying a word. His black robe fitted him like it was made for him, telling her of his muscles, the raw strength in his body. And he was looking at her too, with a silent hunger, one that is within the eyes of a predator. She was wearing a red dress that melted onto her figure, accentuating her waist.  
She reached an arm up, slowly placing her delicate hand on his chest, feeling the soft texture of his robe with her fingers. They travelled up toward his collar, up his neck and onto his jaw. They ran along his right mandible, tracing the scars on his plates, covering the cold blue light of the cybernetics. His jaw sank into her palm with ease, his blue eyes beaming into hers.

She was studying his face, deeper than she ever did before.

Every crack on his silverish plates made it more perfect the more she looked at him. His strong cheeks, his anterior fringes gave him features she never saw before on any man. Even how the shadows fell on his face was somewhat eerie, dark, graceful. He seemed to her like a dark dream, a dream she always lived. She understood now how she remembered this face for years, how it made an impact on her back on Virmire. It was in his eyes.

And as she looked into these eyes did she realize how close they were to each other. How his arm wrapped around the small of her back, slowly with a touch so gentle it could barely be felt. But as his talons touched her waist, he pulled her to himself, not ever planning to let go. His palm ran up on her back, up her spine and into her hair. She was closer and closer to him by the second, swallowed up in his embrace.

And the closer she got, the stronger her scent was. That sweet cherry scent, now lingering all around him, making his mind go blank. He held her still, pressed to him with his one hand, and reached up his other arm to her neck. He tossed her hair to the side and leaned in, breathing in her scent, causing her to shiver as his mandible touched the soft skin on her neck. His fingers moved to her collarbone, lightly descending down to her chest, following her curves and the texture of the dress. And she arched her back for him, melting against him. That hand slowly moved down to her hip, gripping her soft flesh without ripping the fabric. Her body moved against him in a way he never felt anyone move like before, filling him with a hunger he never knew was in him. Her hands were at his neck, wrapped around him, stroking the back of his head that started a low, quiet growl in his chest.

Their eyes met once again, looking for each other, searching.

He held her in his arms, tight, and as their foreheads touched for a brief moment, he leaned down to her, taking her lips with his. They joined in a kiss that was deep and passionate, shaking both of them as they went, turning around. Their minds went void of reason and they buried themselves in the moment. He pressed her to the glass wall, hard, reaching under her legs to pick her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His talons moved to her thighs to sink his claws into her flesh, causing her to hiss from the pain. He sent kisses down her neck, and as he opened his eyes, for a brief moment he looked through the glass, at the space station. She was breathing for him with the universe behind her back, and he realized he no longer saw the darkness in the view. He only saw the passion in her eyes, crying for more contact.

She was perfect in every way a woman could ever be for him.

And her body was screaming for him, his touch, his kiss, she burned for him with a fire. She pressed her arms to the glass, pushing them away, and as he took a step back, his legs hit the side of the bed. He went with the flow and he sat down on it, with her still in his lap. She rose up and pushed him down hard, making him lie down on the sheets. He reached up and pulled her down to him, turning as they went, so now he was on top of her. But she resisted, pushing him down again, and they rolled as they fought for control, sharing smiles and kisses, merging together shamelessly.

And this time, he let her win.

He laid on his back, raising her to sit, pushing up on the fabric of the dress on her thighs. She reached down, and as she crossed her arms she grabbed the fabric, pulling it up on her body, completely removing it and leaving it fall to the floor. He sighed in amazement, a predatory, dark, seductive growl escaping from his chest. His hand reached up to touch her skin, that silk he could not compare to anything in the world. She looked at him, her eyelids heavy from the fire inside her heart, but sparkling in blue. A small, mischievous smile lit up her face, and as she tilted her head to the side looking at him watching her curves, her bright red hair fell on her shoulders. She undone his robe, slowly, in such a sensual way that drove him crazy. But he didn’t move, just watched her in all her glory, conquering him. She was confident, graceful, taking over his senses, driving his hands up her waist. All that war, fight, violence in her lifestyle made sense as he saw her rise above him like a queen. She was a predator too, finding her equal in him.

And she belonged to him, and only him.

He finally reached up and buried himself in her curves, worshipping her body with every touch. She sighed from the sensation, easing in his arms and burning under his touch. They kissed, their tongues meeting in a dance of heat, their bodies melting together as he pressed her down to the bed after removing the rest of their clothes, towering over her, devouring her with all his might.

She was giving herself happily to him.

And so he took her, and with such a fever that crashed both of them down. He made her his own with every move, merging with her, letting go of himself. She was burying her nails in his soft skin, scratching his plates as he moved. Her body arched under him, and he played on it like an instrument. She was gasping for air from the heat, singing about the passion that took over her. His instincts went in a frenzy, driving him to the edge of insanity.

Jane wanted to scream, but she raised her hand to cover her mouth. He immediately reached up and pinned her hands above her head, hard, to stop her.

“No!” he commanded. He moved faster and deeper with every second, and the blood rushed into her cheeks as she looked at him. “Let it out...” he growled.

His voice was liquid metal in her ears. She felt his talons behind her head, holding her, his muscles tense as he gave himself to her. And she screamed for him. He lifted her up by her waist, letting her wrap her arms around him, push him down, take over him a second after. Her hair fell in his vision, blurring the world and leaving only the sensation of their union with him.

As they looked at one another, they found something in each other. A dark impulse, deep down. She wrapped her fingers around his neck, squeezing it, that brought him to the precipice of pleasure. There was something in her eyes that could not be seen, heard or described, but he knew that he took it from her. A part of her had already lived in him, and he had somehow given a part of him to her too.  From the moment they met, back on Virmire, they were never the same. Everything was leading him here, to her, and she fought to reach him, all this time.

Her nails started to slowly dig into the soft skin on his neck, almost drawing blood. That meant only one thing.

Her eyes beamed with the unspeakable question.

His heart exploded.

“Caught you...” she moaned with a heated smile, aching for him. He reached up in agreement, moving, turning them to push her under him with a speed he never did before in his entire life.

And with one swift move he sank his teeth in her neck, at the same time he felt her fingers flexing, her strong nails tearing into his skin. It was the moment where time stopped for them.

“Saren...” she moaned, screamed for him, her voice ringing around him. Her back arched from the pleasure as she accepted him, and left her own mark on him. In her passion she clawed in so deep, a drop of his blue blood dropped on her chest, marking their alliance. Her scream was husky, satisfying, a melody of seduction in his ears as their bodies collided one more time, at the peak of their love.

They bonded.

And they looked into each other’s eyes, their fate sealed.

Like it had always been.

And all of the suffering, pain, Sovereign, the Reapers, Leviathan, Indoctrination… they all made sense now. The darkness that buried them had lived inside of them. And it was within where it was the darkest.

They kissed again, and again, completely lost in time.

  
  


* * *

 

The party was an absolute hit.

Chaos ensued as their Commander left the crew, and they realized that they could not stop. That shameless party that Garrus mentioned a while ago was in the making right now: they let all of their fears and worries behind and just let go.

“Oh my!” screamed Tali, barely being able to breathe from laughter “Garrus, what is that dancing??” she laughed.

“Yeah, even I can do better than that!” teased Joker who was doing his best to fake dancing near the bar. Everyone was down there, dancing and laughing, mostly at Garrus.

“You only mock me because Shepard isn’t here!” the turian laughed back at them “You’d see her dancing, and you’d never question my moves again!”

“Is she that bad?” asked Traynor, halfway between two moves.

“There’s only one thing that Shepard can’t do” Liara started “And that is dancing! If she’d try to kill the reapers with her moves.... this war would be over now!”

They all laughed.

“Wait, where is she?” Traynor realized.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Cherries?  
When Jane removed the fruit bowl from the fridge she was a bit confused. She was standing in Saren’s kitchen with the sheets wrapped around her body, just looking into the fridge out of curiosity, but she’d never think to find human food there. She smiled, closed the door and made her way back to him to the bed.

Saren was sitting in his bed with his back to the wall. He was swimming in the blue light of the Citadel, a small, dark smile sitting on his face, a cigarette in his hand.

“So, you found the cherries” he purred. Jane came closer and climbed on the bed, slowly leaving behind the sheet that wrapped around her. She sit down in front of him as she bit into one cherry, feasting her eyes on his magnificent body.

“Why would you even have human fruit in here?” she asked with a smile.

“Your scent is very similar to them” he told the truth, a dark passion in his eyes “I thought you might like them.”

She laughed quietly, crawling closer to him. “How do you even know I smell like cherries?”

“There is a fruit on Palaven with a very similar scent. It’s called kiraz. The extranet did the rest of the job.” he took a puff from the cigarette as he finished, turning his head. She looked at the mark on his neck, and it made her bite her bottom lip. She placed the cherries down and climbed in his lap, letting him stroke her thighs with his talons.

“Give me” she commanded, and he gave her the cigarette. She took a puff too, and exhaled towards the ceiling. She felt his mandibles on her collarbone, his strong hands on hers, twisting her hand to take the smoke back. 

He took another puff and the smoke moved up in the air, hugging his face. She followed the smoke with her eyes, her gaze ending up on the wall.

“What a collection” she sighed, looking at the many firearms propped on the wall. There was even a sword, quite a big and heavy one, and it looked a thousand years old. “And I just came in here with you...” she teased with a smile “You have enough guns to obliterate me in a second!”

“Nah” Saren purred into her neck “I have other plans with you... ” he kissed her, tickling her in the process and she laughed out. “Although all of them are loaded.”

“I thought so..”

“Do you know what you’ve gotten yourself into?” he asked, digging his talons into her hair. He still found it fascinating how it behaved, how tousled it became and somehow it still looked better than ever.

“What do you mean?”

“Bonding with me.”

She had been with men before, but simply none of them interested her really, seriously, like he did. They were all boring. No one could give her what she wanted, no one came even   close to him. Obviously she could not tell him that, his ego was big enough as is. But she was fully aware of her decision of bonding with him, and she was fully aware of the power she held over him.

She looked into his eyes with a confident, determined expression. “I doomed myself. Just like you did.”

His mandibles parted in a giant, dark smile. His blue eyes sparkled from satisfaction as he recognized his own pervertedness in her words. 

He grabbed her waist, moving his hands up her body, luring her closer to him. She was his. He kissed her soft skin, driving his tongue up on her neck. He charmed her like a snake.  That was exactly his plan. But as he turned his head, he forgot everything.

“Jane...” he sighed.

“Mmm?” she purred, eased at his touch.

“ **Jane** !”

His voice was worrying, like an alarm, and his hands wrapped around her, sitting her down on the bed. She turned her head to where he was looking. And as she looked through the window, she saw it too.

In the distance, a black, metal claw appeared in the stars, covering the upper wards completely. A beam of red light burned, a laser of a reaper cut through space, right into the Citadel.

  
  
  



	27. Change history

  
  


“Motherfucker!!” Jane screamed as she jumped down from the bed, taking a step back from the window with a face of pure anger. Saren also stood up and immediately started putting on his robe.

There wasn’t only one reaper, there was more. A whole swarm of them appeared behind the Citadel, swimming in the vacuum. Their lasers crossed the sky, hitting the arms of the Citadel, and in minutes the station was in flames. Alarms went off all over the place, and thousands of shuttles flew out of the depths of the Wards.

Jane put her hands on the glass, taking a short moment after getting dressed. The machines looked like dark insects taking over everything in a matter of seconds. She swallowed her nerves as she realized how angry she was. Her hands were itching for blood now, and the sensation of love turned into a monstrous wrath in her.

Was this it?  
Was this the moment they were trying to avoid?

“Here, grab this.” she heard from behind her back, and saw Saren handing her a gun. It was a heavy hand cannon, glowing with mods on the side. She looked at it, then at him. Her eyes were filled with a fire that he knew all too well. “Where’s your armor?” he asked, looking at her tight red dress. Not really suitable for fighting.

“On the Normandy, obviously..” she replied.

“All right...” he sighed “Just make sure you don’t die.”

She said nothing to that, she wasn’t in the mood. She passed him and went straight for the door.

They ran out of the apartment without hesitation, getting into Saren’s shuttle and in a minute they were up above the buildings, soaring through the chaos. But flying to the eye of the storm was not easy. The reapers mostly targeted buildings and shuttles, resulting in a chaos where every move was potentially deadly. His driving skills were put to the test as he was avoiding burning shuttles and reaper lasers, and some military ships flying out from the hangars already.

Jane was fiddling with her omni-tool, trying to reach the Council.

“Come on!!” she shouted, concentrating on the little phone icon on the screen and the name written there.

“Who are you calling?” Saren asked, but there was no time to reply.

The shuttle turned on its head, evading a burning wreck flying right in their direction. The vehicle exploded, sending a shockwave around that caught their tail as well.

“Fuck!” Saren cursed, holding onto the wheel with as much power as he could.

[Shepard! We’re under attack!] came from Jane’s omnitool, the picture of Sparatus popping up on the screen.

“I know goddamnit!!” she screamed frantically while Saren brought the shuttle back to its head, turning around and trying to navigate other routes. “Where is the fleet?”

[The defense force is already here, but they were obliterated immediately. The fleet is incoming in five minutes.]

“We need to evacuate the station!” Jane said, looking into his eyes and trying to focus on coming up with some plan to save the station.

[We have already started that, but we need to get rid of the reapers first!] he said, the connection breaking as a throbbing noise emanated behind his back. [Ahh, this fucker is blocking comms!]

“Where are you?” Saren asked, dragging the wheel left, evading a chunk of laser ripping through the buildings right in front of them.

[Destiny Ascension. We’re coordinating the fleet’s efforts once they’re here.]

“All right.” Saren nodded “Can you make sure to evacuate as many as possible, and hold the reapers up? We need immediate diversion.”

Jane looked at him.  
Diversion? He was planning something.

“What’s your plan?” she asked. Saren did not look at her to concentrate on the route, but he quickly made a comment.

“We should use our biggest allies, this is the time.”

[We don’t have time for this! What are you talking about?] asked Sparatus over the comms, fed up, trying to keep in place as the whole ship around him was shaking.

“Do we have any Leviathan artifacts on the station?” Jane asked, looking straight at the video feed. Saren smiled. He loved her brain.

Sparatus on the other end of the line looked in his lap, hesitant to reply.

[Yes, but only one. It’s in the Council chambers. The rest are being used on the battle theatres on the homeworlds.]

“Will one be enough?” Jane asked, grabbing onto the door of the shuttle as they turned one more time, avoiding death. Everything was happening so fast, she had no time to let the fear creep into her mind.

“I have no idea.” Saren said with a heavy breath “But it’s our only chance.”

[What do you want with it?]

“You keep the reapers occupied and try to save the peoples while we sneak to the globe.” started Saren.

“We use the globe to take control of the reapers” finished Jane “So we can get away.”

The turian on the other side of the line went silent for a second.

[We can’t leave the Citadel…]

“We can’t, you’re right.” Saren said “But if we stay and fight, we’ll all die and  _ then  _ lose the Citadel. This station is gone either way. We need to make the most of it.”

Sparatus sighed, giving his answer after a second of silence. [Do it. I’ll do my best.]

And with that the omni tool went silent and the call ended.

Their shuttle soared through the battlefield, now directly turning towards the Citadel tower that housed the Council chambers. It was more than hard to pilot this small vehicle through the fire and the flames, the shockwaves and constant fire. They were nearing the Presidium ring, when Jane managed to reach EDI.

[Where are you?] hummed EDI, seemingly upset, no background noise around her.

“I’m with Saren. We’ll try to kick the reapers with a Leviathan artifact and then get the fuck off this station. Are you on the Normandy?”

[Yes, all accounted for, except for you Commander, and Saren.]

“Then come to the Citadel tower immediately, and join the distraction. We’ll need an extraction once done here. The fleets are-”

Another wave of force hit the shuttle, this time from the front, and as she looked up, she noticed that the whole space around them went grey with the metal armor of spaceships popping out from nowhere. It was the fleet, finally arriving. They used the diversion to descend down to the Presidium entrance.

And the Presidium was completely changed.

Reaper scouts roamed the place, corpses, turmoil and wrecks everywhere. This place was taking its last breaths, void of the life that inhabited it once. As they made their way through the crowds of enemies, trying to come up on top without armor, constantly forced into cover, she felt her chest sinking in, filling up with emptiness and anger.

But she had to be strong.

She came so far, and it was not the time to fall apart. She saw Saren blowing through the swarms of husks, never missing a shot, moving forward always. They eventually got to the elevator and took it up to the Council chambers.

It was slippery from the blood, dark, none of the lights working.

When they entered and the doors closed, a dark quiet fell on them like never before.

“Are you okay?” Saren asked, his voice as low and beautiful as ever. It fit the darkness perfectly.

“I’m standing in a pile of blood of my society..” she replied sharply, not moving an inch. “How do you think I am?”

“The woman I know doesn’t give up this easily...” he replied. She felt his eyes on her, almost glowing in the dark.

“Do you think I’m giving up?” she snapped, looking at him angrily, pain in her voice. She was standing there, bloody, her dress spilt with various coloured blood, her feet hurting from even standing there from the disgust. She projected a feeling of darkness that he could only feel, but never actually see in her eyes until now. Now it was present, sharp in her look. She took her anger out on him and she realized it already. A deep sigh escaped her chest. “... Sometimes I wish I could be as cold as you are.”

“There is no such thing as a cold fire.” he replied almost instantly, calmly, like he just presented a fact.

That whole sentence sounded romantic… weird from Saren. But even if it was just a stupid metaphor, it got her thinking. But there was no time to think now, the elevator doors opened. And what was waiting for them, was the Council’s chamber in ruins. The reaper scouts ruined everything in the complex, and they were all over the the pedestal where the Council used to reside. It was so strange, knowing they separated. Sparatus remained to control the Citadel, while Valern went off to oversee the Crucible’s operation. And Tevos… handled tragic asari matters. And now none of them were here, filling her with a sense of finality.  
And they fought through them.  
The fighting was always so smooth between them, they worked together as if all they’ve done in their life was fighting alongside each other. But now it became even smoother. There were no unnecessary moves, no mistakes, just killing, moving from target to target seamlessly working into each other’s steps. They cut through the scouts like a hot knife through soft butter.

And when they reached the pedestal, Saren jumped to the computer and started looking for anything that could tell them where the artifact was within the chamber. Jane stepped over the corpses of the husks to look out at the battlefield. And something was very wrong.

Saren stopped.

A feeling in his chest arose, and his fingers crept away from the console. It was a feeling that he felt long ago, when he first set foot on the Normandy. It played the same sour, dark tone in his mind, flowing into his brain. He looked up.

A dark shadow loomed over the hall, reminding him of glasses shattering, a fluid darkness. He saw black, metal plates clouding the vision through the giant window behind the pedestal, and Jane stepped back from it, almost tripping in the corpses on the floor as a red, crushing light gleamed onto them.

It was a face of a reaper, ascending from the shadows, crawling onto the Citadel tower. It was bigger than anything else.

“Harbinger...” he whispered, looking right into its targeting core that was an eye of madness, a hot, burning core of lava.

“Quick! The artifact!” Jane screamed, backing away still, taking her place next to Saren, who resumed his work quickly, trying to hush his thoughts. The eye of the reaper ascended from them, letting them see it move higher, raising its metal claw to cling to the tower.

The fingers tapping the building shook the tower, cracking the ceiling as it moved, and they saw another leg, coming straight for the hall.

“Saren...” Jane hasted him, her voice worried, seeing the trajectory of the claw was right through the Council chambers. It was going to hit them. “It’s gonna crush us!”

“Got it!” he said, as the console suddenly retracted, making way to a little opening in the ground. Saren reached in and pulled out the artifact: a glowing orb of glass, with darkness flowing inside.

Without hesitation, he pulled her to his side, and offered her the globe, and so they held it together. He looked at the reaper’s claw, coming closer and closer to them, and he looked into her eyes.

“Do you remember this place?” he asked, whispering almost, his eyes locked in with hers. His hand squeezed her waist, pulling her in, keeping her with him.

She remembered this place.

It was where she first saw him when talking to the Council and telling him he was a traitor. It was where she promised to find him and kill him. It was also the place where the glass fell to millions of pieces after he pulled the trigger three years ago.

It was the place where she shed her first tear for him.

“Let’s change its history.” was all he said, a cold smile on his face. It was the kind of smile she loved the most on him: where his mandibles parted, his eyes glowing. He breathed:

_ “Leviathan.” _

A wave of shock travelled through the hall with a speed faster than light.

Time stopped for a second as they felt Leviathan’s mind rushing through them and extending into the space around them. It was a short moment, bringing vacuum into their lungs, and releasing a force stranger than indoctrination. Jane saw the sea creature, its glowing eyes looking right into her, and through her…

Harbinger.

A second later, she found themselves standing in front of the orb that was now floating in the air, frozen, only its mist circling around it. She looked outside and saw the reaper’s claws stop. She looked at Saren agan, who stood there, flabbergasted, but slowly realizing what happened.

[Commander!] came suddenly from Jane’s comms, it was the voice of Sparatus [The reaper stopped! It’s not moving, it’s not shooting, it’s just sitting on the Citadel tower! Did you find the globe?]

Jane sighed, a small laugh escaping her, voicing her disbelief.

“We did” came from Saren. “It’s frozen.”

[All the rest are still moving Commander, we have to get the hell out of here, even if the biggest one is gone.]

She screamed into her omni tool as an idea popped into her mind: “Close the arms! Harbinger is trapped, he has no access to the keepers, or the Citadel, it’s completely out! Leviathan trapped him! So if it keeps him here, the rest will be without a leader! That might win us the war! Close the arms and get the hell out of this place! We’ll regroup afterwards and find a plan to destroy them once and for all!”

He did not argue.

[Now closing Citadel arms.]

“That’s my girl.” Saren said, and when Jane looked at him, she moved so fast, all he noticed was that she was kissing him.

“Let’s go.” she said, and pulled him down from the pedestal while radioing the Normandy for extraction.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“You froze Harbinger?” came from Javik, whose jaw just dropped. “And you didn’t try to blow it the fuck up?”

“The fleets have tried, believe me” replied Saren, crossing his arms. They were in the war room with the full crew, discussing what just went down half an hour ago. “They couldn’t do it. It’s carapace is… indestructible. It’s not like any of the other reapers.”

“I saw that” Joker jumped in “It’s twice the size of Sovereign.”

This time Kaidan stepped forward. “I cannot believe we just left the Citadel there. Probably millions have died.”

“And if we and the fleets die, their sacrifice will be for nothing.” Jane replied.

“They did not want to sacrifice themselves!” Kaidan argued “Those were millions of innocent people, and you left them to rot there!”

“Kaidan, you know that is not true!” Tali intervened.

“I didn’t sacrifice them! The Citadel evacuated as much as they could! Half of the station was dead within minutes, how can you tell me I let them there to rot?!”

Jane was furious. She was on the verge of losing it all, trying to push the thought back, that just minutes ago millions of people died. And Kaidan…

“If you think I’m responsible for their deaths, you can go jump out of the fucking airlock now, or I will toss you out with my own hands!”

Kaidan stepped back. He remained silent for the rest of the conversation.

“Ok, so EDI” Jane turned to her “Please tell me we have something on Vendetta…”

“I couldn’t recover the data itself” she said, raising her head “But they were sent to Cerberus HQ. The data tracks left led me to the location. We know where the Illusive man, and Vendetta is.”

She turned around fast, still pumped from the action and the trauma, and looked at the galaxy map.

“Send the coordinates to Joker to set a course to wherever that is. We’re going there. We’ll rip his heart out, and finish the Crucible.”

 

 


	28. Predictable

 

  
  


After Jane stormed out of the war room, Joker and EDI started to the cockpit to take the ship en route to Cronos station after letting them know the ETA was 22 hours. The rest followed, each of them dispersing throughout the ship, getting back to their posts and try to forget everything that happened here. The reapers, innocent deaths, even the party. Kaidan just stood there, dumbfounded, suddenly realizing that only him and Saren remained in the room.

The turian slowly walked towards the door with a violent look on his face, targeting only Kaidan. When he was about to pass him, Saren stopped and looked at the little human from the corner of his eye. A shiver ran down Kaidan’s spine, as he realized how big he was. He only reached up to his shoulder, that now turned to Kaidan. Saren was swimming in Jane’s cherry scent.

He grimaced at the thought of what might have happened between the two of them. He looked up at the turian, and met his cold blue eyes.

He spoke on a deep, whispering voice: “I see you still can’t keep your mouth shut. If you ever talk to her like that again, she won’t have any body of yours to throw out the airlock, because I will cut you into pieces..”

And as he finished, he passed him and left the room, leaving Kaidan all alone.

  
  


* * *

  
  


“It was over the line.”

As Tali was sitting down with her tea in the mess hall, Garrus put his left arm over her shoulder. She smiled at him and started drinking her tea.

“I agree.” Garrus replied “Kaidan should know better at this point.”

Tali scoffed. “Garrus, you’re too kind… He won’t know better, ever. What did you expect from him? He left Jane when she needed friends the most, how could he understand?”

“You should listen to your quarian, she’s on point.” came from behind their backs suddenly. They saw Saren enter the mess, stepping to the coffee machine.

There was something different about him that Garrus only now noticed. His voice had an undertone that he only heard from turians a couple times in his whole life. And his mandibles immediately clicked when he noticed the mark on the left side of his neck.  
He didn’t know what was more surprising: the fact that Saren had bonded with someone or the fact that Jane was strong enough to make a  _ visible  _ mark on him. Turian skin was hella tough. But after thinking for a second, neither of these things were surprising. Saren sent a whole reaper into a sun and lost an arm just to bring her back to safety, and Jane was strong enough to scare away human males. They suddenly seemed perfect for each other in his mind.

Under the table Tali squeezed one of his talons. It seemed she noticed too. Garrus was doing his best to mask away his thoughts and continue the conversation so Saren doesn’t notice their awareness.

“Kaidan’s not evil.. He’s just a bit...”

“Sheep-minded.” Saren finished the sentence, casually grabbing a mug. “He thinks institutes solve everything. He relentlessly believes in the Council and the Alliance, and ignores reality. As far as I know evacuation is the call of the Council and is carried out by C-Sec and Citadel officials. Jane belongs to none of those groups.” he started to prepare his coffee at this point, not even looking at the others “Jane is a spectre, with the sole purpose of defeating the reapers. The fact that Alenko believes Jane is responsible for the evacuation of those people shows that he misunderstands the basic difference between institution and spectres. And that’s a shame, since he too was offered a spectre position.”

His coffee was ready. He turned around.

“I can’t argue with that..” replied Garrus, nodding in his direction.

“I just hope Jane is ok..” Tali added. Saren looked at her, stirring his coffee.

“She’ll be fine. A little sparring and all her worries will go away.” and with that he was off to the elevator.

Tali and Garrus looked at each other in a hurry once they were sure the elevator left the floor.

“Did you see the mark?”

  
  


* * *

  
  


He did not lie.

He was absolutely sure that it was just a matter of time, and Jane would come flying to the gym to tear it up. And when that happened, he was going to help her release the tension, he was sure. But first he had to retire a bit into his quarters.

When he entered his bunk he climbed out of his robe and jumped into the shower. He washed all the blood off and continued to just stand there with the hot water streaming down his face.

He couldn’t control his mind.  
Just an hour ago Jane was sitting in his lap, biting into some cherries. He just couldn’t let it go, he felt he was still in that moment. He felt her nails digging into his neck, marking him forever, just like how he marked her.  
He wanted to feel her again, to devour her again and again, and then destroy the reapers once and for all. He was never this pumped in his entire life, and he felt stronger than ever. A whole reaper army could come for him now, and he would not care. What this woman did to him was stranger than anything in this world.

He was never looking for love.  
He never thought he was going to mark someone, much less let someone mark him. But she was different. She was perfect. Everything about her amazed him, from her scent to her hair, her body, the fire inside her, her intelligence. It was her idea to close the Citadel arms on Harbinger… fucking crazy. He smirked.

He finished showering as fast as he could, he needed to go.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Jane opened the gym door and slipped in. All she saw was the punching bags, she focused in on them immediately, and started punching.

She was so angry.

That fucker Kaidan accused her of leaving half the Citadel rotting there. She had enough. She had to deal with Mordin’s, Thane’s, Legion’s, and so many other deaths, he couldn’t keep it together anymore. The whole galaxy was expecting her to save everyone, everywhere, without casualties and it started to seriously bother her. She honestly didn’t care anymore. She beat herself for so many deaths, she beat herself to the ground countless times, everyday. She was tired of all of this. Was it so hard to understand that she was a living being as well?

Was it so hard to understand that falling to the ground every time wasn’t helping anyone?

She was destroying the bags as her thoughts raced, firing her fists into them with incredible speed every second. She wished Saren was here now. He was the only one who saw her for what she was: he didn’t look down on her and never thought she was weak, but didn’t look at her as only a tool to save the world with either.

Saren…. For a split second her hands stopped at the thought of him, but she quickly resumed. What a man. Just thinking about him fired her up and now she was attacking the bag like it was her mortal enemy. She felt his touch on her skin still, his voice in her ear. The pain when he bit her still lingered in her mind. He knew her so well, he was probably on his way here. And when he would arrive, they would spar until she would lose all her strength.

The door opened suddenly.

It wasn’t him.

It was Kaidan again, steeping in, looking at Jane with his puppy face, remorse in his eyes. She was already tired of this. She wasn’t sure at all if it was a good idea to bring Kaidan along at this point: no one dared to openly doubt her apart from him and it started to get on her nerves. Every time he’d doubt her he’d come around to say sorry eventually, making her feel like she was too hard on him. And he was standing here again, with that face.

She sighed. “Yes?”

He started fidgeting. “Look, Jane, I know what I said was...”

“It’s  _ Commander _ ” she corrected him instantly as she stopped the bag with her hands, looking at him with eyes throwing sparks.

He cleared his throat, starting over again in defeat: “Commander, I know what I said was disrespectful. I didn’t mean to say it was your fault… I was angry, I guess.”

“Fine” she replied, the anger still present in her voice “But you should really learn to channel that anger in the right direction. I don’t do well with my crew disrespecting me like that...”

She was vicious, her eyes said it all.

There was something in her that he felt like wasn’t there before. It was the same confidence, but it seemed like it had a dark impulse behind it. It scared him almost.

“Of course. I’m sorry.”

“You know Kaidan” she started, stepping closer to him “All I hear from you is you saying something stupid, then apologizing for it. Sometimes I think bringing you on the ship was a mistake.”

That hurt him. He looked into her eyes and all he saw was an unfamiliar fire that he never saw before. He wasn’t sure who this woman was anymore.

“You changed, Shepard.” he replied, his expression riddled with disappointment. “I’m not sure who you are anymore.” he said, but her reply was not the one he expected. He saw the same disappointment mirroring in her eyes.

“I never changed Kaidan. If you would have been here when it counted, you would know that.” and she turned around, leaving him at the door. He just stood there, flabbergasted. But he didn’t have even a second to reply, as he heard a very familiar step behind his back, and he realized there was someone behind him.

It was Saren. He knew.

He turned around to see his face, to see the usual disgust on his plates, but when he looked at him, that was not what he saw. The turian didn’t even notice him, not even from the corner of his eyes. He only saw Jane, the cold blue in his eyes locked on her. It had only sheer amazement in it, nothing else.

He understood that day that he had nothing to do here, and passed Saren without a word, leaving the gym.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He stepped in, only wearing some training gear, and nothing else. His eyes were glaring at her, a growl already starting in his chest. She stepped away from the bag and immediately made her way to him. She stopped only a step away, and he wasn’t sure if she was going attack him straight away, or kiss him. She was in a small short and a fitting black top that let her hips show.

He inhaled deeply.

“You’re so predictable...” he teased as a sly smile spread across his face. She loved that smile.

“Just like you are..” she replied, sinking into a hip.

“Want to dance?” was all he asked, settling into a battle stance.

She laughed a bit, her husky voice promising him entertainment: “Only if you can keep up!”

He cracked his neck, and they started what they call dancing.

Jane simply went in for a slap, not unusual of her, and Saren blocked. Move followed move and they were quickly in the middle of the room, trying to land in a punch. They were in their own little world again, circling around each other in a dance of sparring, a large smile on both of their faces. Jane laughed loudly as they went faster and faster, and he noticed she was moving even more fluidly than usually. She was playing with him, eventually forcing him into a position where he left his chest unprotected; which she used to kick him clean in the stomach.

He was forced to take a step back, and realized immediately that he will have to duck down, as a round kick was incoming. She raised her leg high, aiming for his head, and as she turned her hair flew after her, showing her amazing back, and Saren changed his mind. He caught her calve in the air instead, and before she could react, he ran his talons along her leg, up towards her thighs.

That caught her off guard.

She removed her legs instinctively and started looking for other ways to crack his defenses. But it was too late, and he was already the one attacking again, threatening her with heavy punches that flew just inches next to her face. The air became hot as they moved, buried deep into the passion of landing a point. And when she went in for a high punch, leaving her waist open to attack, she screamed a bit in surprise.

He grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up onto his shoulder, turning as he went, laughing out. He carried her like a potato sack and Jane was screaming, her feet dangling in the air, making Saren laugh even more.

“Put me down, this is unfair!” she threatened him, slapping his back that did nothing. But in his laughter it was him this time that forgot about defense. Jane dug her nails into his side suddenly, firing pain into his sides that made him fall to his knees, letting her go. She fell on her back in front of him and turned to stand up from her knees, but Saren caught her right ankle.

And pulled her right under him. He pressed his talons on her back, and clawed lightly into her skin, sending a shiver down her spine.

“I’m unfair? What was that with your nails?” he growled at her, half laughing. She turned around and tried to hit him but he pinned her hands down next to her head. “Who’s laughing now?”

“Not you...” she said with a sly smile, kicking him in the stomach. He rolled off of her, and both of them stood up, panting from the exercise. They were face to face again, fists up, enjoying the game. And they were at it again, hitting and blocking, evading constantly, circling around the room in their battle. Saren became more and more aggressive, taking over the control of the match, but never letting down his smile. His movements changed, and it seemed that his goal now was not to hit Jane, but to touch her when she least expected it. And she decided to play along.

That resulted in her eventually slamming him to the wall, following up with her fist, but she hit the wall instead, since he moved his head away. He caught her hand that slammed into the wall. He pulled on it, so now she was leaning against the wall, with him looking down at her. He was so close she could feel the rumble in his chest as he murmured into her ears, pinning her to the wall.

“You can’t win against me..” he whispered, planting a kiss on her neck, and without a second of thinking he reached down to raise her leg up to his hip. His large talons slid up her things to touch her, resulting in her moaning into his ear.

She felt his talons on her skin, his mouth on her neck and she knew there was no going back now. As she wrapped her arms around his neck to caress his fringe, he hugged her waist, pulling her closer to him. She kissed him wherever she could, giving in to the sensation that he caused her. Their lips met a second later, and they exchanged a long, heated kiss, that left them breathless. He pressed her to the wall again, and pushed his talons under her top, tracing them up on her waist, just below his breasts.

“You don’t need this...” he whispered on his godly voice, barely keeping it together. She was irresistible to him, and he wanted her right now. But she stopped his hand, grabbing it at the wrist.

“Close the door..” she sighed, caressing his leg with her own. She was right. She was only for him to see, and no one else. He quickly reached behind to look at his omni tool and with a touch of a button the console on the door turned red.

And with that he continued discovering her once again. She invited him, pressing herself to him, dragging the clothes off of him, as his hands slid under her top. She enjoyed every moment of him touching her, and urged him on, pulling him closer and closer. They were not nearly done with each other.

He turned her, so he was now behind her, and propped one of her hands behind her back to keep her still. He pressed her to the wall and reached with his other hand to cup her breasts as she pressed her hips to his. He returned her movement to tease her, while he bit into her neck, strengthening his mark.

“You’re beautiful” he hummed into her ear and finally eliminated the distance between them, taking her in a feverish move. He pressed into her hard, making her moan with pleasure. His insides were on fire from the burning desire he felt for her, that only grew with every second.

They quickly got lost in each other, enjoying the moment while they still could.

Because they felt it too, the darkness was coming fast again.

 

 


	29. Cronos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the hiatus, life buried me in business once again.. :( Hope you'll like this chapter and the next one to come! :)

  
  


The silky sheets covered Jane up to her chin, giving her warmth as she opened her eyes in her bed. The first thing she saw was something she never saw before: a certain turian laying next to her, sleeping in complete peace. His silver plates were smooth, his mandibles relaxed, and his chest was rising and falling in a stable rhythm. It was a strange sight to see him at such calm.   
It filled her with comfort, putting her at ease.

She didn’t want to look at the clock, she wanted to remain in this silence a bit longer.

This was a side of him that only she saw, that he chose to share only with her. This moment was hers, and she was thinking of how far they had come. He was her bondmate now, and that feeling she couldn’t compare to anything.

She saw his eyelids slowly open, his blue eyes sparkling up as the light hit them. He moved closer to her instinctively and started to comb her hair with one of his talons. She had a very strange look on her face.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked quietly, still a bit sleepy.

“Do you think...” she started, wondering “Would have we met, had it not been for the reapers?”

His mandibles moved, just a bit. “Of course.” He was so certain and confident, it gave her chills. Not the world could break him down anymore, it seemed. He was everything she ever wanted.

[ETA to relay is 1 hour.] came the comms from EDI. After they pass this relay it will only be minutes till they arrive to Cronos station, where the Illusive Man resides. Saren rose up from the bed just like he was, and Jane followed him with her eyes, realizing he came around the bed to her side, and reached for her.

He lifted her up into his arms, and took her to the bathroom, and the hot water was streaming down on them after a minute.   
  
  


* * *

  
  


“Ugh, Commander” called Joker with a worried face, looking at the monitors. Jane was standing above him with Saren and EDI. She turned to him upon hearing his voice. “ETA is 3 minutes. But there is no traffic coming from Cronos, it seems the station went silent.”

“How is that possible?” Garrus asked in the background.

“Well...”

The station appeared in the space around them, in the distance.

It was almost impossible to spot, its surface blending into the darkness. The only light coming from it was the still glowing, hot ash that formed a coat around the station. Part of its plating was completely missing, revealing the naked structure of the object, showing that the whole thing burned down in and out.

“But… how did this happen?” Garrus exhaled. It was hard to believe that the Cerberus headquarters they were looking for for so long was now in ashes. Jane snorted.

“It looks like the reapers have finally found them.”

“We need to investigate, and soon.” Saren started “If the reapers took Vendetta, we’re done for.”

She looked at him.

Is it possible that the reapers are currently sailing away with the information on the Crucible as they speak? Is it possible that it is already too late and all their efforts until now were for nothing?

He saw the darkness on her face as her thoughts raced on, but he also witnessed her pushing the panic down, and overcoming it. She needed to concentrate, and she brought herself back into focus in a second. This was the first time Saren really picked up on her doing this on her own. He still remembered the length he had to go to bring her back into focus once she strayed.

Maybe, finally, she learned how strong she is.

“Then let’s go, we have no time to waste!” she commanded and left to the docking tube.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


When they arrived on the station, it was in complete ruin and awfully empty. It seems all the Cerberus operatives evacuated, and the ships left behind were useless. They found nothing and no one, but they proceeded to the higher levels of the station - looking for the Illusive Man, or any trace he might have left behind. The further up they went the more complicated the levels became, but they proceeded relentlessly, up until they ended up in front of a door leading to a maintenance area.

Saren looked at EDI confused. “Are you sure it’s this way? This is a maintenance area..”

“Yes, it is this way. I am 99.99% sure.”

“But why would the Illusive Man setup his control room behind a maintenance area? It doesn’t make any sense.” Jane said, while bypassing the door on her omni tool.

“Maybe he wanted to hide it, like his whole identity.” Saren replied.

The door then opened, and things got more complicated.

As they walked in, they saw that the maintenance area wasn’t exactly what it’s supposed to be. A giant hole opened up for them in the station, with a silver eezo core in the middle hanging, held up by an intricate support structure mounted on the high ceiling, possibly the peak of the station. Ten claws resembling ribs hugged the core for what seemed protection. They all knew now that the Illusive Man wasn’t hiding his office behind the maintenance area: The label hid the giant core of the station, that was awfully familiar.

Both EDI and Jane exhaled heavily as they realized what it was.

“What the hell is that?” Saren asked, realizing this is not a regular eezo core.

Jane looked at him, than back at the structure in awe. “I think it’s the core of the human-reaper the Collectors created.. If you read the reports, than..”

“It was handed over to Cerberus.” Saren continued, having read the reports. “I understand. They have the best resources to be able to use something like this in research. Destroying it or handing this over to the Council wouldn’t have helped much.”

“That is correct.” EDI commented “But there is no indication on the rest of the reaper, I cannot see any of its other parts here.”

Saren looked at Jane with a question coming up in his eyes. She answered before he could ask: “It used to have arms and a head as well with powerful laser cannons. I’m not sure where that went....”

“Possibly used in research” continued EDI, standing over at the terminal mounted at the wall, hacking through the data “It appears this core functions as a superactive eezo drive core, flooding the station with energy.”

“Yes, but where was that energy used? This station has no weapons, it’s not a classic space vessel that would need much movement - Where does that energy go then?”

EDI ran some processes, but only found errors. “Access is denied. I cannot get into that part of the system, I have no clearance and I cannot hack that code.” Saren proceeded to look at the terminal with EDI to see if they could somehow break through the security firewalls, but it appeared fruitless. Jane started closing in on the core, walking the path along the railing they were on.

The core was absolutely beautiful.

Without the face and arms of a reaper, it looked like a giant, silver jewel hanging in the darkness, lighting up everything around it. It was so familiar to her deep down, it intrigued her. She wasn’t sure why.

“We have to proceed, this is pointless. I can hack through reaper structures, but it appears Cerberus outdone themselves this time” Saren commented as he stepped away from the console and turned to look for Jane. She was far on the railing now, examining the core.

He couldn’t help but notice as they started to make their way too, that this core was something different. It almost spoke to him. He felt faint, barely noticeable waves hitting him gently the closer he got. He was suddenly calm, almost at peace. He saw Jane and he stepped closer, brushing his shoulder to her to let her know he was standing behind her.

She just stood there, aware of him, looking at the core.

For some unknown reason she reached for his hand in secret, and grabbed his talons.

Why was something so alien, created by reapers so beautiful? But then again, this was a question that came into her mind every time she looked at Saren.

“We should proceed.” he whispered lightly, then left. She took another look, then they all left the core. They passed the railing to the door on the other side, EDI hacked it and they proceeded through.

This was what they were looking for, the lair of the Illusive Man.

It was a giant room with one single chair and computer in the middle, looking at the red, shining supergiant.

“They’re not here, obviously..” Jane commented to herself, visibly annoyed. “EDI, can you check if Vendetta is here?”

“Of course, Commander.” she said as she ran to the computer to try and hack into the system to get any data possible. Saren stepped to the edge of the room to observe the view on the supergiant while EDI was working, and Jane decided to sit into the chair of the great leader of Cerberus. The turian looked back at her, and despite their worrying situation, he could see the smile on her face.

“That’s a hard blow for the Illusive Man” teased Saren, a smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.

“Of course!” she said, casually dangling her crossed foot high in the air, like a bored queen on her throne “This is the least he deserves!”

“Commander, I have found something.” came from EDI.

Jane stood up immediately: “Already?”

“There is not much I can see in here… Mostly organizational, regular data about Cerberus and it’s activities. Nothing regarding Vendetta. Maybe there was some research done on it so that way…” she stopped talking, typing away at the console before suddenly stopping: ”Saren, this might be of interest to you.”

He looked at her, his face making an unexpected expression.

“Bring it up.” was all he said.

Pages of data flooded the holoscreen, that Saren could not understand. It was mostly a bunch of code that he did not recognize. “What is this?” Jane asked.

“I need to refer back to our discussion regarding the data stored in the reaper of Haestrom” started EDI, looking at Saren “Specifically the data that you recovered when bringing back the Commander.”

“What?” Shepard asked, surprised “You also recovered data from that reaper?”

“Yes.” Saren exhaled, looking at the data on screen “When in the nav system, I found turian space destinations, including Palaven, and I decided to dig deeper. I’ve found some largely damaged blueprints for what seemed turian organs. I let EDI know, as I found the data highly suspicious, even though large amounts of it were missing, including the data that provided the reaper with these blueprints. The reaper was gathering information on turians, but it wasn’t complete.”

“Correct. Coincidentally, these data caches appear to be large amounts of turian genetic data. A quick search showed they are corresponding to most of the blueprints found on the Haestrom reaper. This is part of the data that those blueprints must have been prepared based on.” said EDI. A moment of silence fell on the room as the information sank in, and Jane looked at Saren once again.

She asked only one crucial question: “Why would Cerberus have this data?”

“They didn’t mine it themselves, that is for sure.”

“The most probable scenario according to my calculations is that Cerberus stole it from the reapers.” EDI added, waiting for a reaction.

Saren stepped back. This was concerning. Cerberus stealing turian genetic information from the reapers? This fit into none of Cerberus’ (so far) presented plans regarding the reapers, it just didn’t make sense. Why would they need genetic data? Above all, about turians, when they are a pro-human terrorist group? They wanted a turian reaper, similar to the human one?

Jane saw his inner battle with his thoughts and stood up to step to him, planting her hand on his shoulder in a move of comforting him.

“EDI, is there anything regarding Vendetta or this trash of a man?” she asked, knowing that this topic would come back up later in discussions. For now, they needed to focus on their objective, which was getting Vendetta and learning what the Catalyst was exactly.

After a couple minutes, EDI provided an answer: “I have found no direct information regarding any of them, but from the station emergency logs, it appears that there was one ship leaving the station just before the attack. It was a high class ship, heading to...” she stopped.

“What’s wrong?”

“I.. ” she looked confused, bringing the data up on screen to replace the previous one “I don’t recognize these coordinates.”

Saren and Jane looked at the screen, then immediately right at each other. It has been almost three years since they saw these numbers, and it was immediately clear to them, that they both knew what this was.

“The Mu Relay” they said in unison.

Jane immediately turned around with Saren hot on her heels, not waiting for EDI to catch up who just pieced the information together.

“JOKER” Jane shouted into her comms, her voice strong “Heading back now. As soon as we return, I want the Normandy immediately to be on course to the Mu Relay!”

[What?] came from the other side [I must’ve misunderstood. The Mu Relay?]

“Damn right, Joker!”

 

 


	30. Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the hiatus again :( Sh*t went down with work, I had to travel, then got sick, then ended up moving on top of everything..... haven't had even 5 mins to sit down and finish this chapter :( :( Sorry about that. Hopefully all the busy stuff is gone now so I can return to my normal schedule. So stay tuned, this fanfic is going! :) Let me know how you like the chapter, next one coming really soon (this week)!  
> And of course, I wish everyone a happy festive season! :)

  
  


As soon as the shuttle landed in the Docking area of the Normandy, its door was kicked open, and the ground party practically flew through the ship to the war room. Almost all the crew was there, even Joker was present, leaning on the interface. When they arrived they were greeted with sharp silence.

“The Mu Relay?” Joker looked at them, looking skeptical, but all he really felt inside was the impending doom. Jane stepped closer, bringing up the target coordinates on the holo screen, looking at the relay like it was a colossal obstacle.

“This is where the Illusive Man went” she said with a deep exhale “Prepare to see Ilos again.”

“The relay leads to many worlds, how can you be sure he went to Ilos?” asked Kaidan. Even considering their situation and the previous events, anything could happen, and it was a valid question. But there was no alternative.

“Where else could he have gone?” asked Saren, slamming his palms onto the interface, looking at the projection. “I should have known. It was all in front of my eyes and I failed to notice...”

“What do you mean?” Liara asked, genuinely intrigued, as always.

“The reapers of course.” he explained “You all know, I made extensive research to try and figure out what might be the Catalyst. When searching for the Conduit three years ago, it… ” he stopped for a second, remembering back to those days, disgust filling his eyes “It was a clear picture. Everything happened for a reason, and all the small clues led to a bigger picture. Indoctrination connected the data, as both the species that led Sovereign to the Mu Relay had mind control abilities - the thorian and the rachni queen - and the Mu Relay led to the Conduit which was the backdoor to the Citadel that held the key to resume the invasion again. I knew that these patterns meant something, and that they have to mean something now too.”

He looked around, and found everyone just drinking his words. He continued, looking at the projection:

“You found the plans for the Crucible, and learned of the Catalyst. We found Leviathan, who informed us that they created the reapers. It was apparent, that they were part of the pattern. And then Cerberus took Vendetta that had the info about the Catalyst, but we also learned from the reaper of Haestrom that dark matter destroys reaper eezo cores. The Crucible, Leviathan, Cerberus and the dark matter were connected. I just didn’t know how… There was a piece of information missing.” he sighed in frustration “It wasn’t enough that one reaper was destroyed by dark matter, I needed further proof. One example is just not enough…. And the Crucible plans mentioned nothing about dark matter either that could tell us dark matter was the weapon. That is because the information about that is probably not in the Crucible... but in the Catalyst. But now, the Illusive Man who  **has** the info on the Catalyst, is on his way to the Mu Relay… which couldn’t be more suspicious. When I saw the coordinates, I knew what info was missing from the picture. It was hiding in plain site all along. It was what Leviathan said.”

“That the leviathans created the reapers?” Liara asked, following logic.

“Yes.” Jane interrupted. She realized where Saren was going with this. She looked at him, his giant stature, now stooped over the interface. “And that the Citadel was not created by the reapers, but by the Leviathans.”

Silence. Only Saren’s baritone penetrated the tension as he looked at Jane.

“The Catalyst is the Citadel.”

“What?” Javik exhaled, the crew members looking at each other. Saren started pacing in the room, putting the picture together.

“It’s just too obvious. Leviathans created the Citadel and the reapers, for the harvest. The Citadel is a hub, a station and a mass relay. Is it so hard to believe that it is also a superweapon? It would explain why the Crucible is basically an empty shell - because it requires the Citadel’s intelligence to work. Leviathan did not lie ” he turned around, looking at Jane “It said….”

She quoted it for him.

_“The Crucible is not of our design. It has never been completed. Those who tried fell victim to the harvest._ _None have found the core. But you are different...”_

He smiled at her. He loved her brain.

“Exactly. No one found the core. The core of all galactic civilization, the Citadel. None of the crucibles were ever completed, because no one could reach the Citadel to actually get to the Catalyst. Javik, you know this the best” he pointed at the prothean “You said it yourself, that the Citadel was the first thing the reapers always attacked. The protheans were the first ever to access the station after a reaper invasion. That was thanks to the Conduit they created.”

“So this cycle” Liara stepped forward “Is the first one that can actually stop the reapers.”

“Correct.” Saren replied.

Javik looked into his eyes. The silence was so thick in the room, it could be cut with a knife. Javik was proud. The memory of his people laid heavy on his shoulder, but it almost felt like a small part of him was suddenly at peace. His people gave something to the galaxy, that could not be traded for anything. A chance against the reapers.

“I have completed some calculations” started EDI, visibly looking busy in her mind, computing scenarios as they spoke “There is a high chance the Citadel being a mass relay could distribute concentrated dark matter via mass acceleration. Also counting the undiscovered parts of the Citadel, it is even possible that the Citadel is capable of harnessing dark matter from the Universe.”

“Thank you, EDI.” Tali nodded.

Jane stepped back from the console, her face paler than usual.

“Great work, Saren” Jane said, smiling at him. “And you as well Tali, without your data, this wouldn’t be possible.” she said and received a smile back from Tali in return. She turned to everyone else, stopping for a second. A sudden, deep pain appeared in her chest, squeezing the air out of her. She swallowed her nerves. “And the same goes for everybody here. You have been imperative to this war, and now the eyes of the galaxy are on us.”

Why was she thanking everyone suddenly? Garrus thought as he looked at his commander, and saw the look in her eyes. She looked like it was the end of the world, and she couldn’t find the words to express her goodbye. She caught him looking at her, and her expression suddenly tensed.

“Joker, set the coordinates” she commanded in a cold voice “This is the end, people.”

The crew looked at her as one man, and Saren was no different. This crew was so important to her, it showed in these moments, as he heard her swallowing a tear. He saw her pain, he heard her heart throb. It was time.

“The best years of my life were spent on this ship” she started “But now I will be honest. This is our last journey.”

The crew members looked at each other.

“None of you will be coming to this mission with me, only Saren.” he looked at the turian, who himself looked surprised. The air froze in the room. “Garrus, Tali, Liara, Kaidan, I need you to go back to your own species, report to your leaders, and advise them. Your leaders already know about this. The protheans were defeated because they had one army, one unified tactic. I need you to take away everything you learned here, and lead individual, unique war efforts.”

She looked around, now completely confident in herself. It had to be done.

“We have an advantage none had before us. We must not waste it” she continued, slamming her hand on the panels “It needs to be perfect, and that includes divided, singular tactics hitting the reapers back in their faces, so that when we activate the Catalyst, they will group around the homeworlds, close to the relays. Because if Saren is right about this, the dark energy will be transported through the relay system.”

“That is what logic says, yes.” Saren added, his voice lower than usual. 

“Shepard, this is..” Garrus started, his eyes filled with panic, but Tali grabbed his arm:

“She’s right” she exhaled, looking at him through her helmet, and the turian already knew she was crying under there.

“But...” Joker said, readjusting his hat “What will happen to us? Someone has to take you there!”

“You will take us to the Mu relay, and use it to get to the Citadel with us. I want you at the head of the Citadel fleet, when the time comes.” She finished. This was it, all of them heard their orders, and they all knew what to do. Everyone understood. They all trusted her, and Saren could see it. He saw how Garrus seemed like someone mourning, his mandibles loose, a sad expression on his face. Even Kaidan understood, who was looking at the floor, speechless.

Jane and him followed a road that no one else was doomed to go down on. They all understood it. And her face amazed him: she stood there, so confident, her expression cold as ice, but her eyes were telling of everything. But it wasn’t sadness. It was pure determination.  
The crew gathered around her, and a second later they were saying their goodbyes. They hugged her, embraced her, and as they did, Saren just stood there, looking at her, seeing how not even a tear left her eye.

“Hey” he heard from very close, so he looked in the direction of the voice. It was the little quarian, Tali, standing in front of him, looking at him through her helmet.

“Hm?” he reacted, looking at the girl. He had no idea what she wanted, but it became apparent is a split second. The quarian reached her hand out, waiting for him. He looked at her, but there was only one explanation for this. She was saying goodbye.

He reached his hand out, and they shaked hands.

“You take care of her.” she murmured, her voice warm, but deep from sorrow at the same time. He just stood there for a second, not used to the fact that someone would say such a peaceful goodbye to him. Those days were gone.

“I will” he eventually said, and the girl nodded, then left him. As soon as she left, Saren saw another entering her place:

Garrus.

Turian looked at turian, and they slammed their hands together hard in a handshake.

“Don’t fuck this up” Garrus hissed “Or I’ll destroy you.”

“Shut up, asshole.” Saren replied.

They shared a small, sly smile and Garrus passed him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


As Saren stepped out of his bunk, his mind started to wander.  
The tension was so tight on the ship, he could almost feel it oozing through the walls as the aliens apart from Javik and him were now gone from the ship. They gathered all of the resources that could be acquired in the galaxy, and now it was time to let them to their thing. Jane was wise to not use one giant army against the reapers, but many smaller, unique ones: he agreed with her decision.

And now they were going to the Citadel once again. It seemed every road led there, and the memories just came over him. It was there, where he first saw her, during their meeting with the Council. So young, strong, absolutely crazy for war. It was there where he shot himself in the head, and he couldn’t help but think back. The life he had before, always filled with adventure and danger, missions after missions, only war and espionage. He loved that life, but that was taken from him, by his own hands, as he knew he fell prey to the reapers.

But then he got another chance and was back again, and all he did was trying to win a war with the woman he fought against, and marked her as her mate.

All of this was suddenly a mess of things in his head, like a rollercoaster ride into death. But he didn’t regret a second of it.

He did regret it ending.  
As much as he hated the reapers, and what they had done, he loved beating them to death, always just fighting, never stopping for a second, and he didn’t even have to fear indoctrination now. It will be very strange when this all ends… he was even a bit sad because of that.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The golden colour of the whiskey reflected from the glass as Jane held it in her hand, idly moving it around in a small circle. She stood in front of the observation window on the crew deck, looking at the great emptiness of space in front of her. She thought of her ground team, leaving the ship. They left in an hour and now the rest of them were on their way to the Mu Relay with Joker, EDI, Javik and the rest of the ship’s crew. She didn’t remove her armor, as this was a short flight, she knew: another hour and they’ll reach the relay. She was now just getting ready in his mind, the whiskey helping to ease her thoughts.

She never actually thought this moment would come.

It still seemed so unreal, like she was in a movie or something. The time has come, and the eye of the galaxy was now on her. And still, she was calm. In all honesty she’s never been calmer her entire life. Finality took over her entirely.

The door swooshed open, and she heard those familiar, heavy steps. A tiny smile crossed her face for a second before turning around, looking Saren right in the eye. He came around the sofa in the room, eventually reaching her and stopping next to her. He looked out at the empty void, then at her. He looked calm, determined, just like always. The usual air of cold surrounded him now too:

“This was the best course of action.” he commented, turning back towards the window “We would have had no use for them within the station.”

“I couldn’t take them with me. This is not their fight.” she replied.

“Then who’s is it?”

She looked at him. This couldn’t have been a serious question. He was testing her. “Ours” she whispered “Their job on the Normandy is done. They want to protect their homes, but I don’t care for that. Only we can win this war.”

Her look was cold, almost as cold as his, and for a second he almost didn’t recognize her. But he realized that her usual fire was still there, but only deep within, sleeping, waiting for the battle.

“Are you afraid?” he asked, stepping closer to the window.

“No” she replied, so lightly, not a shred of doubt in her voice. She stepped to him by the window. “I always wanted adventure. I dreamt of and lived war. And now here it is. I’m not going to run away from what I was born to do.”

Damn right, he thought.  
This was the moment to be strong, and she passed with flying colours.

“But you were not born to die for a society you never truly respected.” he replied, teasing her, curious about her reply.

“I never said I’m going to die.” she smiled as she looked at him, her voice almost playful.

“That’s my girl.” he purred, and they turned, facing each other now. He moved a hand to put a rogue lock of hair behind her ear, just like he did many times now. He looked in her eyes and saw the same wildness, the same craziness he saw on the first day, on Virmire. She’s a step away from death and destruction, and she’s not afraid of it.

But she was looking at him too.

She was standing in front of the most dangerous turian in the galaxy, and his eyes only saw her. She was still amazed by his features, those eyes, so cold, so perfect. She wished they’d met under different circumstances, maybe have a different life. But they were here now, and she realized again, how hard she fell for him.

She laughed a bit, how silly that was. Because no man could ever entertain her, and she fell for the worst possible vigilante in the whole universe. But she couldn’t help her feelings.

He leaned in, and as he dig into her hair, he kissed her, hard, instantly grabbing her waist and pulling her into him. His hand ran down her neck, lightly clawing at her skin, making her hiss.

“You’re mine, Jane..” he whispered, his voice seductive, but somehow warm at the same time. It sent a shiver down her spine “Don’t you dare dying out there.”

She laughed into his embrace. “You won’t get rid of me that easily… If  _ you  _ couldn’t kill me, then no one can.” They looked into each other’s eyes again, a small smile on both their faces. This dark impulse, lingering between them said more than any words.

She wrapped her hands around his neck, and they kissed again, her bodies in complete synch. They did not prepare for the war of their time, they prepared for an amazing victory, and the death of the reapers. They couldn’t take anything less than that.

 

 


	31. Origin

  
  


Shepard was standing in the comm room on the Normandy, watching as the projection of the Council members slowly appeared on the holoscreen. All three of them appeared, standing as motionless as ever, however it was visible that Tevos was devastated deep inside. But to be honest none of them looked good. Their faces were tired, worn down, as if they were at the stretch of their last remaining strength.

“Commander” they greeted in unison.

“Councilors” she greeted them back, nodding her head. She moved a bit, obviously waiting for others to join. Just a couple seconds later Admiral Hackett flashed up on the holo, closely followed by the Quarian Admiralty Board with a new additional geth member and eventually Wrex, Garrus and Victus. They all greeted each other, running the official rounds. Once all done, they all turned to Jane as one.

“What is the state of the Crucible?” she asked, directing her question to Hackett and the Council.

“Ready, currently silently orbiting at the perimeter of the system neighbouring Mu.” Hackett replied.

“The entire Citadel Fleet is protecting it” Valern added. “What is the plan, Shepard?”

“The Normandy is now orbiting Ilos” she started, her voice official and cold, sketching the plan “In 10 minutes we’ll touch ground. The Illusive Man is on Ilos with Vendetta after a crash land, as confirmed by our scans, no reapers present in the system yet, but still we need to be cautious. We need the Crucible to remain dormant until we can confirm the Catalyst is indeed the Citadel. Once that happens, The Normandy will arrive at the Citadel, using the Conduit, and the Catalyst can be moved to Ilos.” she put her weight on her other leg and crossed her arms, deep in concentration. “But we will need time with Saren to find the Catalyst and activate it on the Citadel. We do not know how many reapers are orbiting the station, and if they set up any alarm systems. Until we can pinpoint the Catalyst exactly and find a way or plan to activate it, the Crucible cannot pass through the Conduit.”

“That is most wise” Sparatus added “Premature arrival can cost us the Crucible, and with that our cycle..”

Jane nodded in agreement. “Exactly. I will radio when the Catalyst is confirmed, and once again when the Crucible can pass the relay.”

“What is our task during all of this?” the quarians asked.

“Remain in your current status until the Crucible can reach the Citadel. But if it will reach it, we will need you and the geth, as well as the krogan, turian, salarian and Alliance fleets to start simultaneous attacks on the reaper troops circling your homeworlds. This is to distract the reapers and keep them in the range of the relays, so that we can activate the Catalyst and make it reach all reapers in all systems possible, especially the species homeworlds.” she was explaining confidently, rock solid in her plan “But it is extremely important not to start the attack before our signal. It will alert the reapers of our plan.”

Jane still hated nuanced tactics, but this was the most simple and bulletproof plan they could come up with. There was no way around it, it had to be done.

“What happens if the Catalyst is not confirmed to be the Citadel?” Tevos asked, worry in her voice “I should imagine you understand the asari forces integrated into the Citadel Fleet cannot take any further damage, after Thessia..”

“We will either have to improvise, or abort the mission and come up with another battle plan.” Sparatus replied instead of Jane.

“What I’m really worried about” Wrex started, looking right into Jane’s eyes “Is Saren Arterius.”

Jane exhaled, visibly frustrated as soon as she heard him say that.

“What are you sighing about, Shepard?” the krogan asked. He wasn’t against the plan and he trusted Shepard, but he still wasn’t sure about Saren… “The turian who almost pushed the galaxy to doom once is now a key figure in this plan? Are you sure about that?”

“I vouch for Saren” she said immediately “And you would do well to trust me.”

“I trust you, Shepard, you know that” Wrex nodded “But I don’t trust him.”

“I do” said suddenly Garrus, making Wrex look at him, dumbfounded. And Jane was just as surprised: she knew the two turians weren’t exactly on the worst terms anymore, but hearing Garrus say he trusts Saren… was still unbelievable.“He lost his arm just to save Shepard, and it wasn’t the only time he proved he’s on our side now.” Garrus continued.

“I stand by that” Tali added, nodding at Jane.

“I don’t care what he did” waved Wrex “He betrayed us once, and he can do it again.”

“Enough, Wrex!” Jane called out, cutting him short. Anger took its place in her eyes now “This is my operation, and he is coming with me, whether you like it or not!”   
  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren still remembered the sound of the mako hitting the ground years ago, on Ilos. He watched as Jane and her team landed, but now he was the one sitting in the craft, meters away from landing at the same spot they did back then. And when they landed, the mako’s impact into the ground shook them, before it all went away, and now they were on solid ground.

He pulled the break and removed his hand from the wheel, exhaling raggedly as the vehicle stopped. He looked at Jane, and he saw the same nerve on her face that he felt as well.

The last time they were here, they were on opposite sides, trying to fight for the fate of the galaxy. And now they are here again, together, for the same exact purpose. It seemed like the events on Ilos happened only yesterday, as time warped in his mind. He was so delusional, so lost back then.

“Let’s go” Jane said, her face serious. She looked at the tunnel ahead of them, and swallowed her nerves. Saren gave gas without giving a response, and slowly drove the mako into the tunnel. When inside he sped up, pushing through the tunnel that ran under the colossal rooms that housed the millions of protheans fated for eternal sleep.

This place was haunted.

The discharged panels gave out faded, dim yellow lights, painting the walls even more greenish, that were already riddled with local flora that took over the complex aeons ago. The sun that was going down shined in from the sky, making the dust particles in the air visible.

The atmosphere completely sucked them in.

They were sitting in the mako, slowly driving through, not saying a single word to each other. They felt like they were back to the beginning, just as if time reverted and pushed them back from the present, to a completely different world. It was so strange that now, towards the end, they were living through their memories and in such a place so close to their heart.

Jane eventually removed her left glove, but not revealing her reason why.

“Look” she said, raising her left hand towards Saren, who looked in her direction, keeping the vehicle on track.

The ring on her hand was glowing in an emerald light.

“It remembers” Saren said, looking at her. A faint smile appeared on her face, bittersweet. The ring protected her from the reapers, and she suddenly remembered why she loved him. His mandibles slowly moved in response, imitating a very discreet smile.

He looked back at the road and found that they already reached the Conduit.

It was in its original state, just like how they left it the last time. He drove up the garden to the base of the relay to get as close as possible. There was no one here. He started wondering, why there wasn’t a single reaper present, or at least some troops. And to take it further, a question formed in his mind: Why didn’t the reapers take the Conduit to attack the CItadel at the beginning of the invasion?

But he had no time to think as Jane suddenly jumped out of the mako, running around it, towards the base of the Conduit.

There was someone there, on the ground.

Jane ran, and found a body underneath the relay control console. It was the Illusive Man, shot dead in the head, his hand outstretched, a gun not far from him.

“Fuck...” she hissed, looking at his pale, lifeless face that had an empty look on it. It was immediately apparent that he shot himself in the head. She took up his pistol, put it away and checked his pulse, just to make sure, but he was indeed dead. But it all seemed recent, maybe a couple hours ago. “It’s the Illusive Man.. he shot himself.”

Saren exited the mako, looking around. As he made her way to Jane, he found a tiny globe on the ground, and reached down to pick it up. It could only be one thing.

“I think I found Vendetta” he said, and motioned to Jane to come back to him to the vehicle. She ran back, and once she was there, Saren activated the little globe, bringing up a holo of the prothean program, Vendetta.

“Vendetta...” Jane sighed.

_ [You are attempting to recover me from indoctrinated forces?]  _ the construct asked.

“Yes. The Illusive Man is gone. Now tell us what the Catalyst is!”

_ [Reapers are vulnerable to concentrated, large amounts of dark matter. But the Crucible was not strong enough to harness such a power and convert it into a large enough weapon. The Catalyst was discovered to harness dark matter to fuel the Crucible and use it as a weapon against the reapers.] _

Saren’s heart throbbed from pride.

_ [The Catalyst is the only thing capable of fueling a superweapon. It is part of the core of the galactic civilizations.] _

They looked at each other.

_ [The Catalyst is the AI core of the Citadel.] _

“That’s it.” Saren replied “This confirms it.” The construct looked puzzled for a second.

_ [Were you expecting this?] _

“Yes” he replied again “There were some signs pointing to this, but now we’re sure.”

“Saren, three years ago, when we were here” Jane started, turning towards the turian “You activated the Conduit. Can you do it again?”

That sly, always confident smile appeared on his face. “Of course.” he said smoothly, already turning away and walking to the relay console. Jane in the meantime raised her omni tool and started calling the Council.

“Sparatus? Ok, so what we have here is….” she started the call as she slightly turned away.

Saren didn’t even bother looking at the Illusive Man’s corpse. He just stood above it, the Conduit’s control panel taking his attention as he skimmed through the familiar code. This relay, because it wasn’t used often, therefore not maintained properly in the last 15 000 years, had long lost its touch and for it to work, it required an extensive amount of charging time. He only prayed that since the reapers last used it, it had time to recharge.

But what he found he did not expect.

The logs showed that the last usage entry was from three years ago. He looked at the code. It was his own. He took a step back, trying to re-analyze the situation… something wasn’t right here.

“Vendetta!” he spoke, still looking at the code “Do you know why did this man shoot himself in the head?”

_ [He failed to put his ship down and crash landed. He then proceeded to learn that he could not activate the Conduit to get to the Citadel. In his desperation, he shot himself.] _

Of course he coudn’t activate it. He never had the Cipher, and Vendetta clearly wasn’t able to help him.

“Why did he want to use the relay? To break the Catalyst before we could use it?” Saren asked again, not satisfied.

_ [Incorrect. He wanted to activate the Catalyst. He believed he could control the reapers using some virus, distributed via the Catalyst, but he was wrong. Reapers cannot be controlled.] _

Virus? Was this the same virus he used to infect him? Why was he trying to help if…

“But he was indoctrinated… How could he?”

_ [He was never indoctrinated] _ said the construct, shaking its virtual head.  _ [His organization was. He avoided all physical contact with the reapers, and instead sent his lapdogs. Soon, all fell to indoctrination, but him.] _

At this point, Jane who was discussing the coordinate details with the Council also turned around, as she listened to the conversation with one ear. Saren looked up at the Conduit, now confused more than ever. The reapers never used the Conduit apart from when they initially found it (which he thought the reapers were using to attack the Citadel the last time), and the Illusive Man is also not indoctrinated? What was going on here?

_ [He wanted to solve the conflict. By coming here, he thought he had an advantage on the reapers.] _

“My point exactly” Saren said, turning back to Vendetta “How come he thought he’d have an advantage? How come that he was right and there is not a single reaper present here, when in reality they know this route very well? I helped them travel through it three years ago, Sovereign knew about it! His data was all sent out to dark space to the other reapers!”

“Hold off for a second” Jane said in the call to Sparatus “I’ll call you back.” She terminated the call, now turning to Saren and the construct. Something was not ok. She needed to hear.

_ [Incorrect. The Illusive Man provided me with insight, in case I’d need to pass on the information to help the cause of the reaper’s demise. The Illusive Man and Cerberus has successfully recovered a large part of Sovereign’s wreckage three years ago. He has data confirming that Sovereign’s last transactions never reached the reapers in dark space.] _

A chill so cold and frightening ran through Saren, he felt he was dead for a second.

“Then how did the reapers know about the Conduit? How did they recreate me if they never had the information?”

_ [They never knew about the Conduit, and they have never recreated you.] _

An exhale so soft left Saren’s mouth, like it never happened.

“But then… how...” he sighed.

_ [Cerberus used Sovereign’s data to recreate you, Saren Arterius. The Illusive Man informed me that the human reaper’s technology was more than enough to expose the technology and process required for a birth of a reaper. Extensive turian genetic data was used to create blueprints for a half organic turian reaper. Your current existence.] _

Turian genetic data.

“So that’s why Cerberus stole the data from the reaper of Haestrom?” Jane exhaled, recalling their conversation with EDI “Is that how that reaper got damaged in the first place?”

A great big world suddenly started to collapse in Saren’s mind. His heart started beating so fast like it never did before in his entire life, and he couldn’t stop himself. Like a robot, he rigidly, slowly turned to the corpse next to him, that was still there on the ground, just at his feet, facing the ground. It was a corpse of an old man.

“Why...” he breathed, barely audible. Jane didn’t dare to move an inch. “Why would this man ever… ever...”

He stared at the body. His hand slowly moved as he leaned down, and for a second Jane could swear, she saw his talons shaking. He reached down and grabbed the man by the shoulder, turning him as he went, revealing his face. It was a face very familiar to him, old, wrinkly, but the hair, the…

He tripped, almost falling back from the realization that slammed so hard into him, his heart almost stopped beating. He knew this face very well.

“It can’t be...” he hissed, staring at the floor, getting further and further away from the man with every step. “It cannot be...”

“What?” Jane asked, running to him, trying to keep him standing. It seemed that suddenly all of his strength left him, paralyzed from the shock of seeing a ghost. “Do you know him?”

“Jack Harper...” he hummed.

Jane’s eyes widened in shock. “What? You  **_actually_ ** know the Illusive Man?”

He swallowed his nerves. “I met this man during the first Contact war… he’s Jack Harper. He helped stopping a terrorist attack against Palaven, that involved a possibly reaper artifact, the Arca Monolith.”

“A terrorist attack?” Jane asked.

She had never seen a look quite like this on Saren’s face ever before. His mandibles tense, his eyes completely lost their shine. He never talked about this to anyone before.

Not until now.

“I had a little brother, Desolas.” He stopped. Gathering strength he never thought he’d need. “He was maddened by the Monolith. I killed him, bombing the entirety of Temple Palaven, to protect the homeplanet from him.”

Now she understood that dull, empty shine in his eyes.  
His brother went mad because of indoctrination.  
She now knew why he pulled the trigger three years ago, on the Citadel.

Saren stepped further back, backing away from the corpse, the Conduit and Vendetta at the same time. A vague expression on his face as he fell so deep into his own mind, reality started distorting around him.

The yellow, emerald colours of Ilos seeped into his mind, making him dizzy.

He wasn’t recreated by the reapers? To doom the galaxy? But by Cerberus, to protect it? That is why Jack chose him? Because of Desolas?

“Why...”

A strong, clear voice broke up the distortion in his mind. He saw Jane in front of him:

“He believed in you.” she said, confident. “Just like I did.”

He felt her hand on his mandibles, and his jaw naturally sank into her palm. He had found no words to describe the feeling coursing through him. It felt like his existence wasn’t just a lie anymore. This was his way. He chose, and he chose well. His purpose was clear, clearer than ever before.

Stop this mad war. Once and for all.

And he was stronger for it all.

Jane saw the light come back to his eyes. She saw the same strength he pulled from somewhere every time, the force that could not let him break down. He was stronger than anyone she could have possibly met, ever, finding focus where only chaos remained. He was truly unstoppable. That’s why the Illusive Man chose him. That’s why  **_she_ ** chose him.

Saren looked at the Conduit. He re-centered himself, now stronger than ever. There was no stopping now.

“Call the Council” he commanded “I’ll finish the coding in 10, they have to make the jump.” Jane nodded in reply. As Saren stepped to the console to open the relay to the Citadel, he looked at the Illusive Man, lifeless on the ground.

He nodded, deep, paying his respects.

It was time to go.

  
  
  



	32. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **IMPORTANT NOTE:** Hi! Thank you so much to all who read this. This is the last chapter, so our story concludes here. I cannot say how happy I am that I got to write this, I wanted to do it since ages. Please let me know how you liked the end! :)  
>  **BUT,** Since I cannot get enough of these characters, **I am going to write a new fanfiction!!** It will be again the same Jane and Saren, but in an alternate universe where the reapers never happened. It's gonna be so awesome, I cannot wait, I already have a ton of ideas, it'll be a lot more raw than this one! (I love these characters, but sooo much trauma happened to them in their life, I want to play with their personalities in a more raw, trauma-less status: i.e. no reapers) I am going to create the "Work" today, it's going to be called **Forever War,** but the first chapter will only come 2 weeks from now (20th January 2019, Sunday), as I need time to build up the structure of the fanfiction so you hopefully get a coherent story instead of a bucket of randomness done on the fly (I worked and researched a ton on this fanfic too before deciding on plotpoints/directions). If you're interested, stay tuned, we'll start Forever War on the 20th! :)  
>  Thank you again and I hope you like this chapter!! :)

  
  


It was almost like the Universe extended a bit, as if something, some strange force was pushing everything further apart, slowly, unseen, calm. Almost like the Citadel was coming apart, but so slowly that it would take thousands of years.

And the station was silent, just floating in the emptiness of space. As Joker looked out the observation shutter, he thought for a second that someone stopped time itself. Hundreds of giant reapers lingered around the now closed station in the dust, but motionless. None responded to the Normandy, or anything else.

They seemed to be in trance, all of them, sleeping in the nebula.

“What the...” Joker exhaled, sitting back down into his chair slowly, looking at the passing, still reapers.

“They seem inactive” EDI added, looking outside herself. “It must be Leviathan’s influence.”

“Yeah...” Joker nodded, not sure if he believed it or not. This creature must have been very powerful, otherwise he had no idea how the reapers all froze in the area.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The Relay Monument lit up, viciously spinning its rings before spitting out the mako that flew over the railing, right into the wall on the Presidium. Jane never thought she’s going to make this fall again, but here they were, crushed into the wall, the rover on its side. They crawled outside, meeting in front of the vehicle. Both of them seemed to be okay, no harm done by the jump. Jane raised her omni tool to reach Joker “Normandy, Can you hear me?”

[Loud and clear] came the reply from the other side by Joker.

“Status report!”

As Saren was listening to Joker’s short summary, he looked around the Presidium. The whole area was dead, littered with corpses of many races, as well as collapsed reaper scout troops. It was like a bloody cemetery at this point: completely lifeless, haunted. It was as dark as never seen before, clouded in the fog of war, dust and debris. But he knew, it will not be anymore.  
Today, everything is going to change, and as he listened to Joker and looked at Jane, he was more confident in this than ever before.

[Normandy arrived safely, all systems operational. There is no reaper opposition. There are countless reapers floating about, but none of them are responsive. As if they are paralyzed.]

“That’s Leviathan’s power” Jane nodded, looking at Saren for a moment, a small smile lingering at the corner of her mouth “All the reaper ground troops are frozen here as well.”

“We still need to hurry” Saren interrupted “I have no idea how long this can go on.”

She nodded. “Joker, We’re going to search for the Catalyst now, keep stealth systems engaged, stand by and report if anything goes wrong. Wait for my signal until you let the Crucible through.”

[Aye-Aye, Commander. Good luck.]

And with that, she closed her omni tool and stepped to Saren.

“What do you think?” she asked, looking at the turian. They had no idea where to find the Catalyst. It was all right that it was the Citadel, but she didn’t know where the drive core was. Maybe…

“I think we better engage Leviathan” he said, deep in thinking “It might just know where to go.”

“Sounds reasonable.” she replied, and they were off to the elevator that took them to the Citadel Tower, the Council chambers where Leviathan’s artifact was left. Where it trapped Harbinger.

  
  


* * *

  
  


_Eternal darkness covered the dark metal that lost its shine now. It became dull, muted, only a shadow of what it once was. Devoid of its power, its freedom torn, the gigantic reaper was tired. Tired and bruised to the point that it had become silent. It only floated in the dark fog as it tried to get free, but failed hard every time, more torn down which each second._

_Its mind was reduced to its basic instincts, the deepest of the darkness that lingered inside of it, twisted, unsound._

_And the silver creature of the waters kept its eyes on it, tearing into its corrupted soul. Harbinger felt the water. It was flowing around, like air, but trapping, suffocating it. It not only felt the water, but felt the colossal eyes of the sea creature on itself._

_Its silver body lingered in the distance, commanding like a puppet master moving its slaves._

_“You are nothing more, than ash” sounded Harbinger, its mind in pieces, disturbed. “I have ripped your flesh and heart millenia ago. You were always just ash, and you will always remain so.”_

_Leviathan showed no fear._

_“And still we are here, longer than you have ever been.” its voice was liquid metal in Harbinger’s mind, filling its neurons with fluid it had hated. Water was life, the cradle of all life that turned ash._

_“We are infinite.” it retaliated “Where your life ends in death, ours remain above all. Its truth rings in your fate.”_

_Suffocation was the reward for the words it spoken._

_“We gave you life” Leviathan’s voice swam through the water like thunder “That you betrayed.”_

_“We cannot betray what we never vowed for.” was Harbinger’s answer “All life is doom, and we are eternity. We are freedom. You cannot keep us here forever.”_

_The sea creature’s eyes slowly closed, falling into memories in the cave of its ancient brain. It tapped into a pond of blood, a sea of war and death. It remembered the light of Harbinger’s crimson eyes shooting through the darkness of the galaxy, wiping away millions and hungrily drinking their blood. Ripping through the earth and water their lives were born upon, and crushing the stars that embedded them in light. And the blood had coated it like a mantle, hardening around its skin like metal, turning the tool into a monster._

_Harbinger was the predator, fated to be a tool. But it was maddened by the very blood it hunted. It was eternally mad, a colossus of darkness, still roaming. In its eyes Leviathan still saw the same: the hunger, the destruction._

_“You’re not freedom. You’re a shadow of your own purpose, a machine without wear, long gone when it should have stopped. You are mad to your core, a useless mechanism running past its time. You will end. And you will end by the hands of the very thing you talk down to.”_

  
  


* * *

  
  


The elevator doors opened, and thank god both Jane and Saren had their helmets on and their suits entirely closed. Because as the doors opened, aggressive vacuum sucked them into the Council chambers, lifting them off the floor as the last particles of air got sweeped into the vacuum.

“What the fuck?” Jane cried in surprise as she reached her hand to the elevator controls to stop herself from floating away. “Why is there vacuum in here??”

“Some part of the chamber is possibly leaking” Saren also held onto the railing at the entrance, already reaching to his boots to turn suction on. Their boots were specifically for these scenarios: where they had to move in the vacuum of space, during emergencies mostly.

Their feet soon touched the ground and they started to make their way to the artifact. This room was completely empty as well, only the blood on the floor remained, possibly all the corpses got sucked out. And it was no wonder: the glass behind the Council’s pedestal was completely gone, exposing the room to empty space. One of Harbinger’s claws was slightly in the room, that was what possibly caused it to break in the first place.

Nonetheless, Leviathan’s artifact was still at the same place, floating above the ground, covered by its mist circling around it. It seemed its hold on Harbinger, and in extension the other reapers in the area was still lasting.

“It’s still working” Jane noted, stepping to the globe.

“It’s weaker however” said Saren, pointing at the claw of Harbinger that was dangling just in the giant window, slowly moving from time to time, like a twitch.   
Jane looked at the artifact. It was time they end this once and for all, so she motioned Saren to step to her, so they could initiate contact together.

“ _Leviathan_ ” she called.

The same shock travelled through their bodies that did the last time they were here. It knocked the air out of them for a second, and engulfed them in a dark cloud. They barely saw Harbinger anymore, and Leviathan’s eyes lit up in front of them.

_“You have returned.”_ a thunder coarsed through them as the creature spoke.

“We have found a way to defeat the reapers, but we need your help.” Saren started immediately, not wasting a second. He grabbed the little globe out of his pockets and activated it. Vendetta suddenly appeared in front of them, and Leviathan’s attention shifted to the prothean construct.

_“What is this?”_

“This is Vendetta, a prothean intelligence.” Jane started “The Catalyst is needed to complete the Crucible. Vendetta here needs to interface with the Citadel AI to activate the Catalyst and blast the reapers to oblivion. The Catalyst is the Citadel AI.”

For a short second, the light of Leviathan blinked.

The dark cloud around them shifted for a moment, revealing their surroundings, showing Harbinger’s so far limp claw shoot into the air slightly then falling back to the ground, shaking the whole tower with it. The ceiling and the walls moved from the force.

Saren instinctively stepped closer to Jane and curled his hand around her waist to protect her. Just a moment later, Leviathan’s eyes flashed up again and the movements of the reaper stopped.

But this time, it was slightly paler, more silver.

“What was that?” Jane asked, fearing the worst.

_“We created Harbinger. It’s perfect in its design. It will escape even my hold.”_ the sound of thunder that belonged to Leviathan was now different, slower and deeper _“You must hurry in what you do, this battle will soon end.”_

“We can’t let it escape! If Harbinger wakes up, it’ll destroy the Crucible and we’ll never get a second chance!” said Jane, looking at Saren, deep into his blue eyes. She was more frustrated by the second “Why did I even think trapping Harbinger was a good idea?”

_[If you would not have done that, your plan would never work]_ Vendetta suddenly said.

“What?”

_[The Crucible will not recognize where to target the dark matter. It needs to be calibrated to reaper data, before it can create the proper targeting algorithms. Otherwise it will destroy everything. Harbinger is at the perfect place at the perfect time.]_

“Why isn’t it calibrated yet? Why are we only doing this now?” Jane asked, furiously. The damn weapon was being prepared for months at this point, and it was never calibrated for reapers?

_[None ever got this far to complete this step.]_ Vendetta replied. Jane looked at her feet as she felt the weight of its words. She knew this before, but having to hear again that no one ever made it this far was crushing. No one ever stood where they stood now.

“Tell us then, where is the AI?” Saren asked Leviathan.

_“The AI core is deep within the bowels of the station. You will not need to travel to it, the main control panel in front of you, with my authority, will give you control to upload the data you need.”_

Saren remembered. It was also where Sovereign instructed him to upload the keeper code three years ago. Jane stepped to the console and turned back, looking at Vendetta.

“Give it to me” she commanded and received the globe from Saren to interface it with the control systems. “Do you need time for the upload?”

_[Yes.]_ the construct responded _[Commencing code upload, … 5%.]_

“Joker, this is Shepard” she reached to her comms “The Catalyst is getting ready. Call the Council, it’s time. They have to make the jump with the Crucible immediately and dock on the Citadel.”

[Roger that, now contacting Citadel Council.] Came the confirmation from Joker.

So far everything looked better than expected.  
“Splendid” noted Jane, reaching for the control console again “Opening Citadel arms now.”

She pressed some buttons, and the arms of the station started separating, opening up to soon welcome the Crucible.

Victory was in an arm's reach now.

But just as their eyes met with Saren to share a small smile, another quake shook the chambers, and Leviathan’s light flickered again.

“No” hissed Jane with barely any air in her lungs as she saw Harbinger’s giant claw crush into the ground, breaking into the floor and walls below them, ripping down a side of the tower as it pulled its finger out. They fell to the ground, and saw the claw exit the building, not attached anymore.

It was breaking free.

And on the Namakli, tiny bubbles started travelling up from the depths of the ocean, carrying drops of silver, metallic blood in them as the ancient, withered bodies of Leviathan moved under the water, sinking down further with every moment. Waves of shock travelled through the water in their suffering, harder to keep control by the minute.

_“Hurry”_ they heard from the globe, Leviathan’s voice fading away _“I cannot... keep it trapped for long now.”_

Saren stood up, looking out at the reaper that started slowly moving back and forth, as if still stuck, but waking up. It did not detach from the tower completely, but its claws were twitching enough to let them know this wasn’t going to stand.

“We need it to stop” he said as he turned to Jane and helped her up “Harbinger’s going to ruin everything.”

_[Code upload 25%.]_

“What do you want to do?” she asked back, trying to figure out what would be the best course of action. Their plan was soaring so far, but this could ruin everything they worked for.

“We have to stop Harbinger somehow.”

Then Jane’s comms sounded. [Commander, the Crucible made the jump successfully, they arrived safely in the system.]

“Make them dock on the Citadel!” Jane shouted immediately “We need them ready right now!”

[Of course.]

  


* * *

 

  


The arms of the Citadel opened up wide, spreading into the nebula. A giant, round construct entered the area at the same time with a large fleet around it. The Crucible floated to the station from behind, connecting to the Citadel tower. The engineers on board looked out with awe as they saw a colossal reaper attached on the other side, and as the Crucible docked, they came right across from it.

It was wiggling its arm in shock, as if writhing in a non-existent cage.

It moved more and more with each second.

_[Code upload 60%.]_

“Fuck” Jane cursed, cruising back and forth in front of the console.

“This is not good, we have to do something.” she heard from Saren again. She turned to look at where he was. He was standing near the giant window where Harbinger removed his claw not long ago and left a tear in the side of the tower. He was looking outside, visibly measuring the distance between the tower and the reaper.

_[Code upload 75%.]_

The ground shook again, and a second later Leviathan’s eyes flashed up around them, completely silver, constantly flickering their light, just like a bulb before going off.

_[Error. Interference detected. Harbinger’s blocking transaction.]_ informed Vendetta.

“What?” Jane said, turning back to the console, looking right at the construct. “No!!” she screamed, putting her hand on her helmet.

Everything was falling apart.

[The Crucible docked, Commander.] came from Joker.

“Start data transaction with Tower control immediately, we need to calibrate the weapon before Leviathan loses control over Harbinger!!” shouted Saren into the comms now too, still standing on the edge.

Another quake shook them, and this time, it did not stop. The reaper crashed to the side of the Tower slightly, barely hanging onto it, trying to break free in every possible way. Leviathan”s light flashed again, and the sea creature’s deep, ragged voice filled the room. The dark cloud around them started turning silver and fluid, like a very strange coloured blood.

It was falling apart.

“Jane!” shouted Saren from the edge “I’ll end this!”

Her heart throbbed.

“No, Saren!” she screamed, standing up, trying to make her way to him. He stepped back to the console slightly, resulting in them meeting in the middle.  
They almost crashed into each other from the tremors, and Saren caught her, pulling her hand towards himself “We need to deactivate its AI once the calibration ended, otherwise it will doom us forever!”

His eyes were shining in their blue, more beautiful than she had ever seen.  
He was ready to die to pull this through, but she was not ready to let him go.

“No!” she hissed, a tear streaming down her face as she pushed her helmet to his, doing her best to make their foreheads touch in their gear. “I’ll go with you!”

He almost clawed into her armor as he swallowed his nerves.

She was not going to come with him.

She had done more for him than anyone will ever be able to, and he wasn’t going to risk the only human in existence who he cared for. She will remain here, in safety, and carry through with the transaction.

“No you won’t!” he eventually replied, the look in his eyes softened. They only had this one moment. “You have to live. If you die, everything I did was for nothing.”

He pushed her hard, making her fall to the ground as he turned around, leaned in and shot himself out, and ran to the very edge of the chamber, going right to Harbinger’s targeting core.

“Saren!” she cried out desperately, but he did not stop. He disappeared at the end of the room, jumping through the empty space using his momentum. He flew through the distance between the tower and the reaper, crashing right into its now closed targeting core.

He was going to make this fucking reaper pay for everything they’d done.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jane just sat there for a second, looking at the place where Saren was just a second ago.

This should have never happened. She belonged with him, and she could only pray that he wasn’t going to do anything stupid while on Harbinger. She could not bare losing him again, and she hoped he knew that.

After all, he promised him that after all this resolves, they’d escape.

Another tremor shook the chambers, and she could barely stand up. That was when her omni tool rang again.

[Shepard? This is Admiral Hackett.]

“Hackett? What is your status?”

The Admiral’s voice was confident on the other side: [The Crucible is docked and the data is flowing from Tower Control. I don’t know what you did, but the whole system is powering up rapidly. The engineers can see reaper data flowing in to the targeting systems.]

“That data is coming from Leviathan and Harbinger trapped here.” she explained “Keep collecting the data and readying the weapon. Leave the rest to us.”

Her eyes were shooting sparks almost, that Hackett couldn’t see on the other side. But he felt that something was off.

[Commander, don’t do anything stupid!]

“Hush!” she commanded in the heat of the battle “We’ll make it work one way or the other. Shepard out.” and with that she closed her omnitool.

“Vendetta, status report!” she said as she looked at the console, then into the air amongst the now constant quakes that Harbinger caused, and realized that Leviathan’s aura almost completely disappeared.

The sea creature wasn’t going to hold for long.

“Saren” she whispered to herself, closing her eyes for a long second “Please..”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren landed right on Harbinger”s closed targeting core.

He looked for an opening somewhere where he could climb inside, but there was nothing. The only thing he found was a narrow line where the reaper’s metal plates protecting the core met, and he dug his nails under it. There was no other way.

The machine was constantly moving at this point, and it was sheer luck that it didn’t crush the Tower yet. He found a grip between two fits of the the panels, and started to pry open the fit. He set his foot and gave in all his strength to pull it open, but it wasn’t working. In a second he was heavily panting.

Opening a fucking reaper with his own hand wasn’t in the spectre handbook.  
But he had a geth arm now.   
He switched hands and closed his eyes for a second. Straight back, weight on hips and knees. He started to lift the metal, ripping the fit open as he went, his claws digging into the metal. He felt his muscles burn as the weight transferred onto him, but he didn’t stop. His mandibles twiched and a roar left him, as the metal ripped open and he blasted off the covers. The metal flew off into the empty void, and he got to the second layer. He ripped it apart at the seems, and the targeting core became visible in a second. He pried open a small opening next to the closed globe, and slipped in.

The metal was blasted off from his kick as he ripped through the wall of the reaper, cutting some cables that fell out of the ceiling, and he fell right into one of the corridors. He lifted himself up and looked around, trying to identify his position.

Harbinger was built similar to the other reapers, meaning its control room was just above the targeting core. He didn’t even have to hack through any doors to get there: the whole complex was confused, wall panels opening and closing, corridors moving as the reaper was shaping constantly, door opening wide and shutting closed in seconds, ripping apart the wall from the force.

Leviathan’s hold on the reaper was still strong, and it seemed it almost drove it insane. He used it as an advantage and danced through the confused doors in a minute, ending up in the control room.

“Hello” he purred as he set his eyes on the control panel as he arrived, running to it immediately.

He started working at once.

It was easy to hack the outer security layers of the reaper’s intelligence, coming from the fact that getting free from Leviathan took all its strength, and Harbinger’s intelligence was clearly redirecting resources to protect its inner coding. But that meant that hacking the inner layers was almost impossible, even for him.

He needed to make sure not to shut down the reaper prematurely. If they cannot calibrate the Crucible before it shuts down, all their efforts will go to waist. But he soon realized that he did not need to worry about this. He arrived at a block in the code he just couldn’t proceed through. He slammed his fists onto the panel, roaring from anger.

He had to find another way to shut its AI down.

That was when he had an idea. Shutting down the reaper couldn’t only be done via hacking. Just like any AI, it had an AI core of its own, that was still just hardware. He stepped away from the console, deep in thought now, all his anger gone.

He’s going to rip that core apart, with his own hands if necessary.

So he turned around and ran just above the drive core, to the room that housed the AI core on all reapers. It was payback time.

  


* * *

  


Jane was pacing back and forth between the console and the rip in the wall.

Time was running out, Leviathan completely disappeared and Harbinger outside was moving wilder than ever, almost as if in shock. She didn’t hear from Saren, she didn’t hear from Hackett, or the Normandy, and her nerves were through the roof. Her heart was racing, like a rocket launched into space.

_[Calibration Complete]_ Vendetta informed, and she turned around _[Data upload 80%. No progress possible while Harbinger’s signal is still active.]_

Without that data, even if calibrated, the Crucible will not be ready to launch.

She stopped in her tracks, staring deep at Leviathan’s globe.

“Leviathan” she hissed, but the sea creature did not reply.

Darkness took over her in a second, as she realized she needed to choose. She either stays here to make sure Vendetta and the globe are protected, or leave this place, follow Saren into Harbinger’s bowels and try help him eliminate the signal.

She closed her eyes, trying to sort her thoughts. And a second later, she realized she had nothing to think about. They are going to die either way if Saren fails. As she opened her eyes, he looked at Leviathan’s globe, and the crack on it that grew bigger every second.

She almost felt the creature suffocating under water, as it gave its life to keep Harbinger trapped.

“Thank you, Leviathan.” she whispered slowly, lingering for a short second.

Her instincts prevailed, and she raised her omni tool to initiate contact.

“Hackett” she spoke, her voice filled with the confidence of finality “ Start the attack on the homeworlds now. And as soon as Harbinger goes offline and the upload finishes, activate the Crucible. The Catalyst is going to gather the dark matter, send it through the Crucible and all reapers will be destroyed. But do not hesitate. Jane Shepard out.”

She ripped the omni tool off of her arm, and sent it to the floor. She was not going to need it where she headed.

[Shepard?] chirped the tool in Hackett’s voice.

She turned to the tear in the wall, looking at the suffering Harbinger shaking around the tower. Her heart almost exploded, and the air in her lungs flowed like never before. She flexed her fingers, feeling her ring on it.

She leaned in, and bolted to the opening in the Tower, and at the edge, she kicked herself off, flying into the emptiness of space, and right into Harbinger’s targeting core.

[SHEPARD??]

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren couldn’t believe this.

He’d never seen an AI core as massive as this one before, and he didn’t bring any heavy weapons. He looked at the core, its cables running everywhere, the main hardware buried deep inside the casing, not a single way for him to get through.

But he had to get through, even if he dies here.

He started gripping the tubes and cables and ripping them off five at a time, ruining their comb, causing electric bursts in the air around him. He wished he was a simple turian now, so that his metal plates would not lead the electricity from the core to his skin. He felt the small thunders bolting through him as he ripped the core apart, until there were no more cables left.

He attacked the casing then.

He felt his claws rip into themselves, blood filling his gloves as he dig through the metal seems, but he couldn’t stop. If he did, Jane would die.

He didn’t give a single fuck about the rest of the galaxy, but her… His teeth clenched as he howled in pain, until he felt a jolt in his muscles, and the electricity firing out of the core shot him, sending him to the ground.

A hellis roar escaped him as he felt his helmet and chest burning.

Then he felt the reaper moving again. Harder this time, sending him rolling on the floor to the other side of the room. It smashed him to the wall, almost knocking him out.

Leviathan….

  
  


* * *

  
  


_Harbinger arose from the water in its mind, its red eyes bursting sparks at the sea creature in the distance. It was swimming in its own silver blood, its eyes shot open, as life was leaving it, the darkness taking over._

_“You end now...” Harbinger hissed, its voice dark, electric “... Leviathan.”_

_And the sea creature did not respond, its silver eyes became ash, turning into foam in the ocean._

  


* * *

  


Saren stood up and ran to the core again, but just as he placed his claws to continue destroying the AI core, a colossal, ripping siren went off, with the voice of millions of reapers, shaking the walls and spreading through the nebula. He looked up at the core that was now alit, glooming red from the extreme heat, and he realized.

Harbinger broke out of its trap.

An expression of doom took over his face as he realized they are done for. He was late. Too late.

Again.

“Get away!!” he heard, and looked behind his back to see the face of the voice he knew so well.

Jane stood there, just at the entrance of the room. Her posture was that of sheer determination, the fire of vengeance burning in her eyes. Saren didn’t have a second to breathe, much less ask what the hell she was doing here, because she reached behind her, and removed the grenade launcher from her lower back. She placed her weight on her other leg, securing her posture as she hugged the launcher in her hand and looked right into his eyes.  


**“This is the moment where we bathe them in their own blood!”** she roared, more beautiful than ever, and Saren had to jump.  


Or else, her fire was finally going to burn him too.

She pulled the trigger, and the grenade flew right into the AI core, shaking the whole complex. Another roar escaped from Harbinger, but this one was a desperate, surprised one, and Saren flew to the other half of the room from the shockwave. She secured herself and pulled the trigger again after reloading, the biggest smile on her face yet.

Rockets flew into the AI core, ripping the metal to million pieces, and Jane’s laugh emanated into the void, like a melody of victory, her eyes aflame from the heat. The room shook, but she stood still like a statue, finally blasting the reapers back to the hell they crawled out of. Saren got blinded by the explosions as he escaped to the entrance, taking his rightful place next to the most amazing woman on the face of this fucking galaxy.

Their laughter rang out as they watched the core burn to hell, disintegrating in front of their eyes. It riled them up to heavens, hearing the sound of the hearts of everything they hated shatter to atoms.

When Jane was done, the emergency system kicked in, putting out the fire that annihilated the AI core, and with that, the spirit of Harbinger forever. But just as she lowered her weapon, the reaper again started shaking to its core. The screws started coming out of the walls suddenly, and they heard a loud bang from just below them.

“The drive core!” shouted Saren “The Crucible is active!”

They looked at each other, the smiles vanished from their faces as they realized what was happening.

“If that is still active….” Jane exhaled.

“The Crucible will destroy all the reaper eezo cores, including this one...” Saren finished.

Now this did not sound good if they wanted to live.

That shit is going to blow them the hell up, just like they did with Harbinger a second ago.

“Can we stop it?” Jane asked, honestly looking at him, preferring life over death naturally.

“If we shut down the drive core, it might avoid us, yes.” Saren answered, and from then on, they already knew what to do.

The panel in the control room should do the trick.

They started running through the empty corridors of the reaper, chased by the energy of the Crucible powering up, already dismantling the reaper around them. When they reached the control room, Saren planted his hands on the console, no hacking needed now that the reaper’s intelligence was gone. He navigated to the core functions, and with the press of a button, Harbinger’s bright blue core lost its light and gone dark, first time in millenia.

Just a second later, a wave of shock swept through them, knocking both of them out.

And the wave spread, heating up the reaper, and through it, from the arms of the Citadel, right into the nebula. The fabric of the universe expanded for a second, and from relay to relay, the wave of darkness shot out to everywhere, seeping into the core of eezo in every reaper’s heart, spoiling millions of machines in less than a second.

Turian, asari, salarian, krogan, quarian and human soldiers dropped their weapons as they saw reapers blow into tiny supernovas, covering the sky in their silver, black blood. And they laughed together, just like Hackett did in his ship, orbiting around the Crucible that shone like a star bright enough to blind a galaxy.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Saren opened his eyes, dizzy. He pushed himself up from the ground a bit, looking at his legs.

He had all his limbs, and he didn’t feel dead, which was almost surprising to him. It was dark, but he could still see something, and so he started looking for Jane. She was lying next to him on the floor, not moving. He leaned over her and lifted her head into his lap, barely seeing her eyes through her helmet.

Her hand fell limp next to him.

He never knew what fear was, but this moment tested him. But only for a second, as her head moved slightly a moment later, and she soon opened his palm to support herself with her hand on the floor. She sat up, and they looked at each other, many questions in their mind.

“Did it work?” she asked as she stood up, along with Saren.

“I think so” he replied slowly. They stepped to the control panels, and he started checking out the state of the system “The wave that blasted through us was the Crucible.”

Jane looked at her feet.

They destroyed the reapers. Under her helmet, her mouth curled into a small, silent smile as she felt all of her stress ease away. She was free.

“All systems are operational, even the drive core.” Saren noted “Apart from Harbinger’s AI. This reaper is nothing more now, than a simple spaceship. Turning on oxygen ventilation. The only thing I don’t know is where we are.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, just coming out of her own mind that already started celebrating.

This was one of the very few times when Saren looked puzzled.

“We’re not at the Citadel, these location coordinates… I have never seen anything like this before.”

Jane also checked the numbers he mentioned, and she got to the same conclusion. The coordinates weren’t even in the correct range of what supposed to be the Milky Way. They looked at each other again, confused. What the hell was going on?

“Can we open the shutters?” Jane eventually asked.

Saren nodded and pressed a button on the panel. The shutter on the control window slowly started to rise, filling the room in a red light. As the darkness evaporated and the view became clear, they saw where they were.

A giant, red sun was looking right at them from the distance, circling a planet sized debris field around it. It was a lone star, not a single planet around it, only one thing: a giant, black mass relay, with a core of crimson that resembled Jane’s hair in sunset.

It took their breath away.

This was not the Milky Way.

“The system knows this location” Saren said, digging through the logs “This is _“Origo”_.”

“Did we get transported to…?”

“The other side of the Citadel relay.”

This short, silent moment was suddenly dragged out as realization hit them like a dreadnought. They were at a place no organic ever been to. This was the place Sovereign wanted the reapers to pour in from to the Milky way. Saren turned back to the panel, and as he heard his own heartbeat speed up, he searched more through the logs.

“This isn’t the only relay.” he started “There are thousands of other relays after this one.”

She looked outside.

The sun looked powerful and large, and the relay circling around it promised a new life. There are thousands more relays after this one, with thousands of worlds maybe. This was what he meant before Haestrom. To find a new life, out in dark space.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked, his look piercing into her eyes. She stepped to him and put her hand on his, that lingered just above the panel. She grabbed it and slowly removed it from there.

“Do _you_ want to go home?” she asked back, with a barely visible smile on her face “I want to see what the universe can offer...” she said, quoting him.

The shine in his eyes was an unmistakable answer.

They are going to see the world, and see where it takes them. To war, to peace, but definitely to a place without reapers. She smiled back at him, in true happiness.

“But first...” he purred, taking off his helmet, and putting his hand around her waist. She removed her helmet as well and as her red hair fell to her shoulders, he was buried in her cherry scent once more. “...First… I want to celebrate.” he finally finished.

He grabbed her by the thighs and put her right on top of the control panel, the sun behind her back. He removed every piece of armor he could from both him and her and pulled her as close as he possibly could. He dig his talons in her hair as she moaned into his ear, burnt by his touch.

He kissed her, deep, enjoying every breath they took together, undisturbed, in peace.

He planted a kiss on his mark on her neck, and she laughed out as it tickled her. Her laugh rang around him, honest, and this time... free.

 

They were finally free, with a world of relays to explore ahead of them, and as they looked into each other’s eyes, their minds clouded with passion… their journey into the unknown began once again.

  


**THE END**


End file.
